Sinner (13 page)

Chapter Four

Josie

I can’t believe I almost gave my virginity to that lying asshole. He somehow has a wife that he’s hidden from everybody, but he was about to have sex with me in the pool and not tell me about her. I want to strangle him, but I have a bone to pick with someone else first.

“Why didn’t you tell me he’s married?” I yell at Andy as soon as he opens the door to his room.

“You mean Yvette? How did you find out about her?” He asks me without answering my question.

“I don’t know her name. I just know she is down in the lobby looking for him.”

“Oh shit. I’m sure he’ll tell you all about it. It’s not what you think.” He says and takes off down the hall towards the elevator.

“That’s what he said too.” I call after him, but he doesn’t turn around.

I go back to my room to sulk, alone. Now I’m pissed and worried, and I wish I knew what the hell is going on. They both said it’s not what I think, but how can a woman with a marriage license be anything other than exactly what I think?

I spy the mini bar, and I don’t think again for the rest of the night. I’ve never gotten drunk alone before, but I was about to give a man with a wife my heart and my virginity.

I was going to give him my heart?

That thought sends me over the edge and the lump in my throat becomes a flash flood of sobbing, ugly crying. I polish off two more mini bottles of tequila and pass out on the suite’s sofa watching some slasher flick I rented from the pay movies.

The next day is awful between the raging hangover, that I deserved, and the horrible anxiety that can’t be quelled because neither Andy nor Zach is around. I don’t feel comfortable asking any of the other band members about Yvette, but they are happy to have the extra help since Zach isn’t around to monopolize my time.

The guys don’t show up for sound check either, but the band’s manager, Bart, lets me know to leave it alone. He swears they’ll be around in time for the start of the show, and sure enough, both of them rush in looking like shit less than an hour before they are set to go onstage.

I still don’t get the chance to talk to them because an army of wardrobe, makeup, and hair people descend on them to try and make them look like rock stars instead of two guys who spent the night in a gutter.

“I’m sorry, Josie.” Andy says to me and gives me a hug on his way to the stage. “You can use my dressing room to work now, the mob has cleared out.”

Zach starts to walk towards me, but I cut him off. “Don’t even. Just do your job.”

“Josie, please.” He says, and I have to admit that he looks completely heartbroken.

Something isn’t right, so I decide that I will hear him out. I go to Andy’s dressing room, and sure enough, there is a large velvet jewelry case with a breathtaking ruby necklace inside.

“I’m sorry.” The card reads, and I throw it across the room.

I’m angry that he’s trying to buy my forgiveness, but I calm down by the time the concert is over. Andy comes back into his dressing room after the concert and strips off his sweat soaked clothes while I stand on the other side of the door.

“I know you’re going to hate me for this, but I’m going to let him tell you everything. It’s his story, and it’s his place to tell you. I’m so sorry, but I know you’ll see things differently after you talk to him. Please understand.” He says to me when he opens the door to let me back in.

“I should talk to him.” I say and anxiously twirl a wayward strand of hair that escaped my bun while I was pacing.

“Yes, you should. And, I’ll be here if you need me.”

By the time I get to Zach’s dressing room, he’s gone again. Since it’s my job to assist him, I pack up his stuff and hope that he comes back soon. He doesn’t, and he’s still missing when it’s time to leave.

The bus is packed and everybody is waiting on him, again. The tour bus has to leave now, or we’re not going to make it to the next town in time to get set up for tomorrow night’s show. I can’t believe he’s done his disappearing act on the one night that we’re on a super tight schedule.

“Go ahead. I’ll wait and we’ll fly to the next city in the morning.” I tell the bus driver.

“Are you sure about this?” Andy asks me and gives me a hug.

“It’s my job.”

Zach

I’m at the hospital waiting for Yvette’s parents when I realize that we’re going to be late for our next show if I don’t get to the bus right now. I can’t leave until they get here, though, so I call Andy. He waited with me until we had to go back for the show yesterday. Both of us slept on benches in the hospital waiting room, and we looked like hell when we went back for the show. I didn’t bring him back with me tonight even though he insisted. When he answers the phone, I’m glad he didn’t come along. I can only imagine how pissed Josie would be if she’d had to send the bus along without Andy too. She must think I’m trying to sabotage her career on purpose at this point.

