Strong Enough (17 page)

M
y hair brushes against my
bare back as I tilt my face up toward the blazing Texas sun. With
my shades down over my eyes and my body oiled with my favorite
summer smell of Hawaiian Tropics tanning oil, I can almost drown
out the high pitched squeals of the coeds splashing around in the
pool. Reaching down I grab my iPhone from the ground and put my
earphones in while I dial in to the mellow sound of Jack Johnson.
Laying back down I find myself softly humming to the beat as I
start to allow my thoughts to wander.

It’s been a few weeks since I last saw
Sterling or Zane. Sterling started calling and texting the next
day. His texts apologized and said he would never hurt me, and it
was all just a big misunderstanding and he begged me to talk to
him. I have not returned the texts or voicemails. I waited about a
week before I went back to the gym. First day there I saw him, but
turned and walked the other way. I am assuming he didn’t follow me
since he was at work. I am assuming he didn’t follow me since he
was at work. I had really enjoyed working with a trainer, so I
talked to the gym manager and he set me up with Brent for training.
So far so good, haven’t had issues and the workouts are effective.
He did ask why I wasn’t working with Sterling and I just said it
wasn’t a good fit anymore. His “humph” was enough for me to hear
him essentially say “you too huh” which made me even more
irritated. I still am shocked Sterling turned out to be the douche
bag that he did. He has tried a few more times to talk to me, but
I’m just not ready. I don’t know that I will be anytime soon.

Brent has actually turned out to be a good
guy. The fact that he’s gay helps a little because I don’t have to
worry about inappropriate talk or him hitting on me. We will chat
while I lift. He doesn’t pry and honestly just listens to what I
have to say. I converse back and ask him about his life and
boyfriend and things that I pick up on that matter to him. We get
along pretty well and he doesn’t cause any negative emotion in
me.

My thoughts shift to Zane. We never
exchanged numbers before so I wouldn’t know how to get ahold of
him, even if I wanted to. That would explain him not attempting to
text or call me. He did show up the next day at my door. He knocked
once, I stood at the door looking out the peephole. His expression
was sullen. I could see he hadn’t slept and to be honest I hadn’t
either. I kept questioning myself. Why did I flip out on him? Why
push him away? Was it the right thing to do? Did I just mess up?
Talking to myself I reaffirmed that I couldn’t allow myself to get
hurt again. Zane may have taken a sledge hammer to my walls, but it
only chipped a brick because the walls are still very much intact.
Watching him outside my door I saw him raise his clenched fist to
knock one more time but he stopped. My hand rested on the door
knob, a part of me wanted to open it and beg him to hold me, to
take my pain away, to kiss me, to center me, to make me forget.
When he paused and didn’t knock, I removed my hand from the door
and watched him walk away, again.

My thoughts continue while I lay in the Texas sun
soaking up the rays and hopefully turning my white skin a nice
golden brown while centering myself with Jack until my sun becomes
blocked. Propping myself up on my elbows I see two muscular legs
standing to my right. As water drips down them forming a puddle, I
scan up to see his hands resting on his hips, bringing focus to
where his board shorts are riding low exposing the beginning of a
very sexy V formed where his abs and hip flexors meet. Water
glistens off his sun tanned abs. My mouth fell open a bit from the
body I am admiring. I continue the trek up his sculpted arms and
shoulders. “Zane?” He’s standing right here, wet from swimming and
all I can do is stare with my mouth open. I knew he was good
looking and you can obviously tell he’s built, but I never expected
him to look like this. His hair is wet and you can see he has run
his fingers through it. He’s looking back at me with a sexy smirk.
A twinge of embarrassment comes over me as I realize he is scanning
my scantily clad body and all it has to offer. I’m feeling a little
overexposed in my two piece Caribbean blue bikini.

“Blue is definitely your color,” he says
lightly licking his lips.
Did he seriously just
lick his lips while looking at me?

“Well hello to you too,” I say with a
chuckle.

“Oh sorry. Hi Reece,” he says, smiling down
at me. “I’m glad I saw you over here, I have wanted to talk to you
but well, I never got your number.”

