Authors: Adriana Hunter
We
walked up the steps into the house. Chase led me to the kitchen and I pulled
out one of the stools at the counter.
“You
want a beer?” He turned to me and I nodded. He rummaged around in the
refrigerator, pulling out two longneck bottles.
One
cold bottle appeared in front of me. He wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“I
want to understand what this is between us. No one is happy with this limbo
we’ve ended up in. But I can’t make a decision without some answers.”
“So
it’s come to that, has it? Did Jake tell you that you needed to make a
decision? Him or me?”
He
was more right than he knew, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.
“No
one
makes
me do anything. I’m making a decision for my own sake, Chase.”
With
a nod he drained his beer, setting it next to several other empties on the
counter before grabbing another one from the refrigerator.
This isn’t what I
want here…get control, of yourself and him.
“Chase,
come sit with me on the porch.” I stood, holding out my hand. I twitched my
fingers at him, the same gesture he’d used with me, the one I suspected he used
on temperamental horses.
He
came out slowly from behind the counter, still not meeting my eyes. He took my
hand, leading me out to the porch. We sat on the swing in the dark, watching
fireflies over the meadow for a time, still holding hands. Finally Chase
sighed, blowing out a long breath.
“I’m
sorry for being sharp with you on the phone, Abby. It wasn’t fair, you were
right. But it drives a stake through me to think of you with anyone else, even
if it’s just with Jake, as his submissive.”
He
took a swallow of his beer. His voice was tight when he spoke. “Did you need to
ask permission from Jake to come see me tonight?”
I
frowned at him. “Where did that come from? You know very well I’m not in a
twenty-four seven role with Jake. Are you that jealous?”
“Could
be that I am.” He scraped at the label on his bottle with a thumbnail, lost in
thought for a moment.
“Look,
I know that I owe you an explanation. I just don’t know where to begin.”
I
waited. For what, I wasn’t sure. Reassurance? To be let off the hook by
him telling me that I really didn’t have to explain after all? Whatever I
was searching for in the silence I didn’t get it. He let go of my hand, running
it through his hair.
“I
told you I ran the ranch for a few years before I went to New York, to college.
During that time, there was a girl here, a daughter of one of the ranch hands.
Amanda…Mandy is what we called her. I loved her more than I could stand. I
believed she loved me.”
He
watched a moth circling the porch light. “She could ride a horse better than
anyone I’d ever seen; it was like she just became the horse. There was a fire
in her that I’d never found in anyone else. I’m surprised we didn’t set the
hayloft on fire.” He laughed softly.
“I
have scars from her, real scars. She bit and scratched and tore me up, in more
ways than one. We came together with such force, it was all consuming, for me.
I thought for her. She was all I could think about.” Chase looked down,
worrying the label on the bottle again.
“She
left at the end of that summer. Packed up without a word, was gone before I
knew it. Her daddy said she’d decided, just like that, to go back to live with
her mother in St. Louis.” He paused.
“I
was going to ask her to marry me.”
I
reached out, touching his shoulder. He flinched and I pulled my hand back.
“I
left for New York then, got a job, applied for college. Got accepted for the
following fall. My father was so angry with me; he didn’t speak to me for over
a year. We’d finally gotten things pretty much patched up, but then he and my
mom were killed.”
He
finished his beer, setting the empty bottle on the porch floor.
“College
wasn’t where I belonged either, but I was damned if I would come back here as a
failure. So I stuck it out, managed to get through that first year without
killing myself. Like I said, it was insane. I pretty much tried to drink my way
through most of it. I also discovered all those pretty girls, needing nothing
more than my charming smile to come with me, let me bed them and then send them
on their way. Never saw them again; can’t tell you their names, probably didn’t
ask. It made me feel better, just using them like Mandy used me. But in the
end, there was always this huge whistling hole in my heart.”
He
stretched his arms over his head. “I found the bondage clubs about the same
time I was flunking out of college. There was a great deal of release for me,
in being a dominant. The mental and emotional discipline helped me work through
a lot of the pain.”
The
memory of Chase’s methodical, almost prayerful, way that he used the ropes on
me in the club came back.
“It
helped me focus, helped me get my head out of my ass.” He laughed suddenly, startling
me.
“And
it’s sure the hell a great way to have sex with women, with no strings
attached. You know that, or you did until Jake overstepped his boundaries.”
I
flinched in the dark, the swing jumping erratically.
“So
he did break his rules.” I heard Chase’s laughter again, darker this time.
“Jake
shouldn’t be a dominant. He’s not cut out for the role. He doesn’t have the
strength for it or the discipline.”
Anger
flared instantly. “You don’t know what my relationship with Jake is like. You
have no call to comment.”
“I
struck a nerve, I guess.” Chase shifted on the swing, setting it to rock in a
sickening arc.
“You’re
right, I don’t know about your relationship, but I do know about his previous
one. It was a failure, the girl disappeared. It wasn’t pretty, from what I
understand.”
“You
knew Jane?” I remembered Jake had said she’d taken him to Chase’s club.
“I
didn’t, but Stacy did. They worked at the same club. She said Jane talked
incessantly about Jake, his shortcomings, his brutality, how he abused her
rather than being a true Dom who is all in control at all times.”
I
drew a sharp breath. “That’s not true. That’s now how it happened. Jake told me
the whole story.”
I
could feel Chase’s eyes on me in the soft dark. “I’m sure he told you his side
of the story, by his lights. You know the saying. There’s three sides to every
story: his, hers, and the truth.”
“Jake’s
not like that, not at all.” My voice was shaking with anger. “You can’t know
the truth.”
“Darling,
you can’t either. You can only know what he’s told you.” He spread his hands.
