Summer Sunsets (24 page)

Skye leans against him, and
I wait for her to draw back before I finally ask, “How’s
Helen?”

Warren stares at his wife,
who hasn’t moved since we’ve been here, which is so not like her.
Typically, voices wake her. “Sleeping. The doctor has given her
sedatives to help her deal with the pain and medication to treat
the clots.”

Skye’s face turns ashen,
and I can tell by her crestfallen expression she wanted him to tell
her nothing serious had happened, that everything was just a
misunderstanding, but he can’t. She takes small, shallow breaths,
as though her body can’t handle more. “So what happens now?” She
licks her lips, and I can tell by her tight expression she’s about
to cry.

“
We wait and see how the
medication is working.” Warren brushes his fingers through his
hair, and I can tell by the thick stubble on his face he’s been
here a while, and it’s wearing on him.

Skye takes a dazed step
backwards, the shock evident. “We wait? Mom had a stroke, and they
want to wait to treat her?” Her voice is rising, and her nostrils
flare with each breath. The storm is coming.

“
Skye, it’s going to be
okay.” Warren reaches for her shoulder as he senses the precipice
in front of them both, but she backs away.

“
No, it’s not. It’s never
going to be okay again!” Her tone is fringed with panic, and she
takes one last look at her mom before flying out the
door.

Warren’s shoulders sink,
and he starts to follow, but I gesture for him to stay with Helen.
“I’ll get her. Just give me a minute.”

He nods slowly and walks
back to Helen’s bedside while I slip out the door. As I suspect,
Skye is right there, her back plastered against the opposite wall
as she tries to hold everything inside. She’s breathing fast. When
I reach for her, she snaps, “Don’t!” in a tone fraught with tears
and emotions, which tells me she’s afraid she’s going to lose
whatever composure she might have.

“
Okay.” I lean against the
wall next to her, my hands in my pockets. For a few seconds, we
stand there, me looking at her, and Skye looking at the ground. No
big surprise there, really. When she’s upset, she’d much rather
stare at anything except at someone. It makes it easier to think
she’s in control, which she isn’t. When it comes to a lot of the
big stuff, none of us are in the driver’s seat.

“
I get that you’re upset,
and I know you love your mom, but so does Warren, and he’s doing
everything he can to stay calm; he’s as terrified as you,
Skye.”

That’s when the flash of
tears appears in her eyes, and she starts blinking, trying to push
them back.

“
I know you want to be
angry, but it’s not going to do anyone, least of all you, any good.
We both know that.”

She leans her head against
the wall and closes her eyes. “I know. But if I wouldn’t have
driven like a maniac because I was so afraid, I would have been
here when it happened.” Her hands begin to tremble, and I know
she’s losing control. She knows it, too.

“
And what would you have
done Warren didn’t? How could you have made things better?” I keep
my voice low as two nurses walk past. One of them looks in our
direction and I offer a half-smile, trying to tell her we’re all
right. She must see things like this a lot because she nods and
keeps going.

Skye opens her eyes. “I
would have been able to tell her I loved her.”

I nod and reach out for her
hand. “And you think your mom doesn’t know that? You think she
doubts how you feel? I don’t.”

Skye leans toward me so her
head rests on my shoulder. “I know what you’re saying, Devin, but
it feels like I should have done something instead of being
stupid—and how could I have missed the fact she was in pain? Who
does that?”

I squeeze her hand.
“Everyone. No matter how much we want to think we know when someone
we love is in pain, we don’t. Hell, the day you took all those
pills, I had no clue you were trying to kill yourself. I knew you
were upset, but that’s it. And you can’t imagine how guilty I felt
after I got there, knowing how close it was.” I rest my chin
lightly on her forehead, liking the way it feels to have her
there.

“
That was different,
Devin.”

“
Was it? How? Loss is loss,
Skye, and pain is pain. It doesn’t matter if someone means to kill
themselves or whether something bad happens. The guilt is there no
matter what, and right now, Warren’s in the same boat you are. He
thinks there’s something he should’ve done even though there’s no
way he could have known.”

