Sounds of Yesterday (24 page)

Alex’s door opens. He murmurs a ‘hey’ to Kellan and waits for me to enter.

“And I’m like a human elephant not a bunny. Salads and carrots don’t do it for me.”

Kellan opens his door with a big smile. “Alright. Lunch when I get back from break. Don’t forget.” He eyes Alex and offers him a sincere look. “It’s just lunch.”

“Okay.” Alex turns his eyes on me. “Joey, the guy from my study group made you a peach cobbler pie.”
To what do I owe this honor?!

Alex has tried to make me brownies here twice. I know he bribes one of the kitchen cooks for fifty minutes in the kitchen. Those are the best fifty minutes of my life, watching him bake my favorite treat.

“For me?” My eyes get big and my stomach gets this little fluttering feeling because
food!

“Yup. He wasn’t joking when he told you to join the nerd side because we have pie.”

“Awww.” I wave at Kellan then enter Alex’s room.

“He just wants me to get fat so you’ll leave me and start dating him. He said it. Joking of course but any threat of losing you is a real one to me.”

Alex starts blushing and I get all giddy again knowing he’s embarrassed.

We eat pie while I try to ask Alex for details on how he managed to keep Cohen’s and my records clean. He doesn’t even tell me how much he gave Cindy to shut her up because that’s all she wanted. Money. She found her way in and used what she knew Alex would never give up. Me. My future.

I hate her.

I hate people because of people like her.

Instead of going home for break, I spend a few days in Florida with the people I won’t be seeing in a state that I don’t want to visit. I stop by Liam’s house the day I have to leave and he lets me play on the piano. His mom and dad are home, along with a few aunts and cousins of theirs. They decide to watch me play a cover of
Jacquie Lee’s
Broken Ones. I insist that they don’t because I’ll just ruin their happy, giving mood. I want to sing the words to the song but they ignore me so I do what I set out to do.

When I hit the last note, Liam’s mom leaves the room.

I don’t see her again until I’m about to leave the house.

Mrs. Ryan comes to stand beside me in a beautiful navy blue sweetheart dress that I can guarantee is made by Gwen Sawyer. I’ve heard they’re the best of friends, including Tyler’s mom. I hope Sophie and me are like this in the future. Even when we’re older, I want to share clothes and gossip and never lose the relationship we have.

“Angelica loved the piano,” she says with a sad smile. “She was eleven when we lost her.” She blinks back tears. “Today, you made me feel like she was home for the first time in three years. Thank you.”

She pulls me into a hug that I return with as much force as I think she needs.

Hugging strangers was and will always be a strange thing to me but I’ll break my rules for a grieving mother. If my mom lost me and someone reminded her of who I was, I’d want that person to comfort her, even if it’s just for a few seconds.

Liam walks into the entryway, breaking us up.

“I’ll drive you to the airport,” he proposes. “Alex wants to make sure you get on the plane safely.”

His mother tells us to drive safe.

When I step out onto the main walkway, I almost collapse when I see us walking toward a red Audi R8 parked a few feet away.

Liam chuckles and opens my door for me because I can’t move. My eyes roam over this beauty and I want to throw myself against it and roll around on it. Gently, of course.

“Alex hates me for having this car.”

“I so hate you too!”

“We made a deal when we got our licenses back then. We can’t have the same make of a car. Tyler has the Benz, I got the Audi, and Alex has the BMW.”

“I can have a Mustang or Camaro, if you’re feeling generous,” I tease.

“Noted.”

He shuts my door and I stare at him wide-eyed until he gets in the car.

“I was joking. Do not think I was serious. Driving freaks me out.”

Liam nods a few times and starts up the car. “Whatever you say.”

I sigh and sink into the seat, pretending that I’m being driven by a Transporter.

As we near the airport, I sit up and glance at Liam. He’s focused on driving and hasn’t said a word in the last twenty minutes. What his mother said to me has me thinking and I feel like I should address the big elephant in the room–
er
, car. Everyone says Liam doesn’t talk much. But I only notice it because
I’m
there. The girl that looks a lot like his late sister.

“Hey, Liam,” I start.

“Yeah?”

“Do you talk more to other people?” He turns his head to me, raises an eyebrow then sets his eyes back on the road. “You’re always quiet around me.”

