Steel & Ice (29 page)

“
Oh, sorry.” I knew this
drill. Why was I freaking out? “I’m sorry.”

“
Ma’am, I just wanted to say
thank you for bringing those girls in today. They would’ve never
come on their own, but with your help we might’ve just kept two
more young women from having an unintended pregnancy. Coming here
today could mean the difference between them being teen parents, or
graduating high school and going to college. Not that teen parents
can’t do those things, but it’s a lot easier when you don’t have a
child to care for. They’re lucky to have someone like you in their
life who is willing to come here with them.”

I was speechless. “Um, thanks.” Really, I
had no idea what to say. The previous night I’d been bagging weed
to sell so I could buy text books, and today this woman was telling
me Genesis and Angelica were lucky to have me in their lives.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you in three months.” I shook the nurse’s
hand and took the girls home. There wasn’t a lot of conversation on
the way back to Genesis’s house. I was sorta in a daze,
contemplating the last twenty-four hours. The girls were abnormally
quiet, but I figured it’d been an intense morning for them, so I
didn’t press for conversation.

I pulled up to Genesis’s house and reminded
the girls one more time. “I’m proud of you. You did something very
responsible today and it took guts. You should feel good knowing
you’re taking control of your body and making sure you’re safe. You
both have the condoms the nurse gave you?” Both girls held up their
brown paper bags. “I also want to remind you that this never
happened. Right?” They both nodded. “Ok, well there’s no program
tonight, so I’ll see you next week. And we’ll go back to the clinic
in three months, yeah?”

Angelica leaned into the car and hugged me.
“Thanks Elle. You’re muy chida.”

“
We think you’re cool,”
Genesis chimed in.

“
My pleasure ladies. Enjoy
the rest of your Christmas vacation.”

I waved good bye and drove off. Once home, I
packed a bag before going to J’s. It was back to work on
Thursday.

******

After J and I had dinner, clam chowder in
bread bowls, and then desert, whip cream that we ate off each
other, I was once again laying in his arms. “Should we change the
sheets?” I asked him.

“
In a minute. I’m not ready
to move yet.”

“
Mmmm, me neither.” I
snuggled into him. We were sticky, but I was oblivious to it as I
basked in the afterglow of the orgasms I stopped counting at some
point. “I had an interesting morning.”

“
Why’s that?”

“
I took two teenage girls to
Planned Parenthood.”

J laughed. “When will the things that come
out of your mouth stop amazing and intriguing me?”

I shrugged. “Maybe never.”

“
Hopefully. Who were these
girls?”

“
They’re from the teen
program I volunteer with.”

J looked at me like I had a second head
growing out of my neck. “You volunteer with teens?”

“
I haven’t told you?” Hmmm.
I guess that one had slipped my mind. I’d been tight lipped about
it with Chris for so long. I guess I forgot J didn’t know either.
“That’s what I do on Wednesday evenings.”

“
I’m not even sure what to
say. Do we talk about this?” J asked.

“
The volunteering or the
trip to Planned Parenthood?”

“
Either one, I
guess.”

“
They were having sex and
needed to be on birth control. So I took them.” I said it straight
up, like it was the obvious thing to do. At least it was to
me.

“
Fuck Elle, I never asked if
you were on birth control. I’m sorry. I just assumed since we
stopped using condoms, and the test results and all—“ he trailed
off. “Fuck. Is everything OK?”

His concern was one of the many sweet things
about this giant of a man I’d come to adore. “I have the IUD.”

“
The what?”

“
Don’t worry. I’m covered.
No babies. But if I get some crazy STD test results back, I might
have to stab you.”

J laughed. I didn’t. He didn’t know I was
serious, but he figured it out real quick. “I’m good. You saw. And
there hasn’t been anyone for a long time.”

Now I was the one laughing. “I find that
hard to believe,” I scoffed.

“
You’re not the only one
with dry spells. After Kate I was a little jaded. Didn’t really get
close to anyone for a while. I got a blow job here and there but
couldn’t bring myself to do the deed with anyone. Plus, other
things were on my mind.”

