Sudden Hope (2 page)

“Earth to CC?”
Jenny was waving her hand in front of my face.

“Sorry
, Jenny.” I giggled, but it is more for show than anything else. “Must have been daydreaming. Can you pull in to a bathroom?” I ask but it is more of a demand.

“We're going to be at school in five minutes
, girl. Really?”

“Yea I know
, Jenny, but with all the drama at my house, I didn’t get to go. And I really have to, please?”

“Okay, fine, I guess
,” she says it with one of those looks that only she can give. Thank God, I think.

I r
un into the gas station bathroom feeling sick to my stomach. My life is spiraling out of control. I can’t stay at home anymore, but I can’t leave. I feel like the internal struggles are going to strangle me. I just need a moment to compose myself. I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath. Jenny will come in any moment, I know this and I know I need to get myself together. Washing my face I take a look in the mirror. It isn’t a good sight. The bags under my eyes are ridiculous and I don’t even have makeup with me to fix it. I run my fingers through my hair again to try to get the rats nest tamed. It isn’t working, but at least it is making me feel better about myself. I will just have to wait until I get to school and get my bag out of my locker. Thank God for backups. I take another breath and walk back out to the car. Jenny is going to question me about what the real problem is and I will need to come up with something to tell her. How can you explain to your best friend that nightmares and memories keep you up at night?

I walk back up to the car and Jenny is staring at me like I’m a two-headed monster. I climb in and she’s still staring at me.

“CC, what's wrong? What’s going on?”

She is concerned but honestly, there is nothing I can do about it. I will be fine, just having one of those bad days you c
ould say, I guess.

“I'm good
, Jenny. Let’s just get to school okay, Chickie, please,” I am begging and she knows it, she always knows when I am. Although she has an idea something is wrong, she just shakes her head and smiles. Jenny is my best friend and I always know she will be there for me without question. This just confirms it.

Chapter Two

It is my senior year at Elmont High School. Six more months to go and my nightmare will be over. I cannot lie, it’s rough. Over all I am an okay student, B's mostly. Nothing much to really brag about. Music is my life though. I play the guitar and write music. So any music class is always the highlight of my day.

The friends I have at school are great. I mean the absolute best. I am so lucky to have them in my life.
So lucky to still be with them. They are the only reason I am still here. The only reason I am even living with my mom. She took over our house when my father died. It is my house. It was mine. It was left to me in his will. The only problem is I am only seventeen. By law, I cannot get it in my name until I turn eighteen. Just my luck. So, the lawyers told me I had to have a guardian move-in. I did not have a legal guardian appointed to me. Guess my father never thought about that. To make matters worse, my mom was notified of his death and came running back. The legality of it all is because she is still alive, it would have to be her that moved in with me and take over as my guardian, and with her came my stepfather, Ryan.

It was really the last thing I wanted, but in order to stay with my friends I had her move in. Six more months and six days that is all I needed to get through then everything will be mine.
Can I last that long? That’s the true question. My friends make it all okay though they make everything worth it.

Anthony, Chris, Danny, Jenny, Lea and I are inseparable. We are the group people dream about being. We are the dream and we are inseparable.

Anthony is gorgeous, like I mean, HOLY HOTTNESS! Brown hair that always looks a mess but like he did it that way on purpose. His five foot ten inch frame is always tanned a golden bronze. Glowing would be more like it. It is the Italian in him, one-hundred percent of oh my goodness. Left wing on the hockey team, the position fits him perfectly. He likes to fight, and aggressiveness is always best for a wingman.

Lea has been dating Anthony for as long as any of us can remember. I swear they were born for one another. She is small enough to fit under his arm and that is how they are whenever you see them together. Half the time you don’t know where he ends and she begins.

Chris is my puppy dog (as Jenny would call him). The poor boy follows me around where ever I go. At least once a month he will ask me out but that is it. We have a rule no more than once or he knows as well as everyone else that I will kick his ass from here to next week. Not that I don’t like him, just not in that way. He is sweet but not for me. I guess he figures if he keeps asking I will give in eventually, but everyone will tell you Chris is beyond in love with me and sometimes that makes me nervous.

Danny well, he is what brought us together.
He is both our shoulder to cry on and our hero to protect us. The center on the hockey team and the sexiest sweetest person in school, he has every girl in school drooling. I am seriously in love, or lust, or something with him, but can’t ever tell anyone. Every moment I can, I watch him. The good part is we are best friends so no one ever expects anything. We are together, if not the same amount of time, possibly more, than Jenny and I are. The bad part is he is not interested in me in the way I wish he would be. I want more than a friendship but I never mention it to him, I am too afraid he will laugh or worse, it will ruin our friendship. That is not what I need at the moment. That is not what I ever want. If I can’t be with him in any other way, a friendship will have to do. My heart though, that is a different story, that will always remain with him.

The funniest thing though is when the three boys walk down the halls together. Well it is funny to me at least. Girls sigh and flirt and blush when one of the boys
so much as looks their way. Then the looks always go to us girls. We always get the nastiest looks or just get completely ignored as if we aren’t even there. Lea has every right to get mad, everyone is always all over Anthony, but Jenny and I just laugh. Everyone knows those boys are ours. Everyone knows they don’t hang out with any of the other girls in the school, only us. This also causes many problems for the three of us girls. Trying to keep the drunken slutty girls off of them at parties and the hockey games is a hassle sometimes.

“Hey
, baby.”

“Hi
, Chris.”

“Do you know what today is?”

“Yep, time for me to tell you once again, Chris, I love you, I do, but not in that way. It will only destroy our friendship,” I look right into his eyes as I say my speech. The same speech I give every month.

