Shackled Lily (28 page)

“Grant’s been staying at Jake’s. A
re you aware of that?”

“I knew he went there, but I didn’t know he stayed. I lied to Jake if that’s what you are asking.” My mask was getting harder and harder to secure as I felt a
n unspoken threat with each one of my father’s words.

“Seems odd, is all, that Grant is at Winsor, and suddenly you and Avery are chummy again. If you are using her to funnel information back to Grant, let me assure you, it’s a stupid move.”

My mouth flew open as a gaped at my father. “I would never put Avery in the middle of this. She has no idea what is going on.”

My father watched me closely, trying to determine if I was lying or not. Finally he sat back a little, but still stared intently at me.
“Kaitlyn, I want you to realize something. If you run, I will find you. I have unlimited resources and technology.” 

I felt my armor start to crumble as I said the words,
God is in control
over and over in my head. “I haven’t had any contact with Grant since you dragged him out of here,” I assured him, trying to appear unaffected by his comment.

“Good,” he said patting his legs with is hands. He stood abruptly and strode back to the door, his demeanor as confident as it was when he walked in. “Avery’s on an alumni scholarship, isn’t she? Huh. Nice to know my money is going to a good cause. Anyway, dinner is at seven sharp. Your fiancé will be joining us, so you might want to dress a little nicer than that.” Then the door shut
, and I fell to my knees in tears. If God really was more powerful than my father, I needed His help desperately.

6:45 came quicker than I wanted it to, but I descended the stairs anyway, trying to keep my hands from shaking and my eyes as
empty as they had been since the day I watched Grant getting dragged out of my room. Robbie had been the picture of control since our engagement and watched me mercilessly. Part of me wished for the return of the love struck guy he had been before. This version of him was chilling.

Robbie was already in the living room with my father when I approached. I had changed as my father requested into a casual gray and black baby doll dress that came just to my knees. Robbie’s eyes lit up when he saw me and kissed me hello before whispering that I looked beautiful. It was the same greeting I had received every night this week. The only difference was this time he lingered a little longer, staring into my eyes until I finally turned away.

The dinner went just as all the others had. My father and Robbie talked business while Anna and I silently listened. Every once and a while, I would wink over at Junior, making him snicker silently as he ate. It made me smile, another thing that didn’t go unnoticed by Robbie.

Dinner ended
, and Robbie put his hand on my leg, indicating he wanted me to stay seated as my father and Anna excused themselves, Junior following in tow.

I watched as they left the room and felt butterflies fill my stomach again. The continuous fear I had around Robbie just felt magnified tonight knowing I was so close to escaping.

“Let’s take a walk,” he offered as he stood.

I nodded and put my napkin on my plate, trying to keep my eyes away from his as I scrambled to get my mask firmly back in place. He led me out the back door and down the porch to the pier. I stopped walking, not wanting to go any further. The sand and pier were mine…and Grant’s. I didn’t want Robbie anywhere near it.

“Can we just sit out here?” I asked, noting the seating area around us.

Robbie positioned himself to where he stood right in front of me, his body so close, I could feel his warm breath on my skin. He leaned in and ran his lips gently over my cheeks and then onto my neck. I felt his hand as it moved up my arm and settled on my neck as well. He wrapped it around me, his fingers caressing the bones in the back of my neck as he ran his thumb over my throat. I felt his lips move across my face again as he made his way to the opposite side of my neck and then to my ear.

“That spark in your eyes, Isadora, is irresistible. If I thought for one moment it was for me, I’d be putty in your hands.” He quit talking just for a second so he could kiss down the side of my neck, his hand never leaving its threatening position around my neck. “But since neither one of us are stupid, maybe you’d like to tell me what’s going on.” Robbie pulled his head back, his eyes dangerously dark as his hand tightened around my neck.

Fear surged through me as I met his demanding stare. “I spent the day with my brother. It was the first time we’ve ever really spoken, and I guess I enjoyed it,” I answered, hoping the partial truth would appease him.

His eyes searched mine. “And what drove this sudden shift in relationship?”

“I’m moving to your estate tomorrow, Robbie. I guess in my own way, I was saying goodbye.”

