Stepbrother Forever: A Stepbrother Romance (15 page)

Chapter 23

I join my parents for
breakfast before I leave to go back to my apartment. I’m not hungry, but have
some toast and a little coffee to appease my mother. I don’t want her to worry
that something is wrong. I smile when I say goodbye, give her a big hug, and
assure her that I am fine. My stepfather gives me a ride to the train station
and I am back in my apartment before noon.

I stop
at the drug store and pick up a pregnancy test before I go back to my apartment.
I need to see for myself. Maybe the doctor was wrong and I’m worrying about
nothing. I get home, put my things down, and go straight into the bathroom to
take the test. It barely takes two minutes for the line to appear—it’s
positive. I don’t know why I thought it wouldn’t be, but I had a little hope. I
start to cry again.

I
collapse onto the couch. I’ve been holding it in since yesterday and it is such
a relief to just let it go. I’m not just sad, I’m angry and confused and
frustrated. I kick the coffee table in front of me and then hug my knees to my
chest and cry some more. Getting a major role in a movie is life-changing.
Finding out you’re pregnant is life-changing, too, but they’re two totally
different kinds of changes. I won’t have time now to even begin my career. My
life will be all about this child.

I
continue to cry and let myself be upset until I calm down enough to think
rationally. I need to make some decisions with a clear head. I’ll do some
research online to get some info about being pregnant, then the first thing I
need to do is see an OB/GYN to get checked out and make sure everything is
okay. Once I do that, I need to figure out what the hell I’m doing. I can’t
live here. I can’t be walking up three flights of stairs every day, not when
I’m very pregnant, and not with a baby and all the
fun
accessories they come with. I’m going to have to stay with my
parents, which means I’m also going to have to tell them. I have to tell Ryan
first, though. Oh my God, this is crazy.

I
finally stop crying and switch into “action” mode. I can be sad and angry, but
I also need to get things done. I look online for some ratings and find a
doctor near my apartment to make an appointment with. If I’m not going to tell
anyone yet, I can’t be going back home and having my mother take me to the
doctor. I call the office that appears to be the best choice and make an
appointment. I stay on my computer and look up random facts and information
about pregnancy and my body, and all the important stuff that I should probably
be aware of.

I’m
going to have to make so many changes, and there won’t be a way to hide this
forever. I don’t know how I am going to do that, anyway. I really need to talk
to someone—as much as I hate to admit it, I need help. I’ve been keeping too
many secrets lately and the stress and anxiety of it all is too much for me,
and I’m sure too much for the baby, as well.

I think
about it for a while and come to the decision that I will tell Tara. I need to
talk it through with her. Maybe she can give me some advice or help or just
listen so I can get all these secrets off my chest. I feel bad not telling Ryan
or my mother first, but I’m desperate right now. I can’t wait until I get to
California, and I can’t tell my mother until he knows and we have some sort of
plan. I think it’s the best decision for now.

I have
to work tonight, so I send Tara a text and ask if she wants to have coffee
tomorrow. She agrees so we pick a place and plan to meet. I save some of the
web pages I had been looking at and copy down the doctor’s info. I get in the
shower and get ready for my shift. I realize while I’m getting ready that
bartending is something else I won’t be able to do while I’m pregnant. I’ll put
that on the list of things in my life that are going to change.

Ken is
at the bar when I arrive. I haven’t seen him in a while and he’s all smiles and
full of his usual wise cracks and one liners. I put on my best act and smile
along with him, acting as if nothing is wrong.

“You
look different, Eve,” he says when I hand him his second beer.

I
immediately put my hands on my belly. It’s not any bigger, but my response was
automatic.

“I
don’t think you gained weight,” Ken says, laughing at my reaction. “You look
beautiful, as always.”

That’s
all that was said about it, but I see I’m obviously self-conscious about it
already. I might have to go back to hiding in my apartment and avoiding contact
with my friends and family until I’m ready to come out and tell everyone.

