Shackled Lily (19 page)

I threw my penny in the water with a small splash. The wish was the same, as was the reality that it would never happen. I needed to pull myself together. The day was wearing on me and I cursed myself a little for not packing my little silver flask.

I didn’t realize I was staring off into space until Robbie touched my arm to get my attention. “Isadora? You still with me?”

I gave him a weak smile and nodded. He led me back up to the house and into the massive dining room where his and my family were waiting. Robbie brought me over to his mother for introductions. I had my mask firmly in place and performed to such a measure that even my mother would have been proud. Mrs. Marsh was not much more than a robot herself. She was still beautiful despite showing signs of aging, and looked as if she had some surgical help in that respect, but she was like a dead woman walking, hardly smiling or interacting. She looked more like a quiet accessory to Robbie’s father than an actual person. Watching her, I didn’t know whether to feel sorry for her or for Robbie, who had to live with two people who had the personality of a limp noodle. My dad certainly had his faults, but at least he was still full of life.

I felt my chest starting to constrict as the conversation waned on, and we had only made it through two courses. My father and Mr. Marsh were in deep discussion about some computer hardware
, and Anna was giving Mrs. Marsh a detailed explanation of the charity work she was involved in. I watched Junior. He seemed lost in his own little world, no doubt fully detached from the environment.

I must have looked as miserable as I felt because Robbie leaned over and whispered, “I’m not really hungry if you want to get out of here.”

I looked at him as though he offered me the world. He stood in response and walked over to his mother to whisper in her ear. She nodded and smiled. Then Robbie addressed my father. “Sir, would you mine if I steal Isadora away for a while?”

My father didn’t even try to hide his elation at the idea of Robbie and I spending more time together. “Sure, you kids go have fun.”

I was practically running out of the house as we found our way to the back yard. I didn’t say a word, just took off my shoes, sat on the edge and dipped my feet into the pool. The cold water made me gasp, but internally, I loved it. I had lost my edge tonight, unable to numb myself to my life. The water would help…it always helped.

Robbie sat down beside me, careful to stay far enough from the pool edge not to get any water on his clothes. I thought of Grant and how he put his feet in the water too, just to try and understand what I was feeling. Robbie did not.

“On a scale of one to ten, I’d say that was a twelve for one of the most boring dinner parties ever,” Robbie offered after an uncomfortable stretch of silence.

I turned to him, my chest still constricting from the walls that had continued to close in on me since I first read the words, “Power Couple.” I was practically pleading when I spoke. “Robbie, I need to get out of here and just do something crazy. Anything. I can’t handle another minute.”

Robbie stood and put out his hand. I took it and he pulled me up. My bare feet were on the pool deck, but I couldn’t feel anything as I followed him. He stopped by the outdoor bar and pulled out a bottle of tequila and guided me to a walkway that led us away from the house. With each step, I felt the walls start to recede, and just knowing I could have a drink soon eased my panic.

It was dark where he was leading me, so I moved up to hold on to his whole arm as we walked, not wanting to stumble around on my feet that were just starting to get some feeling back in them. Just as I thought it couldn’t get any darker, there was suddenly a faint light in front of us. We were out by the stables
, and I could smell the horses as we approached.

“You may want to put your shoes on now,” Robbie suggested as he opened the door. “Its not really a barefoot place.”

I did as he suggested thinking my high heels weren’t really that appropriate either, but oh well. The horses greeted us as he pulled open the large doors. I watched as he patted a few of them, talking as if they were long time friends. I held back. This wasn’t really a setting I was used to, and hadn’t really ever been around animals.

Robbie noticed my hesitation and laughed. “Did I actually find something you’re afraid of?”

I shot him a look at went right up to the horse and patted its head as it nodded up and down. “I’m not afraid of anything,” I answered after brushing my hands off.

Robbie smirked and continued to move deeper into the barn. In a room away from the horses, he finally stopped and sat down on a block of hay, patting the area next to him for me to take a seat. I moved without hesitation and took the bottle out of his hand as I sat. I screwed off the top and drank down the clear liquid as if I was parched in the desert. It immediately soothed me, burning off any emotion as it scorched my throat. When I was done, I handed it back to Robbie who also took a long swig. 

“You ever shoot a bow?” he asked after closing the bottle again.

“No, why, do you have one?”

Robbie stood up and flipped on a switch, lighting up the back wall and two large archery targets.

“May I put my dad’s face on one of those?” I asked standing. Robbie kept surprising me. I had truly never been so baffled by another person.

He laughed and then opened a chest to pull out a large bow and several arrows. “I don’t really keep pictures of your dad around, but it is great for blowing off steam.” I watched as Robbie held the bow with precision and then perfectly shot the arrow into the bullseye of the target.