He doesn’t say anything until we’re pulling up into the drop-off area of the airport.

“You remind me of my sister,” he concedes, looking down at the gearshift. “She was this quiet, annoying pain in my ass but I loved her so fucking much.” He looks up at me with a sad smile that matches his mothers. “The day she died…” He shakes his head and I see the tears.

“You don’t have to tell me.” I place my hand on his arm and awkwardly stroke it. “I’m so sorry for saying anything.”

“No, don’t be.” He looks out of his window and wipes his eyes with his free hand. “She wanted to go swimming but I wanted to get laid at the time so I told her she was old enough to go out alone.” He takes a deep breath and turns his eyes back on me. “She was afraid of water and I sent her to the pool with no supervision. Her eyes…I’ve seen that look in your eyes a few times. She was terrified and hurt that I called her a baby but she was determined to prove me wrong.”

Tears pool in my eyes and we both start crying silently. That is so heartbreaking. I can’t imagine the guilt he feels for those being the last moments he shared with his sister. He was young and he shouldn’t feel responsible. We all make mistakes.

“It’s hard to talk to you sometimes because I think of Angelica and I freeze.”

“I should wear sunglasses around you then,” I respond.

Liam laughs and it lightens up the somber mood we’ve created.

“You can talk to me through music, if that helps.”

Liam sinks back into his seat and nods. “It really does.” This music project is the best thing to happen to us. It’s sad to know we’ll be done with it soon and have to present it in two weeks, before the term ends. “Just don’t ever play that
Friday
song around me. Angelica sang that non-stop before she died.” His voice becomes a whisper as he adds, “I go right back to that day.”

“I promise.” I lean in slowly, not sure if he wants a hug or if I even want to give him one, but I kind of do so I go all the way and hug him quickly. “Now let me out of this car or I’ll miss my flight.”

Liam’s phone chimes from his jeans pocket. He pulls it out and smiles.

“Looks like the boyfriend misses you too.”

He shows me the phone and my heart melts into a pile of goo.

Mommy’s Boy (Alex): Did you drop her off yet? I need updates, man! Did she eat too? Don’t go dark on me now. Oh, and tell me you opened her door. She hates that shit!

His text ends with ‘laughing with tears in the eyes’ emojis. What a prick.

I grab the handle of the door but it’s locked.

I try to unlock it with no luck.

“Liam.”

Liam opens his door and makes his way over to mine.

“Oh, god,” I whine as he stops at my door with a Cheshire smile on his now punchable face.

***

The moment I see Alex as I go down the escalator, my heartbeat picks up and I want to shove all of these people out of my way so I can get to him faster. They eventually get off and I’m brought closer and closer to one of my favorite people.

              When I’m on the ground, I move my feet and I run into his arms. Four days is too long. Why he had to come home so early doesn’t make sense to me but at the same time it does. I’m not the only person in his life. He has family to see and things to do.

“Hi,” I breathe into his neck.

“Hi,” he echoes.

I’m lifted off my feet and twirled in a circle, my squeals and giggles making this a very clichéd moment that I can’t help but cherish and store away for future use.

“We should get going. Traffic is going to be a bitch.” Alex sets me down and pouts. I lean up and nibble his bottom lip. “Turn that frown upside down, lover.” I pull him into my arms for a longer hug.

“Do you know what today is?” Alex asks, looking down at me. I shake my head because nothing matters besides me being here, in his arms, in this moment. “It’s the first time we’re back together in Boston in a really long time.”

I pull back slowly. “This is a monumental moment. I feel like we should have make-up sex because of it.”

Alex taps my nose lightly. “I thought you were all ‘
fuck Boston
’,” he whispers, so no one hears him.

I lick my lips and don’t let why I left ruin this moment. I still am ‘fuck Boston’ but I can try and enjoy my stay here for now. “For someone so smart, you’d think that you’d read in-between the lines.” I lean into his ear and whisper, “Fuck
me, in
Boston.”

“That makes much more sense!” Alex winks at me, grabs my hand and throws my duffel bag over his shoulder. “We shall see where we can do this, milady.”

We leave the airport in a fit of laughter. He is so cheesy.