The
rest of the night goes on in usual fashion, a little less crowded than we’ve
been because of the time of year. Ken says goodnight and it was actually nice
to see him. He’s an acquaintance, not really a friend, so the only things he
knows about me are what I choose to share. It’s nice to have someone like that
in my life.

I get
home pretty late and I’m exhausted. I have to work again tomorrow night which
I’m dreading now—I’m just so tired. I get right into bed and fall fast asleep.
After work and two days of crying and thinking, it’s exactly what I need.

I feel
somewhat better the next morning, but not great. I’m nauseous when I wake up
again and still a little tired. I’m meeting Tara in a couple of hours so I have
some tea and take my time getting dressed and ready to go. I bundle up because
it’s still so cold out and walk the short distance to the café that’s between
our apartments. Tara is already there waiting for me.

“Hey,
girl!” she says excitedly, giving me a hug.

“Hey,”
I reply. I’m anxious about our meeting, but I’m not sure if she notices.

The
hostess seats us and we order drinks. I get another cup of tea. My stomach is
still a little upset and I’m cold from my walk. I ask Tara what’s new with her.
Other than the couple of classes we took together, we haven’t spent much time
together at all. She tells me about the audition she went on and hopes to snag,
and also about a date she went on last night that was awful. I feel bad because
I’m only partially listening. I keep thinking about what I’m going to say when
it’s my turn to talk.

“So,
what’s up with you?” Tara asks. It’s such a simple question, but I’m having a
hard time coming up with an answer.

“Not
much,” I say with a shrug.

“Is it
weird with Ryan gone? How’s he doing?”

“It’s a
little strange. He says he’s doing really well. He’s loving California and says
his costars are great.”

“Is
that who he was partying with on New Year’s Eve? I wonder if he hooked up with
any famous actresses,” Tara says, caught up in the Hollywood drama as usual.

This is
starting to get awkward for me, I need to take control of the conversation. “I
don’t think so. I mean, I hope not.”

“What
do you mean?” Tara asks anxiously. She can tell I’m holding back.

“Well,
Ryan and I are kind of in a relationship,” I say. “I mean, I don’t know what we
are. He called me his girlfriend. He wants me to come to California. It’s just
so weird.”

“What?”
Tara asks incredulously. “When did this happen?”

“Right
before he left. He told me he loved me, and I think I love him,” I answer more
freely now.

“I knew
it!” she cries. “I always knew you guys would hook up! You and your
stepbrother! So scandalous! This is Cruel Intentions sexy. I love it.”

I smile
wanly. “Yeah. It’s great, I guess. The timing is terrible though. We realized
we are in love, and then he left.”

“You
should go to California, Eve. Why not? It would be amazing.”

“I’m
going to visit, but I don’t know, it’s just so soon. He has so much going on,
and I don’t want to feel like I’m just there to tag along,” I tell her.

“I
think he would be happy to have you there. It’s so obvious that he always loved
you.”

“There’s
more,” I say after a time. “Tara, we did something so stupid.”

“Did
you elope?” she asks.

“No,” I
pause. “I’m pregnant.”

There
it is. I said it out loud. It is officially true, and someone else knows. I can
breathe a little easier already. Tara just stares at me. I think she might be
in shock, just like I was when I heard.

“Holy
shit,” she finally says. “What did Ryan say?”

“I
haven’t told him yet. I haven’t told anyone yet. I just found out two days ago.
I’ve been so upset and scared. I had to tell someone, but I didn’t want to tell
him over the phone.” I’m talking fast, trying to get everything off my chest.

“Holy
shit,” Tara says again. “What are you going to do? Girl you better be keeping
the baby…”

“I’m
keeping it. I made an appointment to see the doctor, and I’ll take it from
there. I will be in California in a couple of weeks and I’ll tell Ryan then.
You can’t tell anyone. Not yet. I have to tell Ryan, first.”

