Six Years (24 page)

I was breathing loudly, too fast. My eyes watered, but I didn’t let any tears fall. Not over this when it was so ridiculous. He didn’t do anything wrong and I knew that he wasn’t one to disrespect me to the point of going behind my back to see his ex or any other girl for that matter.

“I swear to you that I didn’t do anything. I told her that it was pointless to try and put everything on you and that if she had everything she should go. And she left. That’s all.’’

I calmed down at his soothing voice and his sincere tone. Maybe he was playing me and he wasn’t that okay after he saw his ex, but I wanted to believe that he put me before her. I needed someone to put me first for once.

“I shouldn’t go off like that on you. I hate that you had to go so soon and I…’’ I trailed off.

“You what? Tell me or else we will always be fighting over some shit. Talk to me.’’

The plea in his voice  chased away the anger in me. If I was honest, it wasn’t only anger driving me on here, but fear too. I bit on my lip and hesitantly told him the truth.

“I wanted you to ask me to come with you. It’s ridiculous, I know.’’

He groaned in the phone and cleared his throat. “I didn’t ask because it’s always tense when I mention your work or money so I thought it’d be best to not say a word. But if you can come, tell me and I’ll arrange something for you first thing tomorrow. Just say the word, Brooklyn.’’

I shivered at the way he said my name, as if in a whisper. It was like putting balm on a burn, so very soothing after such a pain. “I can’t, but I wanted to hear you ask. It’s a girl thing, I guess.’’

“I never mastered the girl dialect.’’ He chuckled and I let out a pitiful laugh.

The tension in my body slowly deserted me and I sank deeper in the old couch. “Let’s talk about your meeting with your agent. How did it go?’’

“Great,’’ he said with a new excitement in the voice. “He explained the contract to me, what he had negotiated and he gave me a copy of the script. Can you believe it? It’s crazy. And if I want to, I can even go to some of the auditions or they’ll send me video samples.’’

“It’s like a dream, right? It’s a far cry from when you wrote short stories on bits of paper with a cheap pen.’’

“So much has happened over the years.’’

It’s true. A lot had happened over the years. Some good, some bad. I had a lot of crap thrown my way but it was my fault and I had to deal with the consequences while he built himself a life, having his dreams come true while mine got lost in the wind. My enthusiasm started to sink so I decided to change the course of my thoughts and focus on tomorrow and his plans.

“You meet the executive director tomorrow, right?’’

“Yeah and a bunch of other people who will work on the movie. We’re going for lunch but I think it’ll last a while so I won’t be able to drive back until the day after tomorrow.’’

“That’s fine, I understand. Focus on your career. It’s more important.’’

“It’s not more important, Brooklyn.’’

I cleared my throat, feeling my heart beat faster as a blush started to creep up my cheeks, heating up my face. “I saw your mother today,’’ I blurted out, not even thinking about what his reaction would be. It was always complicated when it came to him and his mother, and I was about to ruin his elation.

“How is she?’’ he asked in a subdued voice, as if he didn’t know how to feel or what he felt anymore.

“Weak. She coughs quite a lot and she is in pain. I suppose it was to be expected.’’

“Did you talk about me?’’

“Of course. I needed someone to tell me that you really care about me and that you’d come back.’’

He laughed and I heard him opening what I though was a beer. He took a sip and I closed my eyes, imagining him on his couch in a modern and slick loft in New York with the city bright outside.

“I’m not ready to give up on us.’’

I sucked on my breath at the word ‘us’. Us. Were we an us? “The sex was that good for you?’’ I teased him with a throaty laugh, almost spilling my iced tea on my clothes.

“Don’t tell me you’ve had enough. You were ready to jump me this morning,’’ he whispered low into the phone, his velvety voice hitting all the right buttons.

I crossed my legs but it didn’t help the building ache for him. “Don’t play that game.’’

“What game?’’