Skye slips one arm over my
stomach. “So what do I do, Devin?”

Kissing her forehead, I
reply, “The best you can. It’s all anyone can do.”

She lingers there a few
more minutes before finally slipping from my arms toward the door
to Helen’s room. Her face is ashen, but at least she seems steadier
on her feet and more composed.

Taking a deep breath, I
follow, praying Helen recovers. As I slip into the room, I see Skye
sitting in the chair near the bed, her hand tentatively reaching
out to take her mom’s. Warren has turned to face her, his back
braced against the window.

I watch Helen’s face a
moment, searching for some signs of change, that she’s even aware
Skye is there, but her features are slack, more than likely
controlled by the drugs creeping through the IV tubing. Giving Skye
a little distance, I walk over to Warren and lean against the
window ledge next to him. I take in his pale face and the bloodshot
eyes he rubs in fatigue.

“
You all right?” I ask,
folding my arms across my chest.

“
Yeah. It’s been a long
day.” He blinks a couple of times as though trying to clear the
haze.

I peer at the clock. “Well,
you have been here a while.” I nod toward Helen. “I take it she’s
going to be out of it for a while.”

“
Yeah.” He nods and turns
his attention to Skye. “How’s she holding up?” His voice is a low
rumbling, and I can tell he doesn’t want her to know he’s
asking.

“
She’s scared, like the rest
of us.”

Warren swallows hard and
tears film his eyes—the first sign in all this that’s unsettled me.
“I can’t pretend I have any better idea than anyone else what’s
going to happen. I do know whatever happens, I’ll always be here
for her. I made her a promise, and I intend to keep it.” He draws
in a shaky breath.

Patting his shoulder, I
say, “She knows that. Right now, she’s pretty shaken. Give her some
time, and she’ll be okay.” I look back at Helen. No change. Right
now, Skye’s bent close to her, whispering something in her
ear.

“
I wish there were more I
could do.” Warren’s voice is distant, and I can feel the pain as he
barely holds everything together. That’s when I know he needs to
take a break. Hospital rooms are too damned depressing for anyone’s
good.

I pat his shoulder. “Why
don’t you take a break—get some sleep or something to eat? We’ll
stay here with Helen.” I nod toward Skye. “It’s not like we’re
going anywhere.”

“
I can’t.”

“
Yes, you can,” I tell him.
“There’s no point in just standing here, waiting for things to get
better or worse. That’ll happen without any action on either of our
parts, okay? Just go get some air and get out of this place. Helen
would understand.”

He rakes his fingers
through his hair, and I can tell he’s afraid to leave, afraid
something else will happen. The problem with that is something
might. Then again, even if it happened when he were here, he
couldn’t control it then, either. Control is an illusion, that’s
it.

“
Go,” I whisper, sensing
he’s about to cave in.

“
Are you sure?” he whispers,
his shoulders sagging

“
Yes. We’ve got her. Just go
take a break.” If my words aren’t enough, I gently take his
shoulder and urge him toward the door.

“
All right.” He stops beside
Skye and gently grasps her shoulders reassuringly. When she looks
up, he whispers he’ll be back in a few moments, and she gives him a
slight nod before turning her attention back to her mom, where
nothing has changed. Stillness has settled on Helen like a fine
sheen of dust.

Warren edges towards the
door and slips out, his last gaze at Helen’s face. For a moment, I
just stand there, watching all the sadness and pain wash over
Skye’s face. Her hand gently grasps her mothers, and she keeps
watching as though she’s expecting her mom to wake up at any
moment. I wish Helen would wake up. How I wish that.

Sensing she won’t, I step
towards Skye. My hands touch her shoulders and my fingers gently
begin to work the tension from her muscles.

“
Why couldn’t this have
happened when I was here?” she whispers in a trembling
voice.

“
It wouldn’t have mattered.”
I brush the hair toward her front so I can keep massaging. “You’d
still be where you are, and it would hurt just as much.”

