Something Like Winter (8 page)

Tim had goose bumps still,
so he tried to chill out and stop acting like a groupie. They
watched another couple of videos together until one came on that
Ben liked. Then he started singing again, this time with his eyes
closed, and Tim felt those same feelings come rushing back. It
hadn’t just been the song or the moment. That voice was freaking
magical! Tim really couldn’t understand why Ben wasn’t more
popular. Maybe it was the gay thing, but surely people would
forgive Ben for anything if they could hear him sing.

Once the song was over, Tim
did his best not to gush. “Are you in choir or anything like
that?”

Ben nodded.

“
So people at school have
heard you sing.”

“
Yeah, but usually just the
people who go to recitals. I also sang in the talent show freshman
year.”

And the school didn’t
worship him? Ben sang another song for him—at least it felt that
way—and once he was finished, Tim shut off the TV. Then he asked
the question that kept popping up in his mind. “So what’s it like
being gay?”

“
Like anything else, I
guess. What’s it like to be whatever you are?”

“
Straight,” Tim said firmly
before getting back on track. “Don’t you catch a lot of flack for
it? I mean, everyone at school knows, right?”

“
Yup.”

“
I’m surprised you don’t
get your ass kicked every day.”

“
I get a lot of crap.” Ben
shrugged like it didn’t matter. “But I got crap before I came out
for totally different reasons. It’s no different now. Not
really.”

“
True, true.” Tim nodded
sagely. “If it’s not one thing, it’s another.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Like
you would know! It must be hard being a jock with rich parents and
a brand-new sports car. People must tease you
mercilessly.”

Tim grinned in response.
“When you put it like that, I do have it good, but I still get crap
from people. Miss a catch or don’t make it to base and your team
turns on you, especially if you lose the game.”

Ben looked unconvinced. Tim
would have to give him more. Being popular wasn’t all it was
cracked up to be, and if Ben only knew what had gone down in
Kansas—

Tim could tell him. Doing
so would mean summoning up the past. Speaking those words here,
even just once, could mean they were repeated again and again until
they ruined Tim. But surely Ben understood what it was like to be
an outcast.

“
How about this?” The smile
dropped from Tim’s face. “At my last school my ex-girlfriend went
around telling everyone that I raped her, just because I dumped
her. I had every girl in the school coming up to me and saying the
craziest shit. A few even tried to knee me. It was
insane.”

Ben seemed more curious
than judgmental. “What happened?”

“
What do you mean? Nothing
happened. It was her word against mine, but she didn’t take it to
the police or anything because she knew the truth. It blew over
after a while, but people never treated me the same afterwards. You
don’t know how glad I am to have a fresh start.”

Ben sighed. “The idea
sounds appealing.”

“
Would you still come out?
If you moved to the other side of the country where no one knew,
would you come out again?”

“
Yeah,” Ben answered
immediately. “Are you kidding me? What would I do otherwise?
Pretend I’m into girls and start sleeping with them?”

Tim felt uncomfortable,
like he was being accused of doing just that. Maybe because being
with Krista involved so much pretending.

“
I’d definitely come out
again,” Ben continued. “It’s the only chance I have at meeting
another gay guy. It pays to advertise. That’s the theory at
least.”

“
No luck in the romance
department?”

“
Not really. Not love at
least.”

The cuckoo clock his
parents had brought back from Germany sprang to life, the little
bird tweeting the hour.

“
Jesus, I should get home.”
Ben started pulling on his shoes. “Are you going to be all right?
There’s drinks and stuff in the fridge and leftover pizza on the
counter. Should I bring it in?”

Tim fought down a grin.
“Naw, I can manage.”

“
I thought I’d come by in
the morning to make breakfast and check on you, and then again in
the afternoon?”

“
Yeah?” Tim meant to tell
Ben that he could manage on his own, but instead he said, “You’d do
that for me?”