“The game where you seduce me over the phone, but do nothing about it,’’ I whispered back, my voice more husky than earlier without even meaning to. My nipples hardened under my t-shirt.

“If you think I’m not ready for some phone sex with you, Brooklyn, think again. I miss hearing your moans and my name when you come. Fuck, I’m hard just thinking about it.’’

I bit back a whimper and put my glass on the coffee table. I blushed some more at the thought of where this was going. Everything felt like new territory and it was so freaking exciting.

“You should see what your words are doing to me.’’

“Tell me,’’ he groaned into the receiver, his voice washing over me and goosebumps broke out over my bare skin. I closed my eyes again to better enjoy every inflections in his voice, the slight growls coming from his throat while I pictured his body with very little clothes on or better yet, clothes easy to strip off.

“My nipples are hard and I’m not wearing a bra. I’d love if you could touch me, Nolan.’’ I bit my lower lip. I was debating between giggling and sighing. While I wasn’t a virgin and had had sex with a few men since I had lost my virginity at fifteen, I had never come close to having phone sex. It felt naughty and I loved it.

“You have no idea what I’d do to tease your nipples until you beg me to take you,’’ he growled back, his breathing slightly louder than minutes ago. Mine accelerated the same, my skin feeling hot and oversensitive already. I responded so fast to just his voice. “Imagine my hands on your round pert breasts under your shirt, imagine my fingers teasing your nipples until you moan while I’m kissing the hell out of you.’’ His voice was low and deep from desire. His passion was dangerously close to consume me whole, even through the phone. Last night was still very fresh and the memory fueled me.

I fumbled with my phone and put it on speaker, not questioning what we were doing. After all, I was a grown-up living on my own and my new boyfriend was on the phone. It’s not that weird of a thing to do.

I closed my eyes to better delve into our little bubble and let my hands travel to my breasts, aching and heavy, awaiting for any kind of stimulation. I began slowly by pushing my shirt higher, my fingers gliding over my soft skin until I reached the round swell of my breasts. I chuckled silently at my brazenness and cupped both breasts, my fingers teasing my hard nipples, tugging on them until the light pain unleashed waves of hot desire in my belly, soaking my panties. My breathing sucked in my throat audibly and Nolan’s breathing became more erratic.

“Tell me you’re touching yourself.’’

I swallowed and cleared my throat, not once stopping myself or opening my eyes. I didn’t want to face the emptiness of my apartment and break the spell of this fantasy. It was too good to stop. “I am, and it feels damn good.’’

“You’re killing me,’’ he said part kidding part serious.

“Then lose your pants and shirt, Nolan. Imagine me licking your abs, kissing you pecs and biting your neck while you’re touching my breasts,’’ I replied softly between building pants as I was craving to release some of the pent up tension this experiment created in me. I just wanted to bring a finger or two inside me and all the while hearing him barely keeping himself from moaning. God, I could just picture it.

“Fuck,’’ he mumbled before I heard the muffled sound of clothes being taken off. The sound of his zipper was music to my ears. This time, I moaned, unable to stop myself any longer, not wanting to either. “Start guiding one of your hands down your body, Brooklyn. I want you to tease your clit, slowly, baby. Very slow, just enough to make yourself feel hot for more, to beg for more. I want you to fucking beg me.’’ His voice became more urgent, more husky and I shivered.

I followed his instructions and as soon as the tip of my finger touched my sensible clit, I moaned his name, breathless. “Wrap your hand around your cock, Nolan. Start slow but tease your tip with you thumb.’’ I knew he was doing it, but he wasn’t emitting any sound. In fact, I couldn’t hear him breathing. “Let me hear how good it is.’’

He groaned and I finally could hear his breathing hard and short. I started to put some more pressure on my clit and I needed more. My blood buzzed in my veins, in my temples. My heart was playing a fast tune, but I was denied, and it was damn good.

“Nolan—‘’ I drew his name out, as I tensed. My thighs started to clamp around my wrists on their own accord. My body was betraying me shamelessly.

