Strung (Seaside) (13 page)

“Right.” She got to her feet and waited while I turned off the TV as well as the rest of the lights. Once the last light downstairs was extinguished, my heart took off like a jackhammer

“Alec?” Nat called to me in the dark. Damn it, I really should have thought that through. Darkness made me think things were okay that were so not okay in the daytime, in the light.

“I’m here,” I said from behind her, my hand moving to the small of her back as I led her up the stairs. She tripped on the last one. “You okay?”

She mumbled a ‘yes.’

We walked in silence down the hall, I pushed open the door to Demetri’s room and flicked on the light. “So…” Everything was in khaki and white. My brother may be addicted to illegal substances but he was seriously the cleanest guy I knew. He liked bland colors for his room; said excitement made it so he coudln’t calm down and sleep. Sometimes I wondered if he needed bland in his life because he was so ADD all the time.

“Wow.” Nat’s gaze roamed around the room.

“Creepy, I know,” I said behind her. “He’s weird about keeping his room clean and clutter free, says it messes with his music if he has clutter in his life.”

“Sounds like him.” She smiled happily. Was I imagining things or did she genuinely look like she missed him? My heart skipped a beat then took off again.

“So” — I clapped my hands together as if I was a freaking tour guide — “The bathroom’s right through there, and the sheets are clean. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay.”

I nodded and started walking out of the room.

Nat called after me, “Alec, thanks for letting me stay and for…” She sighed. “For saying I’m important.”

“No problem.” I knew my smile was sad, but I couldn’t help it. I slowly closed the door and walked across the hall to my room.

It wasn’t the thunder that woke me up — nope instead it was Nat’s yelling across the hall. At first I thought I’d left the TV on or something but it was her voice. Cursing, I ran as fast as I could to Demetri’s room and threw open the door. Nat was thrashing in her bed.

“No! No!”

“Nat! Nat, wake up, Sweet. Wake up.” I tenderly took her into my arms and rocked her gently. “It was just a dream.”

Her entire body shook as I pulled her into my lap. She buried her head in my chest.

“Nat? Talk to me, Nat.” My voice was shaky to say the least.

She trembled. “It was so real.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I caressed her head, keeping it firmly tucked under my chin.

“No.” Her body convulsed.

“Come on.” I lifted her into my arms, laying her cheek against my bare chest. Using my foot, I closed the door to Demetri’s room and walked back into mine.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Relax.” I whispered, placing her on my bed. Carefully, I pulled back the covers and tucked her in. She looked exhausted. I kissed her forehead and got in next to her. “Sleep, Nat.”

She shivered like she was cold. Well hell. I could handle this. I could control myself. “Come here,” I draped an arm around her and tucked her into the curve of my body.

Nat tensed. Did she think I was that guy? That I would use her fear to put a move on her?

“Nat, I’m exhausted and most of all I’m a good guy. Close your eyes, and stop worrying. Demetri would understand.”

“Okay.” She sagged against me in relief, within minutes her breathing was slow and even.

I however — didn’t’ sleep a wink. And it had everything to do with the fact that her entire body fit perfectly against mine, and I had no clue, no idea, if I’d ever experience that type of perfection again.

Finally, around four am, I succumb to exhaustion. The morning sunlight woke me up first, and then it was Nat moving beneath me that got my attention. I kept my eyes closed, amused that she had somehow gotten herself so tangled in both my legs and the sheets.

She gave another grunt as she tried to pull her legs out from underneath mine. Finding it hilarious, I tightened my hold on her body. Nat sighed in frustration and tried again, then stilled.

Was she staring at me?

“Stop inspecting me, it’s creepy,” I said in a hoarse voice. “Did I mention I haven’t slept that good in years?” Granted, it took me a while to get there but once I was asleep. It was like I’d been given a sedative.

“I’m the best bed partner ever.” Nat joked trying to nudge me, instead, her nudge made it so she fell back against me — forcefully pushing our bodies together in a way that really, really, mimicked all things sexual.

I closed my eyes and cursed. When I opened them again, it was to tell her that this thing, whatever we had, couldn’t ever be real. It had to end. It was too hard being close to her. Holy shit I was going to officially de-friend a person.