“You never asked for it.” I said attempting
to flirt.

His expression changed to a more
apprehensive look, he wanted to say something I could tell, but he
didn’t.

“What did you want to talk about Zane?”
Trying to break the awkward silence.

He glances behind him and sees an empty
lounge chair. He reaches down, grabs it and scoots it over close to
me and sits. Elbows on his knees he leans forward, hands clasped
together.

“First I want to make sure you’re okay.” His
brown eyes soulfully searching mine. “I don’t know what happened
that night, but if I did something I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean
to make you uncomfortable or upset you. I would never hurt
you.”

So he thinks he hurt me. I know I did a 180
on him but not sure why he would think he hurt me. “Zane you didn’t
do anything. It’s just me. I tried to tell you that.” Reaching out
I patted the top of his folded hands. “You didn’t hurt me, I did it
to myself,” I said as I pulled my hand back.

“I’m still sorry. I pushed and apparently
pushed too hard. You don’t understand I just….” He trailed off not
completing his thought.

“You just what?” I attempt to ask?

“Nothing, never mind…. So I see you have
been going back to the gym.” He moves to change the subject and I
allow him to for now.

“Yeah I went back to training. I have a new
appreciation for working out. It seems to calm me, and the effects
are nice to see.”

“Training?” He’s shocked by my comment.
“You’re back to working out with that creep Sterling?” His words
are bitter as they come out.

“Oh HELL no! I started working with Brent. I
haven’t even talked to Sterling.”

“Oh, well that’s good.” Relief all over his
face. “I wanted to see if you had plans tonight, I’m having a party
and would really like you to come.”

“Um well, I uh, um, I don’t know Zane. I
don’t know your friends, and as you have seen I am not so great at
social scenes.”

“Come on Reece, it will be fine, you will
have fun. I won’t let anything bad happen, I promise.” Flashing his
toothy grin.

Oh that smile is so hard to resist. “Fine,
fine, I’ll go…” Giving a little smile of my own.

His eyes light up at my acceptance which
puts a fire in my belly, this boy is too much what am I
thinking?

“Familiar with Hunger Night Club?”

“Yeah, I’ve worked the bar there a time or
two, is that where it’s at?” I gulp down the ball of anxiety that
just moved its way up my throat.

“Yep, see you at 9ish?” Standing he pushes
the lounge chair back to the spot he pulled it from and started to
walk away, pausing he turns back and says, “Oh and come ready to
dance…with me.” He then turns and continues to walk away without
waiting for an answer from me.

Holy shit what did I just
get myself into?

Lying back down, I put my headphones back in
and hit play. Listening to the mellow sounds lulls me to sleep in
no time as the warm sun encases me.

My alarm on my phone sounds startling me.
Good thing I set one otherwise I would be one toasted chick
sleeping out in the sun. The clock reads 4:00 pm and I need to be
at the gym at 5:00 so I pack up my stuff and head out the front
gate. Walking to the car I hear the melodic sounds of an acoustic
guitar coming from the park. As if the sound was pulling at my
hand, I turn and head toward the music. I recognize the melody as
it is strummed mixing with a slightly deep, raspy and soulful
voice. Walking around the hedge I see him, sitting on the top of a
bench with his feet on the bench and his guitar resting on one leg
as he plays and sings. His brown hair messy but sexy with his head
bent downward. Keeping the beat with his foot tapping on the bench,
you can feel his expression as his voice rises above the music. I
find myself tapping along as he sings. Watching as he changes
chords and strums. There are a few others standing around listening
to him as he plays, but I seem to be trapped in this web he has
cast out with his voice and it’s pulling me closer.

Even the best fall down
sometimes

Even the wrong words seem to
rhyme

Out of the debt that fills your
mind

You finally find

You and I collide

You finally find

You and I collide

You finally find

You and I collide

As the song comes to a close he looks up and glances
my way giving me an opportunity to see a set of amazing baby blue
eyes matched with the sweetest of smiles. The small crowd that has
gathered around claps softly for him causing his attention to be
drawn away from me. I stand back and watch him interacting with the
small gathering, passing out thank you’s and handshakes. As the
crowd disappears it leaves me, alone, standing and watching him.
Noticing me he walks towards me. Dressed in faded jeans, a light
blue polo and a worn pair of brown work boots he carries himself in
a confident manner. His broad shoulders and arms swing as he walks
giving a peek to a tattoo that’s down his arm. His arms look like
they would be comfy to cuddle up in. He smiles as his approach
shortens and the warmth from his smile is felt in my soul. He’s
handsome with his goatee yet cute at the same time. You can see a
mix of fun and serious with him.

