Sudden Hope (15 page)

“What!”

“Yea, we need to find him now!” I tell her everything that happened with him coming over and telling me goodbye. Even she knows that it isn’t good, the goodbye part is what really shocks her. We all have an agreement we will never say goodbye. She spins her car around and at the same time reaches for her cell phone.

“Damn, could this night get any worse? Call Anthony see if he has seen him. I'll call Lea.” She is as cool as I know her to be, even with all the drama, Jenny is always so collected. We drive around for a while looking at every place we can think of that he might have gone to, but come up with nothing. Anthony and Lea had not seen him. Chris said he heard from him and he seemed upset but would not say where he was. Gail said he told her he was going out and would not be home for a while. If she isn’t worried, I shouldn't be but I don't want to end my night not knowing if I lost him. I need him more than anything. I know he needs me. I know he loves me, but I don't know if he realizes how much I really love him. This is all my fault, I always seem to be the one causing problems and here I am doing it again. Doing what I do best. The worst part though is now I am hurting the people I love most. Maybe it is my turn to go.

“Jenny, just take me home. I need to go home and you need to sleep. We will find him in the morning okay? It is so late and everything has gone so wrong.” I am just defeated. I need to sleep.

“I don't think you should be alone, CC, I think you should stay over.” She is probably right but I feel like I need to be alone with my thoughts I don't want to hurt anyone else. It feels like the right thing to do but I am probably wrong again.

“No Jen, just please take me home. I'll call you in the morning. We can have coffee and go to Danny's house, he will be home then and he will have to talk to us.”

“All right, CC, if you insist.” And I did.

Chapter Seventeen

There were no dreams in the few hours I was asleep. Sometimes it is nice just to sleep at night uninterrupted. Last night I needed that more than anything. What was I to do? Was he really gone? I could not deal with that loss. The loss of my dad was hard enough but without Danny- the thought is unbearable.

I do
n’t want to go to Jenny’s after last night, I'm sure Jenny blames me. Lea has to hate me, especially now. Chris, I could not go to, for obvious reasons. Anthony, well he was never an option. We were friends but we were not close. I am truly alone!

I figured what the hell. I went downstairs and started cleaning. I could never do anything without cleaning first. My stomach growled as I poured a bowl of cheerios. I hated cheerios but it was the only thing in the cabinet besides pancakes and we know that
’s not happening.

I finished eating and went about cleaning up. This was my house and I'll be damned if they were going to ruin it. I had bagged up two outdoor black garbage bags and carried them out of the house. That's when I saw Jenny leaning against my car.

“Hey girl,” as curious as I am about her being here I am so happy to see her. “I need you, CC.” She runs to me.

“
It's okay, Jenny, what’s wrong?” She is uncontrollable. I help her in my car. “I'll be right back.” I need to get my keys and some clothes.

“I just can’t believe this is all happening. I mean what is wrong with the world today?”

“I know, tell me about it,” I answer.

“CC, the key to your car
is missing from my glove box.” She is staring out the window but turns to look at me as she finishes.

“I think James is the one who left the box in your car.” I actually sigh.

“Probably, Jenny, that's what I think now that we know he had access.” At least we know the mystery behind the box. I shrug.

“How could I have been that stupid? How could I have thought he actually cared for me?”
she is sobbing with every word.

“It is because you are a good person who sees the best in everyone. Oh and not to mention he is hot as hell.” She finally smiles.

“Let’s go get some coffee.” We pull into the local cafe and Jenny runs straight for the bathroom. I can't blame her. She is definitely not looking her best. I am rather impressed that she even walked in here. Actually it makes me worry more than I already am. Jenny does not go out looking less than perfect.

I order Jenny's usual non-fat cafe mocha latte with no sugar and my extra-large coffee, light and sweet. I figure if I am on little sleep she has to be on no sleep.

The cafe is quiet but I know it will not stay that way. Soon it will fill up with people needing their morning fix of caffeine before work and kids who stay up too late needing a boost before school. Right now, it is just what we need, a quiet place to sit and talk.

