Stricken Desire (28 page)

“My work numbers and work email are on the
front and I already put my cell number and my personal email on the
back. Get a hold of me about this please or get a hold of me for
other things if you’d like. I know I would.” She eyes me up and
down.

I blush. “You are a charmer you know.”

“No, I just know what I want and I will do
whatever I can to have it.” She says licking her lips. She’s so
beautiful. I wonder why she went into the advertising world to work
behind the scenes when she’d make the perfect model.

“What are you thinking?” she asks. Shit! I
must have looked too deep in thought. I hate when I do that.

“I was just thinking you are very beautiful
and I can’t believe you don’t model.” I blurt honestly.

She chuckles. “I’m not the one who should be
modeling, you are. Seriously. I have a few agencies who would die
to have a petite big breasted red head with a luscious ass.” She
gooses me. “Plus I’m too old to model.” She adds.

“You really like asses don’t you? And there
is no way you’re too old.”

“Oh honey you have no idea how much I love
asses.” She smiles darkly and slides her hand over my backside
again softer this time. Goose bumps flow over my skin. “Especially
yours. Yes, I am too old. Maybe if I was twenty five I’d model but
I’m closing in on forty in the next two years. I’m past that
prime.”

Holy shit! I resist the urge to allow my
mouth to fall to the floor. I don’t want to insult her. This woman
standing in front of me looks no older than maybe twenty seven on a
bad night. And she’s thirty eight. I just screwed a thirty
eight-year-old lesbian in the bathroom. She’s fourteen years older
than me. Hot damn! But she’s gorgeous.

“I would have never guessed.” I say
politely.

“About what? My age or how much I like asses?
Cause there’s a whole lot more I’d love to do to that hot ass of
yours that would include a lot more than just using my tongue.” She
winks seductively. My belly burns again. Is it five hundred degrees
in this club or is it just me?

“Your age.” I choke out.

“Well how old are you? I know I don’t look
thirty eight but sometimes I feel it. Other than tonight of
course.” She eyes me sexily. Man she must still be horned up with
all these hot little innuendos.

“I’m twenty four.” I blurt.

Now, her mouth falls open in disbelief.

“What? Are you serious? She asks completely
taken back.

“That’s what it says on my birth certificate
and driver’s license.” I kid.

“Shit, well you’re the youngest woman I’ve
been with by four years.” She says.

“Is that okay?” I ask eerily.

“Hell yes sweetheart, you keep me young.” She
grabs my ass again. Her fetish with asses is defiantly something to
be taken seriously.

We talk a little more and say our goodnights
and I ride with James back to the hotel. It was a good night
tonight. I don’t feel guilty at all for enjoying Claire and I look
forward to working with her in the future. She’s more dominate than
I first thought especially in the sex department but I don’t think
we’ll be heading down that road again anytime soon. Although I like
her and I could see us becoming friends. If she can stay away from
trying to lick me the next time I see her. But time will tell.

I open my eyes. What the hell? Who in the
world is pounding on the door at? I look over at the alarm clock
next to my bed. Eight ten in the damn morning. The pounding
continues. So I slide out of bed.

“Hold on a minute.” I yell as I throw on a
hotel robe. I came back to the room last night and took a quick
shower and went to sleep naked. I was exhausted from those three
perfect orgasms.

I peek out the hole at my door. Son of a
bitch!

“What do you want Johnathan?” I ask through
the closed door.

“I need to talk to you.” He’s begs.

“At eight in the morning? Couldn’t it wait
until later or maybe never?” I ask frustrated.

“Let me in please.” He begs again.

“Johnathan, Stacy is in here sleeping. I
can’t wake him with our bickering.”

“I don’t care I need in now and I need to
talk to you and find James please.” He’s resorted to whining
now.

“Fine.” I tug the door open and pull my robe
tighter around me.

“Thanks.” He says coming in. He’s breathing
heavy and his face has lost all its color.

“Are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” he points to his face, he’s
almost hyperventilating again. The second time in two days.

“Sit down on the couch and tell me what’s
up.” I gesture to the couch in the living room area. He sits down
and places his elbows on his knees, his fingers in his hair. He
breaks down and starts to cry. Tears are pouring down his face.

