Sinful (13 page)

E
VE WOKE THE
next morning to the sound of a landline ringing somewhere in the house and discovered that she was alone in bed. When she’d returned to her room last night, she’d changed out of her clothes and put on a knee-length, Swiss-dotted, baby-blue nightgown so she wouldn’t get caught half dressed if the kids wanted her help in the morning.

When she’d finally managed to doze off, she hadn’t slept well. Brooke’s elbows and knees stabbed her every time the little girl rolled over, and the kids had sprawled across so much of the bed, she’d spent the night clinging to the edge, hoping not to fall off. By the time dawn arrived, she was exhausted. She could hear the kids in the kitchen with Connor and blessed him for letting her sleep in.

She was in the middle of a lazy stretch, groaning with enjoyment as she extended her fingers wide, her hands high over her head and her toes arched toward the foot of the bed, when Connor appeared in the doorway, phone in hand.

“It’s for you.”

Eve felt self-conscious because, with mascara clumped on her eyelashes and her hair spiked every
whichaway, she looked like something the cat dragged in.

Connor must have just gotten out of the shower. A lock of damp hair fell over his scarred forehead, and he was freshly shaven. He was dressed in a short-sleeved black T-shirt that showed off his powerful biceps and jeans faded with age that lovingly cupped the proof of his sex, which happened to be at eye level.

She had a vivid recollection of what it felt like to have that warm, hard part of him nested against her own softness and felt her body quicken. Eve ran her hands through her tangled hair to keep from reaching out to touch. “Hardly anyone knows I’m here. Who is it?”

He handed her the phone. “I don’t know. Some woman asking for you.”

Eve tried to imagine who it could be, but came up blank. She started to slide out of bed and realized her nightgown had gaped open at the top. She grabbed at it and shook her head in chagrin as she met Connor’s gaze.

He grinned and waggled his eyebrows, acknowledging that he’d enjoyed the view.

Eve playfully swatted his arm as she took the phone from him. “This is Eve Grayhawk.”

She could feel Connor’s eyes on her as she listened and then replied to the speaker on the other end of the line. “Um, yes. I see. How soon? Yes. How long? Thank you. I’ll be in touch.”

She clicked off the phone and dropped it on the bed, too stunned for a moment to speak. She looked at him with amazement and said, “That was
National
Geographic
. They loved my photographs. They have another assignment for me.”

Connor’s smile was instant and infectious. He lifted her into his arms and swung her in a circle. “Congratulations! I told you your work was good.”

She was laughing by the time he set her down. “I still can’t believe this is happening. It’s a dream come true.” It just didn’t seem possible that she’d been offered something that she’d been working toward ever since she’d first picked up a camera at thirteen.

She’d told Mrs. Stack about the project she’d done for
National Geographic
as though she took photographs for the magazine all the time. In truth, it was her first job with them, and she’d been waiting on pins and needles to hear how much of her work they were actually going to use. Now she’d gotten this wonderful, life-altering call.

“I’ll be photographing mustangs in the wild,” she said, her voice filled with enthusiasm.

“Here in Wyoming?”

“In Nevada.”

After a long hesitation, Connor asked, “When?”

“Six weeks from now, in May.”

“For how long?”

“As long as it takes.” She couldn’t keep the smile of delight off her face. It wasn’t just taking photographs for one of the premier magazines in the world, it was photographing the wild mustangs she was so passionate about saving. Her evocative photos could move hearts and change minds. They could be the impetus to keep more mustangs in the wild.

“I’ll be following a herd of mustangs with several
pregnant mares until they give birth and then taking photographs of the foals as they grow.”

“So you’ll likely be gone for several weeks. Or maybe months.”

Eve nodded. She was still on cloud nine when Connor said, “How does that fit in with our plan to be married today?”

The smile disappeared from Eve’s face as though she’d clicked a camera shutter. It had never been necessary in the past to balance her life between the people she loved and the work she loved. She took a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t know.”

Connor’s expression was unreadable, but his hip was canted, and he’d stuck his hands into his back pockets. “I suppose there’s a big payday for this job,” he said. “Big enough to help you relocate your horses and afford a place to live.”

Eve crossed her arms protectively over her chest. “I guess, yes.” The amount she’d been offered for this single project was as much as she’d made in an entire year selling her photographs locally.

“If I’m not mistaken, once folks see your photographs—which I’m guessing will be spectacular—you’re going to be deluged with offers to take pictures all over the world.”

Eve felt flattered by Connor’s estimation of her work. She stayed silent because she was beginning to realize the full scope of the opportunities she was going to have—and how they might take her away from the man and the children she loved.

“You no longer need to marry me to have a home and save your mustangs,” he concluded.