Jenny walks out of the bathroom looking almost normal. That’s the thing about Jenny, she could be a wreck and all she needs is a moment to compose and she is back to her captivating self.

“Wow Chickie, I so needed this.” She is smiling as she takes the biggest drink of her latte. “This is heaven,” she continues as she wipes the foam from her mouth.

“Yea it sure is,” I agree.

“Have you heard from anyone?” I check my phone for about the millionth time since I woke up but I know there are no missed calls or texts. Before I had gone to bed, I set my phone to the loudest setting possible.

“No, actually
, CC, I shut my phone off, it was going crazy last night and I did not feel like dealing with it.” I understand but I am a little upset that she didn't keep it on to see if Danny called.

“Can you turn it on and check it for me? I'm really worried about Danny.”

“Oh, CC, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have turned it off. I didn't think about Danny calling.” She is legitimately upset and I understand but she really does not have a reason to be. We both had a bad night last night.

“Jenny, it’s okay
,” I say with a shake of my head. “But can you turn it on now?” She is one step ahead of me. I watch helpless as I see her check her voice mails. Her eyes spring open and slaps her hand on the table.

“Holy geez
, CC, I have like seven missed calls, all from Danny.”

“What? Why?”

“Hold on listen.” Jenny puts her phone on speaker and sets it on the table. The first three voice mails are normal stuff. “Jenny, its Danny, call me.” Then it gets more panicked. “Jenny, call me now.” “Jenny, so help me, you need to call.” Then it is the voice mail that worries me most. “Jenny, make sure CC is okay please, I left her and she is going to need someone.” I cannot comprehend why he would say he left me. Did he mean left as in left town or left me as in does not want to be with me anymore. I run through what he said to me last night but I only remember the goodbye. I look at Jenny and she just sits there quiet. The last message is dead air. We both just sit here looking at the phone. Jenny slides the bar to shut off the voice mails and I stand up.

“That's it, I'm going to take control of my life and I'm going to make everything right again!” I am shouting but truthfully I do not care. The people in the cafe all turn towards me, whispering and nasty looks start immediately.

“What the hell? Haven’t you ever seen a teenager having a crisis?” I snatch my coffee from the table and guzzle it. “Let’s go, Jenny. Now we’re going to find him and he is going to talk to me.”

We drive around a little while and Jenny calls her mom to let her know she is okay. I call and send a text to Danny but he is not responding to me. Really these kid games have to stop. Doesn't everyone know I don't like to play games? After about an hour we decide to go to school. Prom is coming and if you miss too many days or are failing you are not allowed to go.

That is it! I smack Jenny as we walk through the halls. “Ouch. What was that for?” she asks as she over dramatically rubs her arm.

I point to the prom poster hanging above the cafeteria door. Prom, we are all going together and Danny would never break a promise to the group. “Saturday is prom. I will lay off him until then and when the limo pulls up he will have to see me and talk to me." Jenny’s face lights up and she jumps for joy like a five year old, clapping and all. I smile and go about my day thinking of how much fun prom is going to be.

The week was incredibly long. Every day was worse than the next. Danny had been in school but seemed like he was doing everything to avoid me. He had not answered my texts or calls and everyone else said he hadn't mentioned me. I did not want to push the issue so I just bit my tongue and hid in the shadows. Today is Friday and tomorrow everything will be perfect.

Prom; the day
dreams become reality as girls are transformed into princesses. Only I don't feel like a princess. To some, prom is just as important as their wedding. To me, it is my last chance to make things right with the one person I love more than life itself. This is the most important day of my life. I am so excited to see Danny I can think of nothing else.

Jenny, Lea and I had shopped for weeks to find the perfect dresses. I hadn't seen Danny but I knew he would be there. We made these plans forever ago. They were what we talked about since junior high school. He wouldn't let me down
. I know I can count on him.