“
That and a hell of a lot
more.” Ben laughed, like he was joking, but they both knew he
wasn’t. “Uh, so see you tomorrow then.”

He practically ran for the
door, probably embarrassed by his confession, but Tim didn’t mind.
It was quite the compliment. If Tim was a girl… Well, that was just
a weird thought. But if things were different, he would be thrilled
that someone like Ben was interested in him. At least, more
thrilled than he already was.

* * * * *

Ben was the first thing Tim
saw every morning, since the painkillers made him sleep deeply.
Usually Tim was roused, back aching from sleeping on the leather
couch in the den, and Ben would look at him in that funny way—like
this was all too good to be true. Then Ben would hurry off and make
breakfast. Tim was served pancakes the first day, fried eggs the
next. Today was only frozen waffles, so he must have really been in
a rush.

“
It’s nine thirty,” Tim
said when Ben set the plate on the coffee table. “Aren’t you
missing school?”

“
Well, yeah.” Ben checked
his watch. “It’s okay though. Allison, my best friend, has the
inside scoop. They only take attendance in second period; otherwise
they’d get false positives from the people who are late in the
morning. Before or after that, I’m in the clear. Sort of. Teachers
will start asking questions eventually, which is why I’m going to
most of my classes.”

Tim gave him the smile, the
one usually reserved for girls who did something he liked. That
always caused them to melt, and to his amusement, it worked on Ben
as well. Seeing a guy react like that was somehow more satisfying.
Tim had already won the affection of more girls than he had time
for, but getting another guy to look so flustered felt like a new
achievement.

“
At least tomorrow is
Saturday. Have any big plans?”

“
Well, maybe,” Ben
said.

“
I see.” Tim put on a pouty
face. “You’re leaving me here to fend for myself.”

“
I
was
going to cook you a real meal. No
frozen pizzas or quick breakfasts. But come to think of it, I might
be too busy. I can’t waste all my time on straight boys.” Ben
winked. “I’m sure you understand.”

“
I’ll make it worth your
while,” Tim said. Of course he had no intention of doing so, but he
loved flirting.

“
Like what?” Ben
pressed.

“
I’ll let you smell my
socks.” A pillow smacked into Tim’s face, and when he moved it
away, Ben was on his way to the door. Tim called after him.
“
And
I’ll let you
keep using my car, you thief!”

So it went. The days were
lonely until Ben was out of school. Then Ben would spend all his
free time with him, Tim grateful for every second because the days
could get long and boring. Besides, Ben took good care of him. The
cooking and cleaning was enough, but he also did laundry, even
though Tim hadn’t asked him to. Ben ran baths for him too, Tim
having to bathe with the cast propped up on the tub’s edge. Once,
during their first weekend together, he even let Ben keep him
company in the bathroom while he bathed. The shower curtain had
been pulled, of course, but not completely, since the way Ben snuck
looks at his body definitely wasn’t bad for Tim’s ego.

In a way, they were like an
old married couple not interested in sex anymore. At least Tim
wasn’t. Not even thoughts of scoring with Krista could rouse his
appetite. Maybe the pills were to blame for that. The constant
drowsiness was starting to annoy him, so after being on them nearly
two weeks, Tim decided to quit. He was out of the pills anyway, and
not having them refilled would give Ben less to complain about,
since Tim had fallen asleep early the last couple of
nights.

When the phone rang
Thursday afternoon, Tim grinned as he reached for it. Most likely
it was Ben, worrying about what they were going to have for dinner.
“What’s up, sweet cheeks?”

“
Hey man, where you
been?”

The voice was unmistakable,
possessing the smooth confidence of the rich and
popular.

“
Hey! Darryl! Didn’t Krista
tell you?”

“
Krista? Don’t you mean
sweet cheeks?”

Tim choked but managed to
make it sound like a laugh. “Yeah. I thought she’d be calling.
Anyway, she didn’t fill you in?”

“
She did. Your ankle is
jacked up, huh?”

