She Never Knew (33 page)

“Get settled in okay?” Mary smiled
warmly at Kat, knowing her sister would soon be facing some major life changes.
On the outside, Kat appeared calm, cool, and collected. However, Mary knew that
on the inside, Kat was uneasy and apprehensive about her upcoming joint session
with Daniel.

Kat returned her smile and sat on the
bed next to Tyler. She wrapped her arms around his little body and gave him a
light squeeze. “I still need to unpack as I made a couple of phone calls. Robert
and Rhonda will be joining us for dinner tonight.”

“And Eli, too?” Tyler shrieked. He
hadn’t seen his friend in over two weeks as the Burns family had returned from
their vacation the day after Kat, Mary, and Tyler went to the resort.

“Yes, and Eli, too!” Kat and Mary
laughed as Tyler began jumping on the bed. With a final plop, he slid off and
ran to his room.

“Did you tell Rhonda anything?” Mary
asked, glancing at her sister.

“No, there wasn’t time. I just mentioned
that I had news to share with her. You’ll like them, Mary. I don’t know where I
would be without them.”

Mary recalled the emails Kat had sent
when the sisters reunited. Kat had described her neighbors so well that Mary
felt she practically knew them herself. She was thankful that Kat had such good
friends to look out for her. With a twinkle in her eye, she said, “I can’t wait
to meet them.”

Two hours and three pizzas later, Tyler
and Eli went upstairs while the adults hung back in the living room. They had
had a good conversation going, chatting about the trips they had taken and
sharing stories of the boys from when they were born. Robert and Rhonda were
fascinated by Mary’s profession and admired her dedication to treating
special-needs children. Mary was enthralled by the way her sister and neighbors
bantered with each other. She sensed a deep closeness among them and for that,
she was grateful. She knew that Robert and Rhonda played a large role in Kat’s
well being. The fact that they had a son close in age to Tyler was an added
bonus.

“Okay, so tell us what the big news is.”
Rhonda leaned forward towards Kat and smiled. “The suspense is killing us.”

“Yes, stop beating around the bush. Tell
us already.” Robert interjected, holding up a hand. “Let me guess, you’re
getting married.”

“No!” Kat said, almost too loudly. There
was a collective hush that befell the room and suddenly Kat felt tense. “I’m
sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so defensive. It’s just that a lot’s happened
since you guys went on vacation.”

All eyes were on Kat. Robert had a frown
on his face and Rhonda appeared worried. Mary, who was sitting next to her
sister, took her hand in hers and encouraged her to go on.

Kat quickly glanced across the room to
ensure the boys weren’t playing with their Slinky toys on the staircase. When
she was satisfied that they were out of earshot, she began by telling her
friends how she discovered that Daniel was Tyler’s father. For the next hour, she
went into detail about the night the truth came out. She explained how distant
she had felt from Daniel and went to the church to talk to him. She relayed
that before she was able to see Daniel, she encountered her former student in
the parking lot. She described how Darryl confronted her and tried to attack
her. She told them how Daniel came to her rescue and that she refused to go
home afterwards. She provided details about when she pushed Daniel for an
explanation as to why there seemed to be such awkwardness between them and how
he reacted. She didn’t leave anything out when she illustrated Daniel’s breakdown
and confession. She told them about
The Lamp
and how it had a profound
impact on her and how it eventually helped her make a decision about forgiving
Daniel.

Robert and Rhonda sat there,
dumbfounded. They never moved nor said a word the entire time Kat spoke.
Silence hung over the room as Robert and Rhonda absorbed the information they
had just heard.

“The only reason I’m telling you this is
because I’ve decided that Tyler needs to have his father in his life. Who am I
to deny him that right? I can’t keep lying to him.”

Kat cleared her throat. “I’m not going
to turn Daniel in to the police. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and
I’ve spoken with Dr. Sullivan and Pastor Cullen. They’ve given me some good
advice and I’m asking you for your support.”

