Shades of Gray (77 page)

“Good.”

“What do you want me to do? Vartra always found me, I didn’t ask him to come to me,” said Shaidan as they made their way down the short corridor to the air lock and opened it.

“We’re going to one of the briefing rooms first to meet with the Captain here. He’ll update us on where Vartra’s been seen, and we’ll go there for starters,” said Kaid as they emerged onto the ramp.

A black-clad escort was waiting for them. One of the commandos stepped forward and saluted them smartly.

“Commander Kaid, welcome to Kij’ik. Shaidan, welcome back. Captain Zaykkuh is waiting for you in the Officer Level Briefing room.”

“Hello, Shartoh,” said Shaidan, looking up at the female Prime.

“Hello,” she smiled, falling into step beside him. “How are you liking life on the planet?”

“Very much. I have my parents now, and my brothers and sisters. Did you know there’s wind down there? And sunsets and sunrises?”

She laughed. “Yes, I do. I lived there before coming to Kij’ik, you know. I’m glad we’re closer to home now, though. We get planet leave every other two weeks now.”

Kaid listened to them chatting as they made their way to the Briefing room, glad to hear the youngling behaving like a normal cub at last, and surprised at the obvious affection that the female commando had for him. It gave him food for thought.

 

Captain Zaykkuh stood up as they were ushered into the room. “Commander Kaid, Shaidan. Welcome to Kij’ik. I’m Captain Zaykkuh. Please, come sit down. Refreshments will be arriving shortly.”

Kaid, his hand on Shaidan’s shoulder, approached the far end of the long table where Zaykkuh stood. Accepting the other’s extended hand, he shook it, noticing that the Captain used only the right amount of pressure, no more, and filed that fact away. Obviously he was used to Sholans.

“Would you prefer our maush or c’shar or coffee?” he asked as Kaid pulled out a chair for Shaidan then pushed it in toward the table. “We have all three drinks here. Fruit juice for you, Shaidan?”

“Yes, please.”

“Maush will be fine,” said Kaid, sitting down.

Zaykkuh nodded to Shartoh who saluted and left.

“I’m very glad to see you here,” said Zaykkuh as he sat down. “Having a restless spirit walking around the Outpost is unsettling my crew. Not that any of us believe that the dead aren’t . . . dead.”

“Vartra isn’t exactly dead,” said Kaid. “He’s one of our Gods.”

Zaykkuh blinked at him in surprise. “I was told he was a dead relative of yours and Shaidan’s.”

“Not of mine. He’s Kusac and Shaidan’s relative.”

“Then how does he come to be a restless spirit?”

“It’s complicated,” said Kaid. “He lived during a very troubled time on Shola. It happened at the same time as your Fall. We call it the Cataclysm because a chunk of our moon hit our world, causing planetwide devastation. Vartra emerged as the leader who pulled all the survivors together and kept our civilization going. He was the founder of what Shola is today, in fact. When he died, his soul was taken by our Earth Goddess, and he joined them as one of our deities.”

“Your deities are that real?” There was disbelief on Zaykkuh’s face.

“So are yours, you just don’t know it yet,” said Kaid with a half smile. “In fact, though they will appear as Primes or Valtegans to you, they are the same as ours.”

“An interesting concept,” said Zaykkuh. “However, you will understand, I’m sure, that I would really appreciate it if you could take this Vartra with you when you leave. We children of Kezule haven’t had any religion in our upbringing, beyond giving the Emperor, King Zsurtul’s father, his due as a supposed God. This is all very alien to us.”

Kaid laughed. “This is new to us, too! It isn’t often a deity gets lost off our world.”

A gentle knock, then the door opened and a steward entered bearing a tray of drinks and pastries, which he set before them.

Zaykkuh passed them their drinks, taking one himself, and then gestured them to help themselves to the pastries. Shaidan looked to Kaid for a nod of assent then quickly grabbed one.

“Good to see the young one more relaxed,” said Zaykkuh. “I’m surprised Captain Aldatan didn’t come, though. He was always very protective of his son.”

“He’s otherwise occupied,” said Kaid, sending a silencing thought to Shaidan as he was about to explain why his father wasn’t there. “Besides, he is my son too, through marriage.”