She starts shaking, and I
know it has nothing to do with the temperature of the room. It’s at
least seventy-five in here, and definitely warmer than I like. No,
the cold comes from fear, and for a moment, she says nothing for a
while. When she finally does speak, her voice breaks. “What if I
lose my mom?”

This is when I wish I had
all the answers so I could put her mind at ease, but I don’t. No
one does, and while that universal should put all of us at ease in
our ignorance, somehow I don’t think it does. So I take a deep
breath and do the only thing I know: I wrap my arm around her and
pull her close.

“
I know you’re scared,” I
whisper, kissing the top of her head. “And you have every right to
be. Just don’t let that fear overshadow everything. Your mom is
here. Just hold onto that.”

She blinks and looks up at
me. “Devin, she’s all the family I have. I don’t count my father
anymore.”

“
Is she? I don’t think
that’s right.” I push the hair from her eyes. “You have Warren—and
good luck trying to get rid of me. I’m worse than ABC
gum.”

Her eyes close. “I’m not
Warren’s real daughter, Devin. We both know that.” Her voice breaks
again, and tears spill down her face.

“
No, you’re not his birth
daughter, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t think of you as family.
Warren’s not going anywhere. I can promise you that.”

She nods, unsure. “But what
about Mom? What if she misses the wedding?” Her gaze drifts to her
left hand, which is shaking badly.

“
She’s not going to miss
anything. She will be there. You just have to believe that things
are going to turn out okay.” I try to meet her gaze, but she
refuses to look at me.

Each breath is shallow and
painful. “That’s where I’m not so good, Devin. You know how shaky
the ground is for me.”

Outside, a nurse rolls a
blood pressure cart past the doorway. Her gaze finds mine
momentarily and I offer a smile because I don’t know what else to
do. Then the nurse is gone and I’m back with Skye and
Helen.

“
Then I’ll carry you. One
way or another, we’ll get through this. It’s just going to take
some time.

I feel her lean into me,
and while I wish like hell her mom were awake and lucid, right now
I’m grateful to be holding Skye like this. There’s nowhere else I’d
rather be. Together, we sit down, ease back, and rest against the
back of the chair, and it’s not long before both of us drift off to
sleep, waiting for some good news.

“
Skye?”

The sound of Helen’s voice
prompts me from sleep, and I wake to find Skye nestled against me,
her head resting comfortably on my shoulder. Although there’s a
slight crick in my neck, it’s not so bad. After I work the kinks
out of my neck, I’m starting to think otherwise. Skye’s worth
it.

“
Mom,” she whispers, leaning
close as she takes Helen’s hand and buries herself against her
mom’s chest. Sensing she needs a moment, I step toward the window
and look out, watching the last of daylight leaving the
sky.

“
Shh.” Helen’s voice is
weak, but I still hear her trying to calm Skye. “It’s going to be
okay.”

I glance back and see Skye
clinging to her, crying softly as the pain she’s been trying so
hard to keep hidden forces its way out. Helen has wrapped her arm
around her daughter, and she holds her tightly, murmuring things I
don’t want to hear. This is a private moment, and I start to leave
when I see Helen take Skye’s hand—the left one—and gasp at the
sight of the ring.

“
Oh, my,” she croons,
looking from Skye to me and back. “Does this mean what I
think?”

Skye slowly brushes the
back of one hand across her face and nods. “Yes. You have to be
here. Devin and I are getting married, and I can’t plan the wedding
by myself. You have to help me.” Her voice breaks again, and I feel
the pain that just keeps eating away at her. Somehow I know deep
down Skye thinks all of this is her fault, that she’s never really
deserved to be happy, but she’s wrong. She’s so wrong.

Helen smiles at Skye and
reaches to brush a strand of hair from her face. “I know you’re
scared, baby, but I’m going to be fine. You’ll see.” She offers a
weak smile and nod that finally coaxes a grin from Skye.