Robbie’s eyes brightened with the mention of tomorrow, and I noticed how his grip loosened, but I could still feel my body shaking. He slid his hand from my throat and took off his jacket to wrap it around me before pulling me close to him. It was the closest our bodies had been since the day he proposed.

“One day, Isadora, those eyes will light up for me. In time, you will learn to love me,” he whispered, his voice showing its first hint of vulnerability.

I allowed my arms to respond, but just enough to rest them at his sides. Any more would be a warning sign to him. “I hope so,” I replied, letting tears fill my eyes for affect.

He tipped up my chin and wiped the tears away before using his other hand to caress my cheek. His eyes were sincere as he leaned in to kiss me, giving me more of himself than he had in days. I hesitated at first, but then kissed him back for just a moment before turning my head away from him.

He smiled, satisfied at my response or lack of it, I guess, and led us back in the house. He stayed for a movie, forcing me to cuddle up next to him on the couch as we watched it. He didn’t kiss me again, but certainly explored every contour of my hip and leg as we watched. Periodically, he would slip his fingers up under the hemline of my dress, but always seemed to stop himself from going any further.

My mind was constantly running, calculating every touch, every response and every look that I gave him. Tonight’s performance had to be flawless.

The movie finished and he stood to leave, offering me his hand in the process. I followed him out to the foyer as he put his jacket back on to leave.

“I added a little extra security for tonight, so if you need anything, just let Eric know,” he said as he pulled me towards him. I knew exactly what that meant. He was watching me. I had played my part perfect tonight, but it didn’t matter
. Robbie wasn’t taking any chances.

I kept the disappointment from flooding my face. His eyes shifted as he embraced me. I could see the longing in there, the hunger I knew he felt and had resisted for days. “Tomorrow,” he whispered before kissing me one more time. His eyes told me to respond, and I did, playing my role as precisely as I had for days. He walked out without another word, and I stood watching the front door and wondering how I ever could have thought I’d be free.

Grant’s words filled my head,
Your father is smart, Issy, but so are you. You escaped once. You can do it again.

I glanced towards the kitchen and thought of Rosa’s words,
God is in control. What can man do to me?

Filled with resolve once more, I turned and walked up the stairs, careful not to reset the alarm before I did so.

The next five hours were the worst of my life as anticipation, fear, and excitement ripped through my stomach. I was dressed head to toe in black and put my hair up in a navy baseball cap to hide my appearance when necessary. The cap had a large white symbol on the front, which I had covered in a black sharpie earlier.  It was three in the morning before I made my move, certain everyone else in the house was fast asleep. I had walked up and down the stairs five times this afternoon and knew exactly where to step to avoid any noise.

My descent was successful, but I kept my breath held as I moved towards the back door. I could see several of Robbie’s men parked out front and prayed there was no one around back. I slipped out the door, and managed to shut it without a sound and moved as quickly as I could to the pier before jumping down th
e other side of it. No one ever used this side of our property line. It was covered in sea grass up to my waist, and I cringed a little knowing it was too dark to see any creepy crawlies that might be in there. I pulled my backpack out that I had hid under the deck earlier and slipped it on my back. I packed light, bringing only copies of the letters for Grant, the original forgery note, a change of clothes, and the break up letter for Robbie I was going to leak to the press. The actual one was much shorter and simply read, “Go To Hell!” with my ring sitting on top. My dad’s letter was pretty similar except it included a copy of the note John had sent with a reminder that contracts were void when one party faulted. I smiled to myself as I thought of his face when he read my words, “Another thing I picked up in that business class of mine.”

I stopped my mental pat on the back and inched toward the path I had made earlier in the day. I got on my hands and knees, wincing as I did so because this type of thing was not up my alley, and crawled through the tall grass to our neighbor’s property line. When I was sure I was out of view from our house, I moved toward the sand and took off in a sprint. Unlike our other neighbors who had built a brick fortress around their property line, most of the people on our street kept the beach clear
, and I easily navigated the five houses necessary to get to Ben’s house.

His house was completely dark as I approached it, grateful that his parents were more likely to be out of town than home. They only really used this house in the summer. I slipped through his yard unnoticed and navigated through his security gate, so grateful that they hadn’t changed the code since we dated. The taxi I had set up was waiting around the corner and I slipped in the back.

