Shelter for Elizabeth (Badge of Honor: Texas Heroes Book 5) (17 page)

B
eth picked
at the food on her tray in the small common area of the treatment facility. The fare was surprisingly good, but she didn’t have an appetite. She was nervous and excited at the same time. The last time she’d seen Cade—it was hard to believe it was over a month ago—they’d both said some not-so-nice things, but she hadn’t realized how much she would miss him until she’d been away from him. Texting was nice, but it wasn’t the same as feeling his hand holding hers, keeping the world at bay.

Over the years since she’d been kidnapped, the computer had become her friend. It was reliable and did what she told it to do. She’d met hundreds of people online and would even call some of them friends…but she hadn’t realized how lonely she was until Penelope and Cade came into her life.

It was one thing to see words on a screen and “hear” them in your head, but it was another altogether to feel the warm skin of someone else against yours. To hear them laugh, to watch them be worried for you.

Beth knew she’d never lose her love of computers, but she couldn’t wait to see Cade again.

Dr. Neal stuck her head into the room and called out quietly, “Beth, you have a visitor.”

Beth took a deep breath and nodded at the doctor. She picked up her tray and brought it to the corner, where she handed it to one of the ladies who worked in the kitchen, then shored up her courage and headed out of the room to see Cade.

Entering the visitor’s room Dr. Neal had pointed to, Beth wasn’t sure what to expect, but she shouldn’t have worried.

As soon as she walked in, she was in Cade’s embrace. He hauled her to him, wrapped both arms around her, and simply held her. They didn’t have to say anything, and somehow Beth knew Cade felt the same sense of peace she did at finally being together again.

Finally, Cade pulled back and Beth looked into his eyes.

“I missed you,” he murmured in the low, rumbly voice she loved so much.

“I’m sorry I—”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m just so glad you’re all right. Everything else can be worked out.”

Wow, Beth hadn’t been expecting that. Some sort of reprimand or something, but not immediate acceptance.

Obviously reading some of what she was thinking through the look on her face, Cade quickly said, “I was worried about you. Dr. Neal says that I should communicate with you as much as possible, so here goes. I might have been upset for a while that you skipped out of town, but Beth, I was more concerned about
you
. Everything I said that night came from right here…” Cade grabbed Beth’s hand and laid it flat on his chest over his heart.

“I was so scared that you’d been trapped or hurt in that fire, I said some things that came out wrong. I love you. I love you so much I’ve been a huge asshole to all the guys at the station and Penelope is ready to disown me. I want you to get better so you can come home with me.”

Home. The word settled into Beth’s heart and the knot in her stomach loosened for what seemed the first time since she’d stepped foot inside the treatment center. “I want to be normal for you, Cade. And I’m deathly afraid I never will be.”

“What the hell is normal, anyway?” Cade asked without missing a beat. “Are any of us normal? I run into burning buildings when everyone else is running out. I hear sirens and get excited. I haven’t told you this yet, but I’ve named my truck Curly Sue.”

She smiled a wan smile, but wasn’t ready to be swayed yet. “You deserve more.”

“More than what?”

“More than me,” Beth told him.

“Come here, sit with me.” Cade kept hold of her hand and towed her over to the small loveseat in the room. He sat and pulled her so she was sitting on his lap.

“There is no one ‘more than’ you, sweetheart. I took one look at you all those months ago, standing in your apartment watching as we put out that oil fire, and I was a goner. You’re the perfect package.”

“I’m not perfect.”

“No, you’re not; neither am I. What I should’ve said is that you’re the perfect package…for me. I feel like a better person when I’m around you. And this probably makes me sound like a douche, and Dr. Neal would have a field day with it, I’m sure—wait. Are these rooms monitored?”

Beth smiled a genuine smile for the first time. “If they are, I’ll hack in and make sure the tape is erased. But for the record, I don’t think you could say anything that would make you sound douchey.”

“You needing me makes me feel complete.” The words hung in the air for a moment before he continued. “I don’t know what it is in my DNA that makes me want to be a hero. Maybe it’s because of Penelope. She’s my younger sister and I always wanted to protect her. She’s as good a reason to blame for the way I am more than anything else.” He grinned. “When she looked up at me when I told a funny joke, or when I pushed a boy down who was bothering her, I felt ten feet tall.”

