Strong Enough (15 page)

“Oh no no girl, I just made one in. You get
another question. So my question is have you ever been in
love?”

Now that question came out of the blue and I
am not sure I want to answer it. I don’t like the answer.

“Pick a different question Zane,” I say with
a stone face.

“Sorry, can’t rules are rules. We said any
question and no backing out.” He spits out while crossing his arms
and giving me a
go ahead
nod.

The butterflies I was feeling are gone and
are replaced with pain, bend over want to rip my stomach out pain.
I don’t want to talk about this.

Lie, just lie he won’t
know the difference.
“Fine, yes I was in love once.”
Ok or DON’T lie.

“Once?” He asks with a raised eyebrow.
Damn eyebrow.

“Yes, ONCE. Is that so hard to believe?”
Irritation dripping from my voice.

“Easy killer, I was only asking wasn’t
making any assumptions. Tell ya what, let’s up the stakes on this
game a little. Up for it?”

My apprehension is high, the last question
has me guarded and I don’t know how much more I can take, but I
don’t want to look weak.

“Depends on your stakes….”

“Fair enough, for every shot you make in a
row, you get to ask an additional question. So when I make this in,
that’s two in a row so I get two questions back to back. Up for
it?” He pauses and is waiting for my answer.

Nervous to answer not because I fear I’ll
lose, but because I am seeing he has a straight shot on a corner
pocket which means I will get back to back questions.

“You’re on now shoot.”

Doing just that he easily makes the corner
pocket as I saw it. “Tell me about who you were in love with.”

GREAT.
“What
is there to tell? Girl falls in love with boy, boy is best friend,
boy goes off to military, boy comes back to girl and confesses his
love and then life fucking happened. The end. Ok next
question.”

My hands are gripping the side of my bar
stool so tight my knuckles are turning white. I haven’t talked
about him in so long. Why did I agree to this?

“Hmmm ok, next question, what in life
fucking happened?” He asked slowly, resting the pool stick on the
table assuming this conversation would take a while.

Deep breath in, I sigh letting it out. “I
don’t want to talk about this really can you ask a different
question? Please,” I ask with the deepest plea possible.

I can see him pondering his response by the
expression on his face. He almost looks tormented.

“Ok Reece, I didn’t mean to upset you, I’ll
ask something different.”

Immediately, the tension in my hands
release. I feel as though I just dodged a huge bullet right now,
and I suddenly feel like I need a drink, a really hard straight up
drink. Standing I walk toward the bar passing Zane looking at me
with a confused expression and motion for him to follow me. Meeting
me at the bar “Ok, guess you were thirsty?” He asks. “Actually I
think it’s time for a shot,” I say a little too chipper as I lean
arms folded against the bar. “Ladies choice,” he comments waving
his hand toward the bartender waiting to take our order. “Two Vegas
Bombs the original way please.”

The bartender returns with two shot glasses
filled to the brim and two larger glasses filled halfway with Red
Bull. I pass one of the larger glasses to Zane and motion for him
to pick up one of the filled shot glasses. “Familiar with these?” I
ask, raising the filled shot glass up in the air and holding the
glass of Red Bull in the other. Without answering he drops the shot
in the glass of Red Bull and toasts his glass towards mine which I
quickly drop my shot as well. “Here is to getting to know the Reece
that has been lost,” he says taking the glass to his lips and
downing it. I stand staring at him, the idea of him getting to know
who I have wanted no one to know makes me weak in the knees. I
quickly bring the drink to my lips and finish it off.

“Ok then, I suppose I owe you an answer to a
question so hit me.” Smacking my lips from the taste of the
alcohol.

Nodding up and down. “Yes you sure do, ok
answer this, why don’t you sing anymore?”

I wonder if the stunned look on my face
matches the feeling I have inside. How does he know I use to sing?
“How exactly do you know I use to sing?”

“Ha, the questioned asking the questioner,
hum not sure we addressed that in the rules so I guess I don’t have
an argument. Well, Danny might have mentioned it. And when I heard
you singing earlier I understood. You have a beautiful voice, so
I’m curious why you don’t sing anymore.”

Sitting on a stool at the bar I motion for
the bartender to get me another round. “Well, long story short, I
started singing because my mom was pretty musically talented and
dad lived to put me on stage in front of anyone he could, but after
Dad died, mom went well, fucking crazy basically. She became
someone I didn’t want to be associated with. People knew her for
her singing. She probably could have been a star if she hadn’t
married a military man and given up her dreams. Danny taught me how
to play guitar. I use to sit on my bedroom floor after my dad died
and learned to play and sing all my favorites, but after a few
weeks, I only wanted to play for my own therapy, it brought me
closer to my dad. It just continued from there. Well now I sing in
the shower, on my couch and in my car but you won’t find me on a
stage. Just doesn’t feel like someplace I want to be.” I finished
as I turned around to pick up the second round of Vegas Bombs and
pushed one toward Zane. Lifting the glass in the air motioning for
a toast. “Here’s to things we once did with no intention of
reliving the past.” Zane tilted his head in question and put the
shot down.

“I can’t toast to something like that Reece.
Things from our past can suck but we also have a choice to do them
differently. It doesn’t have to be about reliving the past but
instead about revitalizing something we have enjoyed and continuing
it because it makes us happy.”

“Guess it just doesn’t mean the same thing
to me as it used to,” I said somberly and quickly trying to change
the subject. “Ok so that was question one, now what is your second
question?”

Hesitating at first, I see the worry but he
continues anyway. “What happened to your dad?” Hearing the question
causes my breath to hitch. I haven’t talked about dad’s death with
anyone other than Danny and it’s been years since that has
happened. My dad was my world, and then my world stopped.

