Strife: Hidden Book Four (24 page)

I stared at her. “You almost just died, Shanti. I can’t die. There’s no risk to me if I rush in to save someone.”

“I’m pretty damn hard to kill too. And you can still be hurt and tortured and all that. So don’t pretend there’s no danger for you.”

“It’s not the same,” I said, looking out the window at the passing landscape. Shanti had even more of a lead foot than I did.

“No. It’s not. You have a hell of a lot more at stake than I do. If you get captured or whatever, look at how many people will suffer. Look at the way things fell apart when you died last time. And the only thing that’s ever mattered to you is keeping everyone safe. We lose you, and none of us are safe.”

“Thanks. I needed that additional pressure, kiddo,” I said, and she laughed.

“You know what I’m saying. You blame yourself for every single person you can’t save. That’s worse than death, as far as you’re concerned, and that’s why you still risk everything when you go out and save someone, even if it means you’ll live.”

A thought kept coming through as she was talking, the same thing I’d heard from her before. Zero.

“Can I ask you something unrelated to this?” I asked her, and she glanced at me.

“Sure.”

“Who’s Zero? That name comes through fairly often when I’m talking to you.”

She glanced at me again. Uncomfortable. Embarrassed. If she could have blushed, she would have been.

“Oh. He’s this guy I know,” she said, and the emotions coming from her let me know exactly how she felt about this guy.

I smiled. “Is he a vampire?”

“No. Normal. Which is why I haven’t talked about him a lot. I kind of figure that the fewer people who know about him the better. And I don’t want to get into it with Levitt and I’m kind of thinking you’re about to tell me how stupid it is to put a Normal in danger by being involved with him.”

I laughed. “I am not going to tell you that. You’re a grown woman and you know the risks and I have no doubt you’re doing what you can to keep him safe. I can put an imp or two on him if you want, just for an added bit of protection.”

“Are they gonna report back to you with details about us?”

I shook my head. “No. I don’t want to know.”

“Good. Thank you then.”

“Anytime.”

We drove in silence for a few minutes. “How did you know something happened to me?” Shanti asked after a while.

“Strife called to taunt me about it,” I said, just the memory of her smug voice enough to make me want to destroy something.

“Shit. So it was her people?”

I nodded. Clenched my hands in my lap.

“Calm down. Don’t get all ragey now,” Shanti said.

“I know. I need to find this bitch. She’s spent too much time taunting me. And this was a sign that she’s getting braver, coming at my own people. She’s getting stronger, because all the chaos and fighting going on now is adding to her power.”

“Well maybe she’ll get cocky then. That’s when people tend to make mistakes,” Shanti said. She pulled into the parking garage under the loft and we got out of the car.

“Yeah, but who else is she going to hurt before I can get to her?” I asked. “This has to stop, and we still have no goddamn sign of her. How can she be hiding so well? The imps can’t even get a read on her, and that’s never happened.”

We got into the elevator and Shanti reached over and took my hand. “We’ll find her, Molly. And we’ll all just have to be more careful in the meantime. Right?”

I nodded, took another deep breath. I took a moment to see who I could sense in the loft. It felt like our team was all there.

“You have a welcome wagon. I think I feel Rayna and Ronan up there,” I said with some surprise.

“They are very protective of their people. She’s probably not happy at all right now,” Shanti said. The elevator stopped and we walked into the loft. The first few minutes of our arrival were taken up by just about everyone hugging Shanti and expressing varying degrees of “we’re gonna kick their asses.” Relief and love flowed through the loft, and I had to smile a little as I stood back and watched. Nain came over to me and wrapped me in his arms, and I rested my face against his chest, needing him. Needing the calm that only he could bring me. I put my arms around his waist and hid my face and just breathed.

“We can go somewhere else if you need to,” he said quietly and I shook my head.

“I want to talk to Rayna first,” I said, and he squeezed me to him for a moment, then let me go. I looked up at him, and our eyes met.

It amazed me how much this angry, powerful man could soothe me.

Thanks
, I thought at him and then I started to walk away.

I’d give you a hell of a lot more if you needed it,
he thought at me, and I shook my head. The bad thing (or was it maybe not such a bad thing?) was that all I really wanted to do was stay in his arms and let myself relax. But I had things to do. Rayna and Ronan were talking to Shanti in one corner of the loft, and the rest of the team had started to disperse once they’d seen her. Levitt, Heph, and E left for patrol. Brennan took Sean up to their rooms, and Ada and Stone headed to their room, tired after having been up early with Sean.

Rayna and Ronan both turned and looked at me.

“I’m going to go get cleaned up,” Shanti said. “And then I think I’m going to sleep. The rush your blood gave me is starting to fade a little.”

I nodded and hugged her. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I said against her hair, and she squeezed me harder.

“Of course I am. Sometimes prayers get answered,” she said, smiling. The four of us (Rayna, Ronan, Nain, and I) watched her climb the stairs to her room. Then I glanced at Rayna, who was watching me.

“That kind of attack cannot stand,” Rayna snarled, and I felt the anger rolling off of her. One of her family had been attacked. And she genuinely liked Shanti.

“It won’t,” I said, turning and heading toward the couch. Nain sat beside me and Rayna and Ronan each took one of the chairs. “This was Strife. She called and taunted me with Shanti’s death.”

“How did you find her?” Ronan asked. “We started scouring the city the second I got off the phone with Nain.”

“I know the route she takes from your place to the loft. I started with that, and my father joined me. We found her car in an alley and started looking around there.” I filled them in on the details of the attack, of Hades healing her.

When I’d described Shanti’s wounds, I felt rage rolling off of both of them. They both wanted a piece of Strife. I could feel that very clearly.

