Strife: Hidden Book Four (19 page)

And then he lowered his head the rest of the way, closing the distance between us, and his lips claimed mine. He held me tight to him, kissed me as if I was air and he’d been suffocating without me. I put my hands on his wide shoulders, trying to find something to hold on to, trying to get a grip because I was slowly but surely feeling myself falling all over again for this demon who wanted every part of me. Even my darkness. Even my screw-ups. He wanted me. All of me.

I kissed him back, bit his lower lip the way he’d always liked, and he rewarded me with a  low growl, a deeper, harder kiss, his hands roaming, refamiliarizing themselves with what had once been his, squeezing my waist, my ass, as he ran his hands down my body.

Nether was silent. On top of everything else, he had the power to make her shut the hell up for even a little while. He brought his hands up to my hair, pulled my head back, forced me to look up at him. “I need you, Molly,” he growled. “I’m out of my mind with it. Come back to me.”

I met his eyes. My stomach twisted, and I found myself clenching my thighs together, my stupid body betraying me, just as it always had around him. He could have done it. He could have had me right then and there, and I would have given him whatever he wanted. We both knew it.

I let out a small laugh, still breathless, my body still trembling, still needy from being in his arms. “Haven’t we had enough disasters in the past day or so?”

“We’re creatures of the Nether. We thrive on disaster,” he said. ”Tell me you don’t want us as much as I do.”

I should have. Should have told him I didn’t want him anymore, that I didn’t still feel every cell in my body exalting when he was near, that I didn’t dream about him at night. That the sight of my ring on his finger had satisfied a possessive streak I didn’t know I had. So I said nothing.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought,” he said. He held my gaze for just a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. And then he lowered his lips to mine again and kissed me once, hard, before backing off and heading into the kitchen.

I took a deep breath, shook my head, trying to center myself. I grabbed my box and followed him. We went through the kitchen cabinets in silence, both of us adding items to our boxes. The plastic shit had all melted with the heat, but some of the older, sturdier stuff, the FireKing and jadeite, had held up all right. We finished grabbing what was salvageable, working mostly in silence, then we carried the boxes to his truck. We walked through my yard, up and down my block, looking for Strife’s mark.

The area immediately around my house was a mess, trampled by the fire fighters who had apparently showed up not long after we’d left. I checked out the closest trees and my garage for Strife’s mark. When I didn’t find anything, I started looking for signs in the other adjoining lots, and Nain went off in the opposite direction.

In the end, I checked every tree between my house and the corner, as well as what was left of the burned out house on the corner, and didn’t come up with anything. I took my time even though I was pretty sure I wouldn’t find anything once I got away from the area immediately surrounding my house. Strife wasn’t subtle. If her people had left a mark, it would have been near what was left of my house.

What the hell had I just done in there? I chided myself. This was Nain, for god’s sake. The man who’d destroyed me. Lied to me. The man I’d sworn was wrong for me in every way once I had some time and distance from him. And now what were we doing? Starting down the same road again with one another. The problem was that I’d already seen the end of that road and I couldn’t go there again.

Stupid. So stupid. He’s bad for me. Not because he’d ever hurt me (unless he felt like it would save me somehow. Bastard.) but because when he’s in my life, all I want is him. There is no halfway, nothing casual about Nain and I when we’re together.

And on top of all of that, Nether was starting to push at my defenses again. “Calm down, bitch,” I muttered, and it only made her start pushing harder, trying to find a weakness, trying to overpower me.

I took a deep breath, trying to ignore the insane immortal imprisoned inside me, and started walking back toward my house.

Nain was already waiting when I got there, leaning up against the side of his truck watching me.

He opened my door for me, and I climbed in. Then he climbed in his side and slammed the truck door closed behind him. “It had to be her. This shit isn’t random.”

I was grateful he was being professional again. Maybe he was realizing how stupid we’d just been, too.

“She would have left her mark. She likes that, especially here. Taunting me is her thing, right?”

He was silent. “Who else is pissed off at you?”