I’m looking at the ground trying to catch my
breath. I wonder if he sees how difficult this is for me. “Zane, I
don’t really want to talk about my dad,” I say as even keel as
possible.

“Maybe you need to even if you don’t want
to,” he says with sullen filled eyes as his words hang over my
head. He’s right, I don’t want to, that’s a part of my life that I
have finally moved on from. Reliving it for someone just because
they think they want to know me is bullshit.

“What you think I need to do and what I’m
going to do are two different things Zane. But I will say right now
I need to have another shot, and I’m going to have one. So if you
would like to ask a different question go right ahead,” I stated
with a sarcastic smile.

Tipping my head to the bartender I motion
for another shot. I am feeling the alcohol at this point and I like
the way it feels. I don’t drink often and typically stop at 2
drinks. Being a bartender I see what getting shit faced looks like
and the stupid shit people do, so I try to stay as aware as
possible. But sitting here right now, I want only one thing, to not
feel this anymore.

“Reece, I think you need to slow down, you
have had quite a bit in a short amount of time, and it’s going to
go straight to your head.”

“Back off Zane, I don’t need you telling me
I’ve had enough. You don’t know me. You don’t know what it is
enough or not enough for me and you have no right to make that
judgment call. So you can either have a shot with me and we can get
back to our evening or you can back the fuck off.”

Taking my next shot, I set the glass down.
Looking to my left at Zane the room starts to move with it. He is
standing so close but so far. His eyes are glazed with concern and
anger. I can see he doesn’t know what to say to me but he is not
happy with me.

“Reece your right, I don’t know you, and I
sure as hell am not someone to make the decision about what is
enough for you,” he is reaching into his wallet, “because God knows
as much as I want to know you, as much as I want to be there for
you, you won’t let it happen so why the fuck am I trying.” He
finishes as he throws a wad of cash on the bar. Motioning to the
bartender. “That should cover the tab and whatever else she wants
to drink tonight,” he states, then turns and walks out of the
bar.

I continue to sit at the bar staring at the
door he just walked out of in shock.
What the
fuck just happened?

“Can I get you something else?” The
bartender asks as he takes the empty shot glasses away.

“Yeah shot of Goldschlager.”

Placing the shot in front of me he steps
away. Sitting there I run my finger around the lip of the shot and
think about what Zane said. What does he mean he wants to be there
for me? Wants to know me? Why me?

Motioning for another shot, I try to figure
out what his game is. What does he want to get close then leave me
too? He doesn’t want to know my dark side, hell I don’t want to
know it, I think as I slam back the next shot.

Time flies when you’re getting drunk
apparently. I look at my watch and see that it’s almost 1:00 am and
I am done, I can’t drink anymore. Sliding off my stool it takes me
a second to stable myself on my feet but do it pretty gracefully,
at least I think so. No one seems to realize how drunk I am or they
just don’t care.

Sliding my hands down the front of my clothes to
straighten them out I begin to walk toward the front door.
Carefully putting one foot in front of another and doing my best to
not do the drunk girl wobble.

Passing Mark on the way out, I completely
expect him to stop me, tell me I can’t drive and make me call a
cab. Instead he just nods his head and says have a good morning.
Damn I must be really good at being
drunk
. I smile back and tell him the same.

Pushing open the front door the warm Texas
air feels like a blanket of heat even at 1:00 am. I unlock my car
doors as I approach. Grabbing the car door handle I attempt to
steady myself as I swing open the driver side door only to be met
with two very dark eyes. “Passenger seat…” is all he says.

“A
re you fucking kidding me
right now? Get the hell out of my car you jack ass.”

“Such hostile words from a very drunk girl
who would kill someone if not herself on the road tonight. So like
I said, passenger seat, now.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are? I don’t
have to listen to you.”

Zane steps out of the car, his large frame
brushes up against the front of my chest and my breath hitches from
being so close to him. My hand reaches out to brace myself against
his chest but I stop myself as his hands cup around my shoulders
steadying me. Looking up at him I can see his jaw is clenched tight
and his eyes are narrowed on me, but not with anger, its
frustration. Every bit of me wants to run my hand along the side of
his jaw to feel his intensity. If I didn’t know better I wanted to
ease his tension. But this is me we are talking about, closed off
and shut down Reece, moments of vulnerability are not something I
entertain.

“Don’t touch me, I can take care of myself
thank you much very.”

“Thank you very much….”

“Huh? That’s what I said!”

Laughing a little. “No, you said thank you
much very. I was just correcting you. Now get your beautiful ass in
the passenger seat so I can get you home.”

I start to argue when his words register
with me. Did he just call me beautiful? Or was it just my ass he
was referring to?
Does it really
matter?
Quietly I step back from him and make my way
around the back of my car running my hand along it for stability.
Before I can reach for the door Zane is there ready and opening it
for me. Giving a lopsided smile, I fall into the leather seat and
lay against the head rest closing my eyes to stop the world from
spinning. It’s not working. I can sense Zane is close to me and
he’s getting closer.

Opening my eyes I see him directly in front
of me, and I’m startled. His face mere inches from mine. I can see
the creases along his eyebrows from where they have been pulled
together. His breath lightly caresses my face and lingers under my
nose smelling like sweet mint. My eyes shift to his lips and
imagine how soft they must be. Pink and full with a slight pout
making them completely kissable. I forget to breathe thinking about
tasting his lips. “Click” the sound refocuses me and I glance down
to see Zane’s hand on my seat belt. “Can’t get you home safe
without your seatbelt.” His smile flitting. I slowly and slightly
nod my head in agreement with him while I remain fixed on his.