Stricken Desire (11 page)

“Doesn’t it look like I do? I also wash off
my makeup and cleanse my face. Do you want me to explain how I how
I pee and wipe too?” I snap.

“Why don’t you like me?” his voice is soft
and low. Very sexy. Well it would have been sexy if it came out of
less of an assholes mouth.

“You make me not like you. I never knew
anything about you or much about the band when I got this job. I
did it for Stacy and his mom, more than anything else. Although I
don’t think his mom deserves shit from him. But that’s neither here
nor there.” I move to the tops of my boobs.

“Can you stop that… you’re distracting.” He
grunts.

“No, I can’t, don’t look if it’s a
problem.”

He jerks back with a ‘humph’ and throws his
arms over his thick broad heavily tattooed chest. I put him on
ignore.

“So anyways…You’re the man who jumped down my
throat the first time we met. So it’s all stemmed from that. It
seems like a woman on your bus was going to kill you. I don’t think
it mattered if I look like this” I motion my hand up and down my
body. “Or if I was some hot leggy blonde that Stacy would probably
end up marrying in two weeks. You’d still have a problem. I know
your rep of being an asshole to women. I knew that from the get go.
Just figured I’d be cool and hang as one of the guys and you’d not
treat me like you do other women.”

“How is it I treat other women?” He asks
surprised.

“Badly.” I blurt. I re-dip my fingers and
move to my neck.

“What woman that I have been with have you
spoken with?”

“None.”

He belts out an arrogant laugh. I snap a
stare at him.

“What’s so funny? Chuckles.”

“You think I’m such a misogynistic pig. But
not one woman I have slept with have you ever spoken with.”

“Well. No. But I am sure it wouldn’t be that
hard. Considering I am sure that your numbers have hit. Well let’s
think….” I tap my finger on my chin “You’ve been famous for four
years. Semi famous for two before that I’m sure. Plus the fact that
you’re sexy and probably just about thirty leaves you at…at… Hold
on.” I put out my finger to have him wait a sec.

So four in high school, plus say ten out if
he didn’t have girlfriends for long, which I’m sure he hasn’t
because he has the romance capacity of a toad. Then one a week for
a year the first two years of the band so that brings him to one
hundred and twenty two. Plus four years of being famous so that
would mean one maybe two more women a week minimally. So that’ll
take him up to I’d guess right around three hundred and twenty.
Give or take thirty, to take into account for his extras or double
or triple timers, and maybe the occasional short-term
relationship.

“Three hundred and twenty sex partners. So
yeah that’s plenty of woman I could seek out. That I am sure would
agree with me.”

“You think I’ve slept with that many women?”
he sounds surprised.

“Mathematically? Yes. It seems accurate of an
assessment.” I nod a couple times biting my lower lip. I lean
against the far side of the room against the wall. It’s chilly on
my back but I welcome it, my temperature since he’s walked into my
room has skyrocketed.

“I don’t think it’s that many.” His face
scrunches up and his arms relax. He looks deep in thought.

“Do you know how many?”

“No… But that seems like a lot.” He face
looks pained. Like maybe I am right and he’s just realizing it.

“Maybe, but it’s probably true. Do you even
remember any of their names?”

“Why? Do you want to seriously seek them out?
Because I don’t know many of them at all. Maybe ten I can
remember.”

I scoff. Eyes wide. “Ten?” I nearly choke on
the word.

“Yeah… listen I don’t want to talk about this
with you. It doesn’t’ matter I’m not that man anymore.”

“Since when?” I roll my eyes. He is so full
of shit.

“Since you came onto the bus.”

I laugh and grab onto my stomach. Oh god that
is so hilarious. Tears are pouring down my face. I can’t help it.
This is so damn funny. I bet he talks to all his difficult lays
this way. I am so not a sucker. Does he think I’m a gullible retard
or what? Please…..Don’t insult my intelligence.

“Yeah and I’m Princess Diana.” I laugh and
wipe my tears from my eyes.

“No you’re not and it’s true. I vow to you
tonight that I won’t have sex with anyone else ever again. I won’t.
I promise.” His deep and dark voice is awakening something primal.
My core screaming his name. My palms are suddenly sticky. This
cannot be happening. I shake my head to rid the cloudiness.

“If you think saying all this is going to get
you into my pants? It’s not. It may work for some women but you
don’t like me and I don’t like you. Plain and simple. You can deal.
I can deal.” God this is so weird. What kind of conversation is
this?

