Sound Proof (Save Me #5) (11 page)

I need some sort of normalcy in my chaotic, crazy, completely fucked up life right now. I’m hoping I can find that in AJ. I’ve spent every day since he signed on full-time at the IronSound office being hit on in one way, shape, or form. He’s never taken it past verbal flirtation, but suddenly I’m starting to wonder what would happen if he did.

AJ lifts my face with gentle fingers and laughter fills his eyes. I drop my eyes back to his mouth, where he licks his lips before speaking. “Instead of undressing me with your eyes, I can just take them off and make it easier on the both of us.”

I bat his hand away from my chin even though I don’t want to, and finally get my bearings back a little but they’re gone again the second he grabs my hand and pulls me through the door. AJ motions for me to follow him and pushes past me. I slip out of my sandals by the closet door and follow him into the kitchen, pulling up a bar stool across from him.

“How can you go from the guy who bought my daughter a drum set and wrote me that note in crayon, to this perv so quickly?”

He ignores my question and grabs a beer, asking me if I want one and pops the top for me when I agree. He plops down, sliding the beer across to me and sets a bowl of fruit and a can of whipped cream down between us.

“You gonna tell me why you were standing on my porch hesitating or are we gonna ignore that?”

I ignore his question and throw one out of my own. “Why wouldn’t you learn to sign?”

He bites the corner of his lip. “Avoidance. All right, I can work with that… for now. Why should I have learned? You could read my lips. You could speak. What was the point?”

“Well, what would you have done if I had just stopped talking to you?”

“Just me?” he asks.

“Probably. You’re the only one who didn’t even try with me.”

AJ’s face drops. Instantly, I want to call my words back and pretend I didn’t say them, but I can’t. They’re out there, hanging over both of us like a dense fog.

“Honestly—” he takes a sip of his beer, and starts playing with the label on the bottle “—not hearing your voice every day would fuckin’ kill me.”

My heart speeds up but I don’t know how to handle it. “I was joking, don’t get all heavy on me right now.”

He reaches across the counter, his fingers grazing my knuckles, leaving a trail of heat where they touch. “It’s the truth, heavy or not. I’m not going to lie to you just because you’re having a rough time. I know shit has sucked for the past few months, and you’re worried about the girls. But who’s worrying about you? Who’s taking care of you?”

“Me. I’m taking care of myself like I always have.”

“You shouldn’t have to.” His eyes bore into me, holding me captive in a conversation that I know I shouldn’t be having, but am suddenly completely invested in. I want nothing more than to know where he’s going with this. The grape he pops into his mouth gets swirled around by his tongue and I have to force myself not to watch every move it makes until he swallows.

“Then who the hell should? My soon-to-be ex-husband never really did. It’s always just been only me.”

AJ stands and walks around to where I’m sitting. He drags the bowl with him and pops a piece of fruit into my mouth. I have no clue what it is because all my focus is on his thumb lingering on my bottom lip.

“Me.” He shrugs, letting his thumb drift back and forth. One word rocks my entire world, hitting me so hard that I have to hold onto the counter and chair because I’m afraid I will fall over. “I’ve never chased a woman for an hour, let alone this long. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you, Payton. And I’ve never been willing to drop everything just to steal half a second with anyone. Until you. Until your girls.”

One word may have rocked my world but everything he just said sent me spinning like a fucking tornado. My mouth is probably gaping like a fish out of water. I want to tell him yes, that I want him too, but I can’t get the words to come out of my mouth. Before I have a chance to say anything, he smashes me in the face with a whipped cream covered strawberry. His head falls back as he laughs and I grab the can, happy that he started this because the heavy subject was hurting my brain. I stand up, fill my hand with whipped cream and smash it in his face as fast as I can, running away while he wipes it out of his eyes.

For the first time in months, I laugh. Actually laugh, and it feels good as I round the corner of the island. Turning around, I brace my hands against the countertop and watch him stalk me, his lips turned up in a cocky grin. He goes left, I go right, and I bolt into the living room.