“She did what?” I say into the phone and a bunch of people in the waiting room turn and look at me. “Oh man, she’s going to be even more pissed at me now. I’m at the hospital waiting for Yvette’s parents. I’ll see you when our flight gets in tomorrow morning, then.”

“Yeah, man. You need to make things right.” He scolds me. He was always the more diplomatic one.

“I’ll try. Thanks man.” I say and hang up.

It’s another hour or so before Yvette’s parents arrive at the hospital. They hug me and thank me for waiting. We don’t have much to say to each other because it’s been years since I was their son-in-law. I feel so bad for them. I thought Yvette was going to stay on her medications this time, but apparently she went off about a month ago and has been going downhill ever since.

I still pay for all of her medical care, and I know they appreciate that. Right now, they want to talk to her doctor about getting her transferred to the hospital near their home, so I let them go with a hug and a handshake.

On my way back to the concert venue, I have the cab driver stop at a grocery store, and I pick up a five-dollar bouquet of daisies. I wish I could get something more extravagant, but desperate times call for desperate measures. My heart is aching thinking of how disappointed and betrayed Josie looked last night, and I feel even worse because I’ve let her go all day without any explanation.

I had to make sure Yvette was safe and wait for her family, though. I don’t abandon people. As soon as I get back to the hotel with Josie, we’re going to sit down so I can tell her everything. Then, I’m going to beg her for forgiveness. I don’t need her forgiveness for having a past with Yvette, but I should have told Josie about everything before I let it become physical.

You see, Yvette and I ran away together, and we got married as soon as we were both eighteen. We were high school sweethearts from the ninth grade on, and I thought we would be together forever. I had a job at a local factory and she waited tables at one of the nicest restaurants in town. We rented a tiny apartment that was near her parent’s house after we eloped, and every day with her was like heaven for the first month we were married. Then, her little sister’s boyfriend got drunk at a party and crashed his car. Mirabella, Yvette’s baby sister, was sixteen when she died in the crash.

Yvette never fully recovered from the stress. Her doctor’s said the tragedy was the catalyst event for her developing schizophrenia. They don’t know for sure what causes the disease, but the doctor says it’s probably a combination of genetic predisposition and a traumatic event. The loss of her best friend and beloved sister was more than Yvette’s mind could handle.

Within six months she could no longer hold down a job, had constant hallucinations, and had stopped bathing and taking care of herself. I did everything I could, but it wasn’t enough. She started taking medication, and it helped at first, but then she stopped taking it.

A year after her diagnosis, her parents begged me to divorce her so they could take full legal guardianship of her. I didn’t want to do it, but they promised me it was the best thing for her. In the end, it was. They’ve protected her and kept her safe for the last few years, and I’ve made sure she could always have the best medical care available.

It’s been years since she had a relapse, but I guess they are always a possibility. She feels so much better on the medicine that she convinces herself she doesn’t need it anymore. When she goes off the meds, her life spirals out of control, and it has happened twice before. Once she didn’t understand that we weren’t married anymore, and the other time she was convinced that I was hurting her through the radio. Both times were before I became famous, so it was all kept very quiet.

I didn’t know what to expect when the night manager told me she was at the front desk last night, but I knew I had to act fast. Not to protect myself, but to make sure she didn’t do anything to hurt herself.

I just wish I’d had time to talk to Josie before running off like that.

Chapter Five

Josie

When I see Zach coming down the hallway in the basement of the concert hall, I stand up and clench my fists at my sides. I’m a terrible mixture of furious and scared right now, and my blood is pumping in my ears.

I don’t know why I’m scared. He can’t possible mean this much to me. Can he? These feelings are why I didn’t want to get involved with someone from a band. The drama this relationship is causing is affecting my work. No man is worth screwing up my career. Not even a man who’s as gorgeous, compassionate, and talented as Zach.

“God damn it, Josie.” I mutter to myself.

I’m furious with him, so I need to stop mooning over him like a stupid fan girl. As far as I know, he’s a liar and a cheater and I need to hold it together until he proves otherwise. Even then, I need to end any involvement with him. The new assistant, Melanie, can take over as his personal assistant and I can work with the rest of the band.

As he gets closer to me, I see that he’s got a bouquet of convenience store flowers in his hand. For some reason, that gesture makes me smile. I know that Zach’s bad boy rock star persona is important to business, but when he’s sweet and humble it melts my heart. Maybe I will hear him out.

“I should be pissed at you, Verona, but instead, I’m just worried. Are you alright? I know you’re not exactly into time, but being this late is out of character even for you.” I say and take the bouquet of daisies.