Eve’s throat constricted at the thought of giving
up a life with Connor and Brooke and Sawyer. Surely she didn’t have to choose. Surely she could have both her work and a family to love. “Nothing’s changed, Connor.”

“Everything’s changed.” He looked at her with wounded eyes. “I’m not going to steal your dream from you, Eve. The deal was that I’d get something and you’d get something. That’s no longer true. Don’t worry about me and the kids. We’ll figure out some way to get along without you. I’m glad for you. I’m just sorry things turned out this way.”

He turned to leave, but she grabbed his arm to stop him. “Wait!” Why did he have to be so noble? Didn’t he want to marry her? Was she really so easy to dismiss from his life?

Eve could feel something important, something vital to her happiness, slipping away. “I don’t have to leave for six weeks. I can still help you get through this adjustment period with Brooke and Sawyer.”

He whirled to face her, and her hand fell away. “Then what? The whole point of getting married—and staying married—was to give the kids two parents they can count on.”

“I love them. I don’t want to leave them.” Eve saw Connor flinch and realized what she hadn’t said. That she loved
him
. That she didn’t want to leave
him
. But it was too soon to exchange words like those, even though she yearned to say them.

“Getting married to me is only going to tie you down and hold you back,” he said. “Why would you want to do it?”

Because I love you. Because I’ve always wanted to be your wife
. “You seem to think a home for myself
and my mustangs is all I’d be getting out of marriage to you. I love those children,” she said fiercely. “I want to be their mother.”
And I want a life with you
. “Lots of women balance careers and families. At least let me try!”

“What are the kids supposed to do when you take off? They’ve already lost their mother. They’ll be devastated if they lose you, too.”

“They won’t be losing me. I can talk with them on the phone. I can Skype. They’ll know I’m still there for them, and that I’ll be coming back.”

“If you do a good job—and I have no doubt you will—won’t this just be the first of many assignments that take you away from home? What about having more kids? Can you have babies and take on more projects like this?”

He was asking good questions, none of which she’d had time to consider. “I don’t have all the answers, Connor. I just got the offer a few minutes ago. I haven’t even agreed to take the job.”

“Why not?”

“They gave me time to consider whether I wanted the work. I’m supposed to get back to them.”

“When?”

“I need to give them a month’s notice, so two weeks from now.”

He rubbed a hand across his nape. “I want you to have the life you’ve always dreamed of having. I don’t want you giving that up to help me out.”

If only she could tell him the truth. If only she could say, You’re
the dream I’ve had all my life
. You’re
the dream I don’t want to lose
. She loved taking photographs, and she could never give up the
work that gave her life so much meaning, but she was more willing to compromise than Connor seemed to believe. “I’ll always want to take photographs, but I won’t always have to leave you and the kids to do it. Give me a chance. Give us a chance.”

“What are you saying?”

She met his gaze, her heart in her throat, and said, “I want to go through with the wedding.”

He didn’t respond for several long moments. “All right,” he said at last, his voice rough with emotion. “Let’s go get married.”

C
ONNOR STOOD BESIDE
Eve, listening to the magistrate read the words that made them husband and wife, wondering if he was making a mistake marrying a woman who loved his kids—but not him. He hadn’t realized until it seemed he might lose Eve just how much he wanted to be married to her.

It was the vow to try and be a better husband that had caused him to share his feelings of guilt and shame for Paddy’s death with Eve. He hadn’t realized how good it would feel to have her absolve and defend him or how moved he would be when she shared an important turning point in her life.

He felt a tug on his jeans and looked down into his son’s cherubic face. “Pick me up, Daddy.”

He picked up his son and held him close. He knew how precious and fleeting these moments with his children were. Molly’s death had proved there were no promises in life. He had to reach for happiness if he hoped to have any chance of achieving it. Which meant marrying a woman he’d loved most of his life, even though she didn’t love him. He fought the ache in his throat so he’d be able to speak when the time came.

Eve smiled at him as he settled Sawyer against his waist.

Brooke stood between them, a bright blue ribbon tied around her ponytail and a small bouquet of wildflowers in her hands. She was listening carefully to everything the magistrate said.

Brooke looked up at Eve when she said, “I will,” and then up at him when he said, “I will.”

The magistrate said, “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” He grinned. “I have to say I’m surprised to see you two here under these circumstances.” Both Connor and Eve had appeared before the magistrate more than once as teenagers to atone for mischief they’d caused.

Eve shot Connor an embarrassed look, and Connor grinned and shrugged back.

The balding man, who sported an impressive handlebar mustache, continued, “Never thought I’d see the day when I’d marry one of you wild Flynn boys to one of King’s Brats. My best wishes to you both.”

