Sinful (17 page)

“Tag!” Brooke said triumphantly as she touched his arm. “You’re it.”

Connor set Sawyer on his feet, then held out his
curved hands like some clawed monster and said, “Watch out, everybody. Here I come!”

Brooke and Sawyer turned, laughing and shrieking, and ran full tilt in opposite directions.

Eve figured Connor would chase after the kids, making sure he didn’t catch them too soon. To her astonishment, he headed straight for her.

Eve turned and bolted, laughing and shrieking as loudly as the kids, zigzagging to keep from getting caught.

But catch her he did. By then, they’d reached the tree line on the opposite side of the meadow from the kids. “Tag!” he shouted. “You’re it.”

But instead of merely touching her arm, he pressed her back against the closest pine so they were aligned, body to body. Her heart was pounding from all the running and she was laughing, having enjoyed the game. Hidden from the children, his hands came up to caress her breasts. Eve trembled with excitement, her body instantly aroused and ready.

“What are you doing?” she asked breathlessly. “The kids—”

“Will be here any second. Until then, I want to touch you.”

Eve could feel the hard length of him between her thighs. His hot breath fanned her cheek, and she angled her head so their lips could meet.

He claimed her mouth as though he might never have another chance, the kiss almost savage, then let her go abruptly and stepped back.

He met her gaze, his eyes clouded with pain, then turned his face sharply away.

“Are you all right?” she asked. “Is something wrong?”

She heard him swallow hard before he said, “Nothing’s wrong. I just wish…”

Eve finished the sentence for herself.
Molly were here
. Jealousy ran through her veins like molten lava.
Molly’s dead. It’s my turn!

Eve’s whole body flamed with red-hot rage. She’d always been jealous of Molly, but she’d kept that jealousy under tight control. Now, when it seemed Connor might be hers at last, it seemed her best friend was still holding the man Eve loved in thrall. She struggled, without success, to control the green-eyed monster that had reared its ugly head. She felt her hands curl into fighting claws. But how did you fight a ghost?

When is it my turn, Molly? Let him go, so he can love me
.

“Wish what, Connor?” she said, her throat so swollen with emotion that she thought she might choke. “That Molly were here instead of me?”

He shook his head as he whirled to face her, his blue eyes dark and bleak. “No! I wish Molly and I had spent more time doing things like this together when she was alive.” He grimaced. “But she wasn’t big on picnics. And I wasn’t around to go on one anyway. The truth is, I’d never have played tag with the kids if it weren’t for you.”

Eve was thrown for a loop. Connor wasn’t wishing for Molly? Connor was giving her credit for making the day special?

He took a step to close the distance between them and drew her into his embrace again. Eve felt the
adrenaline draining from her body, leaving her totally enervated. She put her arms around Connor’s neck and clung to him to keep from falling down.

“I’m glad you’re a part of our lives,” he whispered in her ear.

“Me, too,” Eve said.

A moment later he separated them again, setting her a short distance away. “Before those two imps show up I have something to give you.”

He reached into his jeans pocket and came out with a ring. “I searched every store in town yesterday while you were shopping for groceries and found this.”

Eve stared at the simple gold band with a tiny diamond leaf embedded in it. She felt the tears coming and couldn’t keep them from falling. “Oh, Connor.”

“Don’t cry,” he said, with a lopsided smile. “Give me your hand.”

Both hands were covering her mouth as she tried to keep from sobbing, but she let him have the left one, which shook as he slipped the ring on her finger.

“It’s beautiful.”

“So are you,” he said.

“Hey!” Brooke said, arriving breathlessly at Eve’s side. “Are we gonna play some more?”

“I think you and Sawyer need to rest for a little while,” Connor said.

“I’m not tired!” Brooke protested.

“Five minutes,” Connor said.

He took Eve’s hand, the one with the wedding band on it, as Brooke reached for Eve’s other hand, and the three of them headed back toward where
they’d left the horses. They met Sawyer on the way, and Connor picked up the exhausted toddler and carried him back to the blanket, where he set him down beside Brooke.

“Close your eyes, and I’ll tell you a story,” Eve said, as she dropped onto the blanket beside the children.

“This I’ve got to hear,” Connor said as he settled across from her.

“Once upon a time,” Eve began, “there was a beautiful princess.” Before long, both children were sound asleep.

“Good story,” Connor said.

Eve stretched her legs out so she could lie on her side.