I arched my eyebrow at him. “Impressive. Care to make it interesting?” I asked shaking the bottle in front of him.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Every time I hit the target at all, you have to take a drink. Every time you hit the bullseye, I have to take a drink. If we miss, it goes back to the other person.”

“You’re going to be taking a lot of drinks,” he warned me.

“Isn’t that the point?”

“Ok, but at least let me give you a little lesson.” I felt Robbie put his hand on my waist and move me in front of the target. He showed me how to hold the bow, pull the string and even how to use my breathing to help stabilize it. I couldn’t help but notice how close he was standing as he guided me through the motions.

I pulled back the bow, ready to take my aim when I heard him whisper in my ear, “You have to become completely in tune with your target before you strike.” There was something in his tone that sent a shiver down my spine and made my stomach flutter a little. I was still trying to decide if they were nervous flutters or something else when I heard him say, “now let go.”

The arrow went soaring through the air and completely missed the target. I scowled and demanded to do it again. He gave me another arrow, and I made sure to concentrate this time. I released. It wasn’t pretty, but it did hit the outside of the target.

“Drink up,” I demanded, feeling a little smug.

Robbie took the bottle and put it to his lips for a drink. His intensity was back and didn’t once take his eyes off me while he drank. I felt the butterflies again. It was the look in his eyes…the calm assurance that he could get anything he wanted, and I suddenly felt like the target.

He put down the bottle and took the bow and arrow. Seconds later, the arrow was in the bullseye
, and it was my turn. The liquid didn’t burn as bad this time, my throat still numb from the last drink, but I was secretly wishing for some limes.

We went back and forth like that through six more rounds. Robbie never faltered, hitting the bull
seye every time he picked up the bow. I was not so lucky and hit the target only two more times. I set down the bottle from my last shot and started to walk towards the bow again. The room shifted, and I reached out, feeling like I was about to fall.

I felt Robbie’s arms grab me to keep m
e steady. “You ok?” he asked in a voice that seemed concerned, but also showed signs that he was affected by how close we were now standing.

The room was still spinning, and I could feel my stomach lurch a little. “I think I just need to sit for second,” I whispered, relying solely on Robbie for balance at that point.

He walked us over to the block of hay, and I immediately put my head in my hands after we sat. I couldn’t get the room to stop and the more it spun, the more my stomach turned. I just needed to lay down for a minute and I’d be ok. I felt Robbie’s shirt next to my cheek and closed my eyes. Then the world went black…again.

17
. the blackout

Satin and silk surrounded me at every angle as I tried to pry my eyes open. A rich smell of flowers penetrated my senses and almost made my stomach turn as it combined with the fresh linen smell of the sheets covering me. I couldn’t seem to focus and was still trying to figure out where I was. The barn…that was all I remembered. Robbie. Every one of my senses went on alert as I realized I had been with him when I blacked out. My stomach turned as I felt around the bed, but there was no sign of anyone. Relief brought tears to my eyes, but it still didn’t explain where I was, or how I got there. Where was my father?

When my eyes were finally able to focus, I pulled back the covers to try and stand. Immediately, I noticed that my clothes were gone, including all of my under garments, and I was wearing a long white silk nightgown. The fear that always seemed to accompany Robbie started to work down my spine as I searched for anything I recognized in the room. There was nothing, no clothes, no shoes, and most importantly, no phone.

The room itself also held no familiarity. While beautiful with antique white furniture and soft silk drapes that covered the large windows, it looked more like a high-end hotel room than something anyone would live in. I walked over to the mirror that sat above an ornate white fireplace and examined myself. My hair was perfectly brushed and my makeup was gone, making me look younger and fresher than I ever did when I woke up the morning after I drank too much. It was obvious that someone not only undressed me, but also took great care to make sure I looked beautiful before I went to bed. I smelled my skin and realized that I had been bathed.

Just when I was about to start panicking, I heard a small rap at the door followed by one of Robbie’s housekeepers coming into the room.

“Ms. Summers, you’re awake. Very good. Mr. Marsh is waiting for you at the breakfast table,” she explained as she immediately started to tidy up the bed.

“Um, could you tell me where my stuff is?” I asked, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

“I’m sorry, miss, we got rid of your clothes. Mr. Marsh said they were ruined,” she explained looking a little worried.

I stood there trying to decide if I was more shocked or angry at the idea that Robbie would have the gall to get rid of my things. But since this poor girl was obviously not the one to blame, I gritted my teeth and tried to remain calm. “What about my purse?”

“I’m not sure, miss. I’ll check right away.” She then walked over to the large double doors on the opposite side of the room and opened them for me. “There are lots of beautiful clothes in here, miss. Please use whatever you need.”

