So Much to Learn (60 page)

He sighed and
for a moment there his face looked as haggard and tired as an old
man's. "I don't know why I keep letting you do this to me, Talia. I
think I have everything sorted out in my head and then you come
along and it's all just…crap! I don't think I've had a full nights’
sleep since this started."

"Me neither," I
said quietly, removing my hands from his and sitting back on my
heels. Sure I had wanted to know what he was thinking but hearing
that I made his life crap wasn't exactly what I’d been after. I
looked down, and bit my lip to stop myself letting out a wail of
anguish.

"Hey." Jack's
voice was suddenly gentle and I tilted my face up to look at him.
"Maybe we've stumbled across the meaning of love then: insomnia."
He smiled the lopsided smile that I’d been missing so much and I
felt my chest swell with hope. "Look," he continued, "I could be
bitter about this. I could refuse to talk to you and go off to
Cambridge with nothing decided like the wounded party has the right
to do but I can't help but think that that would just be the
proverbial shooting in the foot."

"So what are
you saying?" I asked cautiously, not wanting to make more of an
idiot out of myself than I had already by reading more into his
words than he'd intended.

"Ah, what the
hell?" He brushed one of my curls back from my face and tucked it
behind my ear. "Sleep is overrated anyway. Let's do this."

"You
mean…?"

"Tally," he
finally let a full smile stretch across his face, "I've tried being
with you and I've tried being apart from you; being with you is
better. Much better."

I gave a shriek
of pure joy and flung myself at him, hearing him laugh warmly as my
arms wrapped around him tightly. He obviously hadn't been
anticipating the full power of my exuberance, however, as he was
knocked off balance by me and we fell backwards together onto the
grass.

"Sorry," I
giggled, lifting myself up slightly so I could look at him.

"Don't be." He
wrapped his arms around me, his hands warm against my back. "I
think it's about time you stopped apologising, don't you?"

Forgiveness
tastes very sweet indeed! I was worried for a moment that I was
going to burst into huge, happy sobs but I managed to swallow my
ecstatic tears back down and whisper, "Kiss me Jack."

And so he
did.

His lips felt
even better than I remembered and my eyes flickered closed in
contentment. I could feel his mouth lift up in a smile and mine did
the same until we were virtually grinning at each other through our
kiss. I didn't remember us ever having kissed with such a bubble of
happiness surrounding us. Passion, sure, there had always been
tonnes of that, but this seemed freer somehow, more joyous.

As our lips
parted and our hands gripped each more tightly, however, the smiles
faded replaced by the urgency of desire built up during our lips
long absence from one another. I moved my hands to his face, and
tilted my head more to the side, trying to get closer still to him.
That urge to consume, to meld into one, hit me again and my skin
tingled with sparks as one of Jack's hands descended to brush the
skin on my thigh where my hem lay. Our angle was somewhat awkward
and I wriggled slightly trying to find that place where our bodies
just…fit.

Obviously
feeling the same, Jack rolled us over in one quick movement so that
I lay underneath him, one of his legs pressed between my own, his
pelvic bone hard against mine. The fabric of my dress rucked up as
I hooked my right leg around his hip and I gasped into Jack's mouth
as his fingers dug into the skin this move revealed. My own hands
burrowed underneath his suit jacket and set to work pulling the
shirt free of his trousers until I could spread my palms across his
muscled back unhindered.

I didn't care that we were only hidden by a thin screen of
bushes, I didn't care that I was making little gasping noises that
anyone near us would surely have been able to hear, I just
didn't
care
! All I
wanted was Jack and my bliss at touching, and being touched by, him
again drove all rational thought out of my mind. In a way it was
terrifying, this feeling of total surrender, but I guess you know
you truly love someone when you are willing to give them that power
over you.

"I think they
went in there."

As far gone as
I was, I was still able to recognise my dad's voice and my eyes
flicked open in alarm at how near he sounded. Jack's eyes were open
too and decidedly panicked looking.

