Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality (8 page)

There are other minor variations on the creeds, but all refer to the Virgin Mary. The creeds were originally designed to standardize beliefs and to persecute or eliminate those who did not adhere to key ideas.

Modern non-demoninationalists
²⁷
claim they have no creed, but queried on the validity of a Virgin Birth, they will respond, “That is what the Bible says, so it must be true.”

Knowing that early Christian founders were human, we can conclude that they masturbated, married, had sex, had children, had affairs occasionally and certainly lusted in their hearts. But in Christian scriptures, the founders seem untouched by human desires. There is only the slightest hint that Paul experienced a problem when, in Corinthians, he talks about a “thorn in the flesh.” We can only guess what he is referring to. Maybe he masturbated too much, drank a little too much wine or had a mistress.
²⁸
He wouldn’t be the first religious leader to do so.

As with most religions, Christianity teaches that masturbating is wrong or at best questionable. Mark Driscoll, founder of the Seattle mega-church, Mars Hill, is only one among many religious leaders who preach against masturbation:

“... Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.”
²⁹

Self-sex is the first sex a person has. To characterize it as abnormal is a distortion of natural sexuality. Sooner or later a child will hear that this most private and important sexual activity is unnatural and will likely cause problems in his or her spiritual growth, marriage or eye sight.

Jesus’ idea that lust in the heart is the same as adultery feeds right into the guilt around masturbation.
³⁰
Masturbation generally involves some degree of imagination and visualization. Lucky for women, adultery as Jesus knew it was between a man and a married woman. A single woman could not commit adultery. Also, the Bible does not prohibit women from masturbating, though most Christian denominations would frown on it.

The idea of adultery was directly related to a man’s property rights. The prohibition is to prevent one man from interfering with another’s property, as in Exodus 20:14, “You shall not commit adultery.” and 17, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

Interestingly, there is nothing in the Ten Commandments about the number of spouses you can have. At the time of the writing of Exodus and Deuteronomy, polygamy was well accepted and practiced by Judaism and surrounding cultures.

Under Rome in the first century CE, the monogamous Romans were tolerant of polygamous Jews. Herod the Great was allowed to have many wives because he was Jewish.
³¹
There was no outcry at that time against Herod’s behavior because it was an acceptable practice. As with many cultures, polygamy was generally practiced by the upper classes since it required excess resources to support multiple wives. Even when polygamy was most widely practiced, most Jews would still have been monogamous as a practical matter.

Probably as a result of three hundred years of domination by the monogamous Greeks and Romans, polygamy slowly lost favor even in the upper classes. But polygamy was not formally outlawed in Judaism until the 11th century.
³²

Jesus said nothing against polygamy, even though he undoubtedly saw it practiced by his Jewish contemporaries. No later Christian author in the New Testament condemns the practice either.

A reference in 1 Timothy 3:12 indicates polygamy was practiced among Christians, “Deacons must be husbands of only one wife.” Some Christians must have had more than one wife, otherwise why make that a requirement?

The world of early Christianity was a mix of monogamous and polygamous practices both inside and outside of Judaism. As Christianity spread to non-Jewish communities in the Roman world, many would already have been monogamous, so polygamy would not be an issue. But in polygamous North Africa and the Arabian Peninsula, accommodations had to be made. The Church may have disapproved of polygamy, but conversion was more important at that time. Once an area was converted, then the Church slowly went about forcing out polygamy. It was too much to ask that a wealthy polygamous convert give up two of his three wives, but the church could ask that his sons refrain from marrying more than one wife. As a result, the early church is largely silent on the issue so as not to alienate possible converts and gain access to wealth.

Christian views on monogamy are not based in scripture, and early church leaders had difficulty condemning polygamy. All the key players in the Old Testament were polygamous. Augustine (354-430 CE) did not condemn the patriarchs for their polygamous ways but said polygamy was no longer necessary. He created a tortured argument and taught that the reason why patriarchs had many wives was simply because they wanted more children. Therefore, he said that the need to produce many children was past, so monogamy was more acceptable. He never actually condemned polygamy. If you are confused by this argument, you are not alone.

Some Christians were probably polygamous for the first few centuries, but Christianity was more a movement of the lower classes who were monogamous already. Thus, from the beginning, monogamy would have been the norm simply because it was a lower class religion. It was not until the fifth century that the church formally outlawed it. Then it became a bedrock principle.

But the issue was still cropping up in Martin Luther’s time a thousand years after Augustine. In a letter to Chancellor Gregor Brück, January 13,
1524, Luther stated, “I confess that I cannot forbid a person to marry several wives, for it does not contradict Scripture.”
³³

Modern-day Christian culture ignores the fact that there is no prohibition on polygamy or more accurately, polygyny
³⁴
(many wives), or for that matter polyandry (many husbands). In matters of marriage, the Bible is largely silent. The Mormons had no problem with polygyny. They believe that Jesus had three wives. Joseph Smith instituted polygyny from the very beginning.
³⁵

As we can see from the polygyny of Mormonism, Hinduism and Islam, religions can be quite successful with non-monogamous forms of marriage. Christian monogamy was a function of the cultural pressures of the first three centuries. At the same time, a severe type of monogamy evolved in Christianity.

Sexual pleasure within marriage is not discussed or encouraged in the New Testament. The Ante-Nicene Fathers are downright hostile to the notion of sexual pleasure. Their belief that Jesus may return any day to judge you meant that you had better be sexually pure at all times or you might end up in hell. The concept of an all-knowing, voyeuristic and vengeful god created a religion of strong guilt and fear around sex.

