Strong (Kindred #1) (26 page)

“I need my pyjamas, can you get them for me?”

“Actually… I have something for you,” he grins. “Wait here.”

He disappears and comes back two minutes later with a present in his hands. He places it on the bed and sits next to me.

“Can I open it?”

“Of course you can.” I pull off the paper and laugh when I see what it is.

“These aren’t my team.” I laugh.

“Well, if you’re living with me, they are.”

“Thank you, Carter.” I smile holding up my Chicago Bears pyjamas.

“You said the short pyjamas were the most comfortable… These are shorts.”

“How did you get them?”

“I ordered them express last week when you were struggling to find some.” he grins.

“Sneaky.”

“Are you going to wear them?” he asks a little too hopefully.

“Of course I am.”

“Good girl, do you need a hand getting changed or…”

“I’ve got it Carter, can you get me some water and my tablets?”

“On it.” he calls as he walks out of my bedroom and closes the door.

Chicago Bears pyjamas.

Whatever next.

I wake up in darkness and complete silence.

I don’t move.

I just lay there and listen to the nothingness, relishing in it. There are no machines bleeping, no one talking. I inhale and all I smell is the delicious scent of the plug-in Carter put in my room for me.

I’m home.

I’m safe and I’m warm.

I move a little and wince, I might be in pain but I’m alive. I reach out my arm and find my phone so I can see what time it is, 2.09, no wonder it’s pitch black. I need the loo and I know I’ll never make it alone. I do what Carter told me and I call him. I hear it ring in his room and then I hear him get up and stumble towards my room.

“Carm?” he croaks, his voice thick with sleep.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but I need the loo.” I tell him.

“Hey, don’t be sorry, it’s what I’m here for.” he smiles.

I know he smiles, because he switches on the en-suite light and his face is bathed in soft, golden light. He walks over and helps me push the covers off, then leans down and scoops me into his arms. I’m wearing the pyjamas he got me, Chicago Bears shorts and a tank and with Carter just wearing a pair of flannel pyjama bottoms, his very warm, very soft, bare skin is pressed against mine. I’m in pain and I need the loo, but I don’t remember anything ever feeling so good in my life. I could stay wrapped in his arms all day and be the happiest person in the world.

He walks us both into the bathroom and sits me down on the closed toilet seat, he straightens up and looks at me; his face is soft with sleep, his hair is sticking up in all directions and he has the most beautiful smile on his face. He squats down in front of me and for a second I think he’s going to stay in here with me.

“Are you okay? Shall I get your pain meds ready while you… you know… pee?” he smirks.

“Please,” I nod, knowing there is no way I’ll be able to get back to sleep without them. “I also finished my water.”

“I’ll get you some more, anything else?”

“No, thank you.”

“I’ll be back, call if you need anything.”

He stands and walks out, closing the door behind him and leaving me with the vision of his bare back as he leaves. When Carter first suggested he stay in England and look after me, I thought he was crazy, then he found us a place to rent and helped me kit it out with everything we would need to live here. I couldn’t believe he was willing to give up his life to help me, but he did. Now I can’t imagine going through this without him here. I do my business and lean over to wash my hands, a few seconds later, Carter knocks on the door.

“I’m ready.” I tell him.

He opens the door and comes in, scooping me back up into his arms. I snuggle into his warmth and can’t help but inhale him, he always smells so clean, so fresh. Last week, he went for a run and when he came back, I was having a little meltdown, he didn’t hesitate to wrap me in his arms and ask what he could do to make it better. I should have found being hugged by a sweaty man disgusting, but even sweaty he smelled amazing.

“How do you always smell so… nice?”

“Do I always smell nice?” he chuckles, placing me on my bed and sitting next to me.

“Yes. All the time, what’s the secret?”

“I can’t tell you, it’s like the hot chocolate thing…”

“You’re nuts.”

“I know.” he grins.

He picks up my pain killers and hands them to me, then hands me my fresh glass of water. I swallow the tablets and hand him back my glass. He leans over and kisses my forehead then stands up.

“I’ll leave you to sleep, unless you need anything?”

“Don’t leave.”

“If you want me to stay, I’ll stay.”

I lift up the side of the duvet and look at him. He looks at me and I know he isn’t sure what I’m asking of him.

“Climb in, you’ll get cold sitting out there.”

“It’s not cold…”

“Okay, well, I want a hug, in you get.” I grin.

He smiles and walks around my bed, climbing in beside me. When he’s settled next to me, I roll over carefully and snuggle into him, his warmth bringing me instant comfort. We just lay together like that, not speaking for a while. When the pain killers start to kick in and my eyelids droop, he pulls me closer and presses a kiss to the top of my head.

“Sleep, beautiful.”

“Stay.” I whisper to him.

“Okay.” he whispers back.

I fall asleep, more comfortable than I have been in days. I make a mental note to make Carter sleep next to me more often and smile as I drift off to sleep.

