Spilled Milk: Based on a true story (9 page)

“Yea,” I
replied. I thought they were just cramps from drinking too much water or not
having enough stamina.

“Well I think
we’d need to do exploratory surgery. See what’s going on in there. It’s a lot
easier to tell when males have hernias because more often than not it will
protrude through their stomachs with a bump. Girls it’s harder to see unless we
check it out internally.”

Coach was not
happy with my diagnosis because it meant I would be missing almost five weeks
of practice. I wasn’t happy because it meant I was going to be vulnerable again
after surgery.

Dad was happy.

Surgery was
scheduled to take about an hour. The anesthesiologist came in and put an IV in
my left hand. “I’m going to give you some really good drugs.” He moved some of
the tubes around and when he was satisfied he looked at me. “Goodnight, Brooke.”

Four hours
later I woke up with the same treacherous pain in my abdomen as when I had my
appendix out. The clock on the wall of my hospital room read 6:23 P.M. Since I
should have been in recovery before four o’clock I thought something went wrong
during surgery.

“You actually
had a hernia on
both
sides.” The doctor pointed to either side of my
stomach. “Laparoscopic surgery is a beautiful thing, you have two scars the
size of your pinky nail on each side, and the same size scar in your
bellybutton where we had to go in through. I’m going to extend the time you
have off from cheerleading to eight weeks since we had to repair both sides.”
He took note of my face. “Oh, don’t worry sweetheart, resting at home is the
best thing for you at this point.”

And it was. For
the first three weeks.

Mom got tired
of waiting on me and the only time Kat came into our bedroom was to sleep. I
was alone most of the day while the summer sun blared through the windows.
Sweltering heat or not, I covered myself head to foot with blankets as a shield
as I lay in bed, waiting.

Dad came in a
few days after I was able to walk around enough to shower. I thought if I
forced my body to stay limp enough, he wouldn’t be able to move me and give up.

Blacking out
was becoming a welcomed necessity of coping. I slipped past the reality of
heavy breathing and pain and sought refuge in black space and dreamland.

 My prescribed
Vicodin kept me numb over the next few weeks. Mom told me when I was finished
using them to give her the rest of the bottle for safe keeping. I nodded and
watched her throw back her usual cocktail of pills. Maybe she stayed numb for a
reason too.

“Dad is working
the overnight shift, why don’t you come in and sleep with me tonight?” Mom
suggested.

“Okay.”

“First come
here, Brooke. I have to show you something.”

I followed her
into her bathroom and she pulled out a white thermometer from her pocket and
handed it to me.

No, not a
thermometer.

“Mom, you’re
pregnant?” A white stick glowed PREGNANT across a small screen. My hand pressed
against my forehead. “How did you find out?”

“Remember when
I fell last week when I was sleeping on the couch?”

Do I
remember last week when you were so high on pills you passed out on the couch
and got up hours later only to fall on your face? Yes, Mom, I remember.

“Yea, what
about it?”

“I went to the
Doctor, I broke my nose. But they couldn’t send me anywhere to operate because
they did a blood test and I was pregnant. I haven’t told your father yet. I’m
three months already.”

“Oh. Well,
congratulations.”

She hugged me
and shoved the pregnancy test back into her pocket. “I’m going to tell him
tomorrow. I wanted you to be the first to know.”

We both crawled
into her bed and she clicked the TV on. The news came on and after a few minutes
Mom muted the TV and turned to me. “Brooke, I want to ask you something.”

I gulped.
“Okay?”

“I saw
something that I wanted to ask you about. I really need to know the honest
truth.”

Oh God.

She put the
remote down. “Do you know any kids at school that do Oxycontin’s?”

Wow, not
where I thought this conversation was going.

I struggled to
switch brain tracks. “Uh, yea, I mean I think so? I’m not sure. Why?”

“The news was
saying that people are selling them for $25 a pill. I could really use the money.
You know your father doesn’t give me much and I don’t know what else to do
since I can’t work. Do you think you could find people to sell them to? They
said a lot of high school kids are using them.”

“You want me to
sell your Oxycontins? Don’t you need them?”