“
We don’t need to talk about
this now. So long as there’s no burning pee, we don’t need to talk
about past lovers. I don’t want to know about yours, and I assume
you don’t want to know about mine.”

“
Why Eleanor, I thought you
were a virgin before I met you,” J said, with a twinkle in his
eye.

I used his signature wink on him. “Of course
I was.” I snuggled in closer. “Are we going to change the
sheets?”

He let out a loud belly laugh. “Hop in the
shower. I’ll change the sheets and meet you in there.”

I kissed him. “You’re amazing.”

“
I know.”

I smacked him as I got up and walked to the
bathroom. “Hurry up, Mr. Amazing!”

“
Yes, Mrs. Amazing.” Ohhhhh.
Mrs. I should’ve been freaked out, but I found myself looking into
the mirror, and seeing a woman covered in sticky whip cream residue
with a giant smile on her face.

Chapter 14

Sometimes life changes and you don’t even
realize it. One day a slow progression of changes suddenly becomes
apparent. Other times, change happens like a flash of lightening
and your life is different in a blink of an eye. Both can be scary
or exciting. It can make or break you, or your life. My life was
changing, and I was moderately aware. It was an exciting change. A
good change, so I didn’t notice enough to analyze. That was the
tricky thing about slow change; you didn’t have the opportunity to
weigh the pros and cons. It wasn’t a raging river, it was a
babbling brook that lulled you into security.

A new routine formed after
the New Year. I saw J a few times a week. Sometimes four or five
times, sometimes just once or twice. He was gone for a day here and
there, or a few days if necessary. I knew his trips always
involved
business
.
I didn’t ask, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t curious. He often came
to my place after I was already in bed. More than not, he showered
before he got in bed with me. Some nights, he’d crawl in bed and
curl his body around mine, both us surrendering to sleep quickly.
Other nights, he’d come to bed and we’d have sex. Desperate sex.
Like he’d had a bad night, and was clutching me as if his life
depended on it. Those nights, I usually had multiple orgasms before
falling into a sex induced coma. I don’t think he fell right asleep
though, which is weird for guys, right?

I also started noticing
little things about him. Outside of New Year’s, he wore a standard
wardrobe of jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies. He flipped between
Jordans and boots. I saw mostly Jordans though. I think the boots
were for
business
.
His hair looked perfect all the time. Morning, night, after having
my hands in it for hours. It was like he was immune to hat head. He
once caught me staring at his hair, and laughed when I told him my
theory on his hat head immunity.

He wasn’t flashy or overly outgoing, but he
had a presence about him. Of course, some of it was his size. That
alone called attention to him when he walked into a room. Crowds
naturally parted for him. He wasn’t quiet, but he chose his words
with care. He wasn’t a verbal vomiter, as Aaron could be at times
(though I loved Aaron for this). No, J chose each word that left
his mouth deliberately.

Like me, he had his public and private face.
In private, he was quick to laugh. I loved hearing his laugh
because it was deep and real. In public, you were lucky to get a
full smile from him. He wasn’t overly touchy in public. This worked
for me, as I was not one for major public displays of affection.
Now fucking in the alley behind the bar, eh, that was a different
matter.

He did touch me though, in subtle ways that
let people in public know I was his and he was mine. He’d put his
hand on my shoulder as we walked, or wrap his arm around my waist
when we were standing in line at Starbucks. In the past, these
subtle, yet possessive gestures would have sent me running for the
hills. From J, I ate it up. I found myself falling harder and
harder for him as the days passed.

We were lying in bed one unseasonably warm
night in March. The window was open, and a slight breeze blew over
me as I lay in J’s arms. He was drawing random shapes on my back
with his fingers, as he often did on various parts of my body while
we lay in the afterglow of the always amazing sex we had. I was
tracing the eagle on his shoulder.

“
You wanna ride
tomorrow?”

I looked up at him. “I get to ride finally?
Fuck yeah!”

“
I didn’t know you were so
anxious.”