“Wh…What do you want?’’ he stuttered shortly in between pants he was unable to conceal anymore and I’d be damned if it didn’t make it all the more enthralling. “Tell me what you want me to do to you.’’

“More. I want more.’’

“Beg, baby,’’ he replied with the dark desire I saw lurking underneath last night. In my head I could just see his eyes darkening, his eyes looking at me with sin written all over his face. I could even feel the strength of his body, the heat of his big hands on my body.

“Please, Nolan,’’ I whispered in a sigh. In my life, granted it’s a short life, I had never begged for sex, never had to and I had been missing out. My whole body clenched as I let him have the control.

He groaned and I heard him through the phone accelerating his movements and I didn’t even try to lead the game or fight for some control. “That’s right. Start with one finger in your pussy and then, when you begin to clench your finger harder, put another one. And I want to hear my name coming from your lips, Brooklyn. Imagine it’s my cock in you, thrusting long and hard. Again. And. Again.’’

I moaned as I pushed a finger and let it all go. Our moans became more ardent, more precipitated. I didn’t know if it was his name that came from me or inarticulate sounds. The best wasn’t how my fingers felt inside of me, ready to take away some of the need for him, but his voice begging for me not to stop, encouraging me to moan louder, to go faster until we both exploded. My back arched off the couch and my legs straightened as I rode my orgasm, my eyelids firmly closed and my mouth opened in a last moan that tore out of me. A second later, Nolan followed me and we were both silent, breathing fast in the phone but not speaking a word.

Everything in me was fuzzy, even my vision was blurry and I wasn’t sure it really happened. I went from mad, to scared to downright lusting for Nolan in the course of a day.  And now I was half naked on my couch with my hand still down my panties and my body spent with a fine sheen of sweat coating it.

“Brooklyn?’’ he called after me, his voice hesitant and so much deeper than usual.

I blinked and straightened my clothes. “Yeah?’’

“Uh… Are you alright?’’

“It was good, wasn’t it? I mean, it’s not like I ever did something like that,’’ I babbled and clamped my lips down, feeling stupid for speaking without thinking and letting my doubts known. I was out of my depths and I didn’t know what to make of it because that’s when it was obvious that he had more years of experience.

He chuckled and it made me smile hearing the deep sound coming from the other end of the phone. If only I could snuggle with him right now. I missed his arms around me. Last night he kept me close to him, connected one way or another with always at least a hand on me.

“It was fantastic and it’s even better now that I know you have never experienced it with someone else. It’s all mine.’’

“You’re one possessive guy. I never knew about that side of you.’’ I sat on the couch and sipped the remaining iced tea that was now more warm than icy.

“Me neither.’’ He cleared his throat and sipped something, probably the beer he’d had put away when we started to slip into naughty territory. “It’s no surprise that it’s different with you. You’re my exception, the one person I never could forget, the one person I can’t resist, the one person able to see all of me and still be there, wanting me even more.’’

“Nolan—‘’

“Don’t say a word, Brooklyn. Let’s say goodnight now while we’re still in the after glow of sex. I’ll call you tomorrow morning.’’

“Goodnight, then.’’

“’Night,’’ he whispered and hung up.

I put my cell phone on the coffee table, unsure of what to make of his words. How not to have my hopes up? How not wishing for more than just good sex and undeniable chemistry with a complicated past weighing between us? How not to go to bed without dreaming for the fucking perfect picture of the love life building into a family of our own one day, a family with kids that would look a lot like a mix of us both? How?

For the girl who spent the better part of her life wanting this, it’s impossible not to. I couldn’t and under the cover of the night, I let myself dream, let my heart swell with the possibilities and let my mind wander. Just for tonight.

* * *

NOLAN

I balled my shirt and wiped my stomach, too lazy to get up and go to take a shower just yet. I didn’t tell Brooklyn and maybe I should have because I knew she was still doubting me and our relationship, but phone sex was a first for me too.