I don’t make it far before AJ’s arms circle around my stomach and he tackles me to the ground. He turns us just in time so he takes the brunt of the fall but it doesn’t take him long to get me pinned underneath him. He holds my wrists hostage next to my head and my legs automatically bend, encasing his hips. If I thought my heart was racing before, it was nothing compared to right now. Dropping his head, he licks some of the mess off my face like a dog. I shake my head to get away from him, trying hard not to laugh but fail miserably.

Max never played like this
.

“AJ, what the hell are you doing to me?” I laugh as he laps at my face some more. My breath hitches in my chest when he pulls back because his eyes burn with an intensity that I’ve never seen there before.

With emotion I’ve never seen there before.

“I’m trying to make you fall for me. Is it working?” He flashes a bright smile before getting completely serious on me again. I want to say yes, that he’s had me falling for him slowly this entire time but I can’t because I know that would probably freak him out. Hell, that would probably freak me out if it came out of my mouth. “Please say something.”

Honesty is the best policy, right?

“Don’t break me anymore than I already am,” I whisper. “AJ, don’t make me fall in love with you and then break my heart because I don’t think I could handle the crash that comes after a fall like that again.”

His eyebrows draw together and he stares intently at me, his eyes searching for something in mine. “I’m more worried about you breaking me, but trust me on this Payton, I’ll be right here to catch you.”

The second his words are out, I stretch my neck until I can reach his lips to kiss him. He lets go of my hands and grabs the back of my neck. His tongue sweeps across the seam of my lips and I open to him, letting his tongue dip into my mouth and chase mine. It feels weird to me, how instantly comfortable I am with him invading my mouth. Like he’s always been there. Like he belongs there. I like it, which both excites me and scares me at the same time.

My hands run over Payton’s body, moving like they have a mind of their own. Not wanting to rush this, I kiss her as I run my hands along her body in ways I have dreamed about for so long. For the first time ever the thought at the front of my mind isn’t how fast I can get into the girl’s pants while touching her. It shocks me because the
only
thing I have ever really wanted from a woman was sex.

I slow the kiss but don’t pull away. Now that she’s letting me kiss her I never want to pull away from her perfect lips. Payton’s hands found their way around my neck the second I let go of her wrists. The way she’s dragging her nails across my skin is driving me insane. I feel like a hormonal teenage boy who’s about to blow a load in his pants.

I grip her amazing ass in my hands and somehow manage to lift us both off the floor without breaking contact. She squeals into my mouth, squirming in my arms until I lower us onto the couch. Payton settles her thighs on either side of mine, rocking her hips a little to inch closer to me. I bite back a groan and reluctantly pull my lips away from her, both of us breathing heavily.

I rest my hands on her thighs letting my thumbs sweep back and forth. Payton sighs and hangs her head. The look on her face is turning to regret way too fast for my liking so I tip her chin back up gently.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, reaching up to sweep my thumb across her full bottom lip.

She looks up, locking eyes with me. “I’m scared. Petrified, really.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m afraid that I’m going to fall head over heels for you, and you will only want me for sex. That’s not who I am.”

Running my hand down the side of her face, I wrap my fingers around the back of her neck. “I’d never do that to you, Payton. I know I have a reputation as being a manwhore, but that stopped a long time ago.” She nods slowly, like she wants to believe me, but isn’t sure she should.

“AJ, I haven’t had sex since before I left Max. And I’m not sure I’m ready to.”

“Neither have I.”

“Why not?” she asks. “You can walk out your door and have women flock to you in masses. I’ve seen it happen.”

I grab both of her hands and tug her closer to me, close enough that I can feel her breath on my face but far enough away that she can still tell that I’m not going to try and fuck her right here and now.

“Because the second I knew you left Max, and I knew there was even the slightest chance that I could make you mine, I didn’t want to be with anyone else. Even when you were gone, something in the back of my head kept me from going out and looking for anyone else. I couldn’t be with anyone else, it was only you, Payton. I only want you.”

Payton bites the corner of her mouth to keep from smiling so I lean up and kiss her quickly. “What if I had said no?”