All of
us girls slept over at Jenny’s house and woke up early to get ready. We had been to the nail salon and to the hairdresser and now it was time to put on our dresses. Lea makes even Cinderella look like an ugly stepsister. Her dress is a beautiful royal blue chiffon mermaid style dress with a sweetheart neckline. It is strapless, of course, and adorned with the most beautiful ruching across the front and lace up the back. It is pure elegance in every sense of the word. Of course it would not be Lea unless she was wearing six-inch stilettos.

“Um, Lea what are these?” I hold her shoes up and twirl them through the air.

“I need to be at least half as tall as Anthony,” she said with a giggle. Lea is always giggling.

Jenny's dress is way above and beyond what any girl would normally wear; a watermelon A-line strapless mini dress. Only Jenny could pull this look off. It is beautiful in every meaning of the word.

It has an empire waistline with a tulle overlay in triangle cuts. She is so unbelievably beautiful in it but honestly she is always beautiful. Their dresses make mine pale in comparison. I have a strictly white strapless long flowing gown, nothing fancy, just simple because that's what I like, simple and sweet.

I look in the mirror and for the first time in a while I see me. My light brown hair is just left down straight. It has grown some since the attack but I do not like it up. My make-up is also simple, just peach lip-gloss, different hues of brown and gold to enhance my eyes. I love my eyes. I really don't care much for myself when it comes to my image, but my eyes, they are truly beautiful. I run my hands down my sides. I still think I am a little too thin but my chest is large enough to hold my dress up. I guess I can thank my mom for one thing in my life.

The three of us look at each other and smile. We are smoking hot and the boys, they are going to love it tonight, if they show up. We all agreed to go dateless, well except Lea and Anthony. We are just a group of friends having a good night out and everything is going to be paradisiac.

The limo pulls up and Jenny starts squealing with delight. “Let’s go. Let’s go. Come on you guys.” She really just cannot contain herself.

“Alright I'm coming.” I take one last look in the mirror and smile.

Lea is being so melodramatic sauntering up to the limo that I can't help but laugh. She really can put a smile on your face no matter how nervous you are. Nervous is not the word to describe the feeling I
am having. More like apprehensive about what the evening will entail.

I haven't seen Danny in what feels like a lifetime. I am so happy to be able to talk to him, to see him. Maybe I can show him how much he means to me tonight. Maybe he will want to be with me again. Maybe he will love me again.

The door opens and my heart falls. Danny is not there. Anthony looks at me and shakes his head. How could he do this to me? I can't believe he would be this cruel. He told me he loved me and now he is doing the worst thing possible. He must hate me. There is really no other reasoning for his behavior. I've lost my best friend. I've lost me.

I sit staring out the window to nothingness. I feel inadequate, like I shouldn't even be here. I am completely alone and where is Danny anyway? Why would he not be here? “Do you guys know why?” I don't have to elaborate any further, everyone knows what I mean. Even Chris has forgiven me for leading him on and we are friends again. At least I have that.

We pull up to the hotel and I jump from the car I want everyone else to have a good time and I know I am just going to bring them down. Maybe I should leave. There is really nothing for me here anyway. The only person I want in life is so mad at me he won't even talk to me.

I paraded into the grand ballroom and it is magnificent. It is awe-inspiring. It has the tallest ceilings and the most elegant teardrop chandeliers. There has to be at least twenty of them. Blonde hard wood floors with a stage built in, ideal for the band they have scheduled. It is the perfect paradise. The most romantic place I have ever seen. I stop dead in my tracks. Danny is here and he looks astonishing. He is in the white tux we had talked about. I cannot comprehend the reason to what I see next. Michelle walks up and throws her arms around him. She presses her lips to his and I can't breathe. He looks at her like she is his everything. The way
he used to look at me. His eyes lift and meet mine. He pushes Michelle back and starts to walk towards me. I dart out of the room and flee for the entrance. Jenny saw exactly what I had seen and comes running after me.