Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality (38 page)

Read Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality Online

Authors: Darrel Ray

Tags: #Psychology, #Human Sexuality, #Religion, #Atheism, #Christianity, #General, #Sexuality & Gender Studies

BOOK: Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality
3.19Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
Almost Everyone Is Doing It

What is the future of religion and sex? A recent article in the conservative magazine
RELEVANT
called “Almost Everyone Is Doing It” found that 80% of single Evangelicals have had sex outside of marriage while 76% say it is wrong. It also found that 88% of secular singles have had premarital sex. As we have noted earlier, there isn’t much difference between the two groups. The article examines all aspects of the “problem” trying to understand why young Christian people are having sex when they believe it to be wrong.
194
Nowhere do they examine the obvious – biology happens. It is like they assume humans are not biological but spiritual.

Josh McDowell, one of the key leaders of Campus Crusade for Christ (now rebranded with the name Cru), said it best in a speech, “Unshakable Truth, Relevant Faith,” at the Billy Graham Center in Asheville, N.C.
195
He warned that sexual immorality through the Internet is “marginalizing the maturity of the witness of Christ … all over the world. It’s an invasive, intruding immorality … that is all just one click away,” adding that the majority of questions young people ask him are about sex, mainly “oral sex.”

This is a Christian leader’s analysis, and I would agree with him in many ways. Religions throughout the world are losing control of sex. Ironically, the result is greater joy and satisfaction, less disease, and fewer unplanned pregnancies and less traumatic guilt around normal sexual behavior.

McDowell had little to offer his listeners. Yet he proposed three ways to deal with the problem of children learning from the Internet. “First, we have to model the truth … Second, we have to build relationships … and third, We have to use knowledge … You better arm yourselves to answer your children’s and grandchildren’s questions … no matter what the question is … without being judgmental. Kids’ greatest defense,” he said, “was the knowledge of truth.” He may as well say,
“Access to truth, reality and reliable information is the greatest threat to religion.”

Unfortunately for religion, modeling the truth, building honest relationships and gaining knowledge will not keep people infected with religious sexuality. Open and honest discussion of these topics will help children resist the crazy ideas religion teaches about sex and, as a result, make better decisions. Modeling the truth will undermine the sexual foundations of Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Mormonism and any other religion that seeks to control human sexuality.

Sex, Religion and the Planet

There are seven billion people on the planet, projected to become nine billion by 2040. In every industrialized country, when a certain level of wealth and education is reached, the population tends to decrease the rate of reproduction. The most secular societies have the lowest reproduction rates. Educated, secular people are choosing to have far fewer children than in the past. Indeed, a large segment are choosing not to have any children.

What does this mean for sex and sexuality? For thousands of years, religion has kept humanity focused on reproducing in the interest of propagating the religion. Policies around birth control have been opposed by religion and continue to be opposed. Evangelicals and Catholics are preaching vociferously against condoms in Africa and the United States. Mormons still oppose masturbation. Southern Baptists are against abortion and birth control for teens.

This has serious implications for sex in our culture and world culture. As we have seen throughout this book, sex is largely for bonding and recreational purposes with 1,000 to 10,000 sex acts for every live birth. With far lower birthrates, improved birth control and in-vitro fertilization (test tube babies), sex plays a decreasing role in reproduction. This means that old religiously-based taboos and superstitions about sex and sexuality no longer have meaning in the context of reproduction. “Be fruitful and multiply” simply falls on deaf ears.

These facts call for a close examination and rethinking about the role of sex in society and relationships. As more countries increase the education and economic level of their populations, it appears that the role of religion will continue to fade and with it guilt and shame. Whether through birth control or ecological collapse, disease or resource constriction, there will be less human reproduction in the future. The era of unrestricted human reproduction is coming to an end. Religions will have to find other means
of propagating or die. With more highly educated populations that have access to vast amounts of information, it will be more difficult for religions to mentally trap people and teach their distorted views of sexuality. The result will be less distortion in our understanding and pursuit of sexual pleasure and relationship building. We will be able to act like the sophisticated social primates that we are.

A New
Commandment Suggestion
I Give You

Go ye therefore and enjoy deity-free sex – have fun!