“Then I would have died a lonely, horny old man.”

She slaps my chest playfully, tossing her head back as she laughs. I’m pretty sure there’s even a tiny snort in there, which just makes her laugh harder. It’s quite possibly the sexiest thing I have ever seen or heard in my life.

“You’re such a liar. You would have had the next twenty-something year old who was willing to blow you in your bed.”

Ouch
. “It kills me that you don’t believe me,” I tell her honestly. I drag my fingers up and down her arms, letting the smoothness of her skin seep into mine.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers sadly, breaking my heart. “I seem to have been tainted by everything Max has done.”

“When I’m in a relationship, I’m in it completely, Payton. You never have to worry about me being like him. I will
never
be him.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she begins to protest, pulling away from me. I catch her by her belt loops and drag her back to me but the moment we were having is gone. I’d normally be upset but I think in this case the seriousness is what is needed.

“I know,” I assure her. “I just want you to know that I won’t hurt you like he did. I want to protect you. For you want me like I want you.”

She sighs, leaning back into me, right where I want her but I can tell the wheels in her head are turning and trying to talk her out of this. “I have baggage. Two kids and all the shit with Max… I don’t think I’ll ever understand why you want to be part of this.”

I growl and she notices the change in my demeanor when she brings up that shit. Her fingers drift over my face, soothing me. It’s the only thing keeping me from leaving and finding him so I can kill the motherfucker.

“Willow and Sage are not baggage. They’re part of a package deal with you. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s a pretty great fuckin’ package that I’ve gotten attached to.”

She stares at me for a second before pressing her forehead against mine. “As much as I know deep inside me that this is something I want, I don’t think it’s a good idea. With everything going on with Max, and the fact that I’m not fully divorced right now, it’s just not. And I know the second the press gets wind of it it’ll spread like wildfire.”

I sigh, happy because she said that she wanted to be with me, but upset that she doesn’t think it’s a good idea. I need her and it’s making me insane that I can’t have her. “I can’t change how I feel about you, Payton. I couldn’t stop wanting you just because of everything going on even if I tried. If tonight did anything, it made me want you more. Now that I know how good it feels to touch you, all I can think about is doing it again.”

Payton smiles and starts to say something but my phone vibrates in my pocket against her leg. I reach in and pull it out. All I want to do is shut it off and toss it to the side so we won’t get interrupted again and that’s what I plan to do, but the second I see the name I know something is wrong.

I swipe my screen and answer it as quickly as I can. “Willow, what’s wrong?”

Payton’s eyes widen and she tries to climb off my lap but I hold her in place until I know what is going on.

Willow sniffles on the other end of the line. “AJ, my mom’s not answering her phone. Is she there with you?”

I tuck a piece of hair behind Payton’s ear, trying everything I can to keep the connection between us. “She’s right here. What’s the matter?”

“I just,” she whispers, trying to get her words out. “I just need my mom. Can you tell her to come get me, please?”

“I’ll make her leave right now. Are you all right?” I ask even though I’m not sure she will answer me.

“Yes. No. Nothing is all right anymore, AJ. I just want everything to go back to normal. I was starting to feel better, but I got in my own head I guess.” Her voice goes quiet, almost like she’s afraid someone will hear her. “I just need my mom.”

“OK, she’s on her way. And, Willow?”

“Yeah,” she squeaks.

“If you ever need anything, anything at all, don’t ever hesitate to call me.”

She rushes out some jumbled up words and hangs up the phone.

Payton looks panicked but I still have a hold of her so she can’t run away just yet. I know I need to let her leave, but I really, really, don’t want her to go.

“Kiss me.”

“Tell me what’s wrong with Willow,” she counters.

I shake my head. “Kiss me first, and then I’ll tell you. Because I need to know you believe that I’m not like Max and that everything tonight wasn’t a fluke.”

She wants to pull away, I can see it in her eyes, but she doesn’t. Payton’s lips slide over mine. Gently at first and then with more determination. She kisses me until I pull away, which says more to me than her words ever could.