“We’re in,” Rayna said. “We’ll work with you. We will avenge this attack on one of our own. This will be paid for in blood.”

Ronan nodded, determined. I felt shock from Nain.

I nodded back at Rayna. “I agree. And it will be repaid. We’re very pleased to join forces with you.”

We spent about an hour filling Rayna in on what we knew about Strife and her team. Brought her up to date on the attacks, including the way we’d been ambushed. She and Ronan both listened intently, Ronan asking questions every once in a while. We discussed how we’d coordinate our teams. By the time they left, it was clear that our group of allies had grown in size and deadliness.

That could only be a good thing.

Chapter Fifteen

Once Rayna and Ronan were gone, I was about ready to fall over, but I also knew I was too wired to sleep. Nain went into his office to talk to Jones to fill him in on everything that had happened, and I went to our room and stepped into the shower.

I was alone, and I wanted to cry, wanted to let out all of the emotions the night had caused. But I knew I couldn’t do that. I didn’t have the luxury of letting myself feel everything, of letting myself rage against it. Nether had been fighting me all evening, and it had been a constant battle to keep control.

I stood under the searing hot water and scrubbed myself much harder than I needed to, my stress only feeding my already-insane habit of trying to get rid of filth that wasn’t there. Nether raged, and soon the stress of trying to fight her back exhausted me, and I fell to my knees in the shower.

The water rained down over me and I pressed my face up against the tiles, gritted my teeth, fighting her for control.

So weak, little Fury. Just give in. You have no hope of controlling me forever,
she hissed at me. I shook my head, focused harder. I was trembling.

I just grow stronger,
Nether taunted.
Your time is limited, godling. And you will pay for every moment you’ve imprisoned me.

I groaned at the effort of trying to keep her in control. My head was pounding, aching, and I whimpered and gripped my head with my hands.

I stayed that way, trying to fight her down, trying to keep in control. I felt myself starting to black out a time or two, and fought harder. The water went from searing to ice cold by the time I felt able to stand again. This had been her worst assault on me, her strongest attempt to take control, and she’d been so close.

This wasn’t a battle I could keep winning.

When I was able to stand again, I stood up and turned the water off, and I tossed on some jeans and a top. Nain wasn’t in the room, and there was no way in hell I was going to let myself fall asleep now without him nearby.

I went out into the living room, which was deserted. There was a lamp on in one corner, but other than that it was dark. I went into the kitchen and made myself eat a banana. It tasted like sawdust.

Nain wasn’t in his office, and I wondered where he’d gone. I heard a door open upstairs, and glanced up. E was coming out of the room she was sharing with Shanti. She came down the stairs and smiled when she saw me.

“You should be resting, demon girl,” she said, coming over to me and giving me a hug. I hugged her back, and we stood there. I felt tears come to my eyes, held back a sob, everything that had happened that night hitting me as I stood in my friend’s arms.

She hugged me tighter, and I felt her cool hands smoothing my hair. “It’s all right, my friend. It’s okay.”

I tried to stop my sobs.

“Let it out, Mollis. I’m here. The demon is here. You can’t hold all of this inside.”

I didn’t think I could hold it in if I tried, so I didn’t. I let it out, and E kept smoothing my hair, whispering that it was okay, that I’d saved Shanti, that everything would be all right.

When I was able to pull myself together, I pulled back from her. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you, you know that?”

She grinned. “Believe me, I know. I’m irreplaceable.”

“You are.”

“Come on. I am in need of hot chocolate and many marshmallows.”

I laughed and followed her into the kitchen. She stood at the stove, mixing up some hot cocoa, and I sat on one of the stools, watching her.

E finished making the cocoa and poured it into two of the large mugs from the cabinet above the coffee maker. She held up the bag of marshmallows and I made a face, shook my head.

“You really are a barbarian. How can one drink hot cocoa without marshmallows?” she asked, setting my mug in front of me. I laughed. She took the stool next to mine, and we sat, waiting for the cocoa to cool.

“Other than death and chaos and all of that, how are things, Mollis?” she asked quietly.

I watched her. “Things are… weirdly good. I guess. Having Nain back in my life is confusing and awesome and maddening and just everything, all at once.”

She sat in silence for a few minutes, seemed a little like she wanted to say something. She kept starting, then stopping.

“What’s up, E?” I asked, and she gave a small smile.

“I am sorry for what happened between the demon and I. I didn’t know him when you two were together, and the only one I ever knew you with was Brennan. I watched you mourn the demon, but I never got to see the other side.”

“What side is that?”

She smiled again. “The way you work together like a matched pair, like two beings whose hearts beat in time to one another. The way you are both aware of one another without even knowing you are paying attention. The love in his eyes every single time he looks at you.” She paused again. “If I’d known all of that, I never would have come on to him the way I did.”

I hid a smile. “You came on to him? Really?”

She nodded. “We broke up a fight together, and you know how very attractive he is when he’s all demon ragey.”

I laughed. “Yeah. I do.”

“And we got home, and I just sort of blurted out that I’d never been with a man and I wanted him to show me what I was missing. Except that I said it so fast I had to repeat it at least three more times before he understood what I was saying.”

I laughed, and then I laughed harder, envisioning E asking Nain to take her.

“And you convinced him, I guess?” I asked.

“I made it clear I just wanted to see what sex was like. He was having sex with anyone who’d look at him at the time. I think he thought I’d be offended if he turned me down when he’d been with so many others.” She paused, met my eyes. “And I think, maybe, I reminded him of you. Creature of the Nether, glowing eyes, short and thin. All of that. When it was over, he thanked me, and he was sweet, but he looked like he was a million miles away. Likely, wherever you were.” She paused. “He stopped sleeping with other women after that night.”