Strife: Hidden Book Four (7 page)

“Why?”

“It never works out well in the end.”

I just watched her, and she shook her head. “You’re not a naive woman, from what I hear. You know how they all see us. Parasites. Bloodsuckers. There isn’t a being alive who trusts us, because everyone believes that the second they let their guard down, we’re going to drain them or turn them. You know it’s true.”

I didn’t deny it. Couldn’t. I’d called vampires the same things, more than once.

“I think you and your people are doing a good job of starting to dispel some of those notions. You’ve done a great job of getting rogue vampires off the street, and it’s saved me a ton of work.”

She nodded. “It’s easier for us to deal with our kind. We understand them better, even the ones that are beyond reason.”

“The ones that are beyond reason are always the worst ones for us to track down.”

“That’s because there’s often no logic to their actions. Our ability to track one another makes it easier for us than it would be for you, even as powerful as you are.”

“Well, as I said I appreciate it. There is another danger out there, and I think you should know about it whether you agree to work with us or not.”

She nodded. “Please, sit. Can we get you anything?”

“No thanks.” I settled myself onto one of the sofas, and she sat on the one opposite me, on the other side of the coffee table. She was watching me intently, and I could see it for what it was. She was trying to learn more about me, as both a possible ally and as a possible threat. It’s nothing personal. I was doing the same thing. Examining her power level, watching her face, monitoring her emotions for signs of threat or deceit. “So, I mentioned to Ronan when I arrived that things are getting worse, and I asked if you’d noticed, and he said you had.”

She nodded.

“I know what’s causing it. I know why.” I paused. “How much has Shanti told you about me?”

“Hardly anything at all, other than that you’re scary powerful and that she adores you. That you saved her life and if it ever came to choosing between serving you or serving me, there was no question where her loyalties would be.”

I smiled. “She’s very straightforward.”

Rayna laughed. “That she is. It’s refreshing to deal with someone like her.”

I nodded. “Okay.” I took a breath. “How much do you know about Greek mythology?”

She was watching me closely. “Why?”

I shook my head and started talking, giving her the very, very abbreviated version of what I was and why we were having so much trouble lately. I told her what Strife looks like, what it looks like when she has someone under her influence. I told her where we were seeing the most trouble, and that finding her was my number one priority, and that I hoped she’d help as much as she could.

She sat in silence for several long moments after I stopped talking. “And this being, Strife, can she be killed?”

“As far as we know, she can. She is extremely powerful, so I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s probably going to have to be me or someone else in my family. Have you seen signs of her?”

She nodded. “Seven and Kelly, as you say. East English Village, too. I’d do some checking there, because we’ve had a few vampires out of control in that area, and now that you’re telling me this, they were exhibiting similar behaviors to what you’ve seen. Acting very much not like themselves.”

“I will check it out. Thank you.”

She took a deep breath, and I felt worry, mixed with determination from her. “As for the rest. I apologize, but I am going to have to stick to my guns on this one. We avoid others for a reason. And now you’re talking about things like gods and spirits and I have enough on my plate without contributing my people to a fight that has nothing to do with us.”

“You just said Strife has affected some of your people as well. She’s targeting supernaturals, knowing how much damage and chaos we can cause. I’m pretty sure that should concern you.”

“And I will handle my people my way. I do not need to involve them in your teams and coalitions. The shifters are fine with taking orders and teaming up. We don’t do that, and I told you why earlier.”

I clamped my jaw down to prevent something stupid from popping out of my mouth. I wanted to threaten. I considered trying to make her do what I wanted. But even I know that’s the kind of thing that can come back and bite you in the ass when you least expect it.

“I think that’s a short-sighted view of things, but that’s just me,” I said, standing up. “Thank you for your time, as well as for sharing that information about East English Village.”

She stood up as well. “Thank you for understanding.”

“Oh, I don’t. I think you’re making a mistake. I just hope your people don’t suffer for it.”

I felt anger wash over me, and her posture changed. “Is that a threat, Angel?”

I met her eyes. “I don’t make threats, your majesty. Ask anyone.”

And I headed toward the door, where Ronan was waiting just outside. I knew he’d heard every word. Vampire hearing. He escorted me wordlessly to the door, opened it for me.

“If I see anything, I’ll have Shanti relay the information to you,” he said quietly as I stepped past him.

“Your queen is not going to be happy about that, Ronan,” I warned.

“Maybe not. That’s my problem. Not yours.”

I gave him a terse nod and headed to my car. Dahael unlocked the door from the inside and I climbed in and started the engine.

“Well, that was frustrating,” I said as I drove down the driveway.

“Vampires,” Bash said.

“Vampires,” I agreed as I steered the car toward home, looking forward to a hot bath, coffee, and maybe a movie.

I walked into my house, sighing in relief and tossed my car keys onto the kitchen counter. The house was mercifully silent. Levitt and Heph were out on patrol, and E was asleep, having done the morning patrol with some of the shifters earlier that day. I considered eating, started rooting through the cabinets. Nothing looked good.

I heard a car pull up in the driveway, and I closed my eyes and focused. And then I suppressed a groan. Brennan.

I walked through the house and out onto the porch. I watched as he got out of his car and headed up toward the porch. He stood on the front walk, and I stood up on the porch, and we watched one another.

“I know I’m not supposed to be here,” he finally said. “But I needed to see you.”

“Why?”

“We can’t leave things the way they ended yesterday, Molly,” he said, and I nodded. I sat on the top step and he came and sat down next to me. Close, but not touching. Not the way we would have sat, what felt like lifetimes ago.