I attempt to stop analyzing him as he stops
in front of me. Again, with a warm sexy smile he nods in my
direction. “Hello.”

“Hi, you’re amazing,” I spurt out without
thinking.

Chuckling, he flashes me a toothy grin that
I swear started to make my panties melt.

“Figured that out already huh and I don’t
even know your name,” he teased back.

“Well what can I say, I know amazing when I
see it, and it’s Reece.”

“Well today is my lucky day then. Nice to
meet you Reece, I am Jonathan, but you can call me Jon.”

Shaking his hand I can feel callouses on the
tips of his fingers as they brush the back of my hand showing his
years of playing.

“I haven’t heard that song sung quite like
that before, it was really beautiful.”

“Thank you, it’s a favorite of mine, simple
lyrics that mean so much.”

I understood what he meant. I use to write
music as a way of just getting the emotion out, reading the words
back I would see such simplicity but remember the turmoil I felt
writing them.

While still holding my hand, he was studying
me as I thought about his words. Realizing this I pulled my hand
back to break the connection.

“So Jon, do you play around here a lot?” I
asked, breaking up the silence.

“Actually no, I just came out here because
it was nice out. I normally play at Derrick’s Pub or Solo’s. I’m
actually playing there tonight, would love to have you come.”

“Really? I would like that, what time?”

“I typically play around 8 or 9, never know
sometimes.”

I realize that I told Zane I would go to
Hunger tonight, and I really want to go even though I’m nervous
too.

“I just remembered I have somewhere to be at
9,” I said sadly.

“Come by before, hang out for a bit, leave
when you need to. I’ll be there around 7.”

Realizing I needed to get to the gym or be
late for my training, I replied, “Ok, yeah I can try and do that,
but I got to go now, I’m going to be late for an appointment. Um,
maybe I’ll see you tonight.”

“Maybe, nice meeting you Reece,” he said
tipping his head down in a nod.

Turning I start to jog toward my car
sticking my hand up in the air with a wave as I say, “Nice to meet
you too.” I round the hedges out of sight.

I almost sprint into the gym to meet Brent. I hate
being late for appointments. I run smack into Sterling and he
reaches out to steady me before I fall on my ass in front of the
whole gym. “Whoa, speedy, where’s the fire?” Lingering a little too
long holding me.

I back away from him, maneuvering out of his
grasp. “Sorry,” was all I said as I turned and headed toward the
girls locker room. I could sense him still standing there looking
at me, but I didn’t have time nor did I want to get into a
conversation with Sterling.

Exiting the locker room I can see Brent on
the weight floor waiting for me. Walking up I can see he has a look
of amusement on his face.

“Hmmm nice entrance there Reece.”
Eyebrowbrow raised mockingly.

“Ha ha Brent, he was the last person I
wanted to “run into” around here, guess that will teach me to look
where I’m running,” I said sarcastically.

“So what had you running? You’re never
late.”

Brent can be so easy to talk to it takes me
off guard and before I know it I tell him things I normally
wouldn’t. I start into my synopsis of my afternoon:

“Well I was laying out at the pool. Zane was there
in all his gorgeousness. He asked me to go to his party tonight at
The Hunger, said I would go, but am nervous to go alone. Was
leaving and heard the most amazing guitar playing and had to check
it out. Found a handsome boy playing a beautiful acoustic guitar in
the park. And his voice Brent, oh my god his voice, singing one of
my favorite songs, it was breathtaking. We meet, he invites me to
listen to him sing. Of course, it’s tonight. Told him I can’t
because I have a prior engagement. He says to stop by tonight
before I go out, and that’s when I realized I was late.”