“Nat, we should, um, go for a run.” Yeah. That’s what I went with.

“Okay.”

Neither of us moved.

Her breathing picked up speed as she lowered her gaze to my lips.

She didn’t stop me. Not when I leaned closer to her, not when my head descended, not when my hands curled around hers pressing her softly against the mattress and not when my mouth found her lips — and lost all control. Nat reached around my head and pulled me tighter against her. I wanted to grind my hips against her — I wanted to take every inch of clothing she had on and rip it to shreds starting with that damn t-shirt that was Demetri’s.

Shit. Demetri.

Nat’s tongue met mine.

With a groan, I pinned her hands harder against the bed, and threw my other leg over her body straddling her so completely that I could feel every inch of her.

My tongue pushed deeper into her mouth, tasting, exploring. Her body arched up to meet mine as I tried to retreat. There was no way out of it. I wasn’t in control of anything anymore — her tongue retreated briefly as she gasped for air, our mouths falling apart for mere seconds before I took her lips captive over and over again, bruising them, forcing them to desire me — instead of him.

Finally, somehow, I gained control. Maybe it was there all the time and I’d just been choosing to ignore it. I sucked her lower lip, allowing myself one last taste, and pulled away. “I’m sorry, Nat.”

Every muscle flexed in my body. Not kissing her was almost as bad as kissing her because now I could see her. I could see her perfect little body beneath mine, her hair splashed across the white pillows.

“Why are you always apologizing after kissing me?” she asked, slowly moving to sit up.

I laughed bitterly. “Because I shouldn’t be kissing you, Nat.”

“But I thought you liked me.”

“Liked you?” I roared causing her to scurry back against the headboard. “I don’t just like you, Nat. But it doesn’t matter.”

“Why?”

“He loves you, Nat.”

“I…” Her eyes darted from my face down to her feet “I care for Demetri, you know I do.”

I swallowed and looked away. I didn’t know how to find the right words. Would normal words even work in this situation? How could I describe to her how I felt? Without betraying my brother? Without hurting her in the process?

“I just care about you too,” she whispered.

“Damn it! Do you have any idea how screwed up this is, Nat?” Her shoulders slumped in defeat as she nodded her head.

“It won’t happen again.” I swore. “I promised him it wouldn’t happen again.”

“What do you mean? Why are you so cryptic?”

I bit my lower lip and then let out a long sigh. “I would lose much more than your friendship if I answered that question, and regardless of my actions around you, I still truly desire to be your friend.”

“Can you? With this between us?” Her eyes were hopeful.

I was quiet for a few minutes. It felt like hours when I finally found my voice. “I have to.”

“So that’s that?” she snapped.

I stood and turned to face Nat. “Yes. End of discussion.”

She glared and threw back the covers to the bed. “Fine, let’s go for a run.”

“Nat.” I reached out and grabbed her hand. “Please don’t be mad. I don’t think I could handle it if I knew you were mad. I know you don’t get it, but we’re messed up, both of us. My brother and I. You’re the only one that’s been able to bring him out of it. He needs you.”

“More than you do?” she whispered looking down at the floor.

I cursed. “No.”

Her head jerked up.

“I just know at what cost it would be to have you, and it’s not a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” I finished.

Tears pooled in her eyes as she nodded and wiped a few stray ones that had slipped down her cheeks away.

“Don’t cry.” I moved behind her and pulled her body against mine. I hated her tears. Hated that I was the reason she was crying — again. “I promise this is for the best. He can make you so happy, Nat. He deserves to be happy. You love him, I know you do.”

She nodded, and without turning around said softly. “I love you, too.”

I love you too? I LOVE YOU TOO?

How was it possible to be so happy yet so defeated at the same time? I opened my mouth to speak as I clenched her tighter. Two heartbeats, maybe three, possibly four — that’s all it took for me to change our paths — our destiny forever.

