Shackled Lily (8 page)

“I have English 282 in Ericson Hall,” I answered, staring a little too long into his soft brown eyes.

“I’m heading that way too. Want to walk together?”

“Sure,” I answered with a smile. He may not be a guy I’d normally hang out with, but he certainly was eye candy and would keep me from getting lost as I searched for my building.

Rusty was definitely a gentleman, opening every door for me and taking me directly to my classroom. His large frame dwarfed mine, magnified by the cowboy boots he wore.

“So are you going to this party tonight?” I asked as we stood outside the door to my class.

“I hadn’t planned to, but I may reconsider. Are you going to be there?” he asked with a shy smile.

“Of course! I’ll look for you, maybe even save you a dance,” I answered flirtatiously before waving at him and bouncing away into the class. I watched as he put his hands in his pockets and walked away. I finally realized why I liked him so much. He reminded me of Danny, the sweet boy from my apartment building. We hung out for a few weeks until he ruined it by declaring his love for me. I shook my head as I remembered the drama. I thought of Rusty’s demeanor and realized I’d crush him in two weeks. Nope, I’d need to steer clear of that one.

I got myself settled and glanced down at the syllabus I had grabbed on my way in. My dad had all the books ready for me when I got home, so I hadn’t actually looked at any of them. To my chagrin, I discovered this was a Shakespeare class.  Even worse, the dark haired stalker from my business class walked in ten minutes after me and took the seat right behind me. He made a point to ignore me, but I was pretty sure it was just another tactic to get my attention. I slouched in my chair as the TA went on and on about the
class. Our first assignment was an oral presentation of one of Shakespeare’s monologues. Good grief. I was going to
kill
my dad!

7
. party central

“Really Dad, Shakespeare? Are you trying to torture me?” I yelled as I stormed into his office.

He looked up from his computer and grinned. “What? Shakespeare’s great, honey. It’s full of complex comedies and heart-breaking tragedies. It should be right up your alley.”

I ignored the obvious meaning behind his words and slumped down into the chair across from my dad, pouting. “I want to go see Mom for a while tonight,” I announced. Truth was I had no intention of speaking to my mother, who had tried to call me at least three times a day since I got here, but I needed an alibi for the party tonight.

“That would be good; she’s been worried about you.”

“How would you know?” I asked rudely. My father and mother hardly ever spoke.

“Issy, your mother and I have talked every day since your accident. You should be happy. You always did want us to get along.”

I felt rage crush my chest. “Whatever you are doing, you need to
stop
it,” I ordered. “She is no match for you, and you know it! Just leave her alone and let her get on with her life.”

My father looked at me like a five year old having a temper tantrum. “Really Issy, you are being overdramatic. Your mother and I have been friends for years.”

I got up from the chair and stormed out without a word. So that’s how he did it. He seduced her, made her believe she could trust him again. I felt the bile in my throat as I thought of my mom sitting on the phone, talking with my dad, hanging on his every word. She had never gotten over him. Eight months from now when she was no longer useful, it would end, and she would be heartbroken all over again. I wanted to hate her, but I just pitied her. Stupid woman.

Five hours later, I was ready to go. I had washed the purple out of my hair and just let my thick raven locks lay naturally down my back. I also settled on a pair of jeans, heels, and hid my red strapless bustier top with a fitted black jacket. My father would never suspect a night out in this outfit.

I had called my mom and somehow got through enough of her whining to tell her I had a study group tonight and wouldn’t be able to make it. My father wouldn’t be any wiser until tomorrow. 

Grant was the only one home when I went to say my goodbyes. He took one look at me and stood up. “Wow, you look amazing.”

My stomach betrayed me again, doing somersaults as his voice penetrated my ears. “Where’s my dad?” I asked looking bored. I didn’t want to give my father any reason to call my mom looking for me.

“He’s out with Anna tonight. Some gallery opening in town.” Grant was speaking matter-of-factly, but never once took his eyes off me. I looked around the room, annoyed, until I noticed he was right in front of me, running his fingers through my hair. “Seriously, Issy, I haven’t seen your hair this color in so long I forgot what it looked like.”

I took his hand off my head, but he held on to it, and wrapped his other hand around my back, trapping me next to him. I started to feel lightheaded as his breath neared my ear. “Tell me you don’t feel it,” he whispered, sending waves of adrenaline down my body.