The news was
covering a lot of this drug lately, I never thought about my mom using hers to
make a profit though.

“They give me a
lot of them. I have Vicodin and Percocet too so I could use them instead for my
pain.”

“Could we ask
Grandpa and Grandma for money?” The thought of becoming a drug dealer at
fifteen was not something I wanted to add to my resume.

“Never mind
Brooke. I’ll just have to beg your father for more money, nothing can ever be
easy.” She picked up the remote.

“No, it’s
okay.” I thought about Judd. He ran around with some shady people who I knew
smoked weed. Maybe they did other drugs too. “I’ll do it.”

“Okay. We’ll
keep it between me and you. I want to sell them for $30 a pill.”

As if we just
spoke about a normal mother daughter topic she un-muted the TV. “So, are you
excited to get back to cheerleading next week?”

Judd was more
than happy to oblige to helping me pool together a clientele list for
Oxycontin’s. “Me and you, we’re gonna run this town. I have lots of people
looking for them. Where are you getting them from?”

“My mom.”

“What? Really?”
Judd nodded his head. “Yeaaaa buddy. Well don’t get all red about it, it’s
cool. Chalky’s mom smokes weed with him.”

“I’m not
keeping any of the money,” I added.

“Oh? Well, all
right. You can make bank selling those though. Your mom need the money?”

“Yea. Hard
times.”

“Don’t sound so
down, I got you Brooke. We’ll get this.”

Over the next
three weeks I made it to cheerleading practice and fought to catch up on all
the routines I missed. Work was from nine in the morning until six at night,
and then I would go home, shower, and meet Judd to start our evening job. By
the end of the month I had given Mom well over two thousand dollars.

“Damn, you sure
you’re not keeping any of this?” Judd flipped through a wad of twenty’s after
making a drop off.

“Yea, I’m sure.
You know this would be a lot easier if we drove, then we wouldn’t have to have
people meet us in weird places waiting on our bikes.”

“Yea it’s all
right. They don’t care as long as they get their stuff.”

“Who’s left?” I
had one more summer reading book to get through before school started the
following week. It was a long day and I just wanted to go home.

“James.” Judd
looked at his phone. “Should be here in ten minutes.”

The name was not
familiar. “He new?”

“Yea. He wanted
40 of them though. He’s giving us a little over a grand. Nicey nice.”

 The sun had
just set when a black honda rounded onto the street and pulled up in front of
us. The back window rolled down and a hand stuck out motioning me over.       

“Go get em’, do
your thing.” Judd motioned toward the car but didn’t move from his spot on the
curb.

I grabbed the
baggie of pills and stuffed them in my back pocket like Judd taught me. “Don’t
give them the pills until they give you the money,” he had instructed.

“Sup?” A gruff
voice met me.

I strained my
eyes to see into the dark car. A few pairs of eyes stared out at me.

“Not much. Got
40 Oxy’s.” I pulled the back out of my pocket to show them. “You got the twelve
hundred?”

A gun was in my
face before I knew what was happening. “This gun says they’re free, give it
here,” he shouted. He reached outside the window and grabbed the pill bag.

I was on the
ground as Judd pushed me aside. The wind was knocked out of me and I heard
tires screeching away while Judd leaned halfway in the car punching the guy in
the face.

“Judd! NO!” I
screamed.

He let go of
the car and rolled onto the ground as the car screamed around the corner and
off into the distance. I ran to him.

“Oh my God,
Judd, are you okay? Are you okay?”

“Stop
screaming, I’m okay, I’m okay. Are YOU okay? Who are they to point a gun in
your face. Oh this isn’t over, oh
man
this isn’t over.”

My hands
trembled as we rushed over to our bikes and hopped on. “Brooke, go home, I know
where that guy lives.”

“No, Judd. No
I’m going with you.”

“Go HOME
Brooke.” Judd pointed.

“NO! I’m coming
with you.”

He sped off and
I followed behind him. The temperature dipped as we pedaled with rampant
intensity. I thanked Coach for all the hours of running and jump rope, otherwise
I wouldn’t have been able to keep up with Judd whose adrenaline was taking
over.