“
You remember that first
night at Checks when I saw you? I was in my work clothes?” He
nodded. “I saw you in the corner with your boys. Somehow I knew you
guys owned the shiny bikes sitting outside. I imagined riding on
the back of yours. Jesse and Larry kept calling me on my lack of
conversational participation.”

“
Conversational
participation?” J quirked an eyebrow.

I laughed. “I wasn’t saying much. I was lost
in fantasies about you and that bike. When your friends pulled off
and you saw me outside, the rumble of the bikes… Fuck, I felt it
between my legs. I’m pretty sure that was the first night you
starred in my masturbation fantasies.”

He was quiet for a second. Shit, had I say
too much? Sometimes my mouth got away with me. I thought it was
part of what J liked about me, but I was thinking I might need to
reassess.

“
Damn, Elle. I was just
about to fall into a nice peaceful sleep, but I’m hard as a fucking
rock now.” He grabbed my hand and put it on his cock to prove it. I
guess there was no need to reassess. “I swear you have no idea how
the shit that comes out of that mouth of yours affects
me.”

“
Um.” Yeah, how does one
respond to that? You’re welcome?

My speechlessness drew a gentle rumble out
of J. “Don’t laugh at me.”

He rolled over, and wrapped his arms
underneath me, so his forearms supported my back and my head rested
in his giant hands. “I’m not laughing at you. It’s a compliment. I
love discovering all the layers of Elle. And your masturbation
fantasies are one helluva layer.” He chuckled again. “And it’s why
I can’t get enough of you. You keep surprising me. I wait for the
day when I know every inch of your mind like I know every inch of
your body. But I hope that day never comes, cuz I love discovering
new layers of you.” He laid a gentle kiss on my lips.

I wrapped my arms around his
torso and returned his kiss. “I guess this ride is another one
of
your
layers for
me to discover. I mean, I know you ride, and I know about your cut
and all, but it hasn’t really seemed real yet, especially in ten
degree weather. This ain’t Sons of Anarchy, and we sure as hell
ain’t living in Cali. Sigh.”

“
Did you just sigh? Like say
‘sigh’?”

“
Uh, yeah?”

J shook his head. “I fucking love that.”

I reached up and cradled his face in my
hands. “You make me feel normal.”

His eyebrows pulled together. “Why wouldn’t
you be normal?”

“
Because I said ‘sigh’
instead of just doing it. And a myriad of other things. And I can
use myriad and fucktard in the same sentence probably. I don’t
know. These traits didn’t exactly make me Ms. Popular growing up. I
was kinda the weird kid.”

He leaned down and pulled my ear lobe into
his mouth. I think I actually did sigh at that. As he trailed
kisses behind my ear and down below it, I think I might have moaned
as well. “You’re not weird. You’re perfect. And you’re mine,” he
whispered.

I reached between us, and grabbed his cock.
It was still hard as marble. I rubbed it back and forth over my
opening before slipping it in. I kissed his temple and whispered
back, “You’re perfect. In so many ways.” I raised my hips, and
clenched my walls to pull him all the way in. He moved slowly,
pulling almost out before gradually pushing all the way back in. We
leisurely brought each other to orgasm, yet lay utterly exhausted
afterwards.

I was curled on my side, my back to his
front. He pulled me into our usual position, his arms caging me to
his body. It had become the safest place I‘d ever experienced. I
was drifting off to sleep when I thought I heard him murmur, “I
think I could love you, Eleanor Skye.” It might have just been in
my dreams though.

******

Things at the center had fallen into a
routine after the New Year as well. The teens went back to school,
and we resumed Wednesday programming. Sometimes if I didn’t work
the evening shift and was caught up on my school work, I’d pop in
to cook dinner on random days of the week. Penny was always glad,
as it meant she didn’t have to cook. The teens were happy, because
it meant they weren’t going to be eating pizza for the hundredth
time. I gave Penny a list of different foods she could buy that I
could use to make the teens dinner. Ravioli and grilled cheese with
ham and tomato were their favorites. I could give a damn if a
customer at Applebee’s like the steak I cooked them, but it gave me
weird gratification when the kids told me how good my cooking
was.