Shattered Moments (36 page)

Boxing Day 1626

Virginia

Valerie pushed a lock of hair out of her face as she helped Genevieve pack several baskets of food for the workers.  They’d had their Christmas dinner and service yesterday, but traditionally, Boxing Day was a day for giving gifts to the workers and servants, and Alec liked his traditions.  He gave everyone the day off as well as some freshly baked bread, ham, cheese, and dry apple slices, which Valerie insisted on since the workers needed vitamin C to prevent scurvy. 

In addition to the food
, he also gave each man a small bag of tobacco, which could be used to trade for other goods in lieu of cash.  The men were allowed one day to walk into Jamestown and trade their tobacco for whatever consumer goods they needed.  Most men opted for a new shirt or a coat to keep them warm during the winter months.  Some men asked Alec to hold on to their share for them until their contract was up, and they could trade the accumulated tobacco for a new suit of clothes or household goods. 

Christmas this year had been a somewhat subdued affair. 
Charles had come by to offer his felicitations, but no one had had any contact with Annabel since the trial.  Evie, Robbie, and Tom were upset that Harry and Millie weren’t there for the holiday, and Jenny floated around like a ghost, lost in her own fug of melancholy.  Fred and Barbara Taylor had joined the family for Christmas dinner, as had Minnie, but the mood was less than merry.  Valerie tried not to think of Finn and Abbie as they celebrated Christmas in their own time with the Mallory family around them.  She missed them desperately, but in view of their long absence from home, the chance to visit hadn’t presented itself yet. 

Alec had toyed with the idea of
telling Charles the truth about where they’d been, but Valerie implored him to reconsider, and he had.  After Annabel’s treachery, it was difficult to trust Charles with something as explosive as their secret.  If Annabel found out she could have them arrested on charges of witchcraft, and although no one could prove anything, suspicion was often enough to convict.  So the truth had to remain a secret. 

Valerie fastened her woolen cape around her shoulders and slung a basket over each arm.  The day was cold and gray
; the afternoon light strangely flat beneath the low-hanging clouds.  She walked cautiously on the frosty grass, careful not to slip.  Genevieve walked silently next to her, her face rosy from the cold, but her eyes like shuttered windows.  She’d never been particularly talkative, but now she was downright taciturn.  The only time she smiled seemed to be when she was around the children, although a look of pain often crossed her features when she held Tom.

Valerie set down her basket, brushed the snowflakes off the bench and sat down, patting the space next to her, but Genevieve stared at the bench is if it
were covered with hot coals.  She finally set her basket down and sat next to Valerie, her eyes glued to the pond as if she could see something that was invisible to Valerie. 

They weren’t often alone, so this was a good opportunity to try to talk.  Both Alec and Valerie had tried to gently find out what was wrong, but Genevieve had learned to avoid being alone with them, and always had one of the children hanging on her skirts, preventing any kind of serious conversation.

Valerie took a deep breath and plunged in.  “Jenny, I’ve lost my daughter, and you’ve never had a mother, so we are both longing for someone to take their place.  Won’t you let me be that which you need?  I know you’re hurting, and it kills me that I can’t help you.  Maybe if Louisa had spoken to me, or to her aunt, things could have turned out differently.  Won’t you talk to me?  I promise that if you want to keep our conversation secret, I won’t say a word to your uncle.  I only want to help.”

Valerie hoped
to break through the barrier that the girl had erected around herself, but instead Genevieve just dissolved into tears.  She didn’t make a sound as she cried, the tears sliding down her cheeks and dripping onto her cloak where they left little wet spots.  Genevieve’s face was contorted with misery, and Valerie just opened her arms as Genevieve leaned into them and sobbed into her shoulder.  This was the first time she’d seen her cry, and she held her close as she shook with silent sobs, her arms wrapped around Valerie for comfort.   

“Cameron, is it?” Valerie asked gently, and was surprised to see Jenny’s nod.  She blew her nose and finally turned to face Valerie. 

“Please, don’t tell Uncle Alec; he’ll be so upset.  I know he wants what’s best for me and keeps trying to find me a suitable husband, but I’m already wed.”  The tears began to flow again as Valerie just wrapped her arm around the girl. 

“Have you heard from him?”

Jenny just shook her head.  “Not since the day he ran off, but he promised to send for me as soon as he was able.”

Valerie didn’t ask how he expected to get back home and with what money he planned to send for his bride.  Maybe he’d just said that to pacify her, or maybe he really meant it, but the reality of that happening was pretty slim. 

“Jenny, are you pregnant?” Valerie asked carefully.

Genevieve
shook her head again as she stared across the thin layer of ice covering the pond.  How could she describe to Aunt Valerie the countless hours she spent praying, hoping, wishing, fearing, and finally accepting?  Her monthly flow had never been regular; sometimes coming every month, and at others skipping as many as three months at a time.  It had never been a great source of concern, but after Cameron left, the significance of that suddenly took on a new meaning. 