Carmen and I slowly create a routine the next few days. She works out how to rest and I work out how to look after her without driving her crazy. Beth and Will visit every day and that’s my time to go out for a run, get groceries or see Mom and Dad. Carmen has insisted I go and do things I want to and not spend every minute of the day with her. I’m avoiding Jack, after bailing out on the day of the game, telling him I didn’t feel good, he’s been texting and phoning and since I still can’t tell him the real reason I missed it, I figure the best thing to do is avoid him.

After that first night, I’ve slept next to her every night too, it makes sense, Carmen is still weak and sore from surgery and in the dark I just worry she’s going to knock into something or fall and I won’t hear her. Lex has been round a few times and sat with Carmen while I’ve been out too, they seem to have gotten really close and chat on the phone every day. She still hasn’t told Megan and Josie about what’s going on, but I hope after her hospital appointment she will. I’m just getting my shoes on when Beth and Will knock on the door. I go to let them in and grin.

“She’s going to kill you.” I laugh as I let them in.

“The place needs brightening up, the others are almost dead too.” Will laughs, bringing the flowers in.

“And the balloon?”

“That was my idea.” Beth chuckles.

“Carter? Can you come help me?” Carmen calls from her room.

“Coming!” I call, heading into her room.

She’s dressed and sitting on her bed looking tired already and it’s only ten-thirty.

“You didn’t sleep last night,” I sigh, sitting next to her. “I’m sleeping on the floor tonight.”

“No, you’re not. I wouldn’t have slept whether you were beside me or not. It’s just really painful at the minute, I think I laid funny the night before and it’s just sore.”

“Your Mom and Dad are here.”

“Can you help me out there?”

I hold my hand out and help her stand, she’s slower today than she has been other days and the pain is clear on her face. We walk slowly into the front room and I know her Mom and Dad notice it too. When she’s comfortable on the sofa I get her water and pain meds and something small to eat.

“I’m okay, Mum.” she tells her.

“You don’t look so good today.”

“I’m tired, that’s all. I didn’t really sleep.”

“Are you going to try and sleep?” her Dad asks.

“These will help, I wont be much company today I don’t think.” she grimaces as she shifts.

“We’ve got books and the TV, don’t worry about us.”

I stay just long enough to know she’s about to fall asleep and won’t need anything before I head out.

“I’m just going to the store to stock up on a few things we need, then I’ll be back.” I whisper to Will.

“Take your time, we’ll phone if we don’t know where something is.”

I nod and kiss Carmen on the head, she smiles and keeps her eyes closed. I get what I need at the store and head back, she’s fast asleep on the sofa and looks peaceful which makes me feel a lot happier. I keep busy, I get lunch ready and I help Beth make a start on dinner. I asked Beth and Will to stay for something to eat with us, Beth only agreed if she was able to cook, she said I’m doing more than enough. So while we peel vegetables, we chat.

“How is she doing at night?” she asks.

“Last night wasn’t good, I don’t think she really slept, every time I woke up she was awake.”

“Do you check on her a lot? You can’t be getting a lot of sleep either.”

“I’m staying in her room with her at the moment,” the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. “Not like that.”

“I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, Carter, I thank God every day she has you with her.”

“I just want her to get better.”

“I know you do… You love her.”

I can’t help but notice, it isn’t a question.

“I do.” I admit, not feeling the slightest bit embarrassed about it.

What do I have to be embarrassed about? Carmen is the most incredible person in the world and she surprises me with her strength every single day. Not only is she the strongest person I know, she’s also the bravest, funniest and kindest. The love she has for all her friends and family is so clear to me, she’s protecting everyone from this and taking it all on, on her own so they don’t hurt. Whether they agree with her choice or not, it’s a courageous one.

“I’m glad, you know. She deserves to have someone who adores her, who treats her like she’s the most precious thing in the world. You do that, Carter and you’re not a couple… yet.” she grins.

“I’m not asking for anything, I don’t want to push her into anything, if she only ever wants to be friends, I’m okay with that.” I lie.

Of course I’m not.

I want her to be mine.

“She loves you too. I can see it. She hasn’t told you, but then, you haven’t told her either…. The time will come, soon I think, when you’ll both tell each other and face it head on, scary as it may be.”

“It’s not scary, loving her isn’t scary. The thought of not being with her is scary.”

“You’re a wonderful man Carter, I hope you know that. Thank you, for everything you’re doing for her. I don’t know another man in the whole world who would do what you’re doing.”

“I don’t know that that’s true.” I shrug, a little uncomfortable.

“I do.” she leans in and kisses my cheek, before heading back to check on Carmen.

Beth and Will have gone and Carmen is lounging on the sofa with a bowl of ice cream watching True Blood. I don’t want to watch it, but I can’t help myself. Every time I look up there’s a naked body on the screen, it’s like porn with a very weird storyline.