“No your right I don’t LIKE you. I love you.”
He stands up and takes a step towards me. I press harder against
the wall. Oh please don’t come any closer. I don’t want this. And
shit maybe I should have thrown on a parka. This is not a good
idea. Hot rocker who is trying desperately to get into my pants. I
thought Coby was slick. But Johnathan is in a whole other
league.

I gulp hard. He takes another step. Oh
no!

“How many woman have you said that to? Is
this your MO?” I sputter out between trembling lips.

“I’ve never loved anyone in my whole life.”
He purrs. Oh know not that purring again. He’s a cat then he’s a
dog and both sound so hot.

“Yeah whatever John-a… I mean dick wad. You
don’t know what love is.” I say staring straight at the ground. I
can’t look at him and I know it came out all jumbled and rocky. I
know it sounds stupid but I can’t help it. I’m on edge. Good or
bad? I don’t know but I’m there.

“Yes I do. I knew when I saw you standing in
the crowd at the concert.”

I snap my head back “What!”

Oh, holy mother of god. He’s standing two
feet from me. So close I can feel the heat radiating from his
skin.

“Why do you think it took us so long to get
back to the bus?”

I shrug and I have to think hard. I have no
idea. I thought it didn’t take that long. Maybe it did but I didn’t
notice.

“I dunno, to get pussy? Honestly, I didn’t
think it took that long.”

“The guys waited for me in the back and I
sent James out to find you. I was pissed when I got back to the bus
because you were gone. Then you pop around Stacy and who would have
known you’re our new fucking manager. The same woman Stacy has been
going on and on and on about for the past four damn years. The same
damn woman he wants to marry and have babies with is the same woman
I know I want to be with. One hell of a head fuck if you ask
me.”

“Whoa! Let’s back up a few steps. First off
you can’t fall in love with someone when you first see them.
Secondly Stacy doesn’t want my babies or to marry me and thirdly
you realize how fucked up all this sounds and fourthly.” I swallow
hard and look up into his beautiful matching green eyes. “You need
to go sit back down you’re making me nervous.” I point to the
bed.

He grabs my hand and brings it to my lips. I
inhale deeply. Oh, no not the lips. Please not those. They are so
sexy and supple. Pressing his lips softly against the back of my
hand. He inhales my scent. “Mmm you smell so good.”

My body convulses at the contact and my belly
does vigorous jumping jacks. My heart officially aches and I can’t
breathe. I place my free hand over my heart and I’m seriously
flushed. This is not good. Not good at all. I draw my hand back and
my heart nearly shatters into a million tiny little painful
pieces.

“To your first thought yes you can fall in
love that quickly. I didn’t believe it either. Not until I saw you
standing in the front row, your hair up, wearing that hideous tweed
suit top, sweat glistening your face. You looked so sexy and pure
and real. Just like you always do.”

Oh my god. He cannot seriously be saying this
to me and mean it. He sounds like he believes it. Some part of me,
the dirty part of me wants to believe it too. I can’t deny that
he’s hot and I feel something for him. It maybe sickness but maybe
it’s just passion or something else I’ve never encountered before.
I am charting in a whole different kind of waters. But the
self-preservation side of me wants to think he’s full of it and
just trying to sleep with me. But he could do that with just about
any woman he wants. I am confused. Horny and confused. Not good.
Not good at all.

“Emily… Earth to Emily.” He’s waving his
hands in front of my face. Oh shit. I zoned out.

“Yeah… Sorry.”

“What I was saying to the number two of your
observation is that yes Stacy does feel that way. I’m close friends
with the guy. Every time he’d talk to you on the phone he’d be
going on and on and on about how he feels afterward. He sounded
like a chick. But I listened because we’ve been buds for a
longtime. Also that’s how you got the job. Yes, he wants to see his
mom but I think it gave him a real reason to talk you into coming
here. I was the one who agreed to hire you. REALLY glad I did now.
But before I was just doing it for him because he’s been such a
great manager.”

“You hired me? I thought the record company
did?” More confusion this night can’t get any weirder. I swear.

“Do you not know anything about me? You
didn’t read up on any of us did you?”

I twiddle my thumbs together and exhale
loudly. “Um… No?”

