Sex and Your Job Search 2013: A Guide to Scoring Your Dream Job (2 page)

You see, Roberts had inherited the title of Dread Pirate Roberts years earlier, as the name had been passed along by a series of individuals over many years. Westley gets the pirate title and relaunches his quest for Buttercup.

IS THERE A JOB FOR YOU? YES!

There is a job for you out there. Inconceivable, you say? Not so. Here’s why. Millions of people have found jobs during this Recession. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), 4.3 million people were hired in October 2012. And a similar amount were hired each month for the past year. The October 2012 Job Openings and Labor Turnover (JOLT) report went on to say that another 3.7 million jobs were left unfilled at the end of that month.

In 2011, I hired over three hundred people for the university medical center where I work. I am on track to hire even more than that in 2012. On an average day, I recommend at least one job-seeker for hire. The positions include nurses, accountants, business interns, directors, dieticians, administrative assistants, and housekeepers, among many others. These numbers have been consistent throughout the Recession.

I know there are a great number of recent college grads without jobs and millions of others who are suffering. I see it every day. In this economy it is true that you may have to work harder and longer to find a job. And similar to Westley’s situation, the jobs available may not be what you expected. But even though there are fewer total jobs out there right now, thousands of companies are hiring at any given time.

“It’s complicated” is a good description of today’s job market. But the fact you should focus on is that approximately three to four million jobs are filled each month.

How many fewer total jobs are there when compared to several years ago? About seven to twelve million less, depending on the statistical source. However, companies are hiring due to turnover, and in some industries, like healthcare, they’re hiring due to growth.

MIRACLE DATA

Want more hope and proof that there are jobs out there? Like the original Dread Pirate Robert, ten thousand baby boomers reach retirement age each day according to ABC News. Of those ten thousand, 42% are thinking about delaying retirement. Still, that amounts to 5,800 people retiring each day, 175,000 a month, and over two million a year.

As boomers continue to retire over the next eighteen years, many organizations have succession plans in place in order to prevent a knowledge gap created by the retirement of these skilled workers. In plain English that means their positions will be replaced. This book shows you how to be the person selected for their jobs.

FAIRY-TALE ENDING

In
The Princess Bride
, Westley’s road to true love is filled with sword fights, a battle of wits, and daring escapes.

In this economy, you’re going to encounter obstacles, too. The competition will be great. You might have to travel and go to extra lengths for success. But ultimately, you can live your dream like the millions of others who are finding jobs in this country. I would not have written this book if I did not see certain techniques work over and over again.

Your life can have a fairy-tale ending. Someone wants to hire you, just like someone hired Kevin in the example below. Kevin nearly doubled his salary last year in Detroit, by using the techniques outlined in this book.

The Recession has devastated Detroit. The auto industry has laid off thousands of workers. Houses have sold for twenty-five dollars, while others have been bulldozed.

A friend of mine from college, who we’ll call Kevin, worked for a European auto manufacturer in Detroit. Like Westley in
The Princess Bride
, his life was tumultuous. The value of his house fell to half of what he paid for it and his wife had just been laid off.

Kevin was in his early thirties and had spent the past ten years attempting to move up the corporate ladder. He had made a solid effort meeting people in the auto industry and had been reasonably successful in his field of marketing. A job well done for someone who started college as an introvert.

One night he was sitting in a hotel lobby at an industry event when, in a scene befitting a mob movie, two people sat down next to him on the couch. The individuals worked for one of the largest American auto manufacturers. They mentioned a job opening, just to gauge his interest. They reinforced that nothing was guaranteed, but they had heard of him and were curious whether he was interested.

Kevin and I talked regularly during the next three weeks. We went over his resume and the examples he would tell about his past successes, similar to how you and I will do in later chapters.

His interviews included several rounds and took two full days. At one point, he was taken to the top floor of the company, where marble floors, ornately designed rooms, and the odor of cigarette smoke still lingered from the 1960s in a
Mad Men
-esque way.

After the interviews, we strategized about responding to an offer should it come. When it did, it was higher than Kevin had hoped. “I didn’t even have to negotiate—the pay was more than I ever imagined!” he told me. The salary offer was almost double what he was making—well past the six-figure mark with stock options and a company car. Soon after, with the help of Kevin’s experience, his wife also found a full-time job.

If Kevin and his wife can find their dream jobs in this economy by using the techniques in this book, you can do the same.

“
Choose a job you love,
and you will never have to work a day in your life.
”

-Confucius

In his comedy special
Kill the Messenger
, Chris Rock discusses the differences between a job and a career. He uses an example from his own experience as a dishwasher at Red Lobster to explain how fifteen minutes can seem like two hours at a job you hate. On the other hand, he says that if you have been blessed with a career you love, in his case stand-up comedy, time flies by.

