Somewhere Only We Know ....... (3 page)

My mam
fussed around me asking me how I was feeling and did I need
anything? When I said I was feeling a lot better, she came up to me
and felt my head. ‘You are burning up!’ she said. Funny, I was
feeling quite cool, but as she rushed to the medicine drawer I got
myself a glass of water and took the two small white tablets she
handed to me. I took myself back to bed and for the next few hours
slept like a baby.

It was dark when I woke, but I could hear
the sound of laughter coming from downstairs. ‘My mam and dad must
have some friends in!’ I thought to myself as I swung my legs out
of bed. ‘There might be something to eat!’ At that moment I was
starving.

I pulled on
my dressing gown and opened the bedroom door, but something stopped
me in my tracks. I could hear noises, but it wasn’t so much
laughter, it was more like the puppy noise!!! We had an open plan
staircase as so many houses that were built in the 70’s had, so I
crept to the top of the stairs and listened. Yes, it was definitely
the sound of puppies and some pigs too by the sound of it. Slowly I
edged my way forward, inch by inch, until I was about 4 stairs down
the staircase. I bent my head and peeped through the lattes. The
sight I saw would remain with me for the rest of my
life.

In our
living room, and I mean our ‘family living room’ were two couples
who I knew my mam and dad were friendly with at church. One of the
couples was the deputy church warden and his wife, who incidentally
ran the youth club, the other couple were the church organist and
her dour husband, well I always thought he was a sour face, he
wasn
’
t so sour faced now, as
well as my mam and dad.

What the six
of them were doing beggars belief. Firstly, they
didn
’
t have a stitch of
clothes on between them. The organist had my
dad
’
s organ in her mouth,
while the youth club leader was licking away between her legs. My
mam was taking it doggy style from the deputy

Church
warden, whilst the sour
faced man was doing something with his hand to the youth club
leader. I was mortified and fascinated all at the same time. They
were all oblivious to my presence, no wonder my mam and dad sent me
away every weekend if this is what happened. I sat there for as
long as I could, until the moaning and yelping became too much and
I slipped back into my bedroom.

I lay in my bed listening until the puppy
noises changed to laughter and I could hear people using the loo
and the clinking of glasses.

Eventually I
heard the front door closing and the sound of my mam and dad
tidying up downstairs. I continued to lie in my bed long after I
heard my mam and dad go to bed and I still lay after the house was
silent. It wasn
’
t just
because I was shocked by what I had seen, I had seen the magazines
under the bed many a time, but the reason I
couldn
’
t get to sleep was
that I was turned on. The sight of the riving bodies, even in their
middle aged state had turned me on. Sleep finally came, but only
after I tentatively put my hand down my pyjamas bottoms and rubbed
at the little nub until my young body had convulsed in pleasure. I
had found a new
favourite
hobby.

Not long
after I started senior school, something remarkable happened. I got
my first ever best friend. I now had school friends but even with
my new found confidence in myself, I still struggled fitting in,
especially with the girls, the boys were easier, I think they
looked at my developing body and thought it was worth me tagging
along with them on the off chance I might let them cop a grope.
Obviously the girls saw this as a threat and so I was never
quite
‘
in with
them
’
, I was never invited
to their girly get togethers outside of school.

But then
there was Jenny and any hurt and rejection that I had endured faded
into the background, Jenny was my guardian angel and my
devil
’
s advocate rolled into
one.

Jenny lived
in my street. I had seen her plenty of times as I made my way
forwards and backwards to school. Her house was three doors away
from ours, but where our house was a suburban 3 bedroom semi, her
house was a huge 5 bedroom detached with a double garage and smart
grassed lawns all around. I can remember her lawns vividly, one
morning I walked passed her house to school and there has only been
mud and rubbish in the gardens and on my return there was no sign
of the mud and rubbish, just beautiful lush green lawns. I found
this fascinating, my poor dad had been trying to grow a lawn in our
back garden for months using lawn seed, but to that point it was
still sparse and pathetic. My dad had tried everything to keep the
birds off it but even with his attempts at pretending he was a
scarecrow, the lawn remained feeble.

So I always
took an interest in the 5 bed roomed detached house down the
street. Jenny lived in the house with her older sister and her
granddad, or so I thought. One day as I was wandering passed I
happened to glance into the open garage and was shocked to see
Jenny
’
s sister kissing her
granddad, not a friendly peck on the cheek like I gave my granddad,
this was a full on snog. I
couldn’
t get into my house quick enough, I started getting the tea
ready, all the while wondering what the hell was happening at
Willow House. My family was dysfunctional enough, I mean I could be
on my death bed and there was no way I would spend a weekend at our
house. After the initial shock of the
‘
swingers
party
’
with the good people
of the Church, I put the thought of it out of my head, no way was I
ever going to let on to my parents about what I had seen that
night.

After tea
while me and my mam washed up I took the bull by the horns and
asked outright
“
Mam! How old
is Jenny along the street’s sister?
”
“
You mean the girl who lives in
Willow House pet
”
my mam
answered.
“
Yes!
”
“
Jenny doesn
’
t have a
sister love, the other girl who lives there is her
mam
”
. God this is getting
worse I thought to myself.
“
Are right mam, so Jenny and her mam live with
Jenny
’
s
granddad?
”
“
No
pet, they live with Jenny
’
s
dad
”
.
So the
snoggers in the garage were Jenny’s mam and dad; that was just too
awful!!
How could
Jenny
’
s mam be married to
that old man? Poor Jenny I thought to myself, I had a stepdad and
that was bad enough, but for people to think your dad was your
granddad was unimaginable.