“That’s what I figured. Most women know
everything about me there is to know in the world’s view that is.
But when you said I’m thirty and know nothing about the record
company. I figured as much. “

“Sorry.” I pout. He is right I know nothing
about them. I didn’t care to find out. I know tabloid shit is
usually only based a little on fact and the rest of made up. So I
figured coming into this world I’d find out firsthand. Looking back
now it would have been a little smarter to prep myself.

He laughs and runs his large hand through his
dark and sexy hair. “No it’s okay. And I’m not thirty I’m twenty
eighty. The record company is mine. I own it so yes I guess it was
me by means of the record company who hired you.”

“Ah… that makes sense now.” I bob my head.
Yep, charting into retard awkward territory.

“See…We are learning more and more and we
haven’t argued in like five minutes. We are headed in the right
direction. And for number three it’s not fucked up it’s the truth
and sometimes fate deals a dicey set of cards. And four I will sit
down if that will make you feel better. But I am going to be
honest. I want to touch you. “

Oh yeah there is comes. Get to it now and
just tell me you want to fuck me. That’s where this is headed
anyway. The air is clouded with pheromones I can even smell it.

“And No don’t be over thinking this.” He
gestures to us. “I don’t want to fuck you.”

I scoff and on the verge of rolling my eyes
he cuts in.

“Okay. Okay. I do want to make love to you
but not right now I don’t. How’s that for honesty?” he perks up his
eyes brow and grins.

“Fine. I will talk and try not to be a bitch.
Just sit down on the edge of the bed.” I fold my arms over my
chest. I forgot I have been standing around in my bra and panties.
Having a conversation this naked, wasn’t how this should have gone
down. He sits down again. A large weight is lifted off my shoulders
but at the same time I kind of wish it was still there. His
distance hurts. My heart is truly aching. Glancing down at the skin
over my heart I rub it a little.

“See I knew I wasn’t the only one.”

I look up at him “Huh?” I bunch up my
nose.

“Your heart hurts doesn’t it?” he says
seriously, not mocking or rude. Just firm and sensual. In his very
warm panty dropping voice. That’s its new title.

“No.” I blurt, way to quickly I know he won’t
believe me. I should have planned that expression out a little
better. Damnit.

He grins. “Yes it does.”

“So what. It doesn’t mean anything.” I whine
and cross my arms over my chest again. Hugging myself.

“If that’s what you want to think that’s
okay. You’ll realize it soon enough. I get to you. Bad.” He grins
again. His grin is sexier than his smile. It’s seductive and
sinister. Just looking at it my belly jumps again and my heart
thumps hard in my chest. It has to be like five hundred degrees in
this godforsaken room. Phew!

“Yeah so. I get you to too?” Talk about lame.
I can’t even sound straightforward with that. I am so losing my
game. Where’d it go? Maybe I should look under the bed? Or in the
bathroom. It has to be hiding somewhere in the hotel room.

“Yes. You do. I walk around with a hard on
every time I see you or think about you and it doesn’t ever want to
go down either. Trust me it sucks having a stiffy eighty percent of
the day.”

My mouth falls open. I never thought of him
being honest. An asshole yes, to pushy yes. But bluntly honest. Not
so much.

I cough “That much?”

He laughs and it’s a full belly contagious
one I can’t help but join in.

“Yes, my darling. That much.”

Cue the singing heart. Jesus. His man has a
way with words. My pussy is sopping wet. I can’t stop but think
about what he is doing to my heart and now my nether regions. My
breasts are sore desperate to be touched. My clit and pounding
between my legs I can feel the beat of my heart in it. I look down
to see if it’s grown in size and is pulsing because that would be
even more embarrassing.

I gaze up and he’s watching me look at
myself. Oh please no don’t talk about this too. Just ignore it
please Johnathan. Man his name is sexy but it’s a mouthful. He
seriously needs a nickname from me. I’ve seemed to have adopted a
few from him one that I’m seriously beginning to like. John sounds
stupid and reminds me of John Smith from Pocahontas. So not how I
see him. J is okay but not good. I don’t like the way it rolls off
my tongue. Big man now that sounds like a good one. He’s big and
he’s a man. Self-explanatory and rather sexy too. Maybe he’ll let
me call him that. I’m sure it’ll make him happier than asshole or
dickhead. Those words I use on him often when I refer to him but
after tonight I know I can’t do that ever again. Well probably not.
We shall see.