Stricken Desire (23 page)

“I had another nightmare a bad one this time.
I’m sorry if I scared you.” He says his voice is almost back to
normal as is his breathing.

“I know. I tried to wake you a few times. Are
you okay?” I loosen my hold and start to pull away.

He grabs my arm. “Please just hold me a
little longer. Please. I need it.” He begs sadness saturates his
voice.

“Okay.” I retighten my grip around his
stomach and I caress his back with my other. Tracing the tight
muscles with my fingers. I can feel goose bumps rise on his back
and he groans.

“This feels so nice. I missed you.” He
says.

Cue the butterflies! Even if he is full of
shit when it comes to getting me into bed he still has moments like
this when I think he’s perfect in some way’s. He has a sweetness at
the core of him that I think he tries to hide to be strong and
tough. But I can feel it in times like this when he says what he
feels. I know he’s not trying to get me into bed now. This is the
real man behind the mask and rock star persona.

“I’m glad you’re okay. Do you want to talk
about it?” I instinctively kiss his temple again. He squeezes my
forearm and sighs. I think he might have liked that.

“No, I get these sometimes and I’ve gotten
them a lot lately. This one was just worse than the rest. I don’t
usually end up sweating.” He says calmly. Which makes me feel so
much better. He’s almost back to the sarcastic jerk we all know and
love. Okay, I don’t love but others do.

“Is talking and thrashing part of the norm
for you?”

“I was talking? And thrashing?”

By the tone in his voice I can tell he didn’t
realize that. Maybe he needs to get help for whatever is bothering
him.

“Yeah. A lot.”

“And you still got onto that bed with me to
try and wake me up? Are you crazy?” his tone is sharp.

“We had an incident this morning at the
Verizon center and I got us booked into a hotel instead of the bus
so Stacy sent me here to wake you. I didn’t know you were having a
nightmare but I wasn’t going to leave you like that. So if climbing
into bed with you to wake you from an intense and scary nightmare
makes me crazy. Then so be it.” I add sternly and let go of
him.

He turns and looks at me for the first time
since yesterday and his face is so sad and his circles around his
eyes are worse and now they’re puffy.

“You look tired short stack how much sleep
did you get last night?” he asks nicely. But I feel it dig into my
self-esteem. You look tired is usually polite for. ‘You look like
shit.’

I comb my hands through my hair as I stand up
and sit my butt on the corner of his bed.

“I’m sorry I’m not as visually pleasing.” I
mutter.

He frowns deep. “It’s not that and you know
it.” He says sitting on the floor his legs straight out in front of
him. I didn’t realize but he’s in a pair of red silk boxers and
that’s all. When he said he likes silk boxers I guess he wasn’t
kidding.

“No… I don’t know it. And I got three maybe
four hours last night. Been up since five. I wondered how you slept
through all the screaming. But now I know with that nightmare.”

“I’m sorry you had to witness that.” He
scrubs his hands on his face.

“It’s not a big deal for me. I just feel bad
for you. Maybe you should talk to someone about it. Get some help?”
I state gracefully.

“I’ve been to a hundred different
psychiatrists. They can’t fix me. I’ve gone years where I’m fine.
Then when I am stressed the nightmares resurface. It’s not that big
of a deal. As long as I don’t go off the deep end everything will
be just fine.” He stands.

“It is a big deal. You scared me. I don’t
want you to get worse.” I plead.

“Why do you care Emily? Really? I will be
fine.” He leans against the wall, rubbing his hands over his arms
like he’s trying to wash something invisible off. He still isn’t
fine. Even if he is standing there acting all fine he’s not. I can
tell.

“I care because I’m your friend Johnathan.” I
say because I can’t say what I want to. That I’m in love with him
or I was. And ‘Oh, by the way I don’t want you to be a head case
because you’re going to be a dad soon. To a set of twins!’ If that
wouldn’t make his nightmares worse I don’t know what would. This
officially tells me I can’t let him know about the babies. I will
finish the tour and then bugger off. He won’t have to ever see me
again and I will happily ever after in NY or somewhere with my
twins and maybe Stacy. Sounds like a good plan to me.

“I don’t want another friend. I have plenty
of them.” He blurts angrily.

I have no fucking clue how we went to sweet
‘I need you to hold me’ Johnathan. To hard, I’m fine, I don’t like
you anymore Johnathan. I hate him like this. I would rather have
the other man back in a heartbeat minus the terrifying
nightmares.