She had no way of knowing if her menses were simply delayed or i
f she was with child.  At first, Genevieve had been horrified by the possibility that she might be pregnant, but then the idea of having Cameron’s baby filled her with such longing that she could barely draw breath.  As the days passed, she went from praying for it to be true, to beseeching God to let her get her flow and not be put into a position where she would be shamed before all of Jamestown community, to longing for the baby despite everything.  The weeks turned into months, and still she had no definite answer.  She felt crampy and moody; her head ached, and her breasts felt tender, but that could only mean that her flow was coming.   She’d felt that way before, and for lack of a midwife to tell her for sure, she was in Purgatory. 

It was only a week ago that she finally saw blood as she wiped herself, and knew that the dream of a baby was over.  Her flow came with a vengeance, and she bled and bled
; her body finally replying to the question, and leaving no room for doubt.  Genevieve had to admit that a part of her was relieved, but a bigger part of her was heartbroken; forced to accept that their baby was not to be, at least for the time being.  She wished she could curl into a ball and just stay that way until Cameron sent for her, but that was impossible in a household where so many people lived together, and the children were constantly begging for her attention.  She loved them all, but it was Tom, in particular, who broke her heart, for he was the youngest and the sweetest, the one who loved her unconditionally as her own baby might have.

“I thought I was, but then I wasn’t
,” she finally replied, a faraway look in her eyes.  “I was both relieved and devastated at the same time.  Oh, Aunt Valerie, I wanted to have his baby so much.  It would have been a part of him that was mine forever, but now I may never see him again, or know if he’s alive or dead.  I pray for him every day, and I try to close my eyes and feel him, but I can’t.  I just feel so empty inside.”

Valerie took
Genevieve’s cold hand in her own and held it.  What could she tell her that would make her feel better?  It was a blessing the girl wasn’t pregnant, but she could understand her desire to be.  She clearly lost her heart to the young Scot, and she wanted to hold on to a part of him, but of course, in this day and age, having a baby out of wedlock would make her a social outcast and a woman of loose morals.  No one would care that her and Cameron considered themselves married.  In their eyes, she would be the whore of a convict and a runaway, and the only thing that would save her reputation would be to put about a story that she’d been raped by him, which Jenny would never allow.  So, her not being pregnant was indeed a blessing in disguise. 

As to her husband, God only knew where he could be at this very moment.  He’d managed to run away and avoid being captured, but where did he go then?  He’d promised to send for her, which implied that he meant to go back to Scotland, but how did he propose to get there?  He had nothing but the clothes on his back, and would be instantly returned to Rosewood Manor if caught anywhere around Jamestown, which was the only port.  The boy was most likely dead, but she couldn’t say that to
Genevieve, so she just held her close and offered silent support, which was the only thing she had to give.  Poor girl; she hadn’t had a happy life, and now she would spend years pining for a man who was probably dead. 

Soft snowflakes began to fall from the sky, twirling and dancing in the light wind which blew from the direction of the river.  They settled on their cheeks and noses, melting within seconds and leaving their faces cold and wet. 
Genevieve suddenly smiled as an unexpected ray of sunshine lit up the heavy clouds and cast an unexpected glow on everything around them.  She raised her face to the sky and closed her eyes as snowflakes fell on her eyelids. 

“He’s alive, Aunt Valerie, I know it.  I wasn’t sure before, but now I feel it in my bones.” 

She got up and went to fetch her basket and suddenly did a little twirl and dip that made Valerie smile.  How volatile young people were, in any age.  They could go from utter despair to shining hope in a matter of moments, and carry you along on their joy.  Valerie smiled and went to fetch her own baskets.  If Genevieve believed Cameron was alive, who was she to dispute it?  Stranger things had happened.

September 1627

Jamestown, Virginia

The muddy waters of the James River sparkled in the brilliant sunshine, seagulls swooping down as they spotted a fish beneath the waves and coming up triumphant, their catch thrashing in their beaks.  A gentle breeze blew off the water as puffy white clouds lazily floated across the dazzling blue sky.  But Alec saw none of the beauty of the September morning.  All he saw was the dark outline of a ship as it nosed its way out of the harbor and made for open water.  He thought he could hear the snapping of the sails and the creaking of the wood, but the vessel was already too far away, and growing smaller by the minute.  Alec was startled out of his misery by the touch of Valerie’s hand as she gently tried to pull him away from the quay. 

“She didn’t give you much choice, Alec,” Valerie reminded him gently, her eyes full of sympathy.

“I know, but I still feel as if I failed her… and Rose,” Alec replied, finally turning to face his wife.  “I was foolish to think that I could protect her and give her security and comfort.”

“But you have,” Valerie protested, knowing they would have to go over the argument a few hundred more times before Alec finally came to terms with his loss.
  “You’ve given her a home, a family, and your love.”

“What kind of life will she have in Scotland with that ruffian?” Alec asked petulantly, sulking like a child.

