So Much It Hurts (14 page)

“Yeah, right,” I looked at my reflection in the window.

“Well, at least you have a pretty convincing story, right?”

Just then, we heard feet shuffling into the kitchen. “Chris!” his mother’s voice boomed. “What have you done?”

“Nothing mom. I was just helping her out,” he said truthfully.

“Chris,” his mom repeated accusingly.

I practiced my story on her. “It’s not his fault. I called him to come help me. I was out shopping and I tripped on a curb and landed on the pavement. My eyes were too swollen to drive myself home so I called Chris to come get me.”

It worked.

“I hope you’re okay,” she told me as she grabbed her reading glasses off the kitchen counter and disappeared into the dimly lit living room.

“Well, at least you’ve had some practice in getting your story straight,” Chris said half-jokingly.

“Yeah, I’m not a very good liar,” I admitted.

He winked at me. “I can tell.”

“There’s just one more big favor I need,” I told him.

“You name it,” he said whole-heartedly.

“Okay. I need to sneak home, get my car, take it to the Stop-n-Shop, and have you bring me back home again.” I felt sure my parents were already asleep in bed. They felt comfortable going to bed even when they knew I was out with Trevor. I guess they thought Trevor would keep me safe.
Ha!
“I’ll just tell my parents that Trevor dropped me back off at home after the movie and I hopped in my car and headed back out for a little shopping. That’s convincing, right?” I asked, not certain I even convinced myself.

“I guess. You don’t really have a choice, right? I mean your mom saw you leave with Trevor. She’s going to wonder why you needed me to come pick you up,” he reasoned.

“I’m just not ready to tell her the truth. I’m not sure she would believe me. She thinks the world of Trevor.” Quite honestly, I wasn’t sure if anyone besides Chris would believe me if I told the truth. Trevor was the Golden Boy, the star athlete, the model student, and every underclassman’s hero. Everyone loved him.

It didn’t take long to sneak my car out of the driveway and drop it off at Stop-n-Shop. I was a little disappointed that my night with Chris was coming to an end. In the meantime, my cell phone had rung off the hook. I finally put it on silent mode after the tenth time. Chris and I sat in his car and listened to the many voice mail messages Trevor left for me. They ranged in emotions from angry death threats to pleading declarations of love.

“Save those,” Chris suggested. “You might need them later.”

“Good idea,” I agreed.

We pulled into my driveway a little after one in the morning. My curfew was normally midnight, but my parents had gone to bed long before that. They would never know what time I actually arrived home. When they thought I was with Trevor, they never enforced the curfew.

“Thank you again for coming to my rescue,” I stated, staring at Chris in the driver’s seat.

“Anytime. That’s what I told you, and that’s what I meant. I’m glad you called me,” he said. “Under different circumstances, I would tell you I had a great time tonight.”

“It’s okay,” I assured him. I understood what he meant, because I felt exactly the same way.

Chris watched me in the darkness. “He doesn’t deserve you, Kaitlyn. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.” Chris reached over and took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together. The touch of his hand ignited a warmth upon my skin. It burned its way up my arm. A sensuous longing permeated throughout my body. My heart jump started in my chest as pounding adrenaline coursed through my entire body. “I would never hurt you, you know,” he continued, rubbing his thumb across the soft flesh of my hand. “I mean, if you were
my
girl, I would never do anything to hurt you.
Ever.
You would mean too much to me. Trevor should feel the same way. It’s not fair the way he treats you, and he
still
gets the girl.”

“I know. You’re right,” I said sadly, staring at the interlocked fingers of our hands in my lap. “I can’t explain it. Trevor and I have been together almost two years. He was my first real boyfriend. I was in too deep before I realized what he was capable of doing to me. I broke up with him tonight, but this fight isn’t over. He might have left me alone in that parking lot, but I’ll have to face him again. What scares me the most is that he’ll
convince
me to take him back.” I winced at the memory of Trevor’s death threat, but continued, “For reasons I can’t explain, I can’t seem to get away from him. I know you don’t understand. No one does…” my voice trailed off. The shiny black 9mm that I knew Trevor kept in a locked box under his bed was the reason I couldn’t explain; it was the reason no one understood. Fear kept me tied to Trevor. Fear alone.

Reaching upward, Chris tenderly grasped my chin in his hand and tilted my head up to look at me. “You’re right. I don’t understand. I don’t understand
at all
, but I hope whatever happens, you’ll do what’s best for
you
. You’re amazing, you know that? You’re smart and funny. He’s too selfish to appreciate what he has. He shouldn’t get to wrap his arms around you or kiss your beautiful lips. God, Kaitlyn, I wish like hell you were
my
girl, not his. He isn’t worthy of you. Please wake up and realize there’s someone right here in front of you that would treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

I peered into his chestnut brown eyes. Feeling dizzy with the tempest of emotions swirling in my mind, I tried to quiet the bedlam of feelings that he had just created inside of me. Chris looked intently at me, pleading silently for me to reason with him. His dark, stormy irises stirred up complete pandemonium inside my heart. I couldn’t speak. I could only gaze at him through the darkness that surrounded us while he gently removed his hand from my chin and cupped the uninjured side of my face. The warmth of his hand sent yearning pulses of desire through my body, echoing their way down to the tips of my toes.

“Well, I hope you can get some sleep tonight,” he whispered as he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, then ran his thumb down the length of my jaw line and caressed my sensitive skin. My breath caught in my throat. I wished I could think of something brilliant to say.