We must have
pedaled for over twenty miles before we laid our bikes down in some bushes
outside a trailer home.

“His car isn’t
here. That guy thinks he’s just gonna get away with that. Watch this.”

Judd strutted
to the front door and I trailed him watching out for the black car. Several
hard pounds on the door coaxed an overweight woman in a bathrobe to appear. At
first she looked like she was going to call the police, then she spotted me.
“What’s this about? Do you know what time it is?”

“Do you know
what your son just did? He stuck a gun in my girl’s face.”

His girl?

The woman’s
mouth opened and she brought her hand to her face. “What? My James?”

“Yea, your
James.” Judd squeezed his hands to control himself.

“I don’t
understand.”

“He wanted some
Oxy’s, drugs, and he didn’t want to pay for them. You tell him we’ll be looking
for him. He stuck a gun in my girl’s face and fled. I’ll be looking for him,
tell him that.”

“Oh, oh my.”
The look on the woman’s face told me she had no idea her son did drugs. I felt
bad for her.

“Oh honey,” she
turned to me, “I’m so sorry.”

I stared at
her.

“I’ll make it
right. Here, I’ll make it right.” She fumbled the pocketbook sitting in the
foyer next to her.

“No, no it’s all
right,” I said.

Tears ran down
the mother’s face as she pried open her wallet.

“Really, it’s
okay. Tell him to never call us again.” I took Judd’s hand and led him away
from the house.

“Why’d you do
that?” Judd pushed out his chest and scanned the neighborhood for the black
car. “I’m gonna…”

“Do nothing.” I
finished his sentence. “You’re gonna do nothing because we’re better than that.
Come on.”

When we reached
my house the adrenaline had worn off and we had to walk the bikes up the
driveway. I pushed the front door open and Mom was standing in the living room.
“What happened?” She hissed. It was after midnight. “I’ve been sitting here
waiting.”

Judd told her
what happened as I hid my face behind him. I was disappointed that I wasn’t
able to hold onto the pills as the car sped away. When Judd finished Mom just
looked at me.

“You let him
get
away with my pills
? You got
nothing
? Not one cent?”

She threw her
hands up and walked into the kitchen. “Jesus, Brooke. What the hell am I
supposed to do now? I don’t get another refill for another two weeks. I needed
that money.”

Judd raised an
eyebrow at her reaction. Mom didn’t mention the gun that had been thrown in my
face. “I’m gonna go,” he whispered. I nodded.

He snuck out
the front door and I watched him cruise down the driveway.

“It won’t
happen again, Mom. I’m sorry.”

She tapped her
foot and looked at the now empty pill bottle in front of her. “It better not,
Brooke. If you want to make sure you guys have food to eat, it better not.”

Paul and I
started walking to his house to hang out every day after school. It was
convenient that he lived so close to where I worked because we could hang out
for an hour before I started my shift and I could spend time with Paul without having
to tell my parents.

“So what time
does your little brother’s bus come?” I poured a glass of orange juice and sat
down on the oversized sofa in the living room. Paul’s mom just accepted a job
as an ultrasound technician and needed Paul to get his little brother off the
bus in the afternoon.

“Around 4:15.
You don’t have to go to work until five right?” He plopped down next to me
hooking our elbows together. The familiar scent of his skin soaked through my
veins as I let his arm melt into mine.

“Maybe,” I
smiled.

He set my juice
down and grabbed both my sides, tickling me until I begged him to stop.
Satisfied that he had won the tickle war he pulled me closer to him, wrapping
his arms around my waist.

“Go out with
me.” His eyes softened when he was serious. I knew the question had been
burning in the back of his head ever since I turned him down at the fair.
Curled up on his couch I watched him fidget with a pillow as he waited for an
answer. Outside the living room window leaves started to drift to the ground.

“Brooke?” He
looked so vulnerable.

I cradled his
face in my hands and pulled him closer. I kissed him, lingering on his bottom
lip, and pulled away before he could return the favor. “Okay.” I nodded. “I’ll
go out with you.”

To mask the
overwhelming smile that spread across his face he hid his face in my hair.