She Never Knew (29 page)

Daniel dropped his head and sobbed
openly. This was the moment Kat was waiting for. This was the moment when she
would find out how it all came about. Her heart rate began to accelerate.

After blowing his nose, Daniel went on.
“I don’t remember driving back to The Commons but I remember believing I was at
Jenny’s place. She had the same apartment number you did, but I was so messed
up on drugs that I didn’t realize I was on the south side.”

Kat maintained her distance as she eyed
Daniel suspiciously. So far what he said seemed to make sense. However, she
knew the worst was yet to come.

“I had a key to her place and when I
tried to unlock your door, obviously I couldn’t get in. In my state of mind, I
assumed she used the deadbolt.” A hidden deadbolt was installed from inside the
apartment for added security and could not be seen from the outside.

“I—I walked around back and tried the
door there. Of course the key didn’t work there, either. So I smashed the
window to get in. Once I got in, I tripped over your couch. It never once dawned
on me that I was in the wrong apartment. Jenny didn’t have a couch by that
window.”

Daniel began to dry heave. He grabbed
the small wastebasket that sat in the corner of the sound booth and leaned over
it. His body shook and he heaved again, but nothing came out.

Kat filled in the blanks of what
happened next. Daniel assumed she was Jenny. He had screamed at her and called
her names and then he had raped her.

She broke her stance and slowly sank into
a pew, her eyes never leaving Daniel. He was wheezing horribly and sobbing
uncontrollably. Kat couldn’t ever recall a moment when she saw a man cry like
that. A tear slid slowly down her cheek as she watched the broken man before
her hang his head in deep shame. He repeated over and over how sorry he was and
how he would never forgive himself for hurting her the way he did. She watched
as he rocked himself back and forth, gasping for air and sniveling.

Then, momentary relief washed over body,
soothing her soul and lessening her pain. For some reason, she wasn’t afraid of
him and had no explanation for it. Her gaze moved to the portrait of
The Lamp
,
and as she studied it, the light seemed to brighten considerably. She blinked,
believing her eyes had tricked her, but the light remained unchanged.

Kat’s eyes darted back to Daniel as he raised
his face. His face blotchy and his eyes swollen, he resumed his confession.
“Two days later I woke up in my apartment. I don’t remember what happened
after—afterwards, but I must’ve found my way back home. I was still wearing the
clothes I wore to the party.”

He blew his nose and cleared his throat.
“Everything came flooding back to me then. It took me a week to find the
courage to go see you and apologize for what I did, even if it meant going to
jail. When I got there, a cleaning lady was inside your apartment. She said you
had moved out.”

Kat spoke for the first time since
Daniel’s admission of guilt. “Did you follow me here?”

“What?”

“Did you follow me here?” she screamed.

Startled, Daniel’s body twitched. “No!
I—I was transferred here about a year ago.” He was visibly shaken by Kat’s
outburst but that offered her little comfort.

Something else nagged at Kat. She
couldn’t quite place it, but it had to do with Daniel’s appearance that night.

“How long were you on drugs?” she
inquired.

“About two years.” As if reading her
thoughts, he explained that meth users typically lose a lot of weight in a
short period of time and their facial appearances undergo drastic changes. He suddenly
realized his former appearance was quite similar to Darryl Baker’s. Kat’s
reaction made perfect sense.

“After what I did, I—I knew I had to
clean up my act. I shaved off my beard, got my hair cut and checked myself into
rehab. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I followed the program to
get clean. I regained the weight I’d lost and I never touched the stuff again.”

“What happened to your brother and
Jenny?”

Daniel looked up at the ceiling and
swallowed hard. “She moved in with him.”

No wonder he wanted nothing to do with
his brother. Kat stared at him with mixed feelings. A part of her felt sorry
for him, sorry for the life he had led as a child, and sorry for what his drug
addiction did to him. The man she once cared for deeply was now a stranger to
her, and that hurt her more than anything. She was beginning to understand why
Daniel kept his distance from her.

“The rehab place I went to had a
three-month program, so I basically lived there. I had moved out of my
apartment before I checked in. When I got out, I had a new place lined up on
the other side of the city. I didn’t want to run into Jenny or my brother. I
didn’t want to see any of them. I didn’t want to be around that life style
anymore.”

She recalled their first meeting at the
church during Vacation Bible School week when they had collided. She also
recalled how he made no effort to get close to her. It wasn’t until when Tyler
ran away that things had changed between them.

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you any more than
I already have.” Daniel looked at her for a second then rubbed his eyes. “When
I saw you at the church for the first time, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I
couldn’t believe it was you.”

“Were you ever going to tell me it was
you all along?” Kat wanted to know.

“I thought about it many times.” Daniel
answered honestly. “There never seemed to be the right time, and then we
started getting closer, and I—” Fresh tears sprang from his eyes as he found
the courage to face Kat.

“I’m—I’m so sorry, Kat. Oh God, you have
no idea how sorry I am!” Daniel’s voice cracked as he slid off of his chair and
onto the floor.

Kat observed the wretched man huddled in
the sound booth. He looked small and defeated, his dispirited body spent and
his soul wracked with pain from carrying all that guilt. Then a new realization
befell her.

Daniel is Tyler’s father!
Oh, God!

She quickly stood up and stared at
Daniel, her heart racing again. His forehead leaned against the table next to
the sound board as Kat watched him suffer. His shoulders trembled and he was
silently crying.

She turned and ran out of the sanctuary back
to the entrance of the church. When she stepped outside, she inhaled sharply as
she looked up at the heavens. The stars were no longer in sight and the sky was
blacker than ever before.