“Would you like me to tell you how it ends?” she asked coyly.

Connor chuckled. “I think I know how it ends.” He lay down facing her, his head supported on his hand. “The jealous witch—”

Eve sat up abruptly. That word,
jealous
, brought back all those ugly feelings she’d experienced, and which she never wanted to experience again. “I have something I need to say.”

Connor sat up across from her, a concerned look on his face.

Eve had no idea where to start, so she simply dove in. “I’m jealous of Molly.”

Connor looked confused. “What?”

“I know it’s silly. I know she’s gone. But I used to have a crush on you in high school, and I guess I never got over losing you to my best friend.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but she kept on
talking, certain that if she stopped, she’d never get started again.

“I know you miss Molly. I miss her too. But I can’t help wanting you to want me instead of her. So when you start a sentence with ‘I wish Molly’ it makes me a little crazy.” She swallowed over the knot in her throat and added, “Jealous, I mean.”

Eve fought to lift her eyes to meet Connor’s gaze, afraid of the censure she might find there, but needing to know his reaction to what she’d just admitted.

His blue eyes were narrowed. Not a good sign. “You had a crush on me in high school?”

Eve couldn’t speak, so she nodded.

“And you still set me up to go with Molly to that dance?”

Eve nodded again. She felt sick to her stomach. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea.

“I liked you, too, Eve. A lot.”

Eve gaped. “You did?”

Connor rubbed a hand across his nape and shook his head. “What a clusterfuck.”

Eve was shocked at the word he’d chosen to describe their crossed wires in high school. “Why didn’t you say something to me?” she asked.

“It wasn’t possible. Not with the way our families hated each other.”

“They still hate each other. How is the situation different now?”

“I was a boy then. I didn’t know any better.”

And he was a man now, willing to defy his father and his family to marry her, Eve suddenly realized.

She knew her feelings hadn’t changed, but what about his? She’d admitted to a crush. He’d admitted
to liking her. A lot. But liking was a long way from loving. Had his feelings ever run deeper? Perhaps not, Eve realized. After all, he’d been a grown man when he’d married Molly, and he’d chosen her best friend over her.

“You don’t need to be jealous of Molly,” Connor said. “I loved her. I won’t ever forget her. I won’t ever let the children forget her. But there’s certainly a place in my life for another woman. For you.”

Eve noticed he’d said “my life” and not “my heart.” Could he fall in love again? Eve took comfort from the fact that he’d married her in defiance of both their families.

She rubbed the gold ring on her finger with her thumb. She wanted to ask if he still had feelings for her. Wanted to admit that she’d always loved him. But she’d come as far as she dared. It would be awkward to admit to feelings Connor didn’t share. So she remained silent.

Brooke rubbed her eyes and sat up. “Can we play tag again?”

“Not today,” Connor said. “We have to get started home.” He looked at Eve as he said, “But we’ll do this again. Soon.” He grinned and added, “There are a few games your mom and I didn’t get a chance to play.”

Eve blushed. And laughed. And then realized what Connor had said.
Your mom
. Her heart felt full. This was where she belonged. This was what she wanted to be doing with her life. She didn’t want to leave Connor or the children to go take pictures in another state, not so soon and not for so long. There
had to be a way to take pictures for
National Geographic
and be a wife and mother, too.

Then, like a flashbulb going off, it dawned on her that she had a herd of mustangs that included two pregnant mares. And a young colt. And five rambunctious yearlings.

On the other hand, she had no mustang stallion. And technically, her herd was no longer running wild.

Would
National Geographic
be willing to compromise? The only way to find out was to ask.

D
URING THE RIDE
home from the meadow, Eve kept the children engaged in conversation, giving Connor time to think. What he thought about was Eve.

Until Eve’s confession, Connor hadn’t been willing to admit that what he felt for her, what he’d always felt for her, was more than lust. It was a yearning for what might have been if he’d pursued Eve instead of Molly. If he’d married Eve instead of Molly. When he’d walked away from Eve, who was still holding the strawberry ice cream cone he’d bought for her, he’d known he was leaving something precious behind.

Those thoughts felt disrespectful to his late wife, and he was having trouble dealing with them. But last night, when he’d made love to Eve, it had felt as though a dark, yawning space inside him was filled with light…and with love.