“I’m sure it’s why I’m in the career I am. It feels good to help people. To be there when they need someone. But you…you make me feel like a knight in shining armor simply by letting me hold your hand. I don’t think a relationship with a woman who didn’t need me like you do would ever work out. I’d feel…superfluous or something. You think you’re the one taking from me, but you’re wrong. I get so much by standing by your side, helping you keep your demons at bay, you have no idea.”

“So you could get the same feeling from helping anyone here at the treatment center? You’d be their hero too if they could hold your hand and have you keep their demons at bay while they took a walk around the grounds.” Beth wanted to understand, but she couldn’t deny his words soothed her soul and some of the worries she’d been carrying around.

“It’s not the same, and I hope to God you know it. It’s you, Beth.
You
. I hold people’s hands all the time in wrecks, in hospitals, at fire scenes, but it’s
your
hand I need to grab onto to feel complete. You make me want to be a better person. There’s nothing, and I mean nothing, I like more than sitting with you, just like this.”

“But you like being outside…you’re athletic and have a ton of friends.”

“
We
have a ton of friends, and you’re right, I do like playing softball and hanging out with my buddies, but Beth, you have stuff you do that I can’t as well.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. Your computer stuff. It’ll always be over my head.”

“But that’s just for fun.”

“Not if Tex has anything to say about it. Look, my point is that we don’t have to spend every day, all day, connected at the hip. But at the end of the day, when I come home, you’re the person I want to see and talk to. You’re the person I think about telling funny things to while I’m at work. I love you, Beth.
You
.”

“Even though I’ll probably always have panic attacks?”

“Yes. Will you love me if my hair recedes?”

Beth giggled. “Your hair isn’t going to recede.”

“I wouldn’t bet on that, sweetheart. I think I have a bald relative or two in my family tree.”

“Then yes, I’ll love you even if you have to have a comb-over.”

“If you’ll take me as
I
am, I’ll take you as
you
are.”

Beth looked into Cade’s eyes for a moment before collapsing on his chest and grabbing hold of him as hard as she could. “I love you, Cade Turner. More than you’ll ever know.”

“The feeling’s mutual, sweetheart.”

After a few minutes, Beth heard Cade ask, “What time is our meeting with Dr. Neal?”

“I think ten.”

“So we have some time.”

“Time? Yeah, I guess so.”

“How private is this room?”

“Not
that
private,” Beth told him with a blush.

“Beth, when we make love again, it won’t be rushed, and it won’t be in a visitors’ room where who the hell knows what has happened in it or where anyone could walk in. We’ll take our time and I’ll show you how much you mean to me by relearning your body inch by inch. I only asked because I wanted to make out with you a little bit. We haven’t been to second base in a while.”

“Oh…okay.”

Cade smiled and kissed her forehead. Then the tip of her nose, then her cheek as he made his way to her ear. Beth tilted her head, giving him more room to work. She felt his hot breath against her neck as he nipped and lightly sucked his way up. He took the lobe of her ear between his teeth and worked it gently as he nuzzled against her.

Finally, he let go and moved his lips up her ear. “I can’t wait to feel your heat surrounding my cock. You have no idea how good it feels, how good
you
feel. But it’s been way too long since I’ve felt your lips on mine. Kiss me, Beth?”

Ignoring the goosebumps that had spread down her arms at both his words and the feel of his length under her, Beth took Cade’s head in her hands and gave him what he wanted. What they both wanted.

She crushed her lips to his and sighed when he immediately opened for her. Her tongue swept inside his mouth and he met it with his own. They writhed in each other’s arms as the carnal kiss continued on and on. Cade tipped her back until he was holding her to him with one hand at her back and she was clasping him around his neck with both of hers. It wasn’t until Beth felt Cade’s hand creep up the front of her shirt and pull down the cup of her bra that she realized where they were.

She pulled back, breathing hard, and stared up at Cade—and broke into tears.

Cade didn’t say a word, merely pulled her upright into him again and held her against his chest as she cried.

“I thought I’d blown it!”

“Shhh, you didn’t blow anything. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I haven’t touched a match, candle, or lighter since I’ve been here.” Her words were choked out between sobs.

“Good. You’re so strong; you’ll beat your demons, Beth. I know it.”

They sat on the couch for a long time, sometimes talking, sometimes kissing, and other times just basking in the fact they were together again.

They were interrupted by Dr. Neal. “You ready for your session?”

“We’ll be there after Beth freshens up.”

“Okay, don’t take too long, I’ve got a full calendar today.”

Beth smiled up at Cade. “I think that was her way of telling us to stop making out and get our butts up to her office.”

Cade ran his hand over Beth’s hair lovingly. “You ready for this?”

