Splintered Memory (25 page)

The idea of her thinking this though made Matt feel incredibly uncomfortable. Not only was he still married – well legally he thought as he acknowledged in his mind the fact that he currently had no idea where his wife was living, he also knew that he didn’t want to get married again.

Living with Emily was one thing. Although in truth he knew that this had only come about because he’d needed a support system to come home to from rehab, and at the time she’d seemed more preferable than having to ask Rich or his parents to come and stay with him. The idea of her becoming his wife though was ridiculous, and the thought of her thinking along these lines made him feel claustrophobic. He was becoming increasingly worried that Emily was fast becoming too committed to their relationship, and that thought made him feel guilty.

Matt knew that Emily felt more for him than he did for her, but he also knew that she’d become an integral part of his life in the last few months. Without her, he
’d have lost more than just his marriage. It was likely that he’d have lost his career, and maybe even his life given the amount of drugs he’d been taking when she’d finally gotten him to admit that he had a drug addiction.

Emily had seen him through a difficult time in his life
, and she hadn’t – as she probably should have done given the way that he’d treated her, abandoned him.

When he
’d come out of rehab she’d looked after him, and in return he’d stayed faithful to her. It had seemed like a fair trade at the time, and the least that he could do for her, but he knew that he didn’t love her. He was fond of her, and she was easy to live with. They had a lot in common, and their lives seemed to all intents and purposes well suited. What had made it even easier to accept her as part of his life was the reaction of his friends. They’d accepted them as a couple without asking any questions, and on top of this they’d seemed genuinely pleased for him.

Matt still hadn’t taken Emily home to meet his parents, even though she’d shown a
keen interest in him doing this, but this was partly to do with him not wanting to have to face Charlie’s parents. He could only guess that they wouldn’t be hospitable towards him, but then he couldn’t blame them. He’d hardly been a good son-in-law. Yet aside from this he’d also known that if he took Emily to Cheddar, it’d be tantamount to an announcement that he was divorcing Charlie.

Even though he hadn’t seen or heard from Charlie since he’d walked out on her the morning after they’d had sex, he still couldn’t bring himself to accept that everything between them was over. It was silly and he knew that it wasn’t fair on Emily, but he was doing the very best that he could. She’d also seemed fairly content, well up until these past couple of months at least.

He
tried to shake his thoughts from his head. He didn’t want to have to think about having a difficult conversation with Emily about their future tonight. Tonight was Rich’s night. It was his stag do, and he, Ben, and Nick, had a lot planned. He was also hoping that the night would ease some of Rich’s woes. They’d all noticed that he’d started to look stressed over the past couple of months, but they’d just assumed that he was worrying about the wedding, Bex, or maybe both.

“A
re you going to be okay tonight?” Emily asked him, which interrupted his musings.

“Yeah
,” he said. “I’ll be fine. I won’t drink too much, and all the boys know not to let me.”

“I
’ll wait up for you if you want? I’m on call anyway,” Emily said.

“I’ll be fine
,” he said working his feet into his black shoes and checking his reflection in the mirror.

“Gorgeous
!” Emily said from where she was sat on the bed.

Matt turned
round and smiled at her and said; “a little biased maybe?”

“N
ot maybe, I’m totally biased. But you’re still gorgeous,” Emily said standing up to kiss him.

He
returned her kiss, but as he felt her hands move to the front of his trousers he gently pushed her back. “I’ve got to go,” he said. To which she pouted.

Matt
kissed her on the cheek and left the room. Yet as he walked down the stairs he couldn’t help thinking that this was another instance where she’d been about to use sex as away to get him to stay in with her and not go out, even though she knew that he was heading to Rich’s stag do. She really was getting too clingy he thought, and he was definitely feeling claustrophobic despite his best efforts not to.

He was going to have to have a conversation with her
, but not tonight he said to himself. Tonight was about finding out what was bugging Rich he thought.

***

The night had started off well. They’d begun with a few drinks in Selly Oak where he, Ben, and Nick, had made Rich drink a series of disgusting concoctions, and had made him with each drink put on more pieces of what would when it was complete be a fairy outfit. They’d then headed into town and had ended up in a strip club, where they’d each paid for Rich to have a lap dance.

Unfortunately as the four of them stood outside a takeaway shop, eating chips and waiting for a taxi, the evening took a dip. Rich began reminiscing about their school days
, and his time spent dating Charlie. Matt ignored him at first because he knew he was drunk, and it was his stag night, and also because the rational side of him knew that it didn’t matter. It was all from a long time ago and Charlie wasn’t a part of his life anymore, but as Rich went on and on he could feel his temper rising.

“I loved Charlie first you know,
” Rich said drunkenly to Ben.

“Yeah we know mate,
but it all turned out alright in the end didn’t it? Cus on Saturday you’re marrying Bex, and she’s the real love of your life isn’t she?” Ben asked Rich, and it was clear that he was trying to get Rich to change the subject and talk about Bex rather than Charlie.

“Yeah, Bex is the love of my life. But we all know that she wasn’t my first
,” Rich said slurring his words quite badly. “How sad am I though? I’m marrying the second girl that I ever slept with.”

Matt
turned to scowl at him and said irritably; “fuck off Rich.” He then walked across the street to see if he could see anything coming towards the taxi rank, but the road was empty.

Rich
laughed and said to Ben; “your first times supposed to be shit isn’t it?”

Ben didn’t answer, and it was clear that everyone was trying to ignore
Rich at this point.

“Mine wasn’t. I’m telling you,
” Rich said laughing again; “Charlie knew what she was doing.”

