Strictly Forbidden (25 page)

Bloody hell, he had no idea what to do. Kira’s virginity could not be repaired. And
James… Gavin’s reason for being here tonight rushed back to him.
James!
He glanced back at Kira, still looking slightly disheveled.
James’s fiancée—previously virginal.

Dear God, what had he done?

He glanced at his pocket watch. Only three minutes late. Thank God James hadn’t arrived
on time. His cousin, whom he loved like a brother, would never have spoken to him
again. Hell, he still might not if he guessed what had just transpired.

Gavin cringed when he considered how much James would be hurt by his act. How had
he let this happen? Why hadn’t he stopped after a kiss or two, as planned?

Somehow, that had not been possible.

Had the infamous Daggett blood reared its head? It bloody seemed so. And if the way
he’d felt with Kira was any indication of its strength, no wonder his father had been
such a shocking reprobate.

The footsteps stopped before the door, and Gavin rushed into his shirt, ruthlessly
shoving the tails into his trousers as a knock sounded.

Beside him, Kira gasped. He turned to assure her that no one would know, but the swollen
quality of her mouth quieted him. The burn of his whiskers along the sensitive skin
of her neck looked rather guilty as well. He gestured her to a chair in the corner
of the room, hunched in the shadows. With poor lighting, she could pass muster. He
hoped.

“Come in,” he said finally.

The door opened
,
and his valet stepped inside. If Hanson noticed anything untoward, his expression
gave away nothing.

“Your grace, Mr. Howland is not at home.”

Gavin expelled a shaky breath. “Not here? Where—
”

“That is what I’ve been trying to tell you,” said Kira from across the room.

He whipped his gaze in her direction to find her sitting quietly in her chair, looking
rumpled and alluring as sin. No, he couldn’t think of that now. Better to focus on
the fact James had not been here during this seduction. Or perhaps he should consider
that Kira had been trying to tell him something before he had ploughed into her like
a steam train.

Gavin frowned and absently dismissed his valet. Hanson, ever the soul of propriety,
left the door open after his exit.

It was a heavy realization for Gavin to know he’d concocted this plot tonight for
nothing…well, except for the sharp, amazing pleasure Kira had wrought in him. Damnation,
he should have been thinking with his head, not his—

“James departed yesterday after we learned that my brother left to seek Lord Vance
and avenge me,” she said quietly.

Yes, Lord Vance. Gavin realized the nobleman had lied in every way conceivable when
he’d described his rendezvous with Kira a few weeks earlier. Why? He hardly cared
now. Still, Vance deserved to have his face beaten for such behavior.

But it begged the question: how had Vance learned of Kira’s birthmark?

“Is James supposed to stop your brother?” he asked.

“If necessary.”

“What?” Gavin rubbed his suddenly aching forehead. “James cannot fight. I know Lord
Vance’s reputation with dueling pistols. If my cousin tries to stop your brother and
finds himself in the middle of their fight, he will be in grave—
”

“I hope it will not come to that.” Kira rose and slowly approached. “James must find
Darius first. We only have the vague notion that he might have headed toward Cornwall
based on a letter from someone named Mrs. Linde.”

“The brothel owner?”

“You know her?” Kira arched a questioning brow.

Gavin refused to look or feel guilty for passing an evening or two at her establishment.
“I know of her. What else does the letter say?”

Kira shrugged. “We don’t have the letter. But do not fret. James has promised to send
a note home every day. We received one only this morning indicating he was quite well
and already had some news of my brother. It’s possible they may be on their way home
even now.”

Gavin noticed her biting her lip. Kira did not really believe that, but she wanted
to.

He sighed. “This is a bloody mess.”

“I’m sorry.” She
laid
a tentative hand on his shoulder. “I truly tried—
”

At her touch, he jumped. His body leapt with excitement; his mind rebelled.

“I know.”
I wish to God I’d listened.

Kira bit her lip again. “Gavin, what shall we tell James about…us?”

Tell James? Unthinkable. Why would she assume
…b
ecause she’d been a virgin, with an innocent’s sensibilities. Was she thinking
marriage? He couldn’t do his utmost to dissuade his cousin from wedding her only to
do the thing himself!

Yet she was unwed, and he’d ruined her. Didn’t he owe her?

“I—I don’t…” Gavin had no idea how to answer Kira.

What a bloody mess! Why hadn’t he believed the signs of her naïveté, rather than assuming
she played some coy game? He’d spent too much time among the women of the
ton
,
he supposed. But such an excuse would not save the situation now.

If only he knew how Lord Vance had seen Kira’s birthmark… Perhaps Vance really had
paid a servant for the knowledge, rather than acquiring it himself. What a mess!

Time alone, time to think
. T
hat was what he needed. “Let us discuss this later. I should go now. If anyone else
discovers us alone like this, tongues will wag.”

With that, he turned and all but ran for his chamber
. He needed
to find a quiet place absent of Kira, her sultry eyes
,
and her vanilla scent that drove him wild; anywhere away from the very room in which
he’d just experienced amazing pleasure with her. Perhaps then he could think of something
other than his cousin’s fiancée and consider some way out of this disaster.

* * * *

Gavin wasn’t coming to breakfast
, so Kira sat alone to an early meal two days later with a sigh.

He was distraught; that much was obvious
.
And she understood. He must be worried for sweet, unworldly James, up against a man
of Lord Vance’s lethal abilities. Lord knew she worried about
him
and Darius for the same reasons.