"Jack?" My mum
was clearly standing just on the other side of the bushes
concealing us. "Are you having sex with my daughter in there?"

Mortified
giggles bubbled up inside me and I buried my head against Jack's
shoulder to muffle them.

"No, Mrs D,"
Jack replied, slight amusement and exasperation mixing with his
apparent horror at being caught making out with me.

"Good." Through
her brisk tone I thought I could detect some humour in my mother's
voice. "Then the pair of you should get out here, we're about to
cut the cake."

Cake? Jack and
I must have been outside so long we'd missed dinner! Oh well, Jack
was doubtless tastier than anything the caterers would have had to
offer. There was the distinct sound of two pairs of footsteps
walking off and Jack and I stared at each other for a moment, our
expressions mirror images of shock and hilarity.

"Damn," Jack
whispered before we both burst out laughing. For a minute or so we
just clung to each other and shook with mirth, our laughter
exorcising the jolt that we'd both received at almost being caught
in an extremely compromising position by my parents. Eventually our
chuckles subsided and Jack rolled off me and got to his feet before
helping me up. I smoothed my dress down as he tucked his shirt back
in and straightened his jacket but I knew that, as much as we tried
to make ourselves presentable, there would be no concealing what
we'd been doing in the bushes. Even if people overlooked the
wrinkles and creases in our clothes not to mention the grass
stains, our plump, almost bruised lips and crumpled hair would
leave them in no doubt as to what we'd been up to.

Still, I've
said it before and I'll say it again, I just didn't care!

I reached up
and pushed back some of Jack's hair, using my fingers to try and
return the dark strands into some kind of hairstyle, but I was
interrupted from my efforts as Jack wrapped one arm around my waist
and gave me a short, fierce kiss. Pulling away he grinned. "I think
the hair is a lost cause, let's go get some cake."

Emerging out of
the bushes, our arms wrapped around each other, we made our way
back into the tent, blinking slightly at the bright light. Mum and
Dad were standing in the middle of the marquee with their hands
grasping the handle of a knife, hovering above a mammoth pavlova
which Tommo's mum had made for the occasion.

"There you
are!" My mum shouted, completely shattering any hopes I'd
entertained of us entering the room unobtrusively. "Come up
here."

The crowd
parted to allow Jack and me to move to the centre to join my
parents and Matt, who was standing by my father's elbow. I tried to
catch his eye to see how he was reacting to Jack's and my very
'couply' appearance, but he was determinedly looking at the cake
and I bit back a small sigh.

"Now that the
lovebirds have graced us with their presence," my mum was saying,
making me cringe back against Jack, "we can get on with our
ceremonial cake cutting. Or rather pavlova cutting as it may be.
Before we do so, however, I just wanted to say that I love my
husband, he is my best friend and the best root I ever had."

"
Mum
!" Matt
and I both moaned in horror at the same time as the crowd erupted
into loud cheers and applause. I think the drink must have started
flowing pretty freely while Jack and I were outside.

"Thank you,
darling." My dad kissed my mum with a loud smacking sound. "You're
not so bad yourself."

They made the
first cut and then Tommo's mum took over, efficiently dividing the
rest of the mammoth egg whites creation and distributing it to
those who wanted some. The pavlova recipe was legendary in Bridunna
and I had no hesitation accepting a big slab and pouring a stream
of raspberry sauce over it. I had just taken a big crumbly bite
when Matt appeared, not looking too happy.

"Oi, Whitby, I
want a word with you," he snapped irritably, clearly our
dishevelled appearance and subsequent good imitation of Siamese
twins had not done much for his temper. Jack nodded seriously and
unwrapped his arm from around my shoulders.

"I'll be back
in a minute," he promised me, leaning down and kissing me on the
cheek and I knew that was his way of telling me that, whatever Matt
said, he wasn't going to back out of what we had going on.