“Alec, she loves him, and it stands to reason that he loves her just as much.  He didn’t have to send for her, or repay you for the indenture contract that he broke.  You must admit that the man does have honor, and courage.  You’re just upset that she chose him over you,” Valerie said playfully, pulling him along the dock.

“I suppose I am.  I just wanted to keep her near, to see her get married and have children.  I wanted to do right by her, and in doing so, do right by my sister.  I can’t protect her in Scotland.”

“No, you can’t, but Genevieve will have her husband to protect her; a husband who’s strong, resourceful, and steadfast
—
all the qualities that I love in you.” 

Alec finally tore his eyes away from the
receding vessel and smiled down at Valerie.  “You’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“Is it working?”

Alec nodded and helped Valerie into the trap for the ride home.  He had to admit that Genevieve’s announcement that she was going to Scotland came as a shock.  He’d forgotten all about the runaway Scot, and was focused on running the plantation and trying to put out all the fires that flared within the family from time to time. 

Thankfully, the past year had been relatively quiet, especially with Charles and Annabel residing in Jamestown once more.  Louisa resolutely refused to allow Annabel anywhere near the house after what she
’d done, so Charles occasionally brought Harry and Millie to Rosewood Manor to visit with their cousins.  It wasn’t fair on the children, and they failed to understand why they were no longer all living together.  Annabel, however, had gotten what she was after.  Cousin Wesley made a Will, in which he bequeathed the entire estate to Harry, appealing to Annabel’s sense of justice.  She seemed to forget that, strictly speaking, the estate should have gone to Tom, being the direct male descendant of her brother, but Alec chose not to get involved.  Tom would have his own inheritance when the time came, and he was happy that Harry would be well provided for. 

Alec climbed onto the bench and took up the reins.  He had to admit that he was looking forward to a game of chess with Fred Taylor after the midday meal.  Those games had saved the day, and he was grateful to the old man for everything he’d done
for them, especially his cunning ideas for freeing Kit.  No one besides Louisa ever found out why Deverell was blackmailing Kit, so life was back to normal, at least on the outside.  Relations between Kit and Louisa seemed a bit strained when Alec and Valerie finally returned, but they seemed to be on the right track, rebuilding their bond and healing the hurt.  Louisa would never completely forgive or forget, but she loved Kit enough to understand what drove him to submit to Buckingham, and tried not to judge.  It was still difficult for her at times to understand that things were different in the here and now, and that a man could lose his head, as well as his title and fortune, on a whim of another.  This wasn’t the world she was used to where a person had rights and options.  This was the seventeenth century, where a man of power could easily destroy his enemies without any consequences or guilt. 

The countryside flowed past as Alec drove toward the plantation, his mind still occupied by his thoughts. 
He would miss Jenny dreadfully, but somewhere deep inside, if he were honest with himself, he was happy for her.  She’d found love, and although he didn’t necessarily approve of the man, he knew that Cameron would take good care of her.  He was one of those rare men who meant what they said and kept their promises at all cost.  He’d never seen Jenny as happy as she had been the day the letter came, her face lighting up with joy and her hands shaking as she read and reread the message.  Cameron Brody had somehow made it to Scotland, cleared his name, and managed to save enough money to get the farm back on track and repay Alec for his indenture.  Alec knew it tore Jenny apart to say goodbye to everyone, but she had her life to live, and he had no right to stand in her way. 

Charles had said his goodbyes the night before.  He’d never grown as close to Jenny as Alec had, maybe because he was just a child when Rose ran off
, and could barely remember his sister, but Alec knew he’d miss Jenny.  She was the only link to their family; all of them gone now.   Thinking of family made him long to visit Finn and Abbie; sit Diana on his knee as he told her a story, and hold baby Edward in his arms.  He’d been only a few weeks old when they last saw him, but Edward would be nearly three months old now. Alec’s arms suddenly felt strangely empty as he thought of his grandson.

He was looking forward to seeing Ben and Nat as well.  The boys were both thriving, and looking almost the same age despite their four
-month age difference.  Alec had to admit that he had newfound respect for Susanna once he found out about Nat, but she was a wise woman, and had done the right thing.  Sam was happy and content with his wife and children, confident in the knowledge that he no longer had anything to hide that would destroy his well-ordered life.  He still grieved for Diana Littleton from time to time, but more so for Nat’s sake.  Her death had been sudden and brutal, but sadly, no one missed her much.   

“Val, what do you say we go visit Finn?” Alec asked, turning to Valerie with a big smile. 

“When?”

“
Today.”

“I thought you’d never ask
, but this time we’re bringing Tom.  It’s time he met his family, and I will never, ever, be parted from him again,” Valerie said, and saw the grin on Alec’s face.

“And another time-traveler is born,” Alec quipped as he hugged Valerie.  “Only this time, let me hold on to the device.”  Valerie just nodded into his chest so he couldn’t see her smile.