Splintered Memory (5 page)

Matt and Charlie
were like no other couple that Emily had ever seen before. They were perfect together, completely harmonious and always genuinely happy when around each other. They seemed to think and act as one, and the way that they behaved with each other was both sweet and at times incredibly romantic.

Matt gravitated
round Charlie like she was earth and he was the moon, and Charlie looked at Matt like the child who’d been given everything that she could have imagined or wished for at Christmas. 

Emily
had been surprised initially at how together they were. It had never occurred to her before that two people could have the kind of relationship that Matt and Charlie obviously had. Yet the more that she’d watched them the more that she’d begun to idealise what they shared, and she hadn’t been able to help but fall in love with some of their habits.

She lo
ved the way that they left messages for each other on the small blackboard that hung in their kitchen by the back door. She loved that Matt, when he thought that Charlie may have overdone it with the girls on a night in or out, would sneak back to the house from the hospital to wake her with a steaming shop bought coffee. She liked how Charlie would sometimes put Matt to bed when he had been at the hospital for the better part of two or more days, and then come back downstairs to sleep on the sofa so as to prevent her own alarm for work waking him.

In the
time that she’d known them she’d rarely seen them argue, but on the very rare occasions that she had it had always been about the same thing. It had always been about Claire, Charlie’s best friend. Matt didn’t like her, and he definitely didn’t trust. Charlie on the other hand refused to hear a bad word said against her.

Emily
had always struggled to understand how this had happened. She’d struggled to understand how two people so at one in all aspects of their life, could be this deeply divided over one person.

He
raced down the hospital corridor towards the ambulance bay, and he hoped that the three incoming casualties could be treated quickly. He wanted to get out of the hospital as soon as possible. Not only was he dead on his feet, but he was also supposed to be meeting Charlie at their favourite Chinese restaurant.

Matt
knew that he was going to be late as it had already gone seven, but he was hoping that he could avoid being really late. He knew that Charlie wouldn’t mind or even comment on his lateness, she was after all used to it from him, but just recently they’d been arguing a lot and he wanted to put things right between them.

On top of this the
ir last fight had been a couple of days ago, and he’d been paged by the hospital right in the middle of it. Since then he hadn’t been able to get away to make it up with her. He hadn’t even had the chance to speak to her on the phone, and he wondered how many missed calls and messages he’d have waiting on his mobile.

He also had the feeling that tonight was intended to be a celebration
. Charlie had been working even longer hours than normal for her recently, and she’d been talking about the possibility of being promoted. He was so proud of her and he wanted them to have a good night, especially if they were celebrating a promotion for her.

H
e looked at his watch again, and he really hoped that he could be out of the hospital in an hour.

She
was in a rush to get home and she knew that she was driving too fast, but she hadn’t told Matt that she’d gone to Bath to see Claire and she was hoping to avoid having to tell him. She’d known that if she had or if she did it would only lead to another argument between them, and they’d been arguing enough about Claire recently she thought.

Charlie hoped that given that Matt had been called into work in the middle of their last argument – also about Claire, and hadn’t returned any of her calls since, this meant that he’d been stuck at the hospital for the past couple of days. If this was the case, then she knew that he wouldn’t have had the chance to notice that she’d bee
n away. Yet as she thought this she felt awful. She hated keeping the truth from him, she’d always hated keeping the truth from him, but she was in an untenable situation. She was torn between her best friend and her husband.

Her friendship with Claire had always been a cause of dispute with Matt. The two of them just didn’t see eye to eye on anything, including her. They’d always bickered, but somehow she’d always been able to remain neutra
l. That had all changed though when Claire had started dating Nick. Somehow it seemed that their fledgling relationship had been the catalyst for all of her arguments with Matt, but it had only been recently that she’d realised just how much of a toll her friendship with Claire had and was having on her relationship with Matt.

She couldn’t remember a time when they’d ever argued the way that they had been recently, and she knew that she owed it to him to address this with Claire.
Charlie knew that Matt was the most important person to her, and that if something had to give in her life it’d never be him. Yet at the same time she owed Claire more than just a call to tell her this.

There was also another issue. Charlie had
never once broken a promise to Claire, and she’d promised her on her birthday to go with her when she went for her abortion. That had been today, and Charlie hadn’t felt right going back on her word. If she was honest she also hadn’t wanted to, despite knowing how angry Matt would be if he knew where she’d been today.

She pressed her foot down harder on the accelerator and glanced at the time again. She was running late, and she knew that if she wanted to avoid having another argument with Matt about Claire then she needed to
hurry. She’d told him to meet her in town at eight as they were going to their favourite Chinese restaurant, and she knew that she needed to go home first.

She wanted to get back, unpack, shower and change. She wanted to look good tonight, because she knew that when she told Matt her news they’d be celebrating. She also knew that he was going to be shocked, but equally delighted when he heard what she had to tell him.

Charlie had initially booked the table hoping to be able to tell him that she’d been made a senior associate at work, but she’d found out a few days ago that she hadn’t been promoted. To her surprise though, she hadn’t felt downcast about this news. It just hadn’t seemed to matter quite as much to her as she’d thought it would, although she had wondered if her reaction might’ve had something to do with her having found out only hours earlier that she was pregnant.

She knew
that Matt was going to be ecstatic when she told him. He’d wanted to start a family for a while now, but she knew that he hadn’t wanted to push her. He understood the demands of her career, just as she understood his, and he knew that she was devoted to making partner.