I waited for him to talk. He was clasping his hands in front of him, his forearms resting on his knees. He looked over at me, met my eyes.

“I was mad yesterday,” he said.

“I know,” I said, and he smiled a little.

“You’re a hard woman to let go of.”

I felt like I was about to cry already, and he’d barely even started.

“But we both know it’s time. It’s past time. I was just determined to hold on to you, to try to fix things between us. But at some point you have to be able to recognize when something’s broken beyond repair.”

I wiped the tears away from my eyes. “It’s not because of Sean,” I said. “I would have stayed. We would have worked it out. It’s because I’m so messed up now, I barely even know who I am anymore.”

He shook his head. “We would have tried. We wouldn’t have made it, honey. What I said yesterday about needing someone who needs me was the truth. I want to take care of someone. I want to feel needed. And maybe that’s my gigantic male ego, but that’s what makes me happy. Maybe it’s a shifter thing. My dad was the same way. And my mom was a powerful woman, but she needed him. They needed each other, and it just worked. We never had that. I tried to believe we did, but every time you ran off into danger, I realized we didn’t.”

I looked down. “You’re an amazing man, Bren.”

“You’re an amazing woman. But we’re not right for one another. The harder I try to hold on to you, the bigger of an asshole I become. I started our relationship competing with Nain. I tried to make myself into the man I thought you wanted. I tried to give you everything he didn’t. But the fact of the matter is, you don’t want that, and I just kept crossing further and further into ‘dude, you are pathetic’ territory. I don’t want you to hate me. And I have some growing up to do, I think.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for me to hate you,” I said. Then I met his eyes. “You got me through some of the worst times of my life, Brennan. Thinking of you gave me the courage to fight my way back from death, over and over again.”

He took a deep breath, looked away from me, and I could feel that he was trying to get his emotions under control. “I’m glad. And I’m grateful for what we had. But we need to be honest about some things here.”

“Such as?”

He smiled a little. “You kept a lot of yourself from me, and I kept just as much from you. There was so much I wanted to tell you, and I never did it. I was a coward. And there were other things, too. I was desperate to hold on to you and made an ass of myself. And we jumped into something neither of us was ready for. What was the last thing we argued about, the night before you died?”

I just watched him. I remembered. Just didn’t want to answer.

“We argued because you were still wearing your wedding ring. We argued because you wouldn’t let anyone touch Nain’s room, and I asked if we were keeping it a shrine.”

I nodded, looked away.

“And then that last day, I took off before you woke up, because I knew you well enough to know you didn’t want any part of me, not on the anniversary of his death. Not when we both knew that, all things being equal, when you had the chance to choose, you chose him. He was what you wanted and he was gone. And then you were gone and he was back,” he said, shaking his head.

“I am so sorry I hurt you, Bren. I never wanted to,” I said.

He faced me, took my hands in his, and the feel of his warm skin against mine did it. I lost it, started crying. The finality of it all hit me, and I couldn’t hold it back any more.

“Don’t do that,” he said. “You know I hate seeing you upset.”

I laughed a little, tried to calm down.

We sat there, our hands clasped. The thing inside me raged, and I hated it a little more.

“You are an amazing, brave, giving woman. And the fact that you loved me isn’t something I take lightly. It’s impossible for me not to love you. I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I am here. I will always be here, and if you ever need me, I’ll come. But this part of our life together is over. Isn’t it?”

I nodded, even as my heart broke. It had been over for a long time, and part of the reason I’d avoided him, aside from the thing inside me, was because I didn’t want to deal with that. But that was selfish, too. He needed to move on, and he couldn’t if he still thought I was hanging on to him.

I squeezed his hands. “You’re the best, Bren. Thank you for being mine, even for a little while,” I said and the tears started flowing again.

“Oh, hell,” he said. He let got of my hands and pulled me into his arms, and we held each other for a few minutes. I breathed him in, knowing this was the end.

“You should go,” I said after a few minutes, pulling away from him. “I need some time here.”

He cupped my face in his hands and kissed my forehead. “Take care of yourself,” he murmured before he pulled away.

“You too.”

And then I watched as he got into his car and drove away. I sat on the porch for a long time afterward, thinking. I was sad, but I was relieved, too. We didn’t hate each other. I wasn’t naive. Things would be awkward for a while. Someday, maybe we’d get to a comfortable place again.

Eventually I got up and went inside. I locked up and went up to my room after calling good night to Bash and Dahael, who were watching some classic Bugs Bunny cartoon. Once I got there, I didn’t even bother showering or changing. I fell onto my bed and stared at the celling, wondering what I could possibly mess up next.

Chapter Four

Everything was darkness and emptiness. Silence and cold. There was not a thing here worth saving.

Certainly, nothing worth breaking an oath for.

This city was a glorified trash heap, and the people in it no better, deserving of the place they called home.

I rise over the city. Block after block of emptiness, the stench of exhaust and fast food filling the air. I watch as Detroit’s East Side disappears beneath me. I am flying so fast everything is a blur, places I know and love almost unrecognizable from this height and speed. I see it all through a haze and it leaves me feeling both confused and nauseous. I am afraid, and I don’t know why.

I stop still in the air, and through the haze, I see a neighborhood not unlike my own: mostly empty, except for a sad looking house or two. It is off of a busier street, and storefronts line that, mostly abandoned as well. I feel myself hurtling toward it, feel disdain, disgust. Not my own. The darkness has made its opinion known, and it has nothing but hatred for the city I call home.