 

193
Ray, D. (2009).
The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture
.

194
Available online at
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/digital-issue/53?page=66
.

195
Reported by Anugrah Kumar in
The Christian Post
, available online at
http://www.christianpost.com/news/apologist-josh-mcdowell-internet-the-greatest-threat-to-christians-52382/
.

Selected Biblioghraphy

Ali, Ayaan Hirsi. (2007).
Infidel
. New York: Free Press.

Ali, Ayaan Hirsi. (2010).
Nomad: From Islam to America, A Personal Journey Through the Clash of Civilizations
. New York: Free Press.

Anapol, Deborah M. (2010).
Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners
. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers.

Baker, Robin. (2006).
Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict and other Bedroom Battles
. New York: Basic Books.

Barash, David P., & Lipton, Judith. (2001).
The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People
. New York : W. H. Freeman and Co.

Baumeister, R. F. (2000). “Gender differences in erotic plasticity: The female sex drive as socially flexible and responsive.”
Psychological Bulletin
, 126:347-374.

Berg, Amy (Director), Donner, Frank (Producer), et al. (2006).
Deliver Us From Evil
. Santa Monica, CA: Lionsgate.

Buller, D. J. (2005). "Sex, Jealousy and Violence: A Skeptical Look at Evolutionary Psychology."
Skeptic
, 12(1). Available online at
http://www.skeptic.com/reading_room/sex-jealousy-and-violence./

Carrier, Richard. (2009).
Not the Impossible Faith: Why Christianity didn't need a miracle to succeed
. [United States]:
Lulu.com
.

Comfort, Alex. (1972).
The Joy of Sex: A Gourmet Guide to Lovemaking
. New York: Simon and Schuster.

Coontz, Stephanie. (2005).
Marriage, a history: from obedience to intimacy or how love conquered marriage
. New York: Viking.

Dawkins, R. (2006).
The God Delusion
. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

Delgado, M. (15 July 2008). “To Trust or Not to Trust: Ask Oxytocin."
Scientific American
. Available online at
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=to-trust-or-not-to-trust
.

Diamond, Jared M. (2005).
Guns, Germs and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies
. New York: Norton.

Diamond, Jared M. (2006).
The Third Chimpanzee: The Evolution and Future of the Human Animal
. New York: HarperPerennial.

Diekstra, R. F. W. (2008). “Effectiveness of school based social and emotional education programmes worldwide - part one, a review of metaanalytic literature.” In
Social and emotional education: an international analysis
. Santander: Fundacion Marcelino Botin. Available online at
http://educacion.fundacionmbotin.org/index.php?a=educacion_responsable_evaluacion
.

Easton, Dossie, & Hardy, Janet W. (2009).
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures
. Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts.

Edelman, B. (Winter 2009). "Red Light States: Who Buys Online Adult Entertainment?"
Journal of Economic Perspectives
, 23(1), 209-230.

Ellis, Albert. (1975).
A New Guide to Rational Living
. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.

Ellis, Albert. (2003).
Sex Without Guilt in the 21st Century
. Fort Lee, NJ: Barricade.

Fisher, Helen E. (1992).
Anatomy of Love: The Natural History of Monogamy, Adultery, and Divorce
. New York: Norton.

Gadoua, Susan Pease. (2010).
Stronger Day by Day: Reflections for Healing and Rebuilding After Divorce
. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Goodall, Jane. (1971).
In the Shadow of Man
. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

Heinlein, Robert A. (1991, 1961).
Stranger in a strange land
. New York: Putnam.

Hein, Holly. (2001).
Sexual Detours: The Startling Truth Behind Love, Lust, and Infidelity
. New York: St Martin's Griffin.

Hitchens, Christopher. (2010).
Hitch-22: A Memoir
. New York: Twelve.

Hutchinson, Sikivu. (2011).
Moral Combat: Black Atheists, Gender Politics, and the Values Wars
. Los Angeles, CA: Infidel Books.

Kinsey, Alfred C. (1948).
Sexual Behavior in the Human Male
. Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders.

Kinsey, Alfred C. (1953).
Sexual Behavior in the Human Female
. Philadelphia: Saunders.