I had been at senior school for a few months
when Jenny first spoke to me. We would both get the same bus to
school and were often on the same bus home. At 14 Jenny was one of
the cool kids at school.

Small and blonde, she sashayed along the
corridors at school, nearly always with a friend or two and
undoubtedly a boy too. She was picture perfect and always had a
huge smile on her face, I found her happiness unnerving considering
the strange state of her parents.

Anyway, on
the bus home from school one day Jenny came and sat on the seat
next to me.
“
Hi
ya
”
she said.
“
Do you fancy coming to mine after
tea and listening to some records?
”
“
Yes please
”
was all I could mutter.
“
Come along when you are ready
then
”
. I skipped home,
hardly ate a bite of tea and was dressed and ready in no
time.

Jenny
bounded up the stairs in front of me to her bedroom. It was huge
and very pink! It looked like a giant marshmallow, all soft and
sweet, just like Jenny really. I felt awkward and shy and
wasn
’
t sure where I should
sit or what I should say. I needn
’
t have worried, Jenny smiled and for the next few hours
chatted away to me like she had known me for years. It was one of
the best days of my life.

From then on
in Jenny and me spent all our spare time together. Even though she
was a few years above me at school she still searched me out at
break time and I hung out with her and her other friends. Suddenly
I was cool. With Jenny
’
s
help I began to evolve: I had my hair cut into a page boy style and
one night in Jenny
’
s
bathroom we hid my mousy brown hair under a lush mahogany hair
tint. The hems on my school skirts went up and the buttons on my
blouses went down. My mam and dad were worried, I could see it on
their faces and the sly looks they gave each other whenever I left
the house with a face full of make-up on, or when I came through
the front door and made straight for my bedroom.

I
didn
’
t care, I had Jenny.
Jenny, my Jenny was amazing. She lived in a fabulous house, had
parents whose sole purpose was to make her happy and she was
popular, especially with boys. I was totally smitten with her and
best of all she seemed to like me.

It
didn
’
t take long for me to
start making excuses not to go to Kinsley, I missed my Granny but
tried not to think too much about it, I was sure she would be happy
that I had a friend. Not that I wanted to stay in my house with my
mam and dad
’
s strange
shenanigans, but Jenny
’
s mam
and dad were happy for me to stay with them. And so it was that
Willow House became my second home.

Me and Jenny
topped and tailed in her bed and we shared everything, clothes,
make-up and best of all secrets. I told Jenny what had happened the
night of the party and we used to peep out of her bedroom window on
a Saturday night and watch the cars pull up outside my mam and
dad
’
s house. And we laughed
and we laughed, and by doing that it somehow made what my mam and
dad were doing easier to bare.

Jenny told
me about how her mam had met her dad. Debra was just 17 when she
started working as a clerk in a solicitor’s office in Newcastle.
Jerry was one of the partners at the solicitors, he was well into
his fifties when Debra went to work there. For some unknown reason
Debra and Jerry struck up a friendship, Debra who had been brought
up on one the roughest council estates in Newcastle was impressed
that someone in Jerry
’
s
position would even want to talk to her never mind like her and
Jerry, a man that had remained a bachelor living with his widowed
mother until her recent death was totally smitten with the blonde
haired young girl with the lovely smile. They fell in love, it was
as simple as that, 3 months after meeting they slipped away to
Gretna Green and married, much to
everyone
’
s surprise and a
year later Jenny was born.

The more time I spent with Jenny the more my
confidence grew. I began to look down my nose at other girls in my
year, seeking out the company of Jenny or one of her friends
whenever the opportunity arose. I started to smoke, would never be
seen out of the house without my face being made up and I showed
off my body the best I could. And I discovered I loved boys.

Jenny always had loads of lads after her,
she would tease a group of them at the local youth club and then at
the end of the night would choose one to go around the back with
and have a bit kiss. She was still a virgin, but I knew it was only
a matter of time before she was going to let one of the lads go all
of the way. Obviously Jenny being popular with lads had its bonuses
for me too. There was always one of the lads in the group who would
fancy his chances with me, I

wasn
’
t even 13 and I
was necking on with 15 and 16 year olds, letting them have a feel
of my tits if I fancied it. There
wasn
’
t a better feeling than
having a snog with a lad and feeling his hard-on pushing against
me.

We started
to go to parties on a weekend. My pocket money
didn
’
t go far so I took to
stealing alcohol out of the house. I used to fill a pop bottle with
a concoction from my mam and dad
’
s drinks cabinet. I never took it all from the same bottle,
I took a small amount and refilled it with water, then did the same
with the next bottle until my pop bottle was full. It was a lethal
cocktail - a mixture of whisky, brandy, vodka, Malibu, Bacardi and
anything else I could get my hands on. It was vile, but for Jenny
and me it had the desired effect. We became invincible and often
very very sick.

It was at
one of these parties that I learnt the art of the blow-job. A lad
that I had fancied for ages was there, he was gorgeous and he was
16. I couldn
’
t believe it
when he followed me upstairs when I went to the loo and I almost
fainted when I felt his hand rub my bottom as I waited for the
toilet to become available. My cheeks were burning when I
eventually got into the loo, the hand rubbing had remained
persistent as I queued and as I sat on the toilet my mind was
racing. I retouched my makeup, squirted some toothpaste into my
mouth and sprayed some perfume all over my body.