“Of
course,” she assures me. “This is crazy, Eve. I did not expect to be having
this conversation today, especially not with you.”

“Yeah,
it wasn’t really a planned event,” I answer drily.

“Well,
congratulations,” Tara says. “How are you? How do you feel? I have so many questions…”

I fill
her in on how I’ve been feeling and what I know so far, which isn’t much. I
tell her about a lot of what I’ve been thinking and how I’m going to see Ryan.
I expect him to be shocked but okay about the news, and she agrees, although
you never know in situations like this. I also haven’t seen him in over a
month, at this point, so I don’t know what he has going on that he hasn’t told
me about.

I’m
glad I opened up to Tara. It feels so good to get all of this off my chest and
actually talk to someone about it. I feel better knowing that she agrees with a
lot of my thoughts and can help me rationalize everything.

We
spend almost two hours at the café together. Tara promises she will keep my
secret for now, and whatever I need, she will help me. She’s going to come to
my first appointment with me for support, which means the world to me. It will
be much easier having someone by my side, even if it’s not Ryan.

We hug
goodbye and Tara squeezes me. “I promise everything will work out. Thank you for
telling me. Next time, don’t wait so damn long.”

“Thank
you for being such a good friend,” I reply.

We
leave and go our separate ways, and I walk home feeling like a big weight has
been lifted off my shoulders. When I get home, I text her the doctor appointment
info so she can make herself available to come. I thank her again and then get
ready for work again tonight.

Chapter 24

I work through the
weekend and spend my free time sleeping. Every time I speak to Ryan, I want to
tell him, but I can’t. Things are going well between us, and this long-distance
relationship we’ve formed seems to be working out. We’re both looking forward
to my trip to California, which is just over a week away. I can’t wait to see
him, and he’s excited to show me around and introduce me to everyone he’s met.
I really hope he takes the news of my pregnancy as well as I expect him to.

Tara
comes with me to my doctor’s appointment. The staff there is super friendly and
happy about pregnancy and babies, which is a good thing, considering it’s their
job. They are warm and welcoming and make me feel good about my situation even
more by not judging me. I’m single and here with a friend, which doesn’t seem
so much like the norm around here.

The
doctor is pleasant. She does an ultrasound and informs me that I’m just about
seven weeks along. Tara and I are both enchanted by the sound of the heartbeat;
this is so new to both of us. I’m still filled with a lot of fear and doubt,
but hearing the heartbeat and knowing there is really a little life growing
inside me makes me think it will all be worth it.

I wish
my mother was here to share in the joy I’m now feeling. I think once she gets
over the surprise of it all, she’ll be delighted to know she’s going to be a
grandma. I hope my stepfather will get on board with the rest of us and share
in the happiness, but it may take him a while. I’m anxious to tell Ryan. It’s
too bad I don’t have a recording of this to show him.

I make
my next appointment before I leave. Tara and I go to the diner after to have
some lunch and talk. She is thrilled and already calling herself “auntie.” I
wish she could be there when I tell Ryan. Tara is much more emotional than me
in general, and her feelings about this baby are contagious. I’m actually thinking
of taking her with me when it’s time to tell my parents, but I don’t think they
would appreciate her knowing before them.

We
finish our lunch and I’m feeling pretty good. I don’t have to work today, so I
run a couple of errands on my way back to the apartment. I plan on staying home
and not doing much of anything. Since I’m in an unusually good mood, I call my
mother to talk to her. I’ve been so down, and I know she’s worried about me.
I’m sure she will appreciate hearing me in good spirits, and she does.

We talk
for a while and I let her know I’m working a lot before I leave for California
so I probably won’t see her. I could really take the time to visit, but I don’t
want to see her or my stepfather until I’m ready to tell them the news. I hate
lying to them.

I
breeze through the rest of the week; working and sleeping and getting ready for
my trip. Ryan sends me texts throughout each day, making me smile. He’s eager
to see me and says he has a surprise—little does he know, I have a bigger one
in store for him.