Marshall, Donald S. & Suggs, Robert C. (Eds.) (1971).
Human Sexual Behavior: Variations in the Ethnographic Spectrum
. New York: Basic Books.

Malinowski, Bronislaw. (1987, 1929).
The sexual life of savages in Northwestern Melanesia: an ethnographic account of courtship, marriage, and family life among the natives of the Trobriand Islands, British New Guinea
. Boston: Beacon Press.

Marlowe, Frank. (2002). "Why the Hadza are Still Hunter-Gatherers." In Sue Kent (Ed.),
Ethnicity, Hunter-Gatherers, and the “Other”: Association or Assimilation in Africa
. Washington: Smithsonian Institution Press.

Miller, Geoffrey F. (2001).
The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature
. New York: Anchor Books.

Ogas, Ogi, & Gaddam, Sai. (2011).
A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the world’s largest experiment reveals about human desire
. New York: Dutton.

Payton, J., Weissberg, R. P., et al. (2008). "Positive Impact of Social and Emotional Learning for Kindergarten to Eighth Grade Students: findings from three scientific reviews." CASEL. Available online at
http://casel.org/publications/positive-impact-of-social-and-emotional-learning-for-kindergarten-to-eighth-grade-students-findings-from-three-scientific-reviews-executive-summary/
.

Pinker, Steven. (1997).
How the Mind Works
. New York: Norton.

Ray, Darrel W. (2009).
The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture
. Bonner Springs, KS: IPC Press.

Ray, Darrel W., & Brown, Amanda. (2011). "Sex and Secularism: What Happens When You Leave Religion." See
IPCPress.com
for the full report.

Regnerus, Mark. (2007).
Forbidden Fruit: Sex and Religion in the Lives of American Teenagers
. Oxford; New York: Oxford University Press.

Richardson, Kim Michele. (2010).
The Unbreakable Child
. Lake Forest, CA: Behler Publications.

Robertson, R. G. (2001).
Rotting face: Smallpox and the American Indian
. Caldwell, ID: Caxton Press.

Ryan, Christopher, & Jetha, Cacilda. (2010).
Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality
. New York: Harper. Note: a 2011 edition was titled,
Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships
.

Sapolsky, Robert M. (14 November 2010). “This is Your Brain on Metaphors.”
New York Times
. Available online at
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/11/14/this-is-your-brain-on-metaphors/
.

Sapolsky, Robert M. (2002),
A Primate's Memoir: A Neuroscientist's Unconventional Life Among the Baboons
. New York: Scriber.

Sargant, William Walters. (1957).
Battle for the mind: a physiology of conversion and brainwashing
. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.

Schmitt, D. P. (2005). “Sociosexuality from Argentina to Zimbabwe: A 48-nation study of sex, culture, and strategies of human mating.”
Behavioral and Brain Sciences
, 28:247-311.

Symons, Donald. (1981).
The Evolution of Human Sexuality
. Oxford; New York: Oxford University Press.

Thomas, Gary. (2000).
Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?
Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Pub. House.

Waal, F. B. M. de. (2005).
Our Inner Ape: A Leading Primatologist Explains Why We Are Who We Are
. New York: Riverhead Books.

Waller, N. G., Kojetin, B. A., Bouchard, T. J., Lykken, D. T., & Tellegen, A. (1990). “Genetic and environmental influences on religious interests, attitudes and values: A study of twins reared apart and together."
Psychological Science
, 1, 138-142.

White, Wrath. (28 May 2008). "The Invisibility of the Black Atheist." Available online at
http://wordsof- wrath.blogspot.com/2008/05/invisibility-of-black-atheist.html
.

Wilson, E. O. “On Human Nature,” in William A. Rottschaefer (Ed.), (1998).
The Biology and Psychology of Moral Agency
. Cambridge; New York: Cambridge University Press.

Worell, Judith. (2002).
Encyclopedia of Women and Gender: sex similarities and differences
. San Diego, CA: Academic Press.

Index

Other books

The Book of Small by Emily Carr
Brazen by Armstrong, Kelley
If Wishes Were Earls by Elizabeth Boyle
Heart by Nicola Hudson
First Of Her Kind (Book 1) by K.L. Schwengel
Hunters by Chet Williamson