“Where to?” the man asked looking at me through his rearview mirror. I kept my head lowered to especially hide my eyes which would make me distinguishable to anyone who questioned him, and gave him the address.

“I want to take the long way around the lake,” I directed, knowing it would keep us from driving in front of my house.

“It’s your dime, lady,” was all he said before putting the car in drive.

Forty-five minutes later, we were pulling in front of the house number I gave him. I handed him my fare and told him not to bother waiting on me to go inside. He obliged and took off, never noticing that I had no intention of going in the house in front of me. I walked the three more blocks I needed to before getting to my final destination.

Candace lived with her parents, but had her own apartment over their garage. I walked up the steps and knocked on the door, my adrenaline being the only thing keeping me from a complete meltdown at this point.

I saw a light turn on and then the locks turn. “Issy?” she said sleepily. “What are you doing here?”

I looked up at her, unable to keep it together any longer and just let the tears flow. “I had no where else to go.”

Candace pulled me in her apartment and shut the door, embracing me in the process. As promised, she didn’t ask any questions, just made up the couch for me. I closed my eyes that night, but hardly slept. Only time would tell if my escape had worked, or if like everything else, it was just an illusion.

24. Desperation

GRANT

I woke up in another drunken haze as I had the last four mornings since Issy tore my heart out. Today was her birthday. I threw off the covers and stood, stretching the muscles that hadn’t been used in days. Everything ached, my head, my back, my heart…everything. Rubbing my temples, I slowly made my way to the bathroom. Jake had let me stay in his guest room all while supplying me with an unhealthy amount of booze. I knew I shouldn’t be here, behaving this way, but every time I thought of that day, the anger and bitterness hit with such force it took my breath away.

I had sat hopeful on the couch as Jake spoke to her on the phone, praying fervently for God to intervene and get her out of there. I was sure Jake would help, that between the two of us, we could beat her father and free her. He had barely closed his bedroom door when I stood and started badgering him. “What did she say?”

Jake just shook his head and tossed his phone onto the chair. “Sorry man. Issy is fickle. She always has been.” I watched him walk into the kitchen and pour us each a shot of whiskey.

“Is that all?” I yelled. “Jake, her father is selling her to this man, and you are pouring a drink? What is wrong with you?” I refused to believe what he was saying. I knew Issy. She didn’t want Robbie.

“Listen, I know my cousin, ok, a whole lot better than you do. She wants this, or at least she does today. Who knows, she’ll probably change her mind again tomorrow.”

I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed the counter, doing everything in my power to get the rage in my stomach under control. This couldn’t be happening. Not again. “She’s lying,” I insisted.  

Jake just pushed the drink towards me. “She said you wanted to run away together, that you had some hero complex when it came to her. I know you love her. You’re not the first, and you certainly won’t be the last man to fall under her spell. There’s a trail lining Winsor.”

I stared at him, and tried to ease the pain consuming me. His eyes were so much like hers that I had to turn away from him. “It’s different with me,” I whispered, doubt already starting to work its way into my heart. She had run away from me so many times, turned to other men for escape. Her only promise to me was heartache and disappointment.

“I’m sure she made you feel that way. I even thought she cared for a while. But the truth is, Issy doesn’t fall in love. She never has, and she never will. I have no doubt she cared about you, but…” Jake quit talking and took his shot without me. I could tell he didn’t want to be the one to pass her message on to me.

“But what?” I yelled. It sounded more like a growl, even to me, but I was dangerously on the edge of
losing control.

“She lost interest the minute you asked her to run away with you. I’m sorry, man. Having a future with you was never the plan.”

The autopilot started at that moment. I sank down on the bar stool and took the shot Jake had offered me. It was the first of many, and now I was having a hard time even looking at my face in the mirror. I splashed water on my face and stared at the broken man in front of me. What was I doing?

I stumbled back to my bed and pulled out my phone, texting Issy for the hundredth time.

Me: Happy Birthday. Please talk to me.

Issy:
Message failure -- blocked by recipient.

I stared at the words, having seen them so many times I had them memorized. Instead of throwing my phone across the room as I normally did, I dialed a different number.