Charlie was still devoted to making partner one day, but now she didn’t feel that there was quite so much of a rush about it. She’d also started to wonder if she might like to change roles. She’d been at her current firm since she’d left uni, and of late she’d
started to find the daily grind less and less enjoyable.

She’d thought that maybe she’d like to move away from a large firm and go in house with a company, or perhaps just move to a smaller firm. Yet after seeing everything that Claire had been going through recently, she’d realised just how much she wanted to have a family with Matt. She’d known that she hadn’t wanted to put it off anymore, especially not just for the sake of her career.

Charlie hated that she’d been lying to him about work, about Claire, and about being pregnant. She felt guilty that he didn’t know but Claire did. They’d never kept secrets from each other, but until she’d made the decision about her career for herself she hadn’t wanted to discuss it with him. She’d known that he’d worry that she was giving up something that she’d always wanted in order for them to have a family, and she hadn’t wanted his worries or guilt about her career to make her doubt her own decision. She also hadn’t wanted to raise his hopes about them having a baby, if she hadn’t been one hundred percent sure that she had wanted to start a family.

The very last thing she’d wanted to do was to
tease him with the idea that they should try for a baby, only to change her mind. It wouldn’t have been fair on him. Unfortunately the problem was, when she’d finally made the decision to come off the pill they’d been arguing so much about Claire that she’d forgotten to tell him. So she knew that he didn’t even know that they’d been trying for a baby, which she felt sure was only going to add his surprise tonight.

She looked again at her watch
anxiously and breathed a sigh of relief. It was a quarter to five, and she knew now that it was okay. She was just coming off the M5 and onto the Bristol Road. If she really stepped on it she could be home just before five, which would give her enough time to hide her bag before Matt got home.

She knew
that she was making the assumption that he’d end his shift on time, which wasn’t all that likely, but she thought that it was better to be safe than sorry. She knew that if he beat her back home then she’d have to explain where she’d been, and then they’d argue and she’d never get the chance to tell him that she was pregnant. 

Glancing
into the rear view mirror, she didn’t see the car in the lane next to her suddenly swerve into hers. Charlie slammed on the brakes, but it was too late. She heard the sound of her car hitting the one in front a second before she felt the impact of it. Her face smashed against the steering wheel and everything went dark.

She’d
been supposed to meet Charlie for a glass of wine, but when she arrived at Matt and Charlie’s the back door was wide open. She smiled as she walked straight in, just as everyone always did at Matt and Charlie’s, and she shut the door behind her. She’d long since gotten used to it being left open by Matt, and shut by Charlie when she’d lived with them.

She loved their house
. Coming in from the backdoor you were immediately in their kitchen. It wasn’t big, but it was cosy. It also had just enough room for a small round table in the middle of it, which Matt used as a general dumping ground for his coat, keys, bag, and whatever else he had on him.

The kitc
hen led straight onto the living room, and as Emily headed on through she stopped dead in her tracks. Matt was stood on one side of the living room and Charlie was stood on the other, and it was clear that they were right in the middle of a very heated argument.

“W
hy is it too much for me to say that I’m sick of her putting all of her shit on you?” Matt yelled.

“She’s my best friend. I shouldn’t confide her secrets to you, but I do because you’re my husband and I don’t want to keep any secrets from you. But her shit is my shit
,” Charlie retorted.

Matt sneered.

“Fuck you!” Charlie said angrily.

“So her being able to confide in
you is more important than our relationship?” Matt asked.

“
No, but you’re being ridiculous! You’re my husband,” Charlie said. “You’ll always come first, but I won’t apologise for taking my friends feelings into account. Yes Claire’s fucked up, and I’m not denying that. But,” she continued as Matt went to intercede; “she does love Nick in her own way, and you shouldn’t be so eager all the time to ruin what they have.”

“Me ruin it?
You’re joking right? What if things were the other way around? What if I confided in you that Nick had been fooling around and had gotten some other girl pregnant? Are you telling me that you wouldn’t be straight on the phone to Claire?” Matt demanded.

Charlie looked at him and opened her mouth to retort, but then
she closed it again. Emily watched as Charlie’s face faltered as she realised that she didn’t have a response, and she slowly sank down onto the sofa and put her head in her hands. Emily saw the anger in Matt’s face drain as he too watched Charlie, and she followed him with her eyes as he walked across the room to sit down next to her.

“I’m
sorry,” Charlie said looking up into Matt’s face. “I hadn’t thought of it like that. I’d only seen things from Claire’s perspective. I’ll speak to her, and I won’t put you in the middle again I promise. But please, for now, for me, promise not to say anything to Nick,” she asked him softly as she put her hand delicately to his face and turned her body to face him.

“Charl
ie,” Matt said. Unfortunately his tone had already let him down by sounding defeated.

“Please
,” Charlie said sweetly. To which Emily watched Charlie smile and flash her big brown eyes at Matt. She then kissed his chin, his cheeks, and finally his lips. A knot formed in Emily’s stomach, and she seemed paralysed to the spot but she was unable to look away.

“Pretty
please,” Charlie said even more sweetly and continuing to give Matt little kisses.

Emily
watched Matt succumb to Charlie, and she watched them kiss. She heard their whispered apologies to each other between their increasingly ragged breaths, but just as she was forcing herself to turn away Charlie suddenly stood up and stripped off her top. Emily saw that she was braless underneath, and she felt her face flush. She turned to leave, but in the same instant Charlie saw her stood in the doorway. She tried to look away feeling incredibly embarrassed, and Charlie tried to cover herself up with the top that was still in her hands as she said; “hi!”