Strictly Forbidden (27 page)

“Me?” Lady Madeline laughed
.
“I am an old married woman now. But you are
fortunate
. I always wanted to have silky black hair like yours. And you have perfect skin.
It does not show a single flaw. And you have none of my freckles, lucky girl.”

Kira had never given a great deal of thought to her hair or skin being particularly
pretty
,
just different. More characteristics that marked her Persian. Yet Lady Madeline liked
them? The thought made her smile. They weren’t unattractive features, she supposed.

“You’re far too kind,” she murmured.

“No. I daresay, Lady Litchfield, who is quite used to being the most sought woman
in any room, noticed that night that she was no longer the only woman to attract attention.”

“I think you misunderstand. Lady Litchfield merely dislikes me.”

“Of course she does. No one woman enjoys being outshined.”

Kira would have liked to believe Lady Madeline, if only to credit something other
than contempt for prompting Lady Litchfield’s condescension. But was it possible?
Kira liked the idea of the lady’s jealousy far more than her prejudice. In fact, she
liked it a great deal.

With a new confidence, Kira inquired about the subject keeping her from her love.

“So I suspect the impending railroad is occupying your husband a great deal.”

“Some, yes. But most of that is behind him now.”

“Oh? Has someone else assumed those duties?” Perhaps that’s where Gavin had been of
late.

Maddie shook her head. “No, everything is finished, really. The test runs have been
completed with success. The hotels are ready to open. The employees have been hired.
The trains themselves are in place. Word is spreading of the coming opening in the
next few weeks. We’re simply waiting now.”

Kira frowned. “No one need do anything currently?”

“No.” Maddie smiled. “My husband has proven, once again, to be decidedly well organized
and capable of surrounding himself with people as brilliant as he.”

“What of the investors?” Kira swallowed, confused. “Certainly they are busy.”

Her hostess waved her question away. “Even less so. Brock prides himself on doing
everything for his investors so they simply have to sit back and await their profits.”

In other words, Brock was not busy with the railroad. Nor, it seemed
,
was Gavin.

A fist of dismay clamped tight in Kira’s stomach. If Gavin wasn’t busy with the railroad,
where was he?

“Have you seen your cousin Cropthorne today?” she asked, hoping her voice didn’t sound
as weak as it felt.

“Not today. But Lord, I swear he all but moved into Brock’s office for a week. I’ve
no notion why.” Maddie shrugged. “Brock grumbled that Gavin had simply come to waste
his time.”

Kira closed her eyes. Gavin hadn’t gone to Mr. Taylor’s office to waste his time.
Likely, he had done it to avoid her. Why? Shock and dejection washed over her. She
tried to block the wretched feeling. Why would he avoid her so judiciously? He must
know she wished to discuss their marriage—

Unless he avoided her because he had no intent to wed her at all.

Oh, dear God!

Suddenly, Kira felt herself tremble. A wave of nausea rolled through her stomach,
even as wretched tears stung her eyes. How could Gavin make love to her so passionately,
tell her he’d never been more certain about anything in his life as he was about her,
then abandon her so cruelly?

It appeared he had done just that.

“His grace had no business with your husband?”

“None whatsoever, except that of friendship, I suppose.” Maddie leaned forward and
set her teacup aside. “You’re looking peaked. Are you well?”

No, and Kira wondered if she’d ever be well again.

“I fear not. Perhaps I should go.” Kira rose on unsteady feet.

Maddie followed. “I shall call on you in a day or two to make certain you’re all right.”

With an absent nod and a distant word of thanks, Kira left. The driver helped her
into the rented hack. She collapsed into the seat once the door had shut behind her.
The musty smells of cigars and unwashed bodies assailed her, churning her stomach.
But her mind raced like a runaway stallion.

Gavin had no business with the railroad or Mr. Taylor at the moment. He had been away
nearly day and night for no particular reason. Kira could only conclude—indeed, feared—that
he was avoiding her to avoid the subject of marriage. The cad truly thought to take
her maidenhead and not do the honorable thing? Only contemptible men behaved so awfully…
unless they were men of consequence bedding women they found beneath them.

What an ugly, ugly truth.

Kira fought back tears. Gavin had been so attentive, so understanding and caring the
past few weeks—unlike the haughty duke she had first met. Lately, he had not seemed
at all like the kind of man to ruin a woman and care nothing for the consequence she
would face.

But she had been wrong about a man before.

Was the real Gavin a superior swine? Perhaps he’d thought her a woman of loose morals
all along and simply wanted the opportunity to bed her, as Darius had hinted.

If so, he didn’t know or understand her at all. And that would make everything she
had believed—and loved—about Gavin a lie.

The thought hit Kira like a blow. An encroaching wave of feeling filled her with misery
and anger and a thousand sentiments in-between.

She shouted at the driver to hurry, vowing to speak with Gavin as soon as possible.

* * * *

Gavin stumbled into his bedroom at nearly three o’clock in the morning. He reeked
of brandy, he knew. And he was so tired that his ability to play cards had deserted
him hours ago.

Again, that left him with nothing more to do than brood about Kira. While he hated
brooding—it was so idle an occupation—Gavin simply couldn’t stop.

He could not marry her. He simply couldn’t, for all the reasons he’d outlined to Brock.
Why, then, did part of him wish he could?

With a sigh, he lit the lamp in his room and wondered what the hell he was going to
do. He couldn’t avoid Kira forever.

And he was also distressed to hear from Graves that they’d received no word from his
cousin James again today. Damnation, that was beginning to be very troublesome.

“Welcome home,” said a smooth feminine voice.