“Pastor Boyd’s office, may I help you?” his assistant answered.

“Hi Janice. This is Grant. Is Pastor Boyd available? I really need to talk to him.” She must have sensed the desperation in my voice because seconds later the phone was ringing again.

“Grant, how are you?” he answered, sounding as cheerful as always.

I started crying before I could speak. It was ridiculous. I never cried, but guilt and shame hit with such intensity, I felt powerless. He didn’t say a word, just let me pull myself together. “I’ve been better,” I finally said.

“What’s going on?” he asked softly.

I spared him the messy details and just got to the point. “I’m angry at God. I’m so angry; I can hardly stand it. In a matter of days, I lost everything that was important to me. My future is gone, and all I feel is this intense bitterness because I don’t understand why. I was doing everything I was supposed to.” I threw my pillow across the room as I spoke the last words, the anger starting to billow up in my stomach again.

“Grant, you are experiencing what every Christian will at some point in their life. What you are feeling is normal and even valid. But you have to make a choice here. Either you can continue to shake your fists at God and ask why, knowing full well there will never be an answer that satisfies you. Or, you can ask the more important question…Who? There is an answer for that one, and it’s all over the bible. Focus on the Who, Grant, and the why will start to fade away.”

I let out a heavy sigh, knowing he was right. I hadn’t touched my bible in days, so it was no wonder my questions had remained unanswered. When I didn’t say anything, Pastor Boyd continued, “May I pray with you?”

“Sure,” I answered. “That would be good.”

His prayer made me cry again, but also made me feel empowered for the first time in days. I could feel God’s forgiveness flow through me as my heart recognized how sorry I was for my behavior. I thanked him and promised to come see him when I was back in town. I didn’t know when that would be; there were things I needed to do first.

Jake was already dressed for the office when I emerged from my room, duffle bag in hand. It was the bag I had packed for Issy’s and my escape. I pushed the thought out of my head and made my way over to the coffee.

“He lives,” Jake stated with a smirk. “I don’t think I’ve seen you upright in four days.

Embarrassment ripped through my stomach. I was probably the only Christian influence in Jake’s life, and here I was acting like an idiot right in front of him. “Not my finest hours, that’s for sure. I’m really sorry you had to see me like that.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve been there.” He downed the last of his coffee and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair. “You headed out?”

“Yeah, I’ve been here long enough. I’m headed to New York for a while. I’ve got a business prospect I need to run down.”

Jake looked interested as he put on his suit coat. “No kidding. Anything I should know about? I’m always looking for new companies to invest in.”

I chuckled to myself. He was just like every other stockbroker I knew. “Not yet, but if something comes of it, you’ll be the first to know.”

Jake was walking over to shake my hand when a pounding at his door stopped him.

“Who’d you tick off this early in the morning,” I asked with a smirk. “I haven’t seen any ladies here in days.”

“Ha ha,” Jake deadpanned as he walked towards the door. The pounding was relentless. He looked through the peephole in
the door, and I watched his entire body go rigid. “What does he want?” Jake muttered, barely loud enough for me to hear.

The door swung open and in stepped Issy’s father, tossing Jake to the side as he pushed his way into the condo. “Where is she?” he demanded, his face matching the fury of his words.

I froze in place, a million thoughts filling my mind. She had run. All this time, I was here, wasting away, drowning my sorrows in a worthless resource while she was fighting to escape. I cursed myself as I recognized how much I had failed her. The self-loathing tried to take over, but I stopped it. Focusing on the past would do no good. I had to find her.

“What are you talking about?” Jake demanded, slamming the door.

Issy’s father didn’t say a word, just started tearing though the place looking for her. I could see the rage on Jake’s face as he watched her father violate his condo. Mr. Summers finally gave up searching when he saw me in the kitchen. Within seconds, I felt his hands on my shirt as he threw me up against the fridge, causing magnets and papers to crash to the ground.

“Where is she?” he screamed. His desperation made me smile. She had really gotten away this time.

“So she finally got away from you?” I asked smugly, hating the man in front of me. “It’s about time.” My face hid the erratic beating of my heart as I wondered the same thing. Where would she have gone?

Jake stood next to us in the kitchen, his face a mix of anger and confusion. “What is he talking about, Grant?”