He pulled back enough to look me in my eyes which I knew for certain were clouded over with desire. “It doesn’t matter, it’s never going to happen,” I answered softly, while my body language said something completely different. 

He put his forehead to mine and let out a heavy sigh. “You haunt me, Issy. Your eyes, your smile, the way you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention, that perfect day…it all haunts me. Just tell me you don’t feel it, please, so I can finally let you go.” His voice felt desperate and so full of pain that I couldn’t be mean to him, even though I knew I needed to be.

I reached up to touch his soft cheek. “I’m never going to be what you need or deserve. I’m unfixable, Grant, even by you.”

“I don’t want to fix you, Issy. I just want to complete you…the way you complete me.”

I felt the tears spring to my eyes and knew I had to get out of there, fast. His words were too perfect, too enticing. I wanted things with him that defied every promise I ever made to myself. But my body denied my request to flee and instead leaned up to kiss him unashamedly.

He responded, but not with the passionate fury that he had last time. This time it was pure intimacy, so soft and deliberate that my knees went weak. He took his time as if he was memorizing every contour of my mouth, and I let him, even though I felt the walls around my frozen heart crack a little.

When we finally parted, his eyes were all I could see, and I knew they reflected the same level of love that mine did. I wasn’t even attempting to hide it this time.

“Stay here with me,” he begged as he caressed my cheek, and I wanted to. I wanted to so badly that my feet felt frozen to the floor. But one night would turn into two and before we knew it, I would hurt him or he would hurt me. It was inevitable. Love was for the weak hearted, like my mother, not for me.

I found my composure and stiffened under his touch. He let go of me almost immediately and shook his head. “You’re not even out the door yet, and you’re already running,” he accused, his caramel eyes darkening with frustration. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Of course you’re not,” I said curtly. “Tell my dad to call if he needs anything.” I turned and fled to my car. He didn’t come after me or even text me this time. He just let me go and part of me wished he hadn’t—the part I had every intention of re-burying the minute I got to this party.   

The party was all it had been promised to be, and the mass of people made me even more grateful I had parked at Candace’s house and rode with her and Reggie. They had freshman carding us at the door. I found the most nervous one and seductively placed my hand on his chest, leaning in to him.

“You wouldn’t want to scar this soft hand with that red stamp, would you?” I purred as I watched him take a big gulp. “I don’t have a wristband, so no one will serve me anyway.”

He nodded shyly, letting me go through without the dreaded “under 21” stamp. I kept his eyes locked with mine until I had tucked one of the wristbands into my pocket. I rolled my eyes as I put on the band of freedom. This was getting almost too easy.  

I waved at Candace who was already on the dance floor and pointed to the bar, before heading in that direction.

“What can I get for you,” the bartender asked while I was digging in my small purse for some cash.

“Long Island Iced Tea,” I ordered without looking up. When I finally did, I looked right into the ice blue eyes of my stalker from class who was grinning with pleasure.

“Do you believe in fate, green eyes?” he asked as he leaned his forearms on the bar.

I matched his stance, bringing our faces close together. “If I say yes, is this one on the house?”

“Baby, you say yes, and everything you want is on the house.”

I leaned in a little closer before I popped the twenty-dollar bill right between our faces.

He snatched it out of my hand and raised his pierced eyebrow. “Tease,” he said with a grin and started making my drink. Before handing me back my change and my drink, he looked sternly at me. “Don’t take a drink from any of these guys here, you hear me? Only me, you got it?”

I nodded at his unspoken warning, thinking maybe he wasn’t as bad as I originally thought, and headed to the dance floor to join Candace. Reggie was sitting at a table looking as bored as he usually did, and I smiled thinking Candace must have had to drag him to this thing. She already had a glimmer of perspiration on her face when I joined her. In minutes, I had finished my drink and just let the music take me. I had been a dancer at one point, even had a few trophies to show for it, but it all stopped when my heart went dead. On the dance floor, though, I started to feel a little alive. The extra shot my bartender had slipped in my drink wasn’t hurting things either. 

Several songs later, Candace grabbed my hand saying she needed a break. We giggled as we maneuvered through the crowd to Reggie’s table. Rusty must have joined him at some point because he stood when we approached and gave me
a shy, “hi.”