“I love you too.” My lips grazed her ear and as the words fell from my mouth I knew — I would never love another — the way I loved Nat Murray and even if she was with Demetri for the rest of her life — I would live every day still loving her — Forever.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Demetri

BLAH-BLAH-BLAH.
Holy crap, slap me in the face. If Angelica didn’t stop talking soon I was seriously going to take a dive off the edge of this building. I was drinking water like it was going out of style and trying super hard to appear interested.

My flight left in less than two hours.

And. She. Just. Kept. Talking.

“And then I was like, screw you, I—” Angelica waved her hands in the air, yacking up a storm, sucking up time that I’d never ever get again, and moving her head back and forth like she couldn’t decide which position was more comfortable to swallow me whole from.

Seriously. The chick made me feel extremely uncomfortable and I’d had some serious run ins with groupies.

“Look” — I held up my hands in front of me — “I know your manager wanted you to be seen with me for promo but, for real, I have to catch a plane.”

Angelica turned bright red.

Huh, so the devil did get occasionally embarrassed. Well I’ll be damned.

“But—”

“We can figure something out when I get back.” I clutched my carryon in my hand and ushered her towards the lobby, gritting my teeth the entire way as a few photographers took pictures of us.

I smiled. Because well — I had to.

And Angelica went into crazy mode.

She launched herself at me, kissed my cheek, wiped off the lipstick and then curved her body against mine. Pretty sure I hated my life at that moment. I smiled so bright my face hurt. It was totally fake. You’d have to be an idiot to believe that I was anything but pissed in that moment.

When did I start to get sick of the press? I used to eat it up. Freaking loved the attention but now, it felt like every single picture they took was like getting punched in the gut.

“So” — Angelica flipped me towards her — “I’ll see you when I get back.”

Yeah and I was going to freaking go into hiding to make sure that she didn’t follow through on that threat — yeah it was a threat not a promise.

I still had a few hours to make it to Portland, drive into Seaside and surprise my girl. I smiled at the thought, this time a real smile that I’m sure every single camera caught, and stepped into the waiting limo.

Angelica can go to hell for all I cared… I had Nat. What else did I need?

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Alec

WAITING FOR NAT
to ascend the stairs was pure hell. I knew she’d look beautiful — in fact I knew she’d probably make me want to punch my brother in the face, the same brother who texted me this morning and said he was flying in to surprise her.

Yeah, we would get exactly no practice time for that little concert he had planned, but I knew we could pull it off.

I pulled at my black tie for the fiftieth time that night. My ears perked up when I heard footsteps coming down the hall.

“Wow!” Evan applauded while I tried to find words that would do Nat’s beauty justice. “You clean up well Nat.”

She rolled her eyes, and then set those same brown eyes in my direction, waiting for me to say something — anything. I wasn’t sure why my mouth wasn’t working. She was wearing a cute little cocktail dress that made her legs look so long I couldn’t stop staring. Her makeup was done to perfection. I mean, she was just so… pretty.

“Yes.” My voice was hoarse. I looked away licking my lips, gaining courage from the silence, and grabbed her hand. “Okay, you got everything you need? Because we needed to be there like ten minutes ago.”

Wow. So instead of compliments I just turn
into a complete ass?

If Nat was hurt she didn’t show it.

We piled into the car.

She wasn’t smiling until she checked her phone. It was Demetri; it had to be.

She giggled then asked Evan to take a picture of her. I tried not to be jealous but that’s the thing with jealousy — once you let it in, it’s hard as hell to remove it completely from your body. It’s like it plants seeds in every part of your soul until you’re physically sick with it.

I’d basically allowed her to cheat on him, with me, and I was still flirting with the entire idea of screwing it all and just having her for myself.

I told myself I wouldn’t make any more moves — if he messed up, she was fair game, until then. I stole another glance at her glossy lips and curled hair. Damn it. I’d wait years for her. Because nobody was perfect, right? At one point he was going to mess up, and I would be there to pick up the pieces.

We pulled up to the parking lot and immediately went to the door to start our patrol for homecoming committee. The only problem? I was usually the event people stood in line to see, so when they saw me guarding the door they wanted to touch, they wanted to flirt. I had two girls, TWO, offer sex in the bathroom stall. Right, because that was every rock star’s fantasy. Sex in a high school bathroom? Really?