“Who isn’t?”

I felt a little bit of humor from him. “Try to narrow it down a little.”

“Strife, obviously. More than a few of the immortals. Probably a few I wouldn’t think of.”

“Because you forced them to listen to you,” he said, and I nodded.

“Could just be any of the assholes we typically deal with, except that my mom would have caught up with one of them, I think.”

He nodded. “Had to be an immortal, right? Able to do that thing where they disappear.”

“I think that makes the most sense.”

“Okay. So Strife. Zeus and Hera don’t like you much, you said.”

“Right. Apollo’s not fond of me. Artemis likes me but I don’t know how much Brennan and I breaking up affected her opinion of me.”

“Aphrodite,” he said.

“Right.”

“That’s mostly because of Heph, though.” He was silent a minute “Did anything ever happen between the two of you? That’s part of why she hates you.”

“No. He’s my friend, and he’s not interested in me that way.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yes. That’s the last thing on his mind. He’s been fucked over by Aphrodite so much he has zero interest in relationships or anything else. I can relate.”

“Meaning?” he said, with a little growl in his voice.

“Meaning you can only take so much bullshit before you realize that none of it is worth it and you’re better off on your own.”

“You sure didn’t feel like you didn’t think it was worth it in your house just now.”

“We’re not talking about us.”

“I agree.” And then he reached over and pulled me close again, and his mouth was on mine, his arms like iron around my body. My hands were in his hair, and I was kissing him back as enthusiastically as he was kissing me.

I am so bad at listening to myself.

He bit at my lips, swept his tongue across my lips, demanding access, and I gave it to him, opening my mouth to him. His tongue invaded my mouth, and I moaned, knowing that he wanted more, so much more. His hands were roaming, and when he cupped one of my breasts in his huge, rough hand, I cried out at the sensation, pushing myself closer to him, needing his touch, and he gave it. He squeezed me, plucked roughly at my nipple, kissed his way down my throat, biting not exactly gently at the delicate skin at the side of my neck, right above my pulse point. Marking me, the way he had in so many of my memories and the dreams I’d had of him since. Claiming me.

He started kissing me again, and I started coming to my senses.

“Stop,” I said, and he groaned, let go of me. He sat back against his seat, head back against the headrest, frustration flowing from him like lava.

“We’re not doing this again,” I said.

He didn’t answer.

“Let’s go.”

“We’re already doing it again,” Nain said, looking over at me, meeting my eyes. “Why are you fighting so hard against what we both want?”

“You really need to ask that question? You don’t think how it ended last time is reason enough? Or the fact that I ended up with Brennan, who is like your polar opposite in almost every way? Of the fact that we drive one another nuts?”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me for the way it ended the first time. You know I did it to save you—“

“And to get back at Astaroth. Let’s not pretend your motives were totally benevolent, demon.”

“Fine. Yeah, I wanted Astaroth to meet his end. That was a bonus and I won’t deny being happy he’s gone. But I would have let him live if I thought you’d be okay. I fucking knew him, Molls. Hundreds of years fighting with or against him. Whether he wanted you for himself or someone else didn’t even matter. He wouldn’t have stopped. And no one knew you were immortal. All I kept envisioning was that day I’d come home and you wouldn’t be there because he finally caught up with you.”

He looked away from me, anger rolling off of him.

“I’m not going to apologize for doing what I thought I had to do to keep you safe. You can hate me forever for that if you want to. I’m sorry it hurt you. I’m sorry I lied. I wish I’d handled it a different way.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes. It had started to rain, and the sky was dark gray. Fat raindrops splattered against the windshield.

“As for that Brennan shit,” he started, and I looked back at him. “I’m not in competition with Brennan. I’m not some lovesick little boy who’s gonna follow you around begging you to look at me. You have enough to deal with right now without that shit. You know I love you. You know I’d do anything for you. You want him? You know where to find him. But we both know you have no interest in going back to him. I don’t need to try to convince you that we’re right together, because you already know it. You want it just as much as I do.”