Zaykkuh nodded. “Ah, I had forgotten that. How is the Captain?”

“Fine,” said Kaid shortly, sipping his drink. “Tell me where Vartra has been seen.”

“Mainly around where the Sholan temple was. I mean, still is, because we’ve had no need to dismantle it. I’m told that at first he was very transparent, but when I saw him late yesterday, he was certainly looking more . . . solid. He doesn’t seem to see us, or he ignores our attempts to communicate with him. Do you know why he should be here in the first place?”

“He came to speak to me,” said Shaidan around the pastry. “He couldn’t reach my father, so he came to me.”

“Why did he come to you?” asked the Captain.

Shaidan fell silent and concentrated on eating.

“Shaidan?” said Kaid.

“I can’t say. I promised,” the cub muttered, sitting back in his seat and trying to make himself seem small.

Kaid reached out and flicked an ear gently. “It’s all right, cub. No one will make you break your oath.” He looked back to the Captain. “Has Vartra been seen today?”

Zaykkuh shook his head. “Not yet. I’ll take you to where he was seen yesterday. He looked lost and confused.”

“I’ve no idea why he should be,” said Kaid, finishing his drink. “From all accounts, he seems to have been wandering about here for several months before this. Have you finished, Shaidan?”

“Yes, thank you, Pappa Kaid,” the cub said in a small voice.

“Shall we go?” asked Kaid. He wanted to get this over and done with. Too many awkward questions were being asked, and they had given him a lot to think about.

“Certainly,” said Zaykkuh, getting up.

 

The Captain took them down to the next level and along to the gym that had been set up as the Sholan temple, then, at Kaid’s request, left them there.

Kusac’s team had done a pretty good job, considering the lack of amenities and the fact that they’d not had any religious artifacts with them. He was pleased to see the gas flame there—it proved what Kusac had said about Kezule going out of his way to accommodate him and his people. And the small sculpture of Vartra—sure it was crude when compared to the polished ones turned out by the crafters on Shola, but it was damned good for a Brother with no real resources or tools. Without thinking, he made obeisance to the altar, sending out questing thoughts to see if he could sense the Entity, but he sensed nothing.

Shaidan found a spot on one of the prayer mats at the front and sat down. Kaid joined him and stilled his mind, absorbing the feel of the Outpost and its inhabitants. After a while, he called his attention back to the here and now to find Shaidan leaning against him.

Reaching out, he put an arm around the cub’s shoulders.
Do you know the Litanies yet, Shaidan?

Yes, Pappa taught me,
he replied.
I’ve been practicing them.

Shaidan frowned in concentration.
I can try. I know how to find Pappa’s mind.

Kaid sensed the image of Vartra forming in Shaidan’s mind; then the cub began to add on his impressions of the Entity. His concentration wavered a little, but Kaid mentally reached out to strengthen the image of Vartra, leaving Shaidan free to build up the sense of the Entity.

You’re doing fine. I couldn’t have done as well as you at your age,
sent Kaid encouragingly.
Can you sense Him?

No. He’s not here,
Shaidan replied.

He didn’t know how long they’d been sitting sending out their call when he was suddenly aware of another presence in the room.

“Oh! He’s here!” whispered Shaidan.

He opened his eyes and turned his head to look over his shoulder. There, by the door, stood an almost transparent Vartra.

“Who called me?” the Entity asked in a slightly querulous voice as He moved slowly into the center of the room.

You talk to Him, Shaidan,
sent Kaid, releasing the cub.
Don’t be afraid. He won’t harm you.

Scrambling to his feet, Shaidan turned around to face Vartra. “I did,” he said, as Kaid rose to his feet beside him.

Vartra stopped several feet away from them, His eye ridges meeting in a frown. “Do I know you? And by what right do you disturb me and call me to this place?”

“I’m Shaidan. You came to talk to me here, on Kij’ik.” There was only a slight wobble in his voice, Kaid noted with pride.

Tell Him you’re blood-kin and have the right to call Him,
he sent.
Say we’re on an orbiting space station, and we need Him to come with us to the planet below.