“Yes. I think we both need to hear what she has to say. She’s been extremely helpful so far, and I want to make sure you know what you’re getting into with me.”

“What I’m getting into is having you in my arms every night. Loving you, laughing with you, and never knowing what package is going to show up at my doorstep next.”

“Did you really wear one of the thongs I sent you?”

Cade stood up and helped Beth to her feet as well. “You’ll just have to wait and find out for yourself.”

“Spoilsport.”

“Come on, I don’t want to get on the doctor’s bad side.”

Beth tugged on Cade’s hand before he could open the door and got serious. “If something happens up there today that you can’t handle…it’s okay. I’ll understand.”

Cade came back to Beth and settled his hands at the small of her back as he pulled her close. “Hear me now—
nothing
is going to scare me off. I see you, Beth. And I love what I see. We’ll deal with those demons one at a time and day by day. Together. Okay?”

“Okay.”

B
eth relaxed
against Cade and held tight to his hand as Dr. Neal continued to tell them both what to expect when Beth did finally go home. She’d thought the session was going to be super embarrassing, but as it turned out, Dr. Neal had only shared things that Cade already knew. She was feeling mellow, safe, and happy when the doctor calmly informed them that she’d invited someone else to their session.

Beth sat up at that, wondering who it could be. There were only a few people in her life who she really even talked to…her brother and parents, and her new friends in Texas. Had Dr. Neal invited some of Cade’s firefighting or cop friends up to visit? She figured not; Cade would’ve told her they were here.

Before she could ponder who in the world her doctor felt should be invited to her session, Dr. Neal walked to the door and opened it.

At first, Beth was at a loss as to who the couple was that entered the office. The woman looked to be around Cade’s age, in her mid-thirties, and the man was tall, even taller than Cade. He had a long-healed scar on his face that made one side of his mouth droop down into a perpetual scowl.

Beth opened her mouth to ask the doctor who they were—when memories flooded her brain like a tsunami.

Suddenly Beth was back in California. She’d seen the woman’s blue eyes filled with tears and looking at her in horror.

And the man…Beth hadn’t really gotten a good look at him when everything had gone down, but she hadn’t missed the way he’d tenderly taken care of the woman when they’d burst into the room.

From a long distance away, Beth heard Dr. Neal’s voice introducing the couple, but she wouldn’t forget them. Summer and Sam Reed. Of course, back then she’d been Summer Pack.

Without realizing what she was doing, Beth stood and backed away from the newcomers. She didn’t want to see them, didn’t want to remember what had happened.

Hearing nothing but the roar in her ears, Beth turned to flee, but there was nowhere to go. Summer and her husband were standing in the doorway and there were no other exits. Beth backed into a corner and dropped, grasping her knees and burying her head so she couldn’t see the two people who could force her to relive what had happened to her.

Images flashed through her brain as if on fast-forward and repeat at the same time. Ben Hurst’s laughing face, Summer’s whimpers, the smell of Beth’s flesh burning as a lit cigarette was pressed against it, the glint of a light off the knife…

Beth couldn’t stop the keening noise that was coming out of her mouth. It was too much, she’d trusted Dr. Neal. She couldn’t deal with this. Not at all.

Beth had no idea how long she’d been locked in her memories, but the first thing she noticed was that she was being held in a pair of arms against a warm, hard body. Her breaths were still coming too fast and she felt dizzy, but she could hear someone speaking into her ear.

Cade.

“You’re all right. You’re safe. I’m here. No one is going to hurt you. Slow down your breaths…that’s it. Good. Do it again, take a deep breath, hold it. Good. Now let it out. Again.”

“I-I need to get up.”

“No, you don’t. Just relax. When you’re steadier you can. For now, concentrate on you.”

“T-This is embarrassing.”

“No, it’s not.”

Beth cracked her eyes open and saw Cade right there in front of her. “I just majorly freaked out, Cade.”

“Naw, I wouldn’t call that a freak-out. A flashback maybe.”

Beth could see how worried he was about her, but he’d done just what she needed, kept it light. His teasing felt good.

“Seven minutes,” Dr. Neal said from across the room. “I’d say that was pretty good.”

Beth looked at her in confusion, keeping her eyes away from the couple now sitting on the couch. “Seven minutes?”

“Yup,” the doctor said as if she didn’t have a care in the world. “You were out of it for only seven minutes. Remember the first time you tried to go outside when you first got here? I think you panicked for more like twenty.”

