Shhh... Gianna's Side (25 page)

“How did you get inside, little girl? Huh? Did daddy forget to lock the door?” She giggled and I heard her little footsteps run through the house to what I imagined was her bedroom.

The house phone rang. “Hello,” she said. “Yeah, I’m home… Okay…yeah, I’m waiting. I’ll see you soon.”

Home…she said.

I heard the garage open minutes later and I snuck as far back into the closet as I could go. I covered myself with the hanging clothes and boxes. I hoped no one could see me if they opened the door. I tried as best as I could to labor my breathing, but my heart was beating out of its stomach. I swear they could hear it.

“Hey, baby,” he said
, and the term of endearment broke me a little bit more.

“Hey, babe. It’s nice to be home. I can’t believe how long this has been going on. I miss you. I miss us.”

“I know. I miss you, too. We’re a family and we need to work this out. I don’t want to be a part time dad, I can’t handle it,” he stated.

I couldn’t believe the words I heard coming out of his mouth. Everything was a lie. Every last thing he told
me. Every touch, every caress, every sonnet, and every I love you. All of it was one big lie.

“You think we can fix this, James?”

“I know we can. Where is Cara?”

“She’s down for her nap, she was thrilled to be back in her room.”

The next minutes of my life went in slow motion; I heard him kiss her, I heard him touch her, and I heard him bring her to orgasm right on the very door in front of me. They eventually made their way to their bedroom, the room we had made love in countless times. How could he do this to me?

I quietly left the closet and stood in the hallway
, contemplating going in there and confronting him. But what would it matter? I had already lost everything that meant anything to me. I was truly alone and confronting him wouldn’t change that.

I hated him.

My legs moved on their own accord as I walked to their bedroom door. I heard the moaning and movement, I wondered if he was touching her like he touched me. If he whispered that he loved her. Did he think of me as he thrust in and out of her? Was I even on his mind? I believed everything that he said to me, every last word. He played me just like I played everyone. Was this my punishment?

Tears fell down my face as I pictured them naked together. I touched my stomach
, wanting to feel a part of him. But I didn’t feel anything because I had killed it just like he had killed me. I was part of one big lie. I stood there and heard him bring her to ecstasy as our baby bled out from me. I started to feel the cramping of our child dying as he moaned, “I love you,” to someone who wasn’t me. I couldn’t take it anymore and tiptoed back out the front door, and then walked in random circles around the neighborhood while waiting for my cab. I had never felt so empty and hollow. I had my whole life ahead of me, a bright, beautiful future, exactly how everyone described it to me. But the underlying secrets were always my companion, sitting right next to me as I brought total emotional devastation upon myself.

When I made it into my room that night
, I went straight into the shower. As I watched the blood slide down the drain, I reached below, grabbing some blood on my fingers. I brought it up to my mouth and I kissed it.

I kissed goodbye our love.

I kissed goodbye James.

I kissed goodbye our baby.

I kissed goodbye my future and everything I believed in. 

He sat there on the edge of the bed with his head in his lap as tears streamed down his face. I couldn’t help but feel satisfaction; he needed to know what I went through
. I was done lying, it ended that day. We were all going to walk out with the truth if it was the last thing we did.

“Jesus Christ, I had no fucking idea,” he
bellowed, not looking at me. “I was never with those other girls and those text messages were fake. She must have grabbed my phone. All those pictures, everything she told you was a lie, G. It was all a fucking lie,” he roared.

He stood up and was over to me in four strides
, grabbing me by my arms and lightly shaking me. “You have to believe me! She lied to you. You have to believe me!” he repeated over and over again.

“I know,” I concluded.

And it threw me right back into that night
.

“Do you think he loves her?” I questioned, never taking my eyes away from their interlocked hands. He was carrying his daughter; they looked every bit the happy
, loving family. I envied her. But most of all, I hated him.

“What the hell are you talking about? Of course he loves his wife. I mean
, look at them, they look like a Brady Bunch episode,” she said, pointing to them.

“Where is she going?”

“Looks like she’s going with her parents or his. They kissed goodbye so obviously they’re going their separate ways. Stop hogging the bottle, give me some.” She took it out of my hands and chugged some down.

“Let’s follow him, Mack. Let’s try to talk to him. Reason with him. He has to understand. We can’t
lose everything we have worked so hard for, we can’t let him win.”

“Gia, as much as I want to do that
, I don’t think it’s a good idea. We could get in a lot of trouble,” she rationalized.

I turned to look at her
. “More than we are already in?” she shrugged.