After she’d learned the true reason for Darius’s departure, it had taken Kira nearly
two days to draw a single calm breath. James’s first note home had eased her mind
a bit, however. And the two notes he’d sent subsequently had proven all was well,
at least thus far. She refused to be less than optimistic that all would end well.

Still, Kira missed Gavin and hoped his mood would turn around soon. He’d been so distant
after his valet’s interruption the other night, and she had not seen him since. Railroad
business occupied him, according to Hanson. Kira knew the railroad had encountered
difficulty lately and that an investment of that size certainly required his attention,
but she hoped to see Gavin today. They must talk of their future together, plan their
wedding. In light of her engagement to James, they would have to marry quietly by
special license. But she didn’t mind
. E
ventually she would be able to shout her love for him for the world to hear.

In a haze of happiness, Kira smiled. Before they had made love, she had hoped for
a sign of Gavin’s feelings, yes, but never expected anything so ardent or substantial.
He’d possessed her completely.

I’ve never been more certain in my life,
Gavin had said. The fact he felt so strongly about her made her giddy.

They would have a wonderful life together. She appreciated everything about him
. He had a
strong mind
. While he occasionally teased his loved ones
,
he
was
kind
. A
nd he
accept
ed
her heritage. Oh, and the way he made love! She had
never
imagined her marriage bed would be so passionate, so rich with pleasure that she
screamed.

But while Gavin had every right to be distraught about James’s fate, Kira was forced
to admit an impatience to cement their engagement. She frowned. They would have to
break the news to James first. She didn’t believe he would suffer any real heartache,
for he had never given any indication that his proposal had been extended in anything
more than kindness and charity. Mrs. Howland would put up a great fuss, but perhaps
less than she would if Kira married her only son. The thought made her giggle. And
as for Lady Litchfield, she could not be quite as polite. She very much hoped the
icy young dowager rotted in her jealousy.

When Gavin returned to the town house, they would settle the details of their marriage.
Kira knew she’d been most improper to allow Gavin to bed her. Thank goodness he knew
her well enough to realize she was not a woman of loose morals
as
he’d originally believed her to be. Still, the pleasure he’d given her had overwhelmed
her. Only that and her love for him could explain why she’d allowed such a thing to
happen. Not that she regretted it. Gavin loved her. Well, he hadn’t said those words
exactly, but certainly his lovemaking had been a clear indication of his feelings.
Of course, she could not allow him to express his sentiments again in that way until
after their vows had been spoken—no matter how much she wished he could.

* * * *

Five miserable days had passed since Gavin made his big, irreversible mistake on the
library floor with Kira Melbourne. Five long days since he’d known a moment’s peace,
had any sleep of merit… had stopped thinking about the woman he’d ruined.

For the fifth day in a row, Gavin left his town house early in the morning, desperate
for a distraction, for a reason to think of anything but Kira. He paused to consider
that James had not sent a note home in two days, then shook the thought away. His
cousin would be—must be—safe. Perhaps he’d had no time to write, or the post was slow.
Gavin refused to consider any other alternatives.

Which left him with nothing to ponder but Kira and his grievous error.

Groaning, he entered Brock’s distinguished suite of offices in The City, directly
across from the Bank of England. He nodded to his friend’s secretary, surrounded by
a mountain of papers. Gavin entered Brock’s personal office without a knock.

“So you’re back again. What a surprise.” Brock grinned.

“Bugger off.”

His railroad partner laughed. “And as cheerful as yesterday. What a treat.”

Gavin scowled, aware he was being less than friendly and not caring a bloody whit.

“Talk to me about the railroad,” he demanded.

Brock’s smile widened. “It’s about to happen—finally. The track has been repaired
since the accident. Lady Litchfield has looked over a few of the hotels and given
her approval. Maddie and I have looked at the rest and are satisfied they’ll meet
ton
standards. We should open on June seventh.”

“Excellent. What can I do?”

“Nothing.” Brock grinned. “Except wait for all the money to come rolling in. We’re
going to make a fortune, you know.”

“Yes.” He pushed the syllable out in misery.

“You sound utterly thrilled by the prospect.”

He was, at least mostly. But this Kira
situation had him between sixes and sevens.

Brock stood and rounded the corner of his desk to sit on the edge near him. “You’ve
come here every
day for five days and you have yet to tell me why. Since I recently looked at your
investments, I know you’re not in need of any new ones. I’ve assured you repeatedly
that the railroad is on schedule, on budget, and poised to make us wealthy beyond
our dreams. You should know beyond a doubt that your cousin Maddie is being well cared
for.”

“Yes, I know.” And he did. But he had no way to explain to his friend that he came
here to escape Kira and the decision that he knew he must yet make about her.

“Good. Is there some other reason you’ve come to interrupt my work so frequently of
late?”

Gavin paused. He didn’t know what to say
or
do. “I need a drink.”

Brock fished out his pocket watch. “At nine-twenty in the morning?”

Shrugging, Gavin rose. “The time hardly signifies.”

As he turned for the door, Brock fell into step beside him. “All right. Let’s make
haste to my house. I’ll ply you with drink and then you tell me why you keep disrupting
me at the office.”

While he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell anyone about his dreadful mistake, he had nothing
else to do but follow Brock. Perhaps a drink would clear his mind, or help him forget
about his stupid blunder
. H
e didn’t care which at the moment.