I still didn’t answer. Nothing he said was wrong. I’d felt his pull on me since the moment I’d broken him out of the cell at the Wayne County Jail that first night I was back from my time in the Nether. I’d done everything in my power to fight it, because there’s just no way I could handle that particular brand of intense with everything else going on in my life. I looked over at him, and his eyes were on me. Being there with him, in the confines of his truck with the rain beating down after the kisses we’d just shared had my body on overdrive.

He leaned over again and lowered his lips to mine. This kiss was different; still demanding, still intense, but not as hard. This was more like him tasting me, loving me. This was the way he’d kissed me that morning in my kitchen, as if I was the best thing in the world and he’d never get tired of my lips on his.

He put his big hand on my waist, pulled me close to him, and deepened our kiss, and I was lost, kissing him back, my hands gripping his shoulders.

His mouth was on my throat, his hands roaming my body again, and I knew I would give him just about anything he wanted. I also knew I wasn’t ready, I pushed him away again, gently, and I felt how much it frustrated him, but he pulled back, let me go.

I glanced over at him. His jaw and fists were clenched, every muscle in his body tense. His eyes were glowing. I glanced down at his lap, clenched my thighs together, his need and frustration very evident from that quick glance. I looked up at his face, and he was watching me.

“Yeah. That’s nothing new. All you have to do is walk into a room and I’m ready to bend you over and make you forget about everything but me. And you know I can do it.”

“Stop it.”

“Make me.”

My face was burning, my body aching. I looked out the window, tried to calm myself down. “Calm down. You’re getting all demon on me.”

“Only for you. You’re the only one in my entire life I’ve ever let see all of me. And I know for damn sure I’m the only one who’s ever seen all of you. All that darkness you try to keep bottled up, all that rage you try to pretend you don’t feel. I know you inside and out. And I know there’s not another being alive who can say the same thing.”

“So, what? Do you want a gold star or something?” I huffed, still looking out the window.

“Nice that you didn’t bother denying it.”

I ignored him.

“What I really want to do is make you remember what it feels like. How fucking right it is when we’re together. You remember that night in your bed after we bonded for the first time? The way you came screaming for me? How hard we went at it until you were so exhausted that you couldn't even move?

His words, the memories he was evoking, had me on the verge of screaming with my own frustration. I looked back at him. His eyes were still glowing, his hunger rolling over me in waves.

“Nain.”

“What?”

“Yes. I remember. I still dream about that night. I want that. I want all of it. I want your mouth on me. I want to taste you again. I want to hear you growl when I bite you and feel how much you like it when I rake my fingernails down your back. I want you inside me so much it’s driving me insane. I want you holding me down, biting me, taking me so hard I feel it for days afterward even with my healing ability. But I need time, too,” I said, shaking my head a little, trying to get my body under control. Nearly impossible considering the way his hunger had ratcheted up as I’d been talking. “It’s so easy to lose myself in you. Just give me a little time to figure myself out so we don’t mess this up again. Can you give me that?”

He reached over and took my hand. I felt him trying to settle himself down. I met his eyes. He brought my hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to my wrist, my palm. “Yes. I can give you that.” Then his teeth scraped over the delicate skin of my wrist, and he nipped there, not exactly gently. “You are damn sexy when you do that.”

“When I do what?” I asked.

“When you tell me what you want. When you stand up to me like that. You’re a lot more confident than you used to be.”

I watched him as he ran his thumb over my wrist where he’d just bitten me. Soothing and ridiculously sexy, reminding me again of the intense sensations I felt when we were together. I smiled. “You just like fighting with me.”

“Only because when we start fighting, we usually end up fucking.”

I pulled my hand out of his and crossed my arms over my chest. “Not today, demon.”

He laughed and started the truck. “Not today, but soon. And I am going to enjoy making you beg, wife of mine.”

“In your dreams.”

He put his hand on my thigh, high, tips of his fingers very near where I was already aching for him. “You really don’t want to talk about my dreams right now, Molly. Not if you want me to stay in control.”