So to answer the question we began with in the title of this chapter, “Did Jesus Masturbate?” If he existed, he probably did at some point in his adolescence. It would be the rare boy who does not experiment with his own body. On the other hand, some people are born asexual. If Jesus was asexual, he might never have masturbated. Jesus said:

Matt. 19:12
, For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.

Maybe he was a eunuch from birth. In that case how can a eunuch give advice about sex and marriage?

Now let’s turn to the mechanics of shame and guilt to help us understand why sex is so important to most religions and why they use it so much.

18
The Ante-Nicene Fathers wrote about and defended Christianity from about 100 to 325 CE. Most Christians are not familiar with these writings, yet they are the basis for much of what Christians believe today. The Ante-Nicene Fathers include Clement, Ignatius, Polycarp, Justin Martyr, Irenaeus, Tertullian and others.

19
Jesus does discuss eunuchs and seems to say that making oneself a eunuch is a good idea, if you can do it: “For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can” (Matthew 19:12).

20
Parthenogenesis does not naturally occur in humans or in mammals, although it has been induced in mice and rabbits and a few other animals. For more information on induced parthenogenesis, see Kawahara, M., Wu, Q., et al. (2007). “High- frequency generation of viable mice from engineered bi-maternal embryos.”
Nature Biotechnology
25 (9): 1045–50.

21
Private communication with Richard Carrier. See his blog
http://richardcarrier.blogspot.com/2011/06/pauline-interpolations.html
and discussion of early Christian feminism in
Not the Impossible Faith
, pp. 110-11 (2009) and associated endnotes.

22
The Mormon church's official website answers the polygamy question as follows: “In this dispensation, the Lord commanded some of the early Saints to practice plural marriage. The Prophet Joseph Smith and those closest to him, including Brigham Young and Heber C. Kimball, were challenged by this command, but they obeyed it. Church leaders regulated the practice. Those entering into it had to be authorized to do so, and the marriages had to be performed through the sealing power of the priesthood. In 1890, President Wilford Woodruff received a revelation that the leaders of the Church should cease teaching the practice of plural marriage.” Available online at
http://mormon.org/faq/#Polygamy
.

23
The Arian concept of Christ is that the son of God did not always exist, but was created by – and is therefore distinct from and inferior to – God the Father. This belief is grounded in John 14:28 “Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.”

24
Mark 6:3, “‘Isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us?’” And they took offense at him.” No less than five other scriptures refer to Jesus’ siblings: Matthew 12:46; John 2:12; John 7:3; Acts 1:14; and Galatians 1:19.

25
Second Council of Constantinople (381 CE).

26
Book of Common Prayer (1662 CE).

27
Non-denominationalism is a vague and confusing term applied to many mega-churches that have sprung up in much of the Christian world. They are often characterized by theological and political independence and a single charismatic leader. Examples include Willow Creek, Calvary Chapel, Cornerstone Fellowship and Christ’s Commission Fellowship (Phillippines).

28
2 Corinthians 12:7-9, KJV: “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.”

29
Driscoll's free online book is available at
http://theresurgence.com/books/porn_again_christian
.

30
Matthew 5:27-28, KJV: “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

31
Flavius Josephus says Herod had 9 wives and at least 15 children. At least five names are known: Doris, Mariamne I, Mariamne II, Cleopatra of Jerusalem, Malthace. (
The Works of Flavius Josephus
, War of the Jews, Book 1, 28:4.)

32
Gershom ben Judah (c. 960 -1040), one of the most influential rabbis of his time, put the nail in the polygyny coffin with many rules and laws he advocated. Some sects of Judaism continued to practice polygyny until more recent times, but this was rare.

33
From De Wette's collection of Luther's Letters (1826).

34
Polygamy is the popular word for “many wives”, but we will use the more accurate “polygyny” from here on so that we can contrast polygyny “many wives” with polyandry “many husbands.”

35
See the
Journal of Discourses
, Volume 4, page 259. The Journal of Discourses is a collection of public sermons by early leaders of Mormon church.

How is shame different from guilt? How does shame work to keep people religiously infected and in line? How is shame different in Islam versus Christianity?

Religious guilt and shame are the primary tools of most organized religions, but they are used to different degrees and ways. Why does Islam or Hinduism use one sexual system and Christianity another? Much of the answer to this question may be found in how these religions use shame and guilt.

For purposes of our discussion, let’s define religious guilt as the feeling you get when you know you have violated a rule or moral principle. No one else may know of your action, but an all-voyeuristic god knows. Guilt is something that, once programmed, can function without anyone else knowing. If you are taught that masturbation is against god’s law, then whenever you do it, you will feel guilt even though no one knows you did it.

Shame is a deeper emotion, one that incorporates one’s identity as well as the judgment of other people. It is the idea that a certain behavior makes you a bad, damaged or diseased person. A Muslim woman is taught from birth that anyone who loses her virginity before marriage is eternally damaged. She becomes like a diseased and filthy person to god and her community. Such a belief creates both terror and focus on avoiding behavior that might lead to shame. She is told stories and shown examples of women who violated this law of god. In everyday conversation, the idea is associated with defilement, dirt, disease, as well as loss of social connection, status and support. A defiled woman is the target of social ostracism and abuse. It is remarkably parallel to the button story in
Chapter 1
.