Alex’s parents invited my family over for Thanksgiving dinner so tomorrow morning, we’re heading over there to help them set up the food. My house will be free. I let Alex in on this little fact.

When we reach his car, he pulls out
Adele
’s newest album from the glove compartment and hands it to me. I about lose my shit because I didn’t have time to grab this when it released yesterday. “Because I love you,” he says, kissing my cheek.

He is the sweetest most thoughtful man ever.

I hug the album against my chest and sink into a world of euphoria.

***

People are thankful for a lot of reasons on Thanksgiving. I’m thankful for the people in my life who have stuck with me up until now. Sophie and Zach joined the Sawyer’s and Spencer’s for a huge meal–after they ate with their families–that stuffs me to the point of saying ‘no more’ at food offered to me. I know, shocker!

After eating, everyone finds an area to relax. I’m starting to sway on my feet and my thoughts are fuzzy so I drop onto the floor with Alex beside me. McKenna chooses to narrow her hazel eyes at me for a few seconds before looking at Declan. She hasn’t said much to me over dinner, I’m kind of expecting the hate speech from her soon. I mean, I did leave her brother. If some chick left Declan and moved to another state without a word, I’d plot her murder.

“So, Emily, are you heading back to Florida soon?” she asks, grabbing a couch pillow. I first think she’s about to whip it at me but she drops it on Declan’s lap and stretches out so she can lay down. “I was thinking we could do something together before break is over.”

No one looks at them like they’re surprised of my brother and Alex’s sister getting cozy on the couch. I glare at Alex for knowing something was going on between them and not telling me about it. This must have started when I left. Ohmygod, McKenna probably went to my house and tried to kill me for breaking her brother’s heart but instead she fell into Declan’s arms and forgot about me.

Mom decides to leave to spend some time with Charlie before he leaves in the morning. Translation: she’s going to get some so her children are not wanted at home until it’s clear.

I shiver at the thought. And smile knowing Mom found some happiness after all this time.

“I booked my flight back for Sunday morning,” I answer.

“Will you be back for Christmas break?”

The room goes quiet. I know everyone wants to know that answer. I still haven’t decided if I can/want to. School ends on the seventeenth of December. McKenna will be on break because she started school in September instead of August. If I come back, there is no school as my escape until spring classes begin in January.

“Um, I might stay in Florida. I can babysit and work for Charlie until school starts up again.”

Crickets. I hear crickets.

“But…we…I…” Sophie sits up from Zach’s lap and shrugs her shoulders lightly. “Your presents are already in my closet.”

Presents in the closet. She went old school.

“I even wrapped them. They look so pretty!”

I start giggling and it turns into full blown laughter. Which doesn’t stop. I’m laughing like a crazy person and I don’t know why.

“So are yours,” I say in-between laughter. “They’ve been there since last year.”

I hold my stomach and try to stop the noise I’m making but it doesn’t happen.

“It must be the eggnog,” Damon says, walking into the living room with Gwen by his side. “You’ll be fine, kiddo. Just remember to breathe.”
That seems hard to do at the moment.

It must be the eggnog though. I’m pretty sure there was rum in there. And I was drinking that non-stop.

I stand and move away from everyone, squeezing my cheeks together so my face doesn’t hurt in the next few seconds.
Stop laughing! Please.

“I spent so much time wrapping everything, making them perfect, and I didn’t even give it to you guys.” My laughter dies down but instantly turns into sobs because I’m thinking of the presents in
my
closet and why they were never given away. My heart cracks into tiny pieces knowing my future birthdays and Christmas’ will forever be ruined because of one night. One night that I keep trying to run from and pretend never happened. “I never gave them away because it felt wrong. Celebrating my birthday and Christmas in the same week makes me feel like I’m celebrating the fact that I was raped. The months after that were nowhere near joyful.”

“Emily.”

“I don’t want to celebrate my birthday. I don’t want to be here for Christmas. I don’t want to be in this damn city but I’m here because you guys are.” Leaving town breaks me a little more every time because this is where all of them have their lives. Their families. Florida is just a pass time for college. When it’s over and we graduate, they’re all most likely coming back here. And I won’t. “I fucking hate Boston because of high school, and I hate Brookline because of Pierce. These cities suffocate me. I–”