“Thanks. You too.” It was all I could muster. I quietly stepped out of his car and tiptoed my way to the house. With one single glance back in his direction, I caught him watching me as I made my way up the walkway toward my front porch. Knowing his eyes were glued on me, I felt a spring in my step as I ascended the stairs toward the front door.

My phone rang and alerted me with texts the rest of the night. Thankfully I left it on silent mode, serving Trevor right. I had no desire to speak to him—especially not after my emotionally charged conversation, and strangely glorious night, with Chris.

The next morning I awoke to muffled voices coming from the living room. Sleepily, I walked into the room. Sitting in the recliner, along with my mom and dad who were sitting together on the sofa, was Trevor.
Trevor!

“Oh my god!” he screeched, jumping up at the same time my mom and dad sprang to their feet. “When I didn’t see your car in the driveway, I got worried!” He sounded convincing to anyone who didn’t know the truth.

I glared at him.

My mom gasped when she saw my face. “What happened to you?!” She rushed over and put her arm around me.

I never took my eyes off of Trevor as I spoke, “Well, after Trevor dropped me off at home I needed to run out to the Stop-n-Shop. I had to get some tampons. You guys were already asleep and I figured you wouldn’t mind since I didn’t plan to be there for long. While I was there, I tripped on a curb and fell onto the pavement. It’s okay; it looks worse than it feels,” I lied.

“Where is your car?” my dad inquired. “How did you get home?”

“I called a friend.” There was no need to tell them about Chris.

Trevor looked relieved. I glowered at him. I didn’t lie to protect him. I was just too afraid to admit the truth, so I lied to protect myself.

“Thank you,” he mouthed when my parents weren’t looking.

Whatever.
I rolled my eyes at him. “I’m still tired…and sore,” I added. “I think I’m going back to bed. Goodbye Trevor.” I hoped the look I gave him got my point across. I wanted him to leave.

“Okay, sweetie,” my mom cooed. “You go back to bed. I’ll fix you something to eat when you get up.” I knew she was worried about me.

“Trevor can call you later,” my dad piped up.

“Whatever,” I muttered under my breath as I headed back upstairs to my room. Thankfully, my bedroom was on the second floor, or I would have been worried that Trevor would try to climb through my window.

It was two o’clock in the afternoon when I finally got out of bed. I crept downstairs hoping to avoid my parents.

“Oh, there you are sleepy-head!” my mom said, eyeing me over the novel she was reading. “Are you hungry?”

“No, thanks,” I said. My mouth hurt too bad to chew anyway, but I didn’t tell her that.

“Okay,” she stated, looking back at her book.

Good.
She looked engrossed. Maybe I could get Allison to drive me to the Stop-n-Shop to pick up my car. I wasn’t terribly confident that my story would work on her though.

“Hello?” Allison answered.

I tried to sound happy. “Hey, Allie. What are you up to?” I asked, attempting to rearrange the shoes on a rack in my closet.

“Not much,” she sighed with boredom. I heard what sounded like her cat bumping his head against her phone and loud purring echoed into the handset.

“Wanna go to the mall?”

“Sure!” she perked up. “I need a new shirt to wear to my cousin’s birthday party in a few weeks.”

“Can you come pick me up, though?”

“Yeah, where’s your car?”

“It’s a long story,” I explained as I placed the last pair of shoes neatly onto the rack.

“Okay, you can tell me when I get there,” she said.

“See you later,” I told her.

“Okay, bye!”

“Oh! Hey, Allie!” I exclaimed, fearful that she was close to hanging up the phone.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t freak out when you see me.”

“Okay…” she sounded intrigued.

I decided that I would explain it when she got to my house. Not long after we got off the phone, Allison pulled into the driveway. Grabbing my purse, I bounded down the stairs and opened the passenger door of her silver Prelude.

She gasped. “What happened?” I could tell she was trying hard not to freak out.

I told her my fabricated story as I settled into the seat next to her.

She eyed me suspiciously. “Kaitlyn. Do you really expect me to believe that garbage?” Allison asked when I finally buckled my seatbelt. If anyone would’ve guessed the truth, it would have been Allison. She knew more about Trevor than she let on, so her questioning comes as no surprise.

“What do you mean?” I asked nervously.

“Look. I’m your best friend. I have known you most of my life. We grew up together, remember? You are an awesome cheerleader who can tumble and stunt with the best of them. Clumsy is not a word I would use to describe you.”

Gulp.
“Seriously, Allison. I really did trip. It was dark, and I had my hands full. I just didn’t see the curb. People make mistakes, Allie. Geez, get off my back.”

“Okay, okay.” She held her hands up, surrendering. “Whatever. You tripped. I get it.”

I immediately reprimanded myself. What was so hard about admitting the truth? Deep down, I knew the answer to that question. I would have to acknowledge the way I have allowed Trevor to treat me for so long. I would have to confess my weakness in letting myself become a doormat. I’d have to proclaim my failure to stand up for myself and declare to everyone else, that I was a victim. I was
not
ready for that. “I know,” I softened my tone. “I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m a little cranky.”

“It’s all right. Nothing a little retail therapy won’t help.”

“Yeah…” I said, glancing out the window.

She changed the subject. “So, Eric and I…well, we…uh, we finally did it.”

I reached down and pressed the power button on the radio to silence the loud raucous music blaring from the speakers. “What? You did the deed? Oh my god, Allison! Why didn’t you tell me?”