“Kat, you’ll always have our support.”
Robert said softly. Rhonda nodded in agreement.

Kat paused as she peered at her friends.
She really wanted them to understand where she was coming from. “The hardest
thing I’ve ever had to do was be objective about all of this. Easier said than
done, right? At first, I was in a state of shock, of disbelief, that this could
not really be happening to me. I was angry, but surprisingly, I was no longer
afraid.”

“From an objective standpoint, I have no
right to deny Tyler a relationship with his father. No, he doesn’t know, and I
don’t know when or how I’m going to tell him. What I’m trying to say is that
based on Daniel’s childhood, his drug history, and the good things he’s done,
and the fact that Tyler adores him, I sincerely believe Daniel is not a bad
person. I do believe he made a very bad choice when he raped me.”

Kat exhaled sharply before continuing.
“I’ve taken into account the positive qualities Daniel has. Despite what he
did, he was always there for me. He makes Tyler feel special. When he ran away,
Daniel was the one who found him and brought him back to me. When I lost William,
Daniel was there. He didn’t set up those situations so he could come out
looking like a hero. It just happened that way. I truly believe Daniel feels
remorseful for what’s he done.” Remembering the decrepit appearance of the man she
saw in the sound booth, she added, “I could see it in his eyes and in his face.
He was so broken, so ashamed.”

Reaching for a tissue, Kat blew her
nose. She inhaled sharply and closed her eyes. She was on the verge of crying
and didn’t want to break down in front of her friends. Now was not the time to fall
apart. She needed to be strong.

“Oh, Kat. I’m so sorry.” Rhonda came
around to sit next to Kat while Mary went to the kitchen to make hot tea.

“I can’t imagine what you must be
feeling. This is a lot to take in.” Rhonda felt helpless to do anything but be
there for her friend.

Kat wiped her eyes with the back of her
hand. “Amazingly, I’ve managed to sift through some of these emotions I have
and make sense of them. I had to, for Tyler’s sake. That’s another reason why I
wanted you two to know about this. If Daniel is going to be a part of Tyler’s
life, he’s going to be around. As often as we get together and the boys play
together, are you willing to look at Daniel as Tyler’s father instead of as a
man who raped me?”

Rhonda looked at Rob, who appeared
uncomfortable. “Honestly, I’m not sure.” He shook his head. “Uh, I really don’t
know. I think it’s going to be very awkward and it’s going to take some serious
adjusting on our part.”

Kat nodded. “Fair enough. If you’re
worried about Eli, I understand. But I don’t think you have anything to be
alarmed about. Pastor Cullen told me that Daniel has decided to turn himself in
and that he would rather die than do anything to upset Tyler.”

Mary returned to the living room with a
cup of herb tea. Kat took it and sipped it, grateful for the distraction. “How
are you holding up?” Mary asked.

“I’m okay. It’s just reliving this
that’s hard.” Kat offered her sister a weak smile.

Rhonda said soothingly, “Time does heal,
Kat. Right now, everything is fresh for you.” She rubbed her friend’s back and
glanced at her husband, who continued to sit silently, unsure of what to make
of all of this.

“You know, Robert, you were right about
Daniel.”

Robert glanced at Kat in surprise. “What
do you mean?”

“Your instincts were right on target.
You knew something was off but you couldn’t put your finger on it. Remember?
Daniel had gone to the bathroom and I —”

“—Yeah, but I never dreamed that it
would be something like this, Kat.” Robert almost looked ill as if he was sorry
he ever brought it up in the first place.

“I’m not blaming you. Please realize
that. I just wish I had better sense sometimes.”

Robert and Rhonda knew what Kat was
referring to. They knew she was upset about the fact that she once believed she
would have a future with Daniel. What he did to her went against everything she
believed. No, Kat and Daniel would never have a happily-ever-after fairy tale
ending.

“You couldn’t have known, Kat.” Rhonda
reassured her. “And you’re human. People fall in love, and I think that’s why
it hurts so much.”