I nodded to
show I understood and appreciated what he was saying but couldn't
reply with my mouth full of Pavlova. I watched anxiously as the
boys walked off, both their postures stiff with the 'man swagger'
in full display. I hoped they would drop the macho act and just
talk to each other, then again what were the odds of that? I was
just wondering whether I should set some kind of time limit and go
and find them if they didn't return within it when I felt someone
touch my elbow gently. Turning I saw Simone had battled her way
through the crowd and was beaming widely with one arm looped
through Micky's.

"Looks like
things worked out!" She laughed, her eyes sparkling and I nodded
excitedly.

"Here, give me
that," Micky said gesturing towards the plate of dessert I was
holding. I stared at him in surprise and pulled it closer against
me protectively.

"Um, no this is
mine. Get your own." I barely restrained my voice from being a
snap, but there was still a definite edge to it.

He made a big
show of rolling his eyes. "I'm not trying to steal your food, I'm
offering to hold it while you jump around and squeal. In my limited
experience that is usually the move that comes next when chicks get
all excited."

"Oh." I felt
foolish and kind of surprised at Micky's insight into the female
psyche. I mean I'm sure there are plenty of girls out there who can
deal with joy in a very repressed, mature way but I didn't know
any. I hesitated a moment more before giving Micky the plate and
wondered whether this counted as a peace offering. Probably not, I
decided, as he sneered at me and snatched my food away.

Still, I
couldn't be doing with his filthy attitude right now. Nothing was
going to take away the glow of contentment I was feeling; not
Matt's bad attitude and certainly not bloody Micky. I grabbed
Simone's arms and we bounced up and down and shrieked unabashedly,
ignoring the old timers who jumped and looked at us
reprovingly.

Giggling,
Simone and I released each other and, if it hadn't been for Micky's
sullen presence beside us, it would have been exactly like old
times. Micky passed my food back and I scarfed it down while Simone
told me about what I had missed while I'd been outside with Jack.
Once I'd finished and thrown away the empty plate she grabbed me
with one hand and Micky with the other and dragged us both into the
clear space designated for dancing. The DJ was playing a mix of
cheesy 80's songs and it wasn't long before pretty much everyone
was up dancing. I amused myself for a time watching Micky trying
not to dance because he was too cool for it whilst secretly
desperately wanting to, but I always kept one eye on the place
where Jack and Matt had exited the tent.

I was beginning
to get sweaty and tired from flinging myself about so much when I
finally saw them both returning. I pointed at them to show Simone
where I was going and she squeezed my hand quickly to wish me good
luck. The two boys were still talking intently as I approached, but
as soon as he caught sight of me, Matt closed his mouth and folded
his arms.

Arriving beside
them I glanced first at Jack to see if I could gauge how the
conversation had gone from his expression and then, when I was
still in the dark, at my brother. Matt was red in the face and
there was a hard set to his jaw.

"So…?" I asked
tentatively after several moments of silence.

Matt looked
stonily at Jack while he in turn looked levelly back, not as
challengingly as Matt but just as strongly. With a disgusted shrug
Matt snapped, "You're the best and worst people I would ever pick
for the pair of you, you know? Just don't…Jack you know the
drill."

And then he
stalked off.

"So…how did it
go?" I asked in confusion, not sure whether the news was good or
bad.

"Well, he
didn't punch me again," Jack smiled slightly, "so there's some
improvement." Seeing my crestfallen face he gave one of my curls an
affectionate little tug and his smile widened. "Hey, he's still
pissed off at the way we lied to him but he's getting over it. We
have a kind of understanding."

"This is one of
those things I just have to let be because it will fall into place
naturally, isn't it?" The tone of my voice demonstrated how little
I liked those things as I was a born meddler.

"Yep," Jack
agreed.

I pondered the
strange workings of the male mind (and they say women are
confusing!) for a moment and then Jack slung an arm across my
shoulders once more, drawing me out of my musings.

"Come on,
forget about all the bullshit, we're here to celebrate. Let's
dance."

~*~

Three Months
Later…

"Am I drunk?"
Matt asked stumbling into the flat, his hands full of presents,
streamers, balloons and all the other paraphernalia that is usually
left over after a party.