I noticed him concentrating very hard on keeping eye contact with me while avoiding looking at the cleavage I knew my bustier created. Candace fell down exhausted on the chair next to Reggie and I excused myself for a moment, not really offering where I was off to. I headed straight to my dark haired bartender, who had my refill waiting for me when I approached.

“What’s your name?” I asked loudly when he waved off my cash.

“Jason,” he yelled back over the music. “Yours?”

I answered with a smile and a wink, leaving him to chuckle and shake his head. I found my way back to the table where Rusty stood up again when I approached. There was such a thing as being too nice, I decided.

We sat around getting to know each other as I sipped on my drink. Everyone else at the table had water or a coke, and I started to feel grateful I picked a drink that could be concealed. I watched all of them as we chatted. I had never had sober friends before and was surprised how much fun they were having just hanging out and dancing.

Rusty was especially funny and Candace was right about how the girls reacted to him. I lost count of how many came up to our table with the sole purpose of flirting with him. He was always nice to them, but would ease away when they would drape an arm over him or try and sit in his lap. I also noticed he never stood for any of them, a fact that both intrigued and concerned me a little.

“You’ve got quite a fan club,” I teased after he brushed another girl off of him.

“Sorry about that. It seems the longer I stay single, the more determined they are to get my attention. It’s gotten a little out of hand,” he explained apologetically.

“So what’s driving you to remain solo?” I was curious because he seemed more like the type to be serially monogamous.

“Just haven’t met the right girl yet,” he admitted.

“Really? Cause it seems you make that assessment pretty quickly.”

He smiled at me, warm and genuine, and shrugged. “Maybe. But most of these girls here I’ve known for a while. Ever heard of football groupies?”

I laughed and nodded in understanding. He laughed too, exposing his dimples which made him even more handsome, if that was possible.

“I like your hair, by the way,” he said nonchalantly. “Not that I didn’t like the purple, or anything.”

“Thanks,” I answered with a grin. “You’ll probably see me sporting a whole lot more colors before the end of the semester. I never stick to any one thing very long.” I was hoping he’d get the hint and realize that we were a less than suitable match, but as the night went on, I could tell his interest wasn’t waning.

I finished my second drink, and while I was definitely feeling buzzed, I wanted more. I zigzagged back to Jason who once again had my drink ready for me. Before he handed it off, though, he leaned in to whisper in my ear. “That guy’s got two point four kids and a white picket fence written all over him.”

“Are you spying on me?”

“Call it observing,” he answered with a grin before locking his eyes with mine. They were stunning eyes, so light blue that they almost looked silver. I prayed for butterflies, anything that would make me forget Grant, but there was nothing…as usual. “He doesn’t seem much like your type.”

“You don’t know my type,” I replied flatly as I reached for my glass. “In fact, you don’t know me at all.”

“A fact I’d like to remedy,” he continued, refusing to let go of my drink, all while keeping my eyes captive. “Maybe we could start with a name?”

I shrugged and shot him my most playful smile which successfully convinced him to finally let me have the glass we were both holding. “Issy,” I yelled over my shoulder as I walked away. I watched him grab his heart like he was having an attack and fall backwards. I laughed all the way back to the table and asked Candace if she was ready to hit the dance floor again. Thankfully, she was, because all I could see now when I looked at Rusty was a white picket fence which was starting to look very much like a prison. 

Reggie ended our evening at one, declaring we had class in the morning. This was probably a good thing because I was completely drunk by that time. Jason had kept me refilled all night, and Rusty’s constant attention had kept me drinking. I used all the available concentration I could to walk in a straight line out to the car, accepting Rusty’s arm when he offered it. I cringed internally when I saw him smile and wondered why of all the women around him that he would choose me. Thankfully, he didn’t try and kiss me. I would have to be very careful how I played this one. Reggie and Candace were too valuable to lose because I blew off their friend.

We were halfway back to Candace’s house before they finally realized that I had been drinking. The world was going dark as I got comfortable in
the back seat, laying my head down on the soft upholstery. I felt my stomach turn a little, but willed it back vowing I would not get sick in their car.

“Regg, I think Issy’s drunk.” I heard Candace say in a hushed tone.

“What?” he asked annoyed, and I heard his chair shift as if he was turning to look at me. “I knew I should have steered clear that first class, but no, I just had to butt in.”