He shook hands with Connor, then with Eve, and when Brooke lifted her hand, he shook hands with the little girl, and finally, of course, with Sawyer, who didn’t want to be left out.

“Where are you folks headed now?” the magistrate asked.

“Back home,” Connor said.

“To the Lucky 7?” the magistrate asked. “Or to Kingdom Come?”

“To my ranch,” Connor said. “Safe Haven.”

“It seems a shame not to celebrate in town first,” the magistrate said. “Or maybe with your families?” He looked from Connor to Eve and back again.

With no one from either of their families present at the simple ceremony, the magistrate was obviously fishing for information about whether either of their fathers knew what they’d just done. Connor wasn’t about to satisfy the old man’s curiosity, not after all the times the magistrate had ordered him to perform a hundred hours of community service.

The truth was they hadn’t told either parent they were getting married today. After their visits yesterday, Angus and King knew their children intended to wed. He and Eve had thought it better to present their fathers with a fait accompli.

“Oh, I nearly forgot,” the magistrate said with an impish grin. “You may kiss your bride.”

Connor was caught off guard. He set Sawyer down, then turned to Eve, who looked vulnerable and afraid. As he leaned forward, her eyes slid closed. He hesitated a breath away from her lips, his heart full of emotion.

“Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!”

Connor was startled into lifting his head. He stared at his daughter, who was laughing and clapping her hands. The chant was something Brooke used to do when he’d teased Molly before kissing her. The shocking reminder of his first wife at his second wedding was like a punch in the gut.

Sawyer picked up Brooke’s chant, which had gotten louder, and Connor realized that the only way to get them to stop was to kiss his bride.

He took his time. He owed Eve that.

He captured her face between his hands, feeling the warm flush in her cheeks with his fingertips. He somehow knew it was bashfulness rather than reluctance
that made his new wife lower her gaze. He pressed his lips against Eve’s and felt them trembling. He slid one hand around her nape, holding her captive as he deepened the kiss. She leaned into him, surrending to his desire, and he suddenly envisioned a world of possibilities in their life together.

He felt a sharp jerk on his jeans, followed by Sawyer’s demand, “Time for pizza, Daddy.” Connor broke the kiss reluctantly and searched Eve’s face to see how she was faring after this strange wedding. He felt his heart jump when he saw a look that felt like love in her eyes. It was gone an instant later, and he wondered if he’d imagined it.

“Daddy!” Sawyer said insistently. “Pizza!”

Eve looked away first. She dropped to one knee, gave Sawyer a hug, and laughed as she yelled, “Pizza!”

Sawyer chortled and hugged her around the neck as she picked him up.

It had been Eve’s idea to bribe Sawyer by promising him that if he was quiet during the brief ceremony he’d be rewarded with pepperoni pizza, which would serve as their wedding dinner.

Connor thought back to his first wedding, from the elaborate floral decorations in the church, to Molly’s exquisite white dress and veil and her cascading bouquet of lilies, to the lengthy Catholic wedding ceremony, and finally to the outdoor barbecue and dance for five hundred guests.

If he didn’t have the marriage license tucked in his pocket, Connor could almost believe they’d appeared before the magistrate this afternoon for stealing antlers from one of the arches that decorated the four corners of the town square.

He was wearing jeans, a white western shirt, and cowboy boots. So was Eve. Brooke was holding the only flowers in the room, which they’d picked from around the porch this morning before they’d gotten into his pickup to drive to town. They’d exchanged no rings. Two children dressed in play clothes had been their only attendants as they said their vows, and they were about to eat pizza as a wedding supper.

What was wrong with this picture?

Connor studied Eve looking for signs of dissatisfaction. She was smiling, her eyes crinkled at the corners, as she ushered the kids out of the magistrate’s office. He couldn’t imagine any other woman he knew, certainly not Molly, agreeing to marry him without all the usual bells and whistles. And yet, Eve had. Didn’t all girls dream of their wedding day and imagine a thousand ways they could make it dazzling?

Five minutes later, as they settled at one of the tables at Mountain High Pizza Pie, the kids busy with coloring books that Eve had thoughtfully brought along, Connor leaned over and asked quietly, “Are you okay?”

She angled her head as though he’d asked a peculiar question. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You didn’t find that wedding…odd?”

“Different, certainly,” she agreed. “But I loved the simplicity of it. Didn’t you?”

“Of course. But I feel like you got cheated.”

She laughed. “Cheated of all those agonizing weeks of planning and all that last-minute panic worrying that everything wasn’t perfect? Thanks, but no thanks. I like the way we did it.”

“We don’t have a single picture of our wedding,” he said, appalled at the oversight.

“I have my cell phone with me. Want to come over here and take a selfie with me?” she said with a grin.