I pushed Mr. Summers off of me and straightened my shirt before meeting Jake’s eye. “I was telling the truth, Jake. It looks like Issy found a way to escape without our help. She never wanted that idiot.” I was disgusted at myself, disgusted at Jake. We had completely failed her.

Jake’s reaction was immediate and explosive. He lunged at her father, taking his massive frame to the floor. I saw the first fist fly and barely made it out of the way. Jake had completely lost control and was cursing and beating Issy’s father until I
was finally able to pull him off the bleeding man. Shaking uncontrollably, Jake fought my hold as Andrew Summers found his footing and stood up.

“You are both dead men if I find out you had anything to do with her disappearance,” he threatened through bloody teeth and stalked out of the apartment. I stared at him in confidence, no longer intimidated by the man. I may have failed her once, but I would never again.

I let go of Jake, but he fell right to his knees. He was struggling for air, and I quickly realized he was having some kind of anxiety attack.

“Jake,” I yelled as
I kneeled in front of him and gripped his shoulders to make him look at me. “This wont help her, you hear me? You have to breathe. Ok?” I showed him how to breathe, reminding him over and over that Issy needed him to be strong right now.

His eyes were wide with fear, but he nodded and slowly his breathing returned to a normal cadence. I backed away when he started to stand, and watched as he held onto the back of the couch. “You have to find her,” he whispered, still trying to get his body under control. “She can’t be alone. It messes with her head.”

“I will, I promise.” I grabbed my bag and walked towards the door. Jake still hadn’t moved. I closed the door without saying another word to him. I couldn’t even begin to offer him hope when fear was practically crippling me too. I didn’t even know where to start. Images of her in my bathtub trying to give up penetrated my mind, but I pushed them away. I had to believe she would be strong.

I started my car and took a few calming breathes. There was only one other person I knew at Winsor. Calling her was a long shot, but I was desperate.

I stood up as Avery approached the table and pulled out a chair for her. “Thank you so much for meeting me,” I said taking a seat.

“Sure. Is everything ok? You said it was about Issy?”

I watched the concern in her blue eyes and smiled. I had always suspected that Avery was a genuine friend to Issy. Seeing them fall into a mass of giggles at Thanksgiving had touched something deep in my heart. I hadn’t seen Issy laugh like that in years.

“Avery, I’m going to be very cryptic here, and you’ll have to forgive me, but it’s for your own good. Have you talked to Issy at all in the last few days? Has she mentioned anything about her dad or another guy maybe?”

Avery started fidgeting and nodded. “We’ve talked a lot actually, but never about what’s going on in her life. Issy doesn’t share personal things like that.”

“Have you heard from her today?”

Avery just shook her head, and I couldn’t help feel deflated. I put my head in my hands and tried to pull myself together. Where would she go? Thoughts of Issy trying to hurt herself again consumed me.

“Grant, are you ok?” Avery asked softly, putting her hand on my back.

I looked up at her and tried to fake a smile. “I’m just worried. She’s missing, and no one knows where she is.” I knew I shouldn’t say more, but Avery’s eyes held such compassion that it just seemed to flow out of me. “Issy’s not in the best mental state right now, Avery. Last time I saw her was right after she tried to kill…” I couldn’t continue. I put my head back in my hands and tried to keep the desperation from consuming me.

“Grant, I’m not sure how Issy would feel about me telling you this, but...” I jerked back up to look at her. She seemed to be battling with herself as to whether to say anything, but finally seemed to make a decision. “Issy accepted Christ on the phone with me a few days ago and has been reading your bible ever since. She
didn’t say much, but I know she cares for you. I don’t know what’s going on with her, but I do know this, she is no longer without hope. I don’t think she’ll hurt herself again.”

Relief, amazement, and awe for a God that does the impossi
ble surged through me. “She believes?” I whispered, still in shock.

Avery just smiled. “I know, it’s hard to
imagine. She’s so stubborn. But she was ready, and I truly believe she meant it.”

I reached out and hugged Avery so fast it startled her. “Thank you. Thank you for being there for her to turn to. I always thought it would be me, but God had different plans.” I released her and let out the breath I had been holding. “You have no idea what hearing that does for me.”