“Johnathan what’s wrong?” I suck back a
sniffle. I can’t do crying. I cry almost every time. Suck it up
Bronwyn! You can do this!

“Everything.” He sobs fisting his hair to the
point his knuckles are white.

“Do you want me to call James? What do you
need him for?” I ask calmly. Two mornings in a row he’s been crazy.
Maybe he had another nightmare. Poor man.

“Yes, tell him there are three woman crashed
out in my room and I need them gone asap.” He says and his crying
worsens just as my heart sinks and drops out of my chest and falls
onto the floor. I never thought getting confirmation that he fucked
a bunch of chicks would hurt this bad but it does. I resist the
urge to rub my heart. It’s so painful I fear if I rub it the pain
might get worse.

“Okay.” I say on a deep exhale and I go into
my bedroom retrieve my phone off the nightstand and call James tell
him what’s up and he says it’ll be taken care of right away. I also
make sure to tell him to stay close because something is wrong with
Johnathan.

“Did you call him?” he asks wiping his nose
when I come back into the room.

“Yes, he said he’ll have them removed.” I say
calmly even though I am anything but.

“So would you like to tell me what’s really
wrong?” I sit on the floor in front of him my legs tucked under me.
He at me. His eyes are puffy, bloodshot, his skin is clammy and
he’s shaking. Oh no! “Johnathan.” My tone is warning. I think I
know what this is! Fuck!

“I’m so fucked up in the head short stack.”
He smacks his messy hair on his head hard.

“What happened? What do you need me to do to
help?” I ask calmly and softly. I am trying to be a caring friend
even though he ripped my heart out.

“I fucked up!” he yells fisting his hair.

“What did you do Johnathan?” I ask firmly and
hard but not mean.

“I’ve been having nightmares for the past two
almost three weeks. Bad ones. There back. You saw one yesterday.
Well, about a week ago just after you left to go to Indiana to see
your mom and dad I got drunk at a bar in North Carolina and I met
up with this dude. He offered me some coke and I took it. Then I
went back to the bus that night and slept the high off and my
nightmare the next morning wasn’t as bad. Or I didn’t think it was
because when I woke up I was still messed up but I couldn’t
remember most of it.” He says almost choking out every word. My
heart breaks for him. I can’t believe he did drugs!

“I stayed on the bus the whole vacation and
found more coke and I’ve been bingeing on it for the past week. Its
help keep the nightmare memories away. Then last night I saw you
humping that lesbian chick and I saw you orgasm. My heart broke. I
mean fucking shattered. So when I saw you and her dip into the back
I knew you two were about to do something else. So I took those
three chicks you saw me with and brought them back here. We all
doped up on coke and drank beer and whiskey. I fucked the brunette
and threw up afterwards. I didn’t come but Jesus I was so drunk and
hopped up I wasn’t fucking thinking.” He smacks his head again.

“I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have done it. I
shouldn’t have touched her. I’m so sorry.” He fists his hair again
his knuckles are white. Tears fall from his eyes again.

“I’m so stupid baby. I’m so fucking stupid. I
shouldn’t have touched her with my dick. It’s yours all yours. It’s
not hers. She tainted it now. I fucking tainted my dick with her
pussy. Oh god! What have I done!” he screams.

A tear escapes down my cheek. I feel so bad
for him. This is terrible! I did part of this to him I feel like
horseshit! I should have known not to mess with someone else in
front of him I hate when he does it to me. It fucking hurts so bad!
I’m so horrible.

He looks at me through watery eyes. “Oh no
baby don’t cry! No! Fuck! Don’t cry Short stack.” he pleads.

I can’t help but cry. I feel horrible. Oh
shit I think I am going to be sick. I cover my mouth and run as
fast as I can into the bathroom and throw up bile into the toilet.
I heave and I heave until there is nothing left. I wipe my mouth
with a washcloth and he’s standing the doorway of the bath his eyes
are puffy and dark circles are encasing them. He looks like
hell.

“We need to get you help.” I say walking
towards him. I grab his hand and escort him back into the living
room and push him to sit back down.

“I don’t need help baby I just need you. I
can’t do this anymore. I am dying without you.” He says sadness
penetrating his voice.