I didn’t want to wear someone else’s clothes, I wanted my own. I also didn’t like the idea that I was put in a room that appeared to be the holding cell for Robbie’s conquests. I folded my arms across my chest and stared at the closet full of female clothes and shoes. “Does Robbie have women over here a lot?”

The housekeeper looked horrified and quickly shook her head. “Oh no, ma’am, you are the only girl I’ve ever seen here. Mr. Marsh is not like that.”

“Then who are all these clothes for?” I knew I was being nosey, but things were just getting weirder by the moment, and my patience was wearing thin.

“For you, miss,” she explained as if she didn’t understand why I would even ask that question. “Please, Mr. Marsh is waiting. There should be everything you need in the bathroom and I will check on your purse.” With those words, she practically ran out of the room. She must have sensed my frustration, which was exasperated by the pounding headache that had moved in once the shock wore off.

I stalked over to the closet and found it full of outfits already put together, all with the tags still on. Everything was sized perfectly to fit me and I noticed my hands shaking as I examined each one.

Since I wasn’t about to approach Robbie in the see through nightgown, I resigned myself to wear one of them, even though they were far more conservative than anything I’d normally buy. I found a new set of bra and panties in the lingerie drawer and put them on. Again, my exact size.

I slid on the cropped black Armani pants, buttoned up the white asymmetric jacket that was paired with it, and tried not to think about how creepy all of this was. In the bathroom I found an array of lotions, perfumes and makeup, all of which had never been used. I opened what I needed and finished getting ready before really examining myself in the mirror. It was me, but a completely different version. I put my hands on the vanity and tried to catch my breath. The walls were closing in, and I looked in the mirror again, staring face to face with a woman who looked just like my mother. It was a woman I swore I’d never be. I didn’t want this life. I didn’t want Robbie and his billions of dollars. Yet, here I was, wearing clothes that weren’t mine, staring into a face that was completely different than the one I stared at when I was still at Winsor.

Tears were dangerously close to the surface, but I managed to keep them at bay. Once controlled, I pulled out a pair of red heels and left the room. The hall was vast and went on in each direction so far that I had no idea which way to go. I turned to the right and hoped I would run into anything that looked familiar. Luckily, I found the stairs and slowly descended, clutching the rail for dear life. My headache was excruciating now and the dizziness was still coming in waves. The rail stabilized me until I reached the bottom and found my way to the dining area where we ate last night.

Robbie was already seated, reading through a stack of papers as he sipped his coffee. He matched the setting, looking just as extravagant in his layered sweater and blazer that probably cost more than most people’s monthly salaries. Nerves hit my stomach again, and I grabbed onto the door frame trying to maintain my balance. I searched my mind, attempting to remember anything about the night before. There was nothing…only the fear that Robbie and I may have taken our relationship to a level I certainly didn’t want.

He finally looked up and saw me there. His face lit up as a smile appeared. “You’re awake.” He stood and walked over to me, wrapped one arm around my waist and put the other on my face. Before I could protest, he pulled me in for a long, lingering kiss. I didn’t respond in any way, but Robbie either didn’t notice or didn’t care. Neither option set well with me.

“You look amazing. How are you feeling?” he asked when he finally pulled away.

“Like I’m going to throw up,” I answered honestly with a scowl, leaving out the part that he had more to do with that fact than the leftover tequila.

“You do look pale. Come and sit.” He guided me over to the chair next to his and before I was fully seated, one of his housekeepers had a green smoothie and three aspirins placed in front of me. I immediately took the aspirin and began to drink my smoothie while Robbie settled back in his chair.

It took me a few minutes, but finally it registered. “Wait. How did you know about my smoothies?” I asked.

Robbie looked back up from his paper and smiled at me, picking up the hand closest to him. He kissed my fingers before glancing back at me. “I’ve made it a point to learn all I can about you, Isadora.”

My stomach turned as I slowly pulled my hand away. I had to get out of here. “Do you know where my purse is? Or what happened with my father?”

Robbie didn’t seem the least bit affected by my mood. “Your father left last night, and your purse is on the chair where you left it.”

My eyes darted to the chair I had sat in last night and sure enough, the purse was right where I left it. I stood up immediately to go get it and checked my phone before I sat back down. I didn’t want Robbie reading my messages over my shoulder. There was nothing from my father, but Grant had texted me twice. The first was to find out if I was ok. He noticed I hadn’t come home with my father. The second was two hours later and made the butterflies in my stomach start to move with extreme agitation.

Grant:
I’m done.

I slowly put my phone in my purse and took my seat again.

“Everything ok?” Robbie asked with a smile, but his eyes had darkened again, and his voice had a new tension in it. 