“I’m blood-kin,” began Shaidan, but stopped when Vartra held up His hand, commanding silence.

“I can hear him,” He snapped, moving closer still until He was within a couple of feet of them. “I’m not mind-deaf!!” He sniffed audibly in their direction, turning His head to take in each of their scents. “Yes, you’re blood-kin, he isn’t. Talk to me yourself!”

“Talk to Pappa Kaid,” said Shaidan, moving closer to Kaid and clutching at his arm. “He knows what to say, I don’t! You’re frightening the people here.”

“Am I?” Vartra grinned, showing his teeth. “Well, now. I wonder why that would be?”

“We can see through You. They think You’re a ghost!”

Obviously startled, Vartra lifted his hand up and stared at it. “What happened to me?” He whispered, a look of fear coming across His face as He lowered it again. “I can’t remember anything! Not even how I got here.”

“You came to speak to the cub and his father,” said Kaid, a wave of sympathy for Vartra sweeping over him. He knew what it was like to suddenly lose one’s past. Years of being used as the Entity’s messenger, given tasks that he had feared were beyond him at the time, were suddenly wiped out in the face of the other’s obvious mental torment.

“You gave me messages for Pappa and for the Doctor here,” said Shaidan, looking around from behind the comforting bulk of Kaid’s body. “Don’t You remember me?”

Distracted, Vartra looked down at the cub. “What?”

“You’ve forgotten me. You helped me think for myself, undo what that doctor did to me.” A look of pain briefly contorted the cub’s features, and Kaid could feel his hurt and the deep anger at what had been done to him and his siblings.

Obviously so did Vartra, for He knelt down beside Shaidan, holding His hand out to him. “Then for that, I’m glad, even if I don’t remember it,” he said gently.

Hesitantly, Shaidan reached out his other hand toward the Entity. As their fingers, then their hands touched, Kaid watched in amazement, as solidity seemed to flow from the cub into the Entity, giving Him form and mass.

Vartra’s eyes shut, and He inhaled sharply, gripping Shaidan’s hand more tightly as the child left the safety of Kaid to go to Him.

“You’re home now,” said Shaidan, spontaneously wrapping his other arm around the Entity’s neck in a hug. “My pappa, Kusac, my mamma, and Pappa Kaid will keep You safe. They’re Your family too!” he said fiercely.

Vartra laughed softly, but it was a laughter that spoke of pride in His own. “I know they will,” he said, returning the hug as he looked up at Kaid. The beginning of recognition came into his eyes. “Kaid? Is that you?”

“Yes, Lord,” said Kaid, bowing to Him. “You came here where Kusac and his son were, to help them, then You disappeared. Two days ago You suddenly reappeared, but You were . . . less than yourself. We don’t know what happened to You.”

“It seems,” He said, gathering Shaidan into His arms and standing up, “that my memories of my time here have been erased.”

“It certainly does seem that way,” said Kaid. “Ghyakulla is with us on K’oish’ik. The Primes have reinstated the worship of their own Earth Goddess. Here She’s known as La’shol, but they’re the same.”

“Then we’d best join them,” said Vartra grimly. With his right hand, he sketched a symbol in the air; afterward, Kaid swore that between one blink and the next, he saw it glow.

A warm summer breeze, laden with the scents of blossom—including nung flowers—wafted across them, and then a portal opened, showing the flickering image of the temple on K’oish’ik.

“Come,” said the Entity, stepping through it.

Thoughts of shuttles left behind, and Captains left bewildered, raced through Kaid’s mind; then, as he saw the portal begin to shrink, he leaped through it.

They have been told,
came Vartra’s thought as he landed hard on the flagged stone floor of the temple beside Shaidan, in front of a still surprised Conner.

“Vartra’s back, I take it,” the priest said after a moment.

Kaid looked around. There was no sign of Vartra.

“He called for Ghyakulla, and she returned us all home,” said Shaidan. There was a definite shake to his voice now as Kaid picked him up and settled him in against his hip as if he had been five years younger.

“Don’t worry, Shaidan,” said Kaid. “In our family, you’ll likely get more than used to the ways of the Entities.”