“You’re having nightmares Johnathan you need
help and now you’re doing drugs. Have you done them before? And why
didn’t you go see your family during break. That might have helped
with all of this.”

“Yes, I’ve done drugs before. From thirteen
until I was twenty two. I always stay on the bus when we have a
break. Stacy stays with me sometimes because he feels sorry for me.
I don’t have a family to go see.” He says pouty.

“No mom or dad?” I ask softly kneeling on the
floor in front of him. Not touching.

“My parents are dead, have been for some time
now and my sister is busy living her life with her kids and husband
and I can’t be raining on their lives. I’m too fucked up for that.
I haven’t spoken to her since I got out of rehab five years
ago.”

I can’t help but think back to the nightmare
yesterday. He was yelling at his dad about killing something. Or
was it someone? I don’t know. But he was crying for his mom. Wow
this poor man. I just want to hold him and take care of him. He
needs that.

“I’m so sorry you were alone. I wish I would
have known. We wouldn’t have stayed as long. How long were you in
rehab for?”

“I was in for nearly a year. That’s where I
met the guys. We were all in rehab together. Formed a band there.
Got out and decided to try to do something about it. And here we
are.” He shrugs.

“Wow that’s inspirational Johnathan. Really.”
I give him a sweet smile. I want to lighten the load on his heart
any way I can. Even if mine is torn to pieces.

“Yeah a real fucking Laura Ingles story.” He
snaps.

“Hey, don’t be like that. So do you think you
can stop the drugs again? Or do we need to put you through detox?”
I pat his leg reassuringly.

“It’s getting bad already. I can feel the
itch right now to snort and I just did like two hours ago.” He
wipes his nose.

“How much have you been doing?”

“A line or two every time I get the itch.
It’s bad. Yesterday after I got up into the hotel room I did it
like six times before the concert last night and twice after and
then again this morning with those chicks.” He covers his face with
his hands.

“I am going to wake Stacy we are going to
call the best drug rehab in LA and we are going to take you there
to get better.” I say, as a matter of fact.

“I can’t do that. What about the shows? We
haven’t even gotten through half of them yet. I don’t want the fans
to hate us.”

“You have no choice.” I blurt. And I want to
rub my belly but I can’t. I want to tell him he has to get clean
for his babies but in truth he has to get clean for himself so
maybe someday if we get past the hating and fighting he can be a
dad. If he wants to that is. I would never force him to be. Some
men are just not cut out for it.

I get up “You stay.” I say to him and go into
Stacy’s bedroom. He’s out cold in a pair of hideous plaid boxers
with a hole on the bottom. See he talks shit about my panties and
look at what he’s wearing. Damnit, I don’t have time to worry about
that right now I have to cancel this tour. I have to help Johnathan
get clean.

“Stacy wake up” I jiggle the end of the bed.
He turns over and rubs his eyes. Wow that was easier than I
thought.

“What? Is everything okay Em? Or could you
not wait to talk to tell me about your hot lesbo experience last
night?” He asks raising his eyebrow and shooting me a stupid sleepy
wink. Only he could make that look hot as fuck so early in the
morning. God love him!

I roll my eyes. “Johnathan is in the living
room having a mental break down and he’s back on drugs. We have to
cancel part if not all of the tour and get him back into rehab
right away.” I state firmly.

That does it for him. He shoots out of bed
throws on a pair of Pajama bottoms and a T shirt. Snatching his
cell from his nightstand and his laptop from the floor. And into
the living room we go. Johnathan is sitting solemnly against the
back of the couch dazed.

“What are you on now?” he asks standing in
front of Johnathan.

“Coke and a lot of it.” He frowns and rubs
his nose.

“You want more now don’t you?” Stacy
asks.

“Yes. You should know you’ve been there. It’s
not easy to kick the shit. I’ve been having those nightmares again.
Cokes been helping me forget them when I wake.” He says.

Woah! Back the fucking truck up. Stacy knows
how it is? Since when? I didn’t think he’s ever done a damn drug in
his life.

“Stacy?” I raise my voice staring right at
him. He knows what I am talking about. He knows me well enough to
know that I don’t know about his little secret.