I put the car in drive and tried to look like I was tailing him. It didn’t matter, I already knew where he lived, but I couldn’t let Mack know that. We followed him all the way back to his house and I parked my car behind the bush of his house.

“Come on.” I said getting out of the car. “Bring the bottle.”

She sighed but followed me to the front door.

I knocked on the door and grabbed the bottle out of Mack’s hands, bringing it up to my mouth and taking down huge gulps. I needed to be G now, I needed to be her and only her. It took him exactly forty seconds to come to the door; his face said it all when he answered.

“What are you doing here?” he asked
, confused.

“That’s not very nice, Mr. Nichols. Aren’t
you going to invite us in?” He took the bottle out of my hand.

“Get inside before my neighbors see you,” he beckoned us inside and the house looked completely different. Scattered toys were everywhere and new portraits of them were hanging on the walls. I wanted to throw up and scream all at the same time
, and it only fueled my hatred for him.

“Mr. Nichols
, we came here to plead with you to help us. You know Gia can’t lose her scholarship. Please, is there anything you can do?” Mack requested.

He shook his
head, not looking at me. “You know I can’t do that. You girls blatantly cheated.”

I laughed
. “Oh come on…haven’t you ever cheated before? I mean done something you weren’t supposed to? I know you have…I can smell it on you,” I mocked.

“Gianna…” Mack whispered, trying to get me to calm down. I just ignored her.

“What’s wrong, Mr. Nichols? Did I hit a nerve?”

He narrowed his eyes at me
. “How much have you been drinking?”

“Enough to make me forget. Don’t you want to be bad? It’s so much fun, why don’t you let me show you.”

“Gia, what the fuck? I’m sorry, Mr. Nichols, I don’t know what’s gotten into her. Yes we have been drinking. We shouldn’t have come.” She grabbed my elbow and jerked me toward the door, I didn’t want to leave, I wasn’t done with him yet. She opened it and he shut it fast, as if reading my mind.

“You’re not going anywhere. You’re sobering up and then you can leave. Go sit on the couch and stay out of trouble while I make you some coffee,” he ordered in the same tone my father used with me. The exact same tone I heard him use with Mack, it made my skin crawl just thinking about it. I moved myself away from her
, I had to. Just the thought of my father and her together made me want to hurt her. I sat on the opposite end of the couch. I didn’t want to drink coffee, I wanted to keep drinking and it pissed me off that he took it away from me. He kept taking everything from me.

“Hey, Mr. Nichols, can we take a shower
, too,” I stood and provocatively walked closer to him while unbuttoning my shirt, his eyes followed my hands all the way from behind the counter in the kitchen.

“I mean
, since you’re being so hospitable and all,” I teased as I took off my shirt and threw it on the floor.

“Miss Edwards
, put your clothes back on.”

“I like it so much more when you call me G.” I pouted. I didn’t have to look over at Mack to know she looked at me like I had lost my damn mind.

“Put your shirt back on,” he demanded in a stern voice.

I laughed, “Anything you say, Mr. Nichols.
You need to loosen up a little bit. Maybe you should take a drink, or better yet, give me back the bottle and I’ll do it for you.”

“Jesus, Gia, are you out of your mind?” Mack observed. I could feel her trepidation.

This scared her? Why didn’t fucking my father scare her? It took everything in me not to turn around and unleash on her. She was a fraud just like Mr. Nichols, just like everyone in my life, including me. All of us hiding behind secrets and lies, betraying each other every fucking day; it made me sick.

“Mack, stop being a pussy!” I shouted, looking right at her. Her face showed concern but not remorse, never remorse. Was she using me all these years just to get close to my dad?

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of my dad touching her; I could still hear him bring her to orgasm. I could still hear the way she told him she loved him. My poor mom…how could she do this to me? I was supposed to be her sister!

I turned and took my anger out on him instead. I fucking hated both of them.

“He’s already failed me and ruined our lives. You should be angry with him, not me. He’s the one that has stopped all our dreams and plans, come on, Mack, tell him how fucking angry you are! Tell him how much of a son of a bitch he is! How much we hate him!” I shouted looking straight at him.

His face didn’t reveal a fucking thing, not one goddamn emotion and it further pissed me off. I wanted something, anything to make me feel like he cared about me, like my words were having some
effect on him.

“Miss Edwards, you need to calm down.”