Matt turned to walk back over to him, knowing that he wanted to punch him in the face, but Nick and Ben stood in front of him.

“Come on Matt, he’s too drunk to hit now it wouldn’t be fair. Hit him in the morning when he’s got a hangover,” Ben said.

“Taxi
,” Nick said looking over Matt’s shoulder. Yet when it stopped and they all piled in, Matt noticed that Ben and Nick deliberately sat in between him and Rich.

“Do you know where
mine and Charlie’s first time was?” Rich asked Ben.

“No one cares mate
,” Ben said.

Matt leant forward resting his forearms on the tops of his thighs
by his knees. He put his hands together, kept his head down, and said; “you did it in the school games shed Rich. It lasted about two minutes, and she was thinking about me the whole time. Well according to her that is.”

Everyone looked at Matt, including the cabbie who’d
glanced at him through his rear view mirror.

“You know about the games shed
?” Nick asked sounding stunned.

“Guessing Claire told you?” Matt asked Nick.

Nick nodded, and Ben smiled and said; “Rach told me.”

This time Matt smiled at Ben and said; “no secrets between any of us then is there?”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Rich slurred. But Matt simply ignored him.

The cab pulled up outside of Rich’s house, and it took all three of them to navigate Rich inside. Once he was on the sofa in his living room Matt went back outside to pay for the taxi, and when he went inside again he could hear Rich’s snores coming from the living room. Nick and Ben were already in the kitchen opening up a couple of bottles of beer.

“Want one?” Ben asked Matt as he walked in.

“Yeah
why not,” he said.

“I can’t believe you know about Charlie and Rich in th
e games shed,” Nick said handing Matt a beer. “When Claire told me I was sworn to top level secrecy, like on my life and everything.”

“You too
,” Matt said to Ben.

“Yeah
,” Ben answered smiling.

“Charlie told me about an hour before we got married. She rang me up and scared me half to death. I thought she was calling to say that she couldn’t go through with
the wedding, that she’d changed her mind or something. But she just said that she couldn’t marry me with this secret between us,” Matt said.

“What did you say when she told you
?” Nick asked.

“I asked her if she was still coming to the church to marry me,
” Matt said; “and she said only if I promised to be stood at the altar waiting for her with a best man whose nose wasn’t broken.”

Ben and Nick both laughed and said; “but you’ve never once mentioned it to Rich?”

Matt smiled slyly.

“What?” Nick and Ben both
asked together.

“It’s in my best man’s speech
,” Matt said.

All three of them burs
t out laughing before Ben said; “we’re assuming Bex knows though right?”

“Jeez Ben, wh
at kind of guy do you take me for? I checked with your missus before putting it in,” Matt said smiling at Ben and all three of them burst out laughing again.

The following morning
Rich had a rotten hangover and couldn’t remember any of the journey home. None of them reminded him though. None of them wanted to ruin Matt’s speech.

***

Matt was stood in his morning suit fiddling with his cravat when Rich walked into his room wearing just his shirt and trousers, and Matt noticed that Rich was looking incredibly pale.

“You look like shit!” Matt said
clearly rather amused. “Are you really this nervous?”

“I’m fine
,” Rich said edgily. “The question is how you are? Are you okay? Not feeling the need to do any drugs or anything?”

Matt laughed and said; “I’m pretty chilled out mate, but then I’m not the one about to say I do.”

“Charlie’s here,” Rich said watching Matt’s face for his reaction.

“Okay
and this has you tripping out why? Doubts, worried that you’re marrying the wrong girl?” Matt asked Rich before laughing.

“No, but you’re not freaked about seeing her
?” Rich asked.

“I knew she was coming
,” Matt said. “So no, I don’t think I was planning on being surprised or freaked out at seeing her here.”

“Oh
,” Rich replied. “Okay, in that case I’m gonna go and finish getting my suit on.”

Rich
turned and left the room, and Matt turned his attention back to the mirror and his cravat. Yet he suddenly felt very nervous, and a lot like he’d just started to sweat profusely.

Matt
had known that Charlie was going to be here, but seeing her again was going to be strange. He hadn’t seen her in ten months, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to feel when he did see her again. In truth, he’d been trying desperately not to think about it.

He absent-mindedly looked at the wedding ring on his left hand. He assumed that Charlie would have taken her rings off by now, and he thought that she might think that it was strange if she saw that he was still wearing his. He turned the ring and felt
dejected when it came off easily. He looked at it again and then put it in his trouser pocket. Yet as he did he only hoped that Emily wouldn’t notice that he’d taken it off, or that if she did that she wouldn’t read too much into it. 

Matt shook his head to chase this concern away, and he walked out of his room.

Bex had chosen a nice venue for the wedding. It was a hotel that also had its own church. This made it ideal for wedding parties as the guests could stay at the hotel, walk to the church, and then walk back to the reception afterwards. There were also no undue delays in waiting for people to arrive, and the bride and groom didn’t have to pay any unnecessary transport costs for their guests.

Matt knew that if Rich had just seen Charlie, it was likely that she’d be at the hotel reception checking in. He headed in that direction at top speed, unsure of why he was so anxious to see her. His original plan had been to avoid her for the most part, unless forced to make polite conversation with her. Yet when
Rich had said that she was here he’d known that he needed to see her. How bad could it be he asked himself as he hurtled down the corridors towards the hotel reception?

He rounded the last corner, and he saw two women and a man standing at the reception desk. He slowed down, and he tried to catch his breath and compose himself as he walked towards them.