“I will tell you everything, but not here. Let’s go back to the hotel so we can talk privately.”

The cab ride to the hotel is quiet. I can tell by the way he is brooding that we have something very important to discuss, and I don’t make any attempt at small talk to fill the silence. It’s almost like I can feel the heaviness he’s carrying in his heart, and part of me just wants to reach out and help him carry it.

When we get to the hotel, we check in to two rooms. However, Zach and I both go to his room to have our conversation. I’d rather have it in somewhere a little more public, but I understand that he doesn’t want anyone to interrupt us.

The suite is lovely, and with the curtains open, we’ve got a beautiful view of the city skyline. For a second, I allow myself to wonder if the view would be even more spectacular if I were seeing it as part of a romantic rendezvous with Zach instead of because we have to have such a grave conversation.

He sits down across from me in the room’s living area, and leans forward uncomfortably in the chair. Zach takes a few deep breaths and looks like he’s contemplating how to begin. Once he starts talking, the story flows from him, and I am left completely heartbroken.

I have been so wrong about him, and I feel terrible. I judged him based on his public persona, and I’ve known enough musicians to know that most of them aren’t anything like the act they put on for the public. Zach is a money flashing bad boy because that’s what the fans expect.

Suddenly, I’m overwhelmed with the desire to know him better. There is so much about Zach that I’ve overlooked because I made incorrect assumptions about him. I want to say something, but they’ll be time for that later. Right now, my body is buzzing in a way I can’t explain.

Instead of thinking, I just stand up and look into his eyes. I unconsciously bite my lower lip, and that’s all it takes. He stands up and pulls me into his arms. We’re locked together again, and his lips are a hair’s breath away from mine.

When our mouths finally touch, the tidal wave of desire that has been building over the last few days breaks the damn and any doubts I had about how much I wanted him are completely washed away. I’m crushed against his strong chest as he pulls me closer, and it feels as if he’s trying to consume me.

I realize that the last time we were together like this, I had all of the fun and he was completely left out. So, it only seems fair that I give back. I kneel down and unbutton his jeans.

“Josie, baby, you don’t have to do that for me.” He says breathlessly.

“I know.” I say and keep going.

I pull his manhood out of his pants and take him into my mouth. After I work him slowly with my lips for a minute, Zach pulls me back to my feet and starts to strip off my shirt. I reach down and remove my skirt, and he gasps in appreciation when he sees my black lingerie and stockings.

Zach sweeps me up into his arms and carries me over to the suit’s massive king size bed. He places me in the center, strips off my panties and bra, and then stands up again to remove his shirt and jeans completely.

This is the first time I’ve seen him completely naked, and his body is magnificent. Every inch of his is chiseled perfection from his strong shoulders past his perfect six-pack abs to his sculpted thighs makes my mouth water. He slinks onto the bed like a cat, and in a blink, his body is between my legs and his mouth is covering mine.

When he’s about to enter me, I tense up. I guess I haven’t told him everything either, and now is probably the worst possible time for me to reveal my secret. He senses that something is wrong and pulls back a bit.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He whispers and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I’ve never done this before. You’re going to be my first.” I say and then bite my bottom lip nervously.

“I’ll be gentle.” He practically growls before kissing my neck. “At first.”

Zach is gentle at first, but then our bodies twist and grind together until we’re a sweaty and exhausted mess tangled in the sheets. He made my first time everything I thought it would be and more. Then something hits me like a truck and I sit bolt upright in bed.

“We didn’t use any protection.” I say trying to stay calm.

“I know.” He says and winks at me. “If I put my baby in your belly, you’ll have to be mine forever.”

“Zach Verona. You know I want a career, and I don’t want to belong to you. Now that you’ve had me, you’re acting like some sort of caveman.”

“Can I drag you back to my cave and have my way with you again?”

“Absolutely not.” I say and he cocks his head to one side like a confused puppy.

“Fine.” I relent even though I have no idea why I’m agreeing to any of this.

I guess part of me wants to believe he and I have something special. I’ve gone on and on about my career and wanting to start a business, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want a husband and babies. Zach and I would make some spectacular babies, too.

“Sorry I was so late today.” He says and kisses my forehead after our second go around.

“I’m not.” I respond and run my hand over his chest. “Now, can we get some room service? I’ve worked up quite and appetite.”