“Ok.” I stand. “I’m sorry you had a bad
nightmare. I won’t bother you again.” I open the door to leave and
he grabs my arm.

“Thank you Em.” He says with a gentle
smile.

“No prob, just be careful the mob of woman
out for your nuts has grown exponentially the past few hours. James
will help get you into the Marriot.” I tug out of his grasp leave
his room shutting it behind me and tuck some clothes into my
luggage.

“Hello Ms. Bronwyn. May I help you with your
luggage?” James says when I meet him outside the bus my bag in
hand.

I shake my head “No, just wait for Mr.
Striker and I will see myself inside. “ I drop my red bag into the
ground to roll.

“I’m not allow to do that ma’am. I am sworn
to follow you and protect you.”

“What? By who? I’m not a rock star James.” I
look to him for answers.

“Stacy and Mr. Striker have both placed your
safety as the number one concern. I am only following orders
ma’am.” He bends over and picks up my luggage from the ground.

“But what about Johnathan? We can’t leave him
in there alone? What if something happens?” I ask, frantic. I can’t
leave him unguarded. I’m not that stupid even if he did just hurt
my feelings again.

“Madam we will have to leave him and I will
come back as soon as I see you to your room.”

“What about the other security Stacy
hired?”

“Those men are at their posts. And I am at
mine. You are it. Wherever you go I go ma’am.” He bows.

“You’re going to leave Johnathan unprotected?
You’re not a very good bodyguard if you do that.” I state
frustrated and worried.

“I don’t make the rules madam I just follow
them. My duty is to protect you. Mr. Striker has another bodyguard
but he’s been assigned to a station out front to keep the crowd
from making its way back to the bus. Once he disembarks into the
hotels back entrance his guard will leave his post and stand
attention in the hotel to protect Mr. Striker. But as of right now
ma’am I am doing to job and you are it.” He states rather
eloquently. For a bodyguard he is well-spoken.

“If I stay and wait for him. That means you
have to stay right? And you can escort us both in?”

He nods. “Yes madam if that is what you
wish.”

“What I wish is to go into the hotel by
myself but since that’s not going to happen James. I will go back
inside and wait for him.”

I leave my luggage outside with my own
personal bodyguard which is ridiculous. James is a handsome man and
polite but I don’t need him tailing me everywhere. But it seems I
have no say in the matter. Looks like me, Stacy and Mr. Striker
will be having a conversation about priorities and I am not it.

I make my way to the couch and drop down on
it. I don’t know how long it’s going to take him to get ready but I
am not going to rush him. He just woke up from a nightmare. That
would just be cruel to push him to leave if he isn’t ready yet.

I hear the bathroom door open and Oh my god.
Out walks a naked Johnathan with a towel shaking the water out of
his hair. Wowzers that ass of his is mighty fine, especially in
this lighting.

“Ah…hem.” I clear my throat.

He turns around but doesn’t bother to cover
up his anaconda.

“Jesus Emily what are you still doing here?”
he says standing showing me his cock and balls in all its full
nude, well lit glory. It’s impossible for me not to stare at it. So
I don’t even try.

“I….” I clear my throat again and swallow
hard. “James was assigned to me and well your new bodyguard isn’t
around to escort you into the building.” Saliva is pooling into my
mouth staring at the glorious cock between his long muscular legs.
I swallow it down. “So I thought it only the right thing to do is
wait for you to finish up here and he’ll escort us both into the
Marriot.” I finish with a loud exhale.

His eyes are beaming at me when I look up.
Yes, he caught me staring at his cock. It’s not hard to notice when
someone’s eyes are as wide as mine. I haven’t seen many dicks in my
life and his thus far has been the most beautiful. So sue me for
looking!

“Do you like what you see?” he shoots me a
wicked grin and wiggles his hips side to side, his giant manhood
slaps from one leg to the other a few times.

I giggle. “What do you expect? You’re naked
and your cock is beautiful. What can I say?” I blush fifty shades
of red but it’s true. I’m not going to lie. What can he do to me
anyhow? I’m already pregnant and he’s already broken my heart.
What’s left?

I glace up at his face again. His eyes are
wide. I think I shocked him with my honesty. He’s frozen.

“What?” I shrug.