He wondered how he’d gotten so lucky. What were the chances that a woman like Eve Grayhawk, with more attributes than he could name in a single breath, would still be single at twenty-six when her best friend had married at eighteen? And not just single, but single without a steady boyfriend. Had she
been too committed to her career to marry? Or simply not found a man she loved enough to marry? But if Eve had stayed single for either of those reasons, why had she so readily married him?

Connor thought of his own teenage feelings, which had continued into adulthood, and wondered if Eve’s “crush” might have survived as well. Had they each been harboring feelings for the other all these years? Was it possible that she hadn’t married another man because she was in love with
him
?

If he allowed himself to believe that bit of fantasy, Connor was left with the intriguing possibility that Eve had loved him while he was married to her best friend. He would never ask her for the truth of his supposition, but if he was right, she’d managed to keep her feelings completely hidden, both from him and, as far as he knew, from Molly. He watched her chatter with the children and wondered what it must have been like for her, knowing her feelings would never be returned. No wonder she’d confessed to being jealous when he’d mentioned Molly’s name.

So where did he go from here?

The answer was simple.
Love Eve and hope she loves me back
. He might be asking for heartbreak, but he thought the risk was worth it. He had six weeks before she had to leave for Nevada. Six weeks to make sure that she loved him enough to come back home, no matter how many times she had to leave again to do her amazing work.

They were unsaddling their horses when Frank came trotting up to the corral. “You’ve got a call at the house, Connor. It’s your dad. I told him you’d call
him back, but he said it was important and he’d wait.”

Connor felt his gut clench. He’d told Eve his father didn’t run his life. But it was still possible for Angus to
ruin
it. “Thanks, Frank.”

Connor hadn’t taken two steps toward the house when he realized Eve was beside him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Coming with you.”

“The kids—”

“Are helping brush down the horses.”

“I don’t need your help handling my father.”

“Too bad. I’m part of this family.”

“For now, anyway,” he muttered. He was dying for a good, knock-down, drag-out fight. Determined to start one. Pushing as hard as he could to send Eve over the edge. Into his arms? Away from him for good? He just wanted everything settled, once and for all.

“Six weeks,” she said through gritted teeth. “Then I’m gone, and you can have your life back just the way you want it.”

“You think this is what I want?” he snarled, turning on her. “My kids lost their mom. I lost my wife. I married a woman who lights my fire like no other woman I’ve ever known—including my late wife—and she has plans of her own that don’t include me or my kids. That is
not
the life I planned for myself. That is
not
what I want!”

He stalked away, leaving her standing with her jaw agape, mad at himself for having revealed so much. He yanked open the back door and stomped his way to the phone in the kitchen. He picked it up
and said, “You don’t run my life. Take your money and stuff it where the sun don’t shine.” Then he slammed the phone back in the cradle.

A moment later Eve reached his side, breathless from running to catch up, her voice strident. “You’re not the only one who had a different life planned. This isn’t what I wanted, either. I miss my best friend. I wish she was here. I wish there was more than just this physical…thing…between us. I wish—”

That was as far as she got before Connor’s arms locked around her. It took him a moment to realize she was fighting him. He let her go and stared down at her, his body so hard it hurt.

Her chin was quivering, and her eyes looked wounded. “This isn’t going to make things better.”

“Can’t make them any worse,” he quipped.

“Please don’t.”

A painful knot formed in his throat. He met her gaze and nodded his capitulation, because it was impossible to speak.

“You need to go see your father,” she said. “You can’t blow him off like that.”

“Too late. Angus Flynn doesn’t forgive or forget.”

“We’ll go see him together.”

“Bad idea.”

“We have to do something. We can’t leave things the way they are.”

“Why not?”

“Why not annul the marriage? I have to leave anyway.”

“I refuse to give him the satisfaction.”

“Connor, be reasonable. Why don’t we just admit
that this isn’t going to work, and go our separate ways?”

“Because I don’t want to end this marriage.”

“Why not?”

Because I have feelings for you
. “Because I hate giving up. On anything.”

“We’re running out of time,” she reminded him.

“Trust me. I’ll work it out.” He’d plan some kind of fund-raiser, or get a loan and use the ranch as security, or borrow money until he could make the ranch self-sufficient.

“If you don’t go talk to him, I will,” Eve threatened.

“If you care at all for me, you won’t do that.”

She looked chastened. “All right. But I think you’re making a mistake.”

“It’s my mistake. I’ll deal with it.” And he would. He just had to figure out how.