Beth didn’t know whether or be mortified or pleased with her progress. She went with pleased. “Thanks…I think.”

Dr. Neal got serious, leaning forward in her chair, but not coming closer. “I know you think what I did was a dirty trick, but I believe you need this. You need to talk about what happened to you with someone who was there, who knows firsthand what you went through.”

Beth felt her heart rate kick. Cade must’ve too, because he grasped her hand tighter in his and murmured, “Easy, sweetheart. You can do this.”

Beth wasn’t so sure, but for Cade, she’d try. “Okay.”

Dr. Neal busied herself getting two chairs set up in front of the couch. Cade nuzzled Beth’s ear and whispered, “If it gets to be too much, just say the word and we’ll take a break, okay?”

She looked at the amazing man in her arms. She had no idea how she’d gotten so lucky, but she swore then and there to always make sure he knew how much she loved him and how much he did for her. She didn’t think he was a douche for admitting he liked it when she leaned on him. She understood that feeling helpful was a bone-deep need for him, and she’d gladly make sure that he got whatever he needed.

Nodding, she awkwardly got to her feet, stumbling as her head spun. Cade put an arm around her waist, steadying her. He led them to one of the chairs and instead of sitting next to her, once again pulled her onto his lap. Beth blushed, it wasn’t exactly the position she wanted to talk to Summer and her husband in, but it was obvious by the tight hold Cade had on her, she wasn’t going anywhere.

Beth finally looked up into the face of the woman who’d been the target of the madman’s rage so long ago. Deciding to take the upper hand, Beth said in a shaky voice, “Hi. It’s good to officially meet you. I’m Beth.”

Summer smiled gently and responded in a friendly, even voice, “You don’t know how good it is to meet you too. As you know, I’m Summer, and this is my husband, Sam. He was one of the Navy SEALs who found us that day.”

Beth would’ve thought Summer was meeting any ol’ person at any ol’ get together, if it wasn’t for the whiteness around her knuckles as she held on to her husband’s hand. That small sign that she wasn’t as relaxed as she portrayed went a long way toward making Beth feel better.

“And before we go any further, I just want you to know how sorry I am. I know you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time and nothing that happened to you was your fault. I would’ve done anything to have taken your place, it wasn’t—”

Beth spoke at the same time as the gorgeous man at Summer’s side did.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Sunshine, don’t,” Sam said in a soft voice as he put his free hand on her knee.

They all smiled weakly at each other before Summer continued, “I’ve been through therapy. Intellectually, I know what he did wasn’t my fault. I didn’t want that to happen to you, or me, but it did. But emotionally I have a harder time with it. You know?”

“Yeah, I know,” Beth told the distraught woman honestly.

“Okay, now that introductions are out of the way…does anyone have any issue with me leading the conversation for the next thirty minutes or so?”

Beth sighed in relief. Dr. Neal wasn’t a pushover. She’d make you own up to whatever you were feeling, but she was a damn good psychiatrist and knew when to push and when to back off. Beth was glad she was there to help her get through this meeting with the one woman she’d never thought she’d see again.

An hour later, Beth sighed in relief as Dr. Neal announced that she thought they’d made a lot of progress.

Reliving what had happened hadn’t been fun, but hearing from Summer how it felt to watch what was happening to her was eye-opening. She hadn’t thought about how it would’ve felt to be Summer, and to have been helpless to do anything while Hurst had been hurting Beth. It gave her a whole new perspective to the entire incident.

It wasn’t a miracle cure, the fear of being surrounded by strangers and being snatched out of thin air was still there, but it was somehow…dulled. Summer’s husband and his team had gotten there just in time. Beth didn’t remember a lot of her rescue, only a lot of confusion and being held in strong arms as they’d made their way off the mountain.

They headed to the door and Summer put her hand on Sam’s arm. “Can I have a minute with Beth?”

Beth recognized the look in the SEAL’s eye as he gazed down at his wife. She’d seen it that morning in Cade’s eyes. Adoration. “Of course. I’ll be right down the hall if you need me.”

Summer leaned up and kissed her husband. “Thanks.”

Cade mimicked Summer’s actions and kissed Beth. He drew back and stared into her eyes for a moment, as if he was making sure she was really okay before following the SEAL down the hall.

“Thanks for agreeing to come today, Summer,” Dr. Neal said. “You both are amazing women, and I’m as pleased as I could be with both of you. Take your time. I’ll keep your men busy.”

Summer grinned as Dr. Neal followed the two masculine men down the hall and turned to Beth.