“
Yeah.”

Krista had called last
week, but Tim had only told half the truth, saying his parents
weren’t letting him go out. He wasn’t sure why he lied. Maybe
because he was enjoying the easy evenings with Ben. Now the idea of
hanging out with the guys, sneaking a few beers after school at
Darryl’s place, sounded nice. As did the attention Krista normally
lavished on him.

“
We thought you’d be back
by now,” Darryl pressed. “Bryce broke his arm last year and only
got a few days off.”

Tim probably wouldn’t have
gotten that much if his parents had been in town. “I’m milking it,
man. I should be back on Monday.”

“
Krista says she hasn’t
seen you. Want me to send her over for a get-well hand
job?”

Tim snorted. “I mentioned
my parents are Catholic, right?”

“
Ah,” Darryl responded as
if this explained everything.

“
Besides, she’s a
prude.”

Darryl laughed. “Surely
she’s not
that
much of a prude! Maybe you’ve been playing it too
safe.”

“
Yeah, maybe.” Tim’s cock
twitched at the idea. Yup, those pills had definitely kept his
libido down.

“
All right, get well soon,
I guess.
Ciao!
”

“
Peace.”

Tim hung up and sat in
silence. Something about the call made him nervous. Hearing from
Darryl was like a wake-up call. His parents were due back on
Sunday. After that, it was back to reality. Playing house with Ben
had been fun, but Tim couldn’t see this world and the one he had
known coming together.

Unless he could bring Ben
with him somehow, get his friends to appreciate him. But how? He
couldn’t imagine Bryce being moved by Ben’s singing, and exposing
Ben to Stacy Shelly and Darryl Briscott wouldn’t be doing him any
favors. Tim didn’t mind them, but by comparison, Ben was too nice
and innocent.

Except for the gay thing,
which was pretty wild, but that was another problem. Ben didn’t
keep a low profile, and if Tim’s parents found out, they would
flip. No, there was only the weekend left, and then it was as good
as over. All he could do was try to enjoy what time
remained.

Despite his best efforts,
Tim felt moody when Ben showed up. The fridge was getting empty, so
Ben had brought fast food with him, but Tim only picked at it.
Afterwards they hung out on the couch, Tim increasingly sick of
being there. Without the pills, it wasn’t just sex that he missed.
Painting, running, driving—anything sounded better than more
television. He switched off the TV and tossed aside the remote with
a sigh.

“
You okay?” Ben
asked.

“
Not really.” Tim pushed
himself up. “Let’s go for a walk or something.”

“
The way you swing around
on those crutches, I’d never keep up with you.” Ben chewed his lip,
searching for inspiration. “How about the back patio? You guys have
a nice yard. We can hang out there.”

“
Yeah, okay.”

Tim wasn’t sold on the idea
until they were outside. A nice stretch of lawn—made secluded by
strategically placed trees instead of a fence—awaited them. The
bugs were humming a mellow tune, nearly drowning out the
neighborhood air conditioners that clicked on and off in the
distance. Ben helped Tim get settled into one of the wooden lawn
chairs, adjusting the pillows for him. Then Ben lit the Tiki
torches, and in the dwindling daylight, Tim found himself
relaxing.

“
Grab me a beer from
inside, and this will be paradise.”

Ben hesitated. “Won’t your
parents notice?”

“
I don’t care. Get one for
yourself too.”

Ben came back with only one
can of beer, which he handed to Tim.

“
Thanks.” He cracked it
open and took a sip. Yeah, not bad at all.

They sat together in
silence—just what Tim needed. That’s something else Ben was good
at. He could read Tim’s moods like nobody else. Krista was a
nonstop chatter box, but Ben was content to just hang out with him.
Not that it was fair to keep comparing them, but it was hard not
to. If things were just a little different, if Tim was gay or if
Ben was a girl, he would be walking down the halls with Ben hanging
off his arm. The thought made him laugh.