Chris rolls his eyes and drops his head down. “Damn CC, you didn’t even let me ask you this time.” He looks so sad.

“Yea, I’m sorry, Chris. I've got a lot on my mind. Next month I'll let you. I promise!” I hold up my hand in one of those Girl Scout salutes.

There it is
. The smile that makes most girls melt. He really is a beautiful man. He has short messy brown hair and is just as built as Anthony. With hazel eyes that always look sleepy, so they have that seductive look to them. I just don’t see him as anything more than a friend. To make matters worse he is Danny's best friend, which also puts Danny out of reach for me. If there could ever be any more obstacles than what is already between us.

“What
ya doing tonight? It’s Friday, “Anthony whispers in my ear.

“Damn dude, I didn’t see you behind me.” He always likes to sneak up on me. I swear one day he is going to get hit.

“Hey Lea! Your hair looks beautiful today.” She has the most beautiful flowing blond curls I’ve ever seen. With natural highlights, people pay good money to have.

“Thank you
,” she says with a twinkle in her baby blues.

“But really what are you doing tonight? There’s a party at the hideout.” That’s what we call the biggest hang out place around. It is deep in the middle of the woods. You can build the biggest fire and no one can ever see it. It is
one of our favorite places to go and just unwind from the week.

“I am so there
,” I say without even thinking twice about it.

“I need a night out.”

“Jenny coming?” I ask Lea.

“Of course, if you are
,” Anthony says. “We all know she is where ever you are.”

“True.” I laugh
because it is true.

“CC?” Danny is yelling from down the hall. “Can you pick me up? Please? I love that car of yours.”

“Yes, Danny
,” automatically I agree. I will do anything to be alone with him, even if just for five minutes. Plus, he really does love my car. It was my dads of course, but boy is it hot. A 1969 Dodge Charger R/T SE Coupe! With a four-forty-four engine four-speed manual transmission. Cherry red with black interior. Mint condition. Last summer, I had helped my dad restore it. Jenny and Danny came over a lot to “hang out” during that time. I knew Danny was my friend but I also knew that he knew if he came over, he and my dad would end up outside for hours working on the car while Jenny and I hung out. I liked seeing Danny with my dad. He doesn’t have a father and no one ever mentions what happened to him. I don’t even know if Danny knew him.

“Awesome
,” Danny says as he walks up to me. He looks as happy as a two year old in a candy store.

“I'll pick you up at eight or so alright?”

“Okay,” he says with a smile. He leans down and kisses me on my forehead. He gives me a wink then walks away.

“Well now that we know what we're doing tonight maybe we should get to class,
ya think?” Everyone laughs and starts walking away. I can’t help but laugh too. Fridays are always amazing and tonight I have a great feeling it will be something to remember.

The school day seemed to drag on for the rest of the day but it is finally ninth period and I can’t wait to get the hell out of here. Jenny meets me at my locker and has the stupidest smile on her face.

“I can't wait for tonight. We are going to have so much fun, girl. We so need this, and guess what I just heard? Hmm?” I laugh at the little kid in her voice. She is so excited.

“What did you hear
, Jenny?” She grabs my shoulders and shakes me.

“The boys don't have a game tomorrow so they will be there all night.”

“That's so awesome.” I have a grin now too. I love when all the boys stay at night. It just makes things more fun when they are there, and to top it all off I always stay at Jenny's on Fridays so I don't have to deal with home. This day is getting better by the moment.

“Ready
, Jenny? I guess I have to go home and face Donna and Ryan.” Ugh, even the thought of it makes me sick.

“Sure, I guess I am
, CC.” Jenny looks like she is going to get sick too. I hate going home and Jenny hates taking me there.

Chapter Three

Walking through the door, I go straight into my room. No one is home and I am thrilled to death about it. After my homework, I jump into the shower and get dressed in my skintight blue jeans and the little pink tank that I love so much. It is nothing special but I look good in it. I run down the stairs and reach in the closet for my favorite denim jacket. I need to get out of my house before Donna and Ryan get home. I am actually having a good day and don’t want Donna to ruin it.

Turning
up the radio to a level just above what normal people would call loud, the bass is pumping hard enough I can feel it all the way to my toes. Rush comes flying through the speakers with such force I shiver. I love the keyboard in Rush, but the vocals of Geddy Lee always does something to me I cannot even explain. They are just amazing! This is one of the few things that relax me.

Pulling
up to Danny’s a little early, I never mind seeing or hanging out with his mom. I kind of use a lot of excuses to come over now and again when I need motherly advice. She is the sweetest woman I have ever met. She always has a hug waiting for me no matter what she is doing. I know she sometimes feels like I am the daughter she never had and sometimes I know she is the mother I always wanted. Danny got a lot of his facial features from his mom but his eyes must have been from his dad because Grace has the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. They are almost as dark as emeralds and her thick dark lashes accentuate the look of them with every blink.

I walk up stairs to the front door. Grace is already waiting for me. Greeting me with the same smile Danny always had waiting for me. “CC, honey, come here.”

“Hi, Grace.” Her arms are already around me. “Daniel is still in the shower! Hockey practice was brutal.” She shakes her head while she huffs. Grace hates that Danny plays hockey but it is his love, his life, he breathes it. “Well honey, have a seat. I made cookies.”

“No thank you
, Grace. I'm not very hungry,” I say with a smile. I really don’t like sweets and Grace is no Julia Child.

“Okay I know
,” she says twisting her lips to the side. “I really need to stop trying to cook. Well at least bake.” She laughs and I can’t help but laugh also. “Are you doing all right? Danny seems to be more concerned than usual?” She’s lost her smile now and is staring at me. You would think it would make me uncomfortable but actually, it makes me feel cared for.