Gavin whirled. In the overstuffed rosewood chair in the corner sat Kira, fully dressed
a
nd wearing an expression of fury so clear, he could not mistake it for anything else.

Even fuming, she looked so sensually elegant with her curls draped across her shoulder
and her plump red mouth made for kissing. Even her severe brown dress with buttons
nearly up to her neck couldn’t disguise the curves he’d touched and tasted.

Would almost kill to taste again.

His blood pounded thick and hot, urging him to kiss away her anger until they were
both aching with need. He wanted to hold her afterward and make her laugh. He ignored
his urges.

“What are you doing here?” he asked instead. “Someone will find you.”

She gave him a silent glare. “That is the least of my concerns at this point. I think
you owe me some conversation.”

He tensed. Here it was, her demand. Gavin sighed. She had every right to make it.
He simply didn’t know what to say.

“Kira, I—I’m sorry.”

She arched a black brow. “For avoiding me?”

Oh, she’d figured that out? No wonder she was furious. “No.” The icy expression in
her crystal blue eyes told him that was the wrong answer. “Yes, I’m sorry if you felt
I was avoiding you.”

“You were,” she pointed out.

He sidestepped her claim. “What did you come to discuss?”

“You know we must talk about what happened in the library.” She frowned. “It was—
”

“A mistake,” he cut in. “I’m entirely at fault. I let myself be carried away by your…charms.
It was irresponsible of me, and I regret my actions.”

There, that sounded good. Maybe if he took all the blame… Oh, the round-eyed fury
she speared him with told him that his apology had not helped his case.

“What we did was a mistake?” she challenged. “I asked you if you were certain. You
said you’d never been more certain of anything in your life. You did not mean that?”

He sighed. “I meant it.”
Unfortunately.
“I did want you.” He still did, so damned desperately it made little sense.

“Then what has changed? Now suddenly you avoid the very sight of me?”

Gavin saw her tears fighting their way through anger. She squeezed her eyes shut,
trying to keep them at bay. His stomach twisted. He could usually end a liaison with
more finesse than this. Damn, why hadn’t he thought to give her a gift or something
to ease the pain of their parting? That usually worked.

Then again, his partners didn’t fancy the idea of marriage.

And they weren’t virgins.

“Kira, women are ruled by their hearts, while men…men are ruled by lust. When I said
I wanted you—
”

“You merely wanted to bed me.” She ground her teeth together. “Of course. How stupid
of me.”

“I realize now that you were thinking of marriage,” he conceded.

“Indeed. To be thinking otherwise, I would have to be the most—
”
She gasped, then stared at him with eyes that flashed blue rage. “That’s what you
thought of me
,
that I was a woman of loose morals.” She shook her head. “God, you must think me a
fool as well. All the time you smiled at me, complimented me, attended to me, you
merely wanted to seduce me because you believe
d
me to be a fallen woman. My brother was right.” Fists formed at her sides. “You didn’t
learn a thing about me in these past weeks. Nor did you care.”

Pain chiseled away at some of her anger, and it hurt Gavin to see her in such anguish.
He crossed the room and took her shoulders in his hands.

“I did learn about you.” He couldn’t tell her that he hadn’t intended to seduce her.
He couldn’t lie to her about that. “I did not mean to hurt you. Hell, I didn’t mean
for…it to happen.”

“But you didn’t stop yourself from seducing your own cousin’s bride, despite having
no intent to marry me. What kind of man does that make you?”

“A reprobate, I’m sure.”
One very much like my father.
Disgust slithered through his stomach. “If it’s any consolation, I’m appalled at
my own behavior.”

“But not so appalled that you intend to do the right thing?” she challenged. “It was
much easier for you to believe I was a whore, and therefore, a fair target for your
seduction. But since I’ve proven you wrong—
”

“How was I to know you were an innocent?”

“You
believed
Lord Vance?”

“I spoke to him personally some weeks ago.”

When Kira’s jaw dropped and she jerked away from him, Gavin realized he’d said the
wrong thing again.

“He sounded most convincing,” Gavin said. “And he knew of your birthmark.”

Kira paused and glared at him. “And how did you know of it before that night in the
library?”

There were some lies that had to be told, Gavin thought. This was one of them. Certainly,
if he told Kira that he’d viewed every swell and hollow of her tea and cream skin
weeks ago
, o
h, would she be
enraged
—
and rightfully
so
.

“A servant.”

Wrath gathered on her face again. “Let me tell you about my dealings with the nefarious
Lord Vance. He only knew of my birthmark because, after he offered me marriage and
promised to take me to Gretna, he took me toward London, tied me to a bed, and stripped
me naked.
”

“I screamed and pleaded and threatened the cad. He
laughed
at me. It was merely luck that allowed me to twist free of my binds and jump from
a window down to a buggy full of hay so that I could escape.” Tears filled her eyes
then in clear, insistent drops. “He threatened to kill me if I told anyone. Not that
anyone would have listened, for everyone thought me a harlot.”

Gavin felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. Vance had tied her down and
stripped her bare? He saw the picture and could nearly hear her pleading
.
He blocked the ugly image from his head.

Red rage took its place.

No wonder Darius had gone after the cad. Gavin wished at the moment that he could
join Kira’s brother in the hunt.

“Did Vance—
”

“Touch me? Not with any
intent. He at least spared me that.”

Lord Vance didn’t seem the kind of man with many scruples. Why wouldn’t he take advantage
of Kira’s captivity when he had the opportunity? Gavin wracked his brain
until he remembered Brock’s claims that rumor said Vance was a sodomite.