“What happened last night?” I asked hesitantly. Part of me didn’t want to know.

Robbie looked almost amused, borderline sinister. “You don’t remember?”

“No.”

He stood up and moved behind me, setting his hands on my shoulders, massaging them a little. I felt his breath on my neck before his lips moved against it. “You were exquisite,” he whispered, continuing to move his lips up my jawline and to my ear. 

“What’s that mean, Robbie?” I asked, my voice getting high and shaky. “What exactly happened?” My entire body was shaking from both repulsion and fear. If it were anyone else, I would have stood up and given him a piece of my mind. But this was Mr. Marsh’s son, and if there was one rule in our house, the only real unbreakable rule, it was that I was to behave a certain way around Daddy’s business associates.

Robbie’s grip got tighter as I felt him move closer to me. “It was intimate in a way that went beyond anything physical. You may not remember, Isadora, but I certainly do.” He let go of my shoulders and sat back down, his emotionless smile returning.

I still didn’t know what he meant. “So, we didn’t sleep together?” I asked, needing a verbal confirmation from him.

He raised an eyebrow. “No. We did not.”

I put my head in my hands, so relieved I wanted to cry. “Did my father even check on me?” I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that he had just left me there. Did he not know how dangerous that was? Did he even care?

“I called his assistant and told him you would be staying with me, and that I would take you to class today,” he explained while he continued to look at his paper.

My head immediately jerked up. “You called Grant? What did you say?” 

Robbie noticed my reaction, and I saw his eyes darken again. “I didn’t mention you were drunk. I just said you decided to spend the night here and to let your dad know. He asked to speak to you, but I told him you were in the bath and couldn’t talk.” Everything Robbie said was factual, as if he was relaying a message with no feeling. I felt my palms start to sweat as I thought of Grant’s words. He thought I stayed intentionally and had Robbie call to tell him. Surely he knew better. I would never be so cruel.

“Robbie, I need to get home,” I said standing up, my balance wavering as soon as I did.

He was immediately at my side, stabilizing me. “We have class in thirty minutes. It won’t look good if you skip again, especially after being a late add on to our group.” There was no negotiation in Robbie’s voice. It was a tone I recognized from my father. The discussion was over.

He led me to the front door, keeping his arm firmly locked around my shoulder. He was a lot stronger than I had ever realized. Before getting in the back of his car, he pulled me in again for a long intense kiss, which I once again did not respond to. Robbie was living in his own world this morning, and I was a fixture trapped inside of it. I could feel my heart racing as the car drove
away. I just had to get through this class and get home. Then I would make it clear to my father that merger or not, I was never seeing Robbie Marsh again.

Robbie continued to kiss my neck and rub my leg the entire drive despite my protests. It was as if he wasn’t hearing anything I had to say.

“Robbie, seriously, you need to stop,” I urged pushing him off of me again.

“I’m sorry. You just look so gorgeous in that outfit and smell so amazing this morning,” he explained moving back but still not taking his hand off me.

I was wearing the perfume that was in the bathroom and made a mental note that I would never buy a similar fragrance. The last thing I wanted was to be more attractive to Robbie. “Yeah, about the outfit. I’ll have it cleaned and will get it back to you.”

“Nonsense,” he said, dismissing my words. “It belongs to you now.”

I started to protest, but realized it would do no good, so I just held my tongue and looked out the window until I saw the campus approach. It was the first time I actually felt relieved to be at school.

The driver stopped and then got out to open our door. Robbie went first and then offered his hand to help me out. I took it, but immediately regretted doing so, because he pulled me into a crushing embrace the minute I was out of the car and kissed me in front of a mass of people. I stared at him in shock when he released me, but he only smiled and began walking us towards our class, my hand still held captive by his. I tried to pull it away, but his grip tightened, almost cutting off my circulation.

Fury consumed me, and I stopped in my tracks, refusing to go any further. Robbie leaned into me with a fake smile plastered on his face. “What are you doing?” he whispered.

I stared him fully in the eye, my green eyes penetrating his so there was no confusion. “If you don’t stop touching me, I will forget everything my father has taught me about social etiquette.” It was not an idle threat as I was two seconds away from screaming at the top of my lungs.

Robbie let go of my hand and smirked. “My you are testy in the mornings. I’ll have to remember that.”

My hand itched to slap his face, but I kept it locked beside me as I stormed towards class not caring that I had left him standing there. I was already seated when he joined the group, his charm and charisma garnering admiring glances from the ladies around us. He sat next to me and wrapped his arm around the back of my chair, careful not to touch me in the process. To anyone else, it looked natural and intimate, but to me, it was a clear gesture of possessiveness. He wanted everyone in class to know we were together, and I just wanted to scream that we weren’t.