So, how do you find this dream career? Where do you go from here? You start the same way you would if you were entering the dating scene. You need to determine who you are and what “type” of job you want.

In this chapter, we are going to focus on your passions, purpose in life, skills and abilities, and self-worth. How are we going to make this interesting and less scary? By looking at the hilarious comedy
Tommy Boy
starring Chris Farley and using it as a springboard for your journey of self-discovery.

Why this movie? Because of the incredible and unlikely transformation of the life and career of its namesake. At the end of the film, Tommy accomplishes more than he ever imagined, finds the job of his dreams, is brimming with self-confidence, and hooks up with the girl next door.

But that wasn’t always the case.

Tommy Boy
begins with Tommy Callahan III (Chris Farley) barely graduating from college after seven years and returning home to Ohio. His businessman father, Tom Sr., owns an auto parts plant and offers Tommy a job.

In addition to his new job, Tommy finds out that he will soon have a new stepmom (Bo Derek) and stepbrother (Rob Lowe). Tragically, Tommy’s father suffers a heart attack during the wedding reception. This causes the bank to break their promise of a loan for the new brake pad division, the future of the auto parts company. Tommy is left with the decision of lifetime.

He can either let the bank sell the company or he can make a deal to save it. Not far removed from his college days of beer and bongs, Tommy makes an agreement with the bank and offers up his shares in the company as collateral. The hard part of this arrangement is that he has to sell five hundred thousand brake pads before the bank will grant the loan.

Unfazed by the task at hand, Tommy sets out on a cross-country sales trip with the assistance of a co-worker, Richard (David Spade). His dream is to continue his dad’s legacy and save three hundred factory workers’ jobs.

Along the way, Tommy spills M&M’s into the vents of Richard’s classic muscle car and he clips off a car door at a gas station. Richard hits a deer and it attacks them on the way to the vet.

The sales calls aren’t going so well, either. He and Richard hear a lot of no’s from potential buyers. One of these comes after Tommy lights a model car on fire during a product demonstration to show how the competition’s brakes stacked up. But Tommy keeps at it.

Soon after, something clicks within Tommy and he convinces a grumpy waitress to make him food after the kitchen closes. As a result of this interaction, he becomes much more confident in his sales ability.

Finally, Tommy discovers that his stepmom is making plans to sell the stake she inherited in the company to another auto parts supplier and that she is actually married to his so-called stepbrother.

Luckily, he and Richard devise a plan that exposes her as the con artist she is, and they end up saving the company and the factory workers’ jobs. As a bonus, Tommy gets together with a cute co-worker.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR YOU?
YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO GET BETTER!

Like Tommy early in the film, you are at a crossroads. And like Tommy, you need to ask yourself some important questions before deciding how to proceed. The questions below break down this process so that you can find hope, confidence, and your dream job. Feel free to take notes on your computer or a separate piece of paper. It may mean the difference between not getting a job… and getting a job and making fifty thousand to a million dollars more in your lifetime!

1.
--
What is it exactly that you want to do? What is your passion in life? What have you been doing when you were really enjoying yourself? What legacy do you want to leave?

2.
--
For Tommy, this was helping other people. It did not matter where. He was very enthusiastic about helping people party and have a good time in college. When his life turned much more serious, he wanted to fight for the factory workers. He saw how noble his dad was and he wanted to be the same type of person.

3.
--
What are your best skills? What are you good at? Do your talents include organizing, analyzing, speaking, or something else? Do your traits include enthusiasm, determination, compassion, or honesty? What else?

Tommy was an extrovert and liked communicating. Sales was a perfect fit for him. Initially his technique was a little off, like when he lit the model car on fire during a product presentation. But as he practiced, he gained experience and confidence.

4.
--
Where do you want to work? What field or industry do you
really
want to be in? Do you want to work indoors or outdoors, for a big company or a small one? What is your ideal work scenario?

Tommy felt comfortable in the environment he was working in and aspired to be his own boss. He enjoyed the change of pace that sales offered and stayed connected to his home base as needed.

5.
--
What job titles and organizations fit the answers you gave above? Where are they located? Do you know anyone in this line of work that you could contact? If not, who could you speak with in those organizations that could hire you?

Sometimes this is an easy answer and you do not have to go far to find it. Like Tommy and the factory he grew up in. Other times, it involves considering what you are willing to do
or
can do at this point in your life. Tommy knew that in order to stay close to home and those he loved, he would have to crisscross the country to drum up sales for the auto parts plant.

DON'T SETTLE!

But what if Tommy had not gone for the job of his dreams? What if he said to himself, “I’m fat, dumb, and have no real work experience. I can’t do it. I probably should just give up and sell what stake I have left in the company.” That would have resulted in a lot of work, too.