“I’m really glad you guys are here. I’ve
been blessed to have Mary back in my life and that she extended her stay for a
few more days so I could regain my bearings.” Kat studied the smiling faces she
loved dearly and wondered how she got so lucky to have people who truly cared
about her.

Robert spoke first. “Kat, we will support
you in any way we can. All you have to do is ask. Just know that we’re always
here for you.”

Kat got up and gave Robert a hug. It
meant so much to her to know that her friends were willing to keep an open mind
about Daniel, especially for Tyler’s sake. “Thank you. Thank you both.”

Kat turned to Mary and gave her a hug as
well. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you here. It was hard enough
when Mom and Dad—”

“Shhhh.” Mary hugged her sister, patting
her hair and trying to comfort her. She knew Kat had some tough times ahead of
her but after meeting Robert and Rhonda, she felt confident that they would
help her sister through every step of the process when she returned to New York.

For the remainder of the evening, Kat
answered questions that Robert and Rhonda had. In the end, they had a better
understanding of Daniel and of her decision to include him in Tyler’s life. She
explained how after some serious soul searching, she was determined to put
aside her anger and resentment toward Daniel. She was tired of lying to her son
about who his biological father was. Before the evening ended, she swore the
occupants of her living room to secrecy. The only other people who knew
Daniel’s history was Pastor Cullen and Dr. Sullivan and it would remain that
way forever. It had to, for Tyler’s sake.

It was an emotional evening, but one
that offered Kat much relief. She had unburdened herself among the people
closest to her and as a result, never felt freer than she had in a long time. In
fact, she was beginning to feel that inner sense of peace flowing throughout
her body.

 “Kat, I wanted to talk to you for a few
minutes before Mr. Stevens arrives.” Dr. Sullivan spoke softly from her chair
in her office. Initially, when Kat arrived early for her appointment, she
expected to see Daniel in the reception area and was surprised to learn he
wasn’t there. At first, she thought perhaps he followed through on his earlier vow
that he would turn himself in, but when Dr. Sullivan explained that Daniel
would not arrive for another half hour, she breathed a sigh of relief. She was
anxious and unsure of how she would react when she saw Daniel for the first
time since his confession that night in the sanctuary. In fact, Kat was
beginning to wonder if what she was doing was the right thing after all.

Dr. Sullivan’s office was decorated in
warm coral colors. Her walls were painted in peach and her furnishings
consisted of a chocolate leather couch and matching chairs. Her patients typically
favored the couch next to the window but Kat preferred the twin sofa chairs
directly across from Dr. Sullivan’s desk. She couldn’t imagine herself trying
to have a conversation with someone while lying down. Besides, she felt
maintaining eye contact was crucial to a productive exchange between doctor and
patient.

“It is my belief that Mr. Stevens is not
a threat to you and I say this for two compelling reasons. One, he does not possess
the characteristics of a masked, knife-wielding rapist, and two, from my
observation of his behavior, he exhibits indicative signs of deep remorse for
his actions, particularly since he was in a drug-fueled state of mind at the
time of the rape.”

Kat exhaled slowly, unaware that she had
held her breath. Dr. Sullivan noted her apprehensiveness but refrained from
commenting.

“From our last session, you indicated
that you would be receptive to letting Daniel become a part of Tyler’s life.”

Kat bobbed her head, swallowing hard.
“Yes, I did. Do you think that’s wise? I mean, isn’t that the right thing to do
for him?” A lump resurfaced in her throat as Kat fought to main self-control.

Dr. Sullivan removed her glasses and set
them on her desk. Folding her hands, she leaned forward and gazed at Kat
thoughtfully. “Your comfort level will play a large role during this
transition. In other words, if you are comfortable with Tyler spending time
with his father, I think in time, a very healthy father/son relationship will
evolve. I have no evidence to suggest the contrary, nor do I believe that he would
be a danger to your son.”