“You’re really okay with this, aren’t you?”

She nodded, and then sobered. “It would have felt strange if we’d had a fancy wedding. How could I top the beautiful wedding you and Molly had?”

It dawned on him that she’d been there as Molly’s maid of honor. Eve would have gone through all the angst of planning the thing with Molly in the three weeks between his proposal and his return to Afghanistan and been a part of all the frantic preparations for a last-minute barbecue for five hundred of their parents’ closest friends and acquaintances.

“This was nice.” She rubbed her bare ring finger and added, “I would like to have a ring, but there’s no rush.”

“What kind of ring do you want?”

“Something I can wear when I’m running around in the wilderness.”

“Taking pictures of mustangs?”

“That, too,” she said. “Do you want a new ring? Or do you want to keep that one?”

Connor realized he was still wearing his original wedding ring, a plain gold band he’d worn constantly since the day he was married and hadn’t taken off after Molly’s death. It was almost like another part of him. He brushed the underside of the band with his thumb, something he’d often done when he was away from home that made him feel closer to Molly. “Do you mind that I’m still wearing it?”

She laid her ringless left hand over his. “That ring has sentimental value for me, too. I was with Molly when she picked it out. I remember how happy and excited she was to be marrying you.” She glanced at Brooke and Sawyer. “Molly will always be a part of our lives. I think it’s wonderful that you don’t want to take it off.”

Connor made up his mind then and there to find the perfect ring for Eve and to put it on her hand so she was wearing it when she took off for Nevada. Maybe it would remind her that he was waiting for her to return.

The pizza was delicious, but it added to the surreal feeling of their bizarre wedding day. He was the one who’d set this strange day in motion with his suggestion of a “marriage of convenience.” He hadn’t realized it would also result in such a “convenient marriage.”

Connor could see nothing in Eve’s demeanor that suggested she had any regrets, but he couldn’t help wondering if she would be sorry later that they hadn’t made their wedding more special. He smiled to himself. It had been a memorable day, if for no other reason than the fact that they’d skipped all the traditional ways to celebrate. He wondered if they were going to forgo the wedding night, too.

He eyed Eve and realized he didn’t want to do that. He wanted to make love to his wife. Last night had only given him a taste of what was in store. He didn’t want to fall any deeper in love with her when they didn’t know whether they had a future together. But he couldn’t help hoping that Eve would be willing
to make their wedding night an occasion worth remembering.

Out of the blue, Brooke asked Eve, “Are you my mother now, Aunt Eve?”

Eve shot him a startled look before answering, “Do you want me to be your mother?”

Brooke pulled a slice of pepperoni off her pizza, popped it into her mouth, and began chewing as she answered, “I guess so.”

“Then the first thing I have to say to you, young lady, is chew with your mouth closed!”

Brooke’s mouth dropped open in surprise and then snapped shut as she chewed vigorously, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks puffed out by her smile. After she’d swallowed, she said, “Mommy used to say that all the time.”

Eve brushed Brooke’s bangs off her forehead in what Connor realized was a caress. “I know, sweetheart. Your mom was very nice and very wise. I hope I can be even half as good a mother to you as she was.”

“Are you gonna be my mommy, too?” Sawyer asked.

“You bet,” Eve said, shoving the wayward lock of hair off his forehead with another fond caress.

“Now do Daddy’s hair,” Brooke said.

Eve stared at the little girl in disbelief, then glanced at Connor.

“Go ahead,” he said with a grin.

She reached out tentatively, and he felt the soft brush of her fingertips across the scar on his forehead.

“Now you do Aunt Eve,” Brooke said to him.

Eve’s bangs were long, so he settled for tucking
them behind one ear, feeling her shiver slightly before he removed his hand. When he looked into her eyes, he saw that her pupils were dilated and her skin was flushed.

Connor felt his heart knocking against his ribs. The sooner he got the kids home and tucked into bed, the sooner he could begin the seduction of his bride. He jumped up from the table and announced, “Time to go home.”

“You said we could go to the movies,” Brooke reminded him.

“When did I say that?”

“You said if I was good—”

“I remember now.” Sawyer’s bribe was pizza. Brooke had insisted on the latest cartoon movie. “All right. Let’s go.” It was the sing-along version, where the audience joined the on-screen characters in belting out the songs. Connor had pretty much learned the words to the theme song, since Brooke sang it endlessly.

He met Eve’s gaze over Brooke’s and Sawyer’s heads, wondering if she felt any of the growing anticipation he felt as their wedding day wore on. He wondered if she was also looking forward to the moment when the children were asleep and they would finally be alone together as husband and wife. Their wedding day might be spent in ordinary ways, he thought, but there was no reason they couldn’t have an extraordinary wedding night.