“I can’t believe you just said that.” He adds
and then he blushes, finishing up drying his hair with the
towel.

“It’s true. What am I supposed to say when
you catch me staring at it? Oh no it’s hideous put that monster
away?” I scoff. “I think not.”

I eye it again and he’s yet to move to go
back into the bedroom so we can leave. His cock is like staring
right at me and I can see it twitching. Oh no! It’s getting hard. I
can see it before my eyes. And still I can’t stop staring at it.
I’m blushing constantly and my belly is doing major flips and I can
feel my panties getting wet but I still can’t break my eyes from
it.

A growl erupts the silence between us. I look
up into his eyes and they are burning with lust. I am too smart to
fall for that again. Although I don’t mind the view.

“I don’t want to say this because yes I like
the way it looks. But I want to take a nap before the show tonight
and eat something. So can you please get dressed so I can go to my
room?”

“Why don’t you come to mine and I can give
you something to eat.” He says seriously with a wink and wiggles
his hard cock it hits his legs like a baseball bat with a loud
slap.

I look down at my belly wanting to rub it.
But I can’t make it that obvious. So I glance back into his
beautiful lustful eyes. As much as I am craving this man and my
pussy is screaming between my legs. I can’t do it. I couldn’t
survive this again. Once was bad enough. I have to be strong
emotionally for our children. That’s what matters now. Not feeding
my aching core.

“Sorry Johnathan. You promised Stacy and I
don’t want to have to tell him you broke your promise.” I spurt out
between my pouty lips.

“Fuck Stacy. I want inside you now baby. I
missed that sweet pussy around my cock.”

My heart is thudding hard in my chest. Is it
five hundred degrees in here or what? I squeeze my legs together
and my clit screams for attention. Nope you stupid bitch you’re not
getting fed today!

I know how to break this sexy talk. Even as
hot as it is. And god I want him bad! No I don’t. Fuck! This has to
stop. His cock looks so juicy and it’s so ready for me. Stop it!
Stop it now!

“I’m sure you didn’t miss my pussy around
your cock when that blonde was sucking you off a few weeks ago.” I
say. I’m not rude about it. It comes out smooth and refined if
that’s possible. I know it’s a low blow but it’ll get him out of
this bullshit mind-set and I can finally get to my hotel room and
take a fucking nap and an ice-cold shower to cool down. My core is
begging to be played with. But that bitch is going to have to get
over it. No food for her today!

“How did you hear about that?” he snaps. His
eyes click from lust to anger.

Good! Pissed off Johnathan is better than
horny. I can deal with pissed off. It’s the horny one I can’t
handle. It does funny things to me that I like way too much.

“I heard the boys talking before the break.
Said she was giving it to ya real good. Must not have been needing
my pussy then.” I say and again I am not bitchy. I am soft and calm
and all together. I am so proud of myself!

“Yeah well… Oh fuck! I don’t care.”

He turns with an attitude and struts into his
bedroom slamming the door shut behind him. Ten minutes later he
comes out fully dressed with a duffle bag slung over his
shoulder.

I stand and walk to the steps without saying
a word to him. He tails me out to greet James who hasn’t budged
from his post outside the bus waiting for me with my luggage. And
we both go into the hotel. James stands with us at the counter and
retrieves our keys and room numbers. All three of us ride up the
elevator to the top floor. All four rooms are next to one another
in a line up.

I stop in front of my door and we are next
door to each other. I bang instead of getting my key out of my
purse and Stacy opens wearing a pair of boxers and nothing else.
Johnathan gets an eyeful of my roomy and he looks none too
happy.

“Hope you have a nice stay.” I say and take
my luggage from James with a polite thank you and in I go into my
room shutting the door behind me.

Stacy and I hang in our room all day. He’s
been tripping over the package that arrived from Kyle this
afternoon. It wasn’t just a letter it was a box full of them.
Apparently Kyle had been sending Stacy letters for the past year
trying to get a hold of him and they were all returned to sender
because Stacy was too chicken shit to open and read them. He never
told me that. So Kyle was mad enough he put them all into a box and
sent them to his ex-wife’s address instead. Smart thinking on his
part because now Stacy is forced to read the whole box full of
unopened letters Kyle wrote to him. It kind of romantic if you
think about it. How many people write letters anymore? With email
and cell phones it’s becoming a dying art form.