Kat got into her car and sat there for a
long time, astounded by everything that had transpired that evening. His
insistence that she tell Tyler about his birth father was starting to make
sense now. She glanced at her cell phone and saw that it was well past two
o’clock in the morning. She had no messages but she knew Mary was probably
worried about her. She had to get home right away.

When Kat pulled into her driveway, she
saw that Mary had left the kitchen light on for her. The fact that her sister
was here gave Kat much comfort. The fact that Daniel was Tyler’s father changed
everything. The fact that she needed her sister more than anything was evident
to her. She needed her advice on where to go from here.

Troubled by her thoughts, Kat quietly
entered her house. She found Mary asleep on the couch, covered with an afghan
their mother had made for Kat years ago. She wore a nightgown and held an open
book against her chest. It was obvious she had waited up for Kat. A reading
lamp that sat on the end table was still on.

Kat went directly upstairs to check on
Tyler. He was sound asleep with one arm wrapped around Froggy. In the other
hand, he clutched his favorite matchbox car. His face revealed a small smile and
she guessed that he was probably dreaming about his cars.

Her heart swelled with love as she stood
there staring at her little boy. Earlier that evening, she had no idea who his
father was. Now she knew. It just wasn’t fair. He was so innocent in all of
this.

When Kat returned downstairs, she approached
her sister and gently rubbed her shoulder. “Mary?” she whispered. “Mary, wake
up.”

“Hmm?” Mary’s eyes flew open and she
stared at Kat, momentarily forgetting where she was. After a few seconds, her
focus returned and she smiled.

“Late night, huh?” Yawning, she sat up
and rubbed her eyes. “What time is it?”

“Almost three.”

“Wow, it must’ve been some—” She stopped
abruptly and stared at Kat’s clothes. Her sister’s blouse was torn at the
sleeve and her face was smudged with dirt.

“Oh, my God! Kat, what did he do to
you?” Mary’s jaw fell as she inspected Kat’s face. A small bruise on her
forehead was already showing signs of discoloration.

Realizing that her sister was referring
to Daniel, Kat shook her head and held up a hand. “I’m fine. It wasn’t Daniel.”

“What happened?” Mary’s expression was
grave.

“Sorry I didn’t call. There was—a lot
has happened.” Kat sat on the adjoining couch and rested her elbows on her
knees. She played with her hands as she looked at Mary, wondering where to
begin.

“You’re scaring me. Say something.”

“A former student of mine tracked me
down. I don’t know how he found me since I use an alias in my classroom, but he
showed up at the church parking lot not long after I arrived.” She described to
Mary the events of what happened and how Daniel came to her rescue.

Mary leaned back on the couch,
bewildered by what she just heard. “And you’re sure you’re all right?” She
frowned with concern at the abrasion on her sister’s cheek.

Kat nodded as she waved her hand over
herself. “I’m fine, really.” Touching her cheek, she said lightly, “This is
what happens when you make contact with pavement.”

Mary looked at her warily, wondering how
her sister could make jokes at a time like this. “You seem pretty calm about
this. Why are you so calm?”

Kat told her about
The Lamp of the
Body
and how it had a soothing effect on her, how it seemed to take away
her fears, and how it gave her the surge of strength she needed.

“Thank God Daniel was there, Kat.” Mary
said, slowly shaking her head. “Come to think of it, he’s always been there for
you, hasn’t he?”

“There’s more.”

Mary lifted her eyebrows and looked
expectantly at her sister. She couldn’t possibly imagine what more there could
be.

Kat took a deep breath and met her
sister’s eyes. “Daniel is Tyler’s father.”

“He’s what?” Mary’s jaw dropped. But the
look on Kat’s face told her she had heard correctly. She leaned forward in bafflement,
her eyes wide. “He—Daniel’s the one who was in your apartment that night?”

Kat nodded, not saying anything. She was
still having a hard time believing it herself. Mary was perplexed as to how her
sister came to learn this disturbing piece of news.

Seeing the confusion on Mary’s face, Kat
explained, “The whole purpose of seeing Daniel tonight was to talk to him about
our relationship. I wanted to confront him face to face about why he was
avoiding me lately. I kept pressing him and before I knew it, he blurted it
out.”

Mary looked at Kat with a frown. She was
alarmed for her sister’s safety as well as Tyler’s well being.

“Have you called the police?” Mary
asked.

“No, I—I’m not sure what I’m going to do
yet.” As accurately as she could, Kat relayed Daniel’s confession to Mary. She
described his childhood, drug history, how he mistook her for his ex-fiancé,
his road to recovery, and finally, his sorrow for the pain he had caused her.

Kat stood up from the couch and paced
the living room. She turned to her sister with determination in her eyes. “As
angry as I am with him right now, a part of me feels relieved.”

“You have answers.” Mary reasoned.

“Yes. Yes, I do.” Kat returned to the
couch, adrenaline pumping through her veins. “You should’ve seen him, Mary. He
was so pitiful and remorseful that I thought he was going to have a nervous breakdown.”

Mary studied her younger sister with
renewed admiration. Kat was a woman who was very much in control. She was calm
and levelheaded, and above all, the strongest person she ever knew. In her
fifteen years of practice, she never met anyone who underwent multiple traumas
to exude such poise as her sister did at this moment. After everything she had
been through, Kat never lost her spirit. She was a woman of dignity and Mary
suspected that Tyler had much to do with the person Kat became over the years.

“Where is Daniel now?” Mary asked
softly.

“I don’t know. He was still at the
church when I left.”

“What did he say about Tyler?”

“It never came up. I left as soon as I
made the connection.” Kat eyed her sister cautiously. “I don’t think he knows
for sure Tyler is his, Mary. He knows that Michael is not the biological father,
but he doesn’t know that I’ve been celibate since then.”