“I’m really sorry for being sprung on you today. I thought you knew we’d be here.”

“Dr. Neal seems to like surprises,” Beth told Summer without malice.

“Obviously. I wanted to say something that isn’t really related to us and what we went through.”

Beth’s eyebrows went up. Not that she was complaining, she felt she’d been through the wringer over the last sixty minutes. A nap was looking more and more like it would be in her immediate future. But she was intrigued about what Summer could possibly have to say that wasn’t related to Ben Hurst and their kidnapping. “Go ahead.”

“You should take the job that Tex has been pleading with you to take.”

“What?” It was so out of left field, Beth had a hard time wrapping her brain around what Summer meant.

“Long story short…all right? Tex used to be a SEAL. He’s friends with my husband and the entire team. He had to retire because he was injured, but he works behind the scenes to help out not only my husband’s team, but several other military groups—and probably others that I don’t want to know about. He’s the one who orchestrated this meeting today.”

“I thought—”

“I know, you thought your doctor did. Well, she received an email from ‘me’ asking to meet you…even though I had no idea where you were and what you were up to.”

“Tex.”

Summer nodded. “He likes you. We don’t talk to him as much as we’d like, but he came clean and let me know what he did. Of course, he then had to explain how he’d connected with you…it makes my head hurt, but he mentioned something about firefighters, the Middle East, an Army Princess and backdoors.”

Beth smiled. Yup, that about summed up how she knew Tex.

Summer continued, “He told us that you were probably smarter than he was when it comes to hacking and computer shit. And let me tell you something, that’s freaking amazing, because Tex is hands-down the most talented man I’ve ever known when it comes to the Internet. If he says you’re smarter than he is, that’s one hell of an endorsement.”

“He said he could get me a job if I wanted it.”

“I know. That brings me full circle back to what I wanted to talk to you about. Take it.”

“But, I’m not sure—”

“Seriously, take it. Beth, you might be dealing with stuff up here,” she pointed to her own head and went on, “but that has nothing to do with who you are inside.” Summer put her hand on her heart to emphasize her point. “If working with computers makes you happy, that’s what you should do. If you want to be a professional puzzle-putter-together, then do that. But I’ve seen Tex at work. He has saved lives, including yours and mine that day.”

At Beth’s gasp, Summer narrowed her eyes. “You didn’t know?”

Beth shook her head.

“He tracked your cell phone. Hurst got rid of it, but not before Tex got a bead on where he was headed with you. If not for him, Sam and the others might not have found us in time.”

Beth couldn’t believe it. At no time since they’d been talking had Tex ever mentioned
that
little tidbit. She’d just thought he was Pen’s friend. Wait until she got ahold of her and explained how much Tex was intertwined in all of their lives. It was as if he was a real-live Kevin Bacon…the six degrees of separation were completely uncanny. Beth wondered briefly who else the man knew.

But his interference with both her and Summer’s lives made sense. Tex was the kind of man to inspire loyalty in those around him. Hell, Beth had lashed out at another hacker one night when he’d made fun of a piece of code Tex had written and shared in a chat room on the Dark Web. She’d only talked to the man online a couple of times after he’d tried to hack into her computer, but it was enough to know and trust him.

“I’ll talk to Cade about it.”

“Good. One more thing…”

Beth saw Summer hesitating. “Yeah?”

“Can I give you a hug? I’ve wanted to for so long.”

Beth opened her arms immediately and took a step forward. She and Summer were around the same height, so it was easy to bury her head between her shoulder and neck and hang on tight.

Being able to connect with the one person who’d been to hell and back with her was one of the most satisfying and heartbreaking things she’d ever been though in her entire life. After several moments, they pulled apart and gazed at each other.

“I’ve cried over what happened more than anyone will ever know, but you should know right now, I have no desire to cry,” Summer said. “I’m just so happy to be here with you, you have no idea.”

“I think I have
some
idea,” Beth joked.

“Do you think, if you’re up to it…you might want to get together again?” Summer hurried on. “Wherever you want. I can come to Texas, or here, or wherever.”

“I’d like that. Very much.”

Summer sighed in relief. “Okay. Good. Maybe you can drag Penelope along with you?”

Beth once again knew she had some things to talk to her friend about. Why Summer would want to get together with Pen was beyond her, but she was too tired to figure it all out now. “Sure.”

“Thank you for being so damn tough that day, Beth. I have no idea what Hurst would’ve done if you hadn’t been.”