“Fuck you, James. Stop fucking calling me that!” I shouted and Mack gasped, bringing my attention back to her. “I’ll calm down when you help us. I’ll calm down when you do something. I’ll calm down when you show me anything other than nothing! That’s when I’ll calm the fuck down!” I screamed as Mack’s eyes widened in shock.

He walked from the kitchen to Mack and gave her coffee and then came to stand right in front of me.

“I will not allow you to disrespect me in my own home, Gianna. I am your teacher and you are my student. Sit down and drink your coffee,” he scolded, handing it to me.

I grabbed it and took one look at it before throwing it across the room
, shattering it against the door.

“Make me,” I provoked.

He grabbed me by my arm and I tried to get out of his grip, but it made him grab me tighter. I pushed him in the chest and he grabbed my other arm, dragging me to the couch. I screamed and tried to shove him away.

“You need to calm down. You’re acting like a child.”

“That’s all I am to you, isn’t it? Just a fucking child! I hate you. You ruined me. You ruined everything. I fucking hate you!” I kicked him in the shin and that’s when all hell broke loose. He tightened his grip and I brought his arm up to my mouth and bit it. I latched on until I tasted blood; once the metallic taste was in my mouth I bit down harder. He yelled and shoved me on the couch, my back bounced off from the impact. I seethed and went right after him, pushing, kicking, and hitting anywhere and everywhere. And then I went after anything I could see. I threw the portraits off the wall; I pushed the lamps over, and threw every ornament that was breakable in my vision. Mack came up from behind me and tried to grab me.

“Oh my God, Gianna! Calm down. Everything will be all right. We will make it work, I promise. We will make it work,” she begged.

I calmed down enough to make her let go of me, and that’s when I went after him again. I punched him in the face and tried to kick him in the balls, but he blocked me.

“I hate you! I hate you so fucking much. You’ll pay! I promise you, you will pay!” I threatened and grabbed Mack’s arm
, and then we got the hell out of there.

We went to the nearest bar and found the guy who took us in his limo. I wanted to hurt Mack but I also wanted to take any scent of him off of me that still lingered. I wanted to fuck him out of my system.

I enjoyed every second of it, and when we made our way to my car, I could tell she was upset, devastated even. I took the long way home through a dark and abandoned road, wanting to have Mack wallow in her misery of what had just happened. I relished in that feeling and I didn’t see the car coming up behind us. I swerved at the last minute as it hit me on my side, making me do a one-eighty on the dirt road. Our heads hit the door windows and I saw stars through my fluttered eyes.

“Mack? Mack, are you okay?”

She touched her forehead. “Yeah…”she replied, immediately opening her door and stepping out. “What the fuck is your problem! You could have killed us,” she screamed.

It was then that I noticed the white truck and it all happened so fast, like a domino effect. I saw someone dressed in a black hoodie come out of the truck at rapid speed, it was so dark that I couldn’t see
the face. My headlights were off and only the truck’s were on, facing the other way. The driver was in front of Mack in three seconds flat and that’s when I noticed the bat, swinging and knocking Mack out. Her body fell to the ground with a thud and I lunged over through the passenger side and fell face first next to her.

I immediately checked her pulse
. “Oh my God! Mack! Wake up, please wake up! Please!” I screamed to no avail.

She had a pulse but her head had a nasty gash
, and when I reached for my phone in my back pocket to call 9-1-1, the phone was backhanded out of my hand, knocking it away.

I looked up and saw her face.

Sarah.

James wife.

“What the fuck! What did you do? What are you doing?” I shouted.

She closed her fist and punched me straight on
the cheekbone; I fell to the ground, immediately dizzy and disoriented, clutching the side of my face.

“Get the fuck up!” she roared.

My head was spinning and felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. She sat on top of me and started pounding on my face and body. I tried to cover myself as best as I could, but I was too disorientated from the crash and her hitting me. She beat me like she was a two hundred pound man. I could feel my body go into shock and that’s when she stopped hitting, but not before spitting in my face.

“You stupid cunt! You fucking ruined everything. He was never going to leave me until he met you. He was happy with me! We were fucking happy. How can you live with yourself? How can you break up a family!” she seethed.

I rolled over, spitting blood and curling into a fetal position.

“Get the fuck up or I swear I’ll kill you. Better yet
, I’ll kill her.”

I watched through bruised eyes
, trying to keep them open but they were swelling fast. She raised the bat right above Mack’s head. “You have five seconds. Five, four, three, two, on–”

“STOP!” I screamed
, finding strength to stand on one leg and then the other. I immediately slouched forward, spitting out more blood, and limped to the side of the car door to hold myself up.