“I can only know what I’ve been told. You’ll have to make up your own mind
about him.
“But
I can tell you, from seeing him at the club, my first impressions are usually
pretty damn accurate. He’s not cut out to be a dominant. You’re going to be the
one getting hurt here and I don’t want that.”
My
anger boiled over. I got off the swing, kicking over Chase’s beer bottle,
sending it spinning across the floorboards of the porch.
“You
don’t need to look out for me. I can do that myself.” I was breathing hard, my
voice rough, fists balled at my sides.
Chase
stood, crossing the short distance between us. His hands were on my shoulders,
fingers digging into my skin. I twisted against him, but he only held me
harder.
“Abby,
you’re the most important thing in my life right now. If you got hurt and I
could have stopped it, I couldn’t live with myself.”
I
wanted to spit at him. “You’re just jealous. You want something someone else
has, like a possession, like your horses…your damn fillies. It’s not me that
you want. You just want what belongs to Jake.”
Chase’s
face was inches from mine, his breath hot on my cheeks.
“I
want you because I love you, Abby.”
Chase
lowered his head, his mouth seeking mine. I twisted my head, trying to avoid his
kiss, but he found my lips anyway.
And
in that instant, I was lost. I stopped struggling against him, instead throwing
my body against his. He let go of my shoulders and my arms were around his
neck, my fingers in his hair, pulling him to me.
I
wasn’t looking for the truth anymore; this was for me now. I wanted Chase,
urgently, on some deep level that I didn’t really understand, didn’t want to
understand. I only had need and desire.
His
lips raked over my mouth, his hands holding me against the length of him. We
were locked in this grip for what seemed like an eternity, my body instantly
heated and aching for release.
Chase
broke away, scooping me up in his arms. The screen door slammed against the
side of the house, almost torn from its hinges as we went into the house. He
turned down the narrow hallway, pushing a door open with his shoulder.
He
set me on my feet, my body sliding down his, every inch of me wanting contact
with him. There was an instant where I could have run, the fleeting image of Jake
in my mind, but it was gone in a heartbeat, consumed in the passion and lust
that ran through my veins.
My
fingers tore at Chase’s t-shirt, pulling the hem from his jeans, sliding my
hand beneath, over his flat stomach. He pulled the shirt over his head, tossing
it in the corner and my hands moved higher, over the broad expanse of his
chest, my mouth descending on his hard dark nipples, biting and sucking.
Chase’s
hands were searching for the buttons on my shirt, finally just tugging it over
my head. I felt his hands at my breasts, and there was no hope for the bra this
time. It came away in two pieces in his hands, dropped unceremoniously to the
floor.
We
broke apart briefly, struggling with zippers and snaps and buttons on jeans.
Chase yanked mine down my legs, my panties carried along.
I
reached greedily for Chase’s erection, peeling back his jeans, my hands wrapped
around the shaft of his cock. I met his eyes, hot and intense, his lips pulled
back in a feral smile that would have scared me had I not matched the one I
knew was on my own face.
He
had my breasts in his hands, palming my hard nipples, making me arch against
him. I let go of his cock, sliding my hands up his body, pulling his face down.
My mouth found his, lips and tongue and teeth teasing, prodding, biting,
unrestrained.
Chase’s
hands moved down my back, cupping my ass, pulling me hard against his body, his
erection rubbing against my stomach.
In
one swift movement, Chase picked me up, tipping me across the bed, my legs
wrapping instinctively around his waist as he stood between them. He leaned
forward, brought his mouth down on mine again, his hands planted on either side
of my face, his fingers tangling in my hair. His kiss was brutal, lips grinding
against mine, bruising them against my teeth.
His
cock brushed against my body, up my thighs, tantalizingly close. Chase stood up
then, pulling me by the hips to the very edge of the bed, bracing his knees
against the mattress.
I
looked up at him in the dim light spilling in from the open door behind him.
His face was in cast in shadow but his eyes caught the light, boring down on me
with an intensity that only made the fire inside me burn hotter.
“Oh,
Chase!” I stretched my arms up, reaching for him, aching to feel his body
against mine, to feel him inside me.
He
drove himself into me with a hoarse cry, his body slamming into me, pushing me
up the bed. His fingers dug into my hips, pulling me back to the edge of the
bed, denying me the chance to hold him, to be crushed by his body.
“I
want to watch you.” Each word was accompanied by a thrust of his cock into my
body.
“I
want to see you while I’m inside of you, Abby.”
I
flung my arms over my head, letting him take me on his wild ride. He grabbed my
legs, pulling them up his body, my heels resting on his shoulders, fingers
caressing then pinching the insides of my thighs.
It
was hard and fast, Chase taking no prisoners. The breath tore from his throat,
his face contorted in a grimace that could have been as much pain as pleasure.
There was no other sound from him but his harsh breathing.
My
own body rocketed toward some dizzying peak. I pulled against Chase with my
legs, arching my back, twisting myself against his body, his hands beneath my
ass now, his fingers in my flesh.
When
I came it was with terrific speed, my hands pulling the covers loose, my body
arching up against Chase. He kept up his frantic pace, his eyes never leaving
me as I flung myself against him, against the bed, every muscle taut. I felt
him inside me, my body contracting around his cock, feeling every contour as I
jerked and moaned beneath his hot gaze.
Only
then, when I was on the downhill slide of my orgasm, my body fluid and
yielding, did he lower himself to me, letting me wrap leaden arms around his
neck, finally letting me kiss him.
He
tore his mouth away; his final deep thrust into me accompanied by a sound of
release…conquest. Buried in me, he shuddered violently, his hips grinding
against me, the familiar flooding warmth of his orgasm filling me.