Sex and Your Job Search 2013: A Guide to Scoring Your Dream Job (8 page)

• Do not drop F-bombs, have underwear showing, or take more than three giveaways from any table.

Federal Employment Office

Generally, government-run employment offices are slow to post jobs. Some government-contracted employers are required to send in their job postings to these offices. However, by the time the State receives them and posts them, the jobs have usually received enough applicants and have been removed from the employer’s website. Sad but true.

The unemployment office website in your state has information on receiving unemployment benefits and can often provide career counseling.

My life resembles that of Daniel LaRusso more than I like to admit. It was after seeing
The Karate Kid
at a young age that I decided I would someday leave New Jersey and move to southern California. Best decision of my life. But not at first...

In the film, Daniel moves to California with his mom and runs into difficulties right away. He meets a hot blond girl by being real and likeable. But Daniel also starts getting picked on by the local karate-trained bullies, one of who is the hot girl’s ex-boyfriend. Mr. Miyagi, a quiet neighbor who happens to be a karate master, begins teaching karate to the naïve underdog Daniel.

Like Daniel, my move to California hit a huge obstacle early on. I arrived on September 1, 2001 and ten days later all of my job leads dried up due to the attacks of September 11. I was told by each employer that everything was on hold for the next few months. People were not sure how the economy would respond. In the big picture, my problems were nothing compared to those who lost their lives or loved ones. Yet, I felt alone and helpless as I started to look for a job from scratch.

This chapter is about presenting yourself to an employer in a real and likeable way through your resume, cover letter, and/or online application. Like Daniel, you will have to go through a little training to get this done. But there is a quick method for this—no “wax on, wax off” needed.

RESUMES ARE CONVERSATION STARTERS

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”

“Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only ten I see.”

“Come here often?”

Pickup lines are out. But conversation starters will never be. You have to say
something
.

In your job search, the resume is the dating equivalent of a conversation starter. When you stop by the employer of your dreams or fill out an online application, you have to have a well-prepared and likeable resume.

So, here is what you need to know.

OLD SCHOOL RESUMES, NEW SCHOOL RESUMES, & ONLINE APPLICATIONS

There are two types of resumes. The old paper kind and the new electronic kind, which includes resumes used for online applications.

The old paper resume is still necessary, but now it is just one part of the resume equation. In the past, the paper resume was all the information an employer had about you to make a decision to interview and hire you. The resume was a means by which the screening process could be accelerated so that a hiring manager would not have to interview everyone that applied.

These days, most medium and large companies will have you fill out an online application. This is the new-school resume. We talked about these online application programs a little earlier. They’re referred to as applicant tracking systems (ATS), where you fill in blanks for your education, employment history, and job duties. An ATS also offers the option to cut and paste a resume and cover letter. It’s really not an option. If you don’t do this, you are perceived as lazy.

The new-school resume also refers to everything that can be found out about you on the Internet. A simple Google search can turn up a lot of information, including Facebook posts, YouTube videos, photo albums, and/or Tweets. I mentioned this earlier and will do so again: Through social media and the Internet, employers can find out what kind of person they think you are and then project what type of employee you would be.

What can you do about your online profile? Untag questionable photos of yourself ASAP. Take down embarrassing videos. Edit your privacy settings. If there’s something really awful out there, Google “how to remove things from a website.” That should help you get started, as your online presence is key to presenting yourself well.

SEVEN IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT RESUMES

Here are some facts and truths about resumes, which I hope will clear up some common misconceptions.

1. A resume does
not
have to be perfectly phrased or formatted before you pass it out. Similarly in dating, your conversation starter does not have to be delivered perfectly—many communication experts agree that it is best to “just say something” when trying to meet someone new. But your conversation starter should be delivered in such a way that it is likeable. At the very least, spellchecking your resume makes it that much more likeable.

Most HR reps don’t care about the format of your resume. Please don’t freak out when deciding which layout to use. Microsoft Word and iWork Pages have good layouts. Go under Templates and just choose one. It’s really not that difficult. Content is much more important than format!

That being said, please use some common sense and intuition. If the resume design has color in it and appears artistic, use that one for creative positions (marketing, PR, graphic design, etc.). Straightforward resume templates are best for business (finance, HR, business development, etc.) and manufacturing-related positions. If you have the time and ability, customize the template a little bit.

Resumes with employment information presented in reverse chronological order and that include job start and end dates are best. Why? Because they show the dates of employment clearly. How long you were in your previous work relationship will help a hiring manager predict how long you will be at their company. Please don’t make anyone hunt for your dates of employment and don’t try to be deceptive.

If you can’t decide, just use the simplest resume format. Chances are it’ll be the easiest to read. Also, don’t use all caps, all lowercase, or a hard-to-read or cutesy font.

2. Do not rely
solely
on a resume to get a job. I’ve mentioned this already. Doing so is a great way to crush your self-esteem and NOT get a job. Like I mentioned in Chapter 4, the paper resume is not a magic piece of paper that will make everyone want you. There are other crucial steps to follow.

3. Eight to thirty seconds is about how long a HR representative and hiring manager takes to scan your online application and resume.

Shocked? OK, let me put it this way. Say you are in a bar and you see a girl or guy that catches your eye. Would you agree that in about eight to ten seconds you can tell if you want to talk to them? You process everything during that time. Looks, clothes, body language, etc.

4. Resume paper really
does
matter. Before HR reps even look at the content, their fingers respond to how the paper feels. Thickness counts.

If clothes make the man or woman, resume paper does the same. It may cost you a few dollars more, but quality paper is well worth it. Remember what I said about HR reps acting like hot models. They want to be pursued and loved. Normal printer or copy paper does
not
show the love. Make them want you with good resume paper.

As far as color goes, please do not use anything but white, off-white, or beige paper. Especially not pink! Please for the love of God, not pink. I have a pink resume in my “Funny” file at work. For that matter, any fluorescent color will get you into that “Funny” file.

5. Hand deliver a resume. Or have it sent by Fed Ex, UPS, or postal service if you live across the country or world.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this from our receptionist, “A nice-looking gentleman wearing a suit dropped this off while you were out.” Or, “A very professional lady dropped this off.” I say, “Ok thanks,” to the receptionist. In my mind I feel a little flattered and say, “Good, they’re
actually
trying. At least I can trust this applicant to do something right and to dress well.” Also, when HR reps get mail by FedEx or UPS, it is likely that the receptionist or someone else will hand deliver it to them. This method is more reliable than trusting an organization’s mail system.

6. Delivering a portfolio can seriously help your chances of being hired. A lot.

You either
really
care about getting your dream job or only
kinda
care. Sending or hand delivering a portfolio shows you
really
care. As much as I think the 1–10 rating scale for measuring attractiveness is superficial, adding a portfolio to your job search raises your level of “employability attractiveness” by at least two to three points.

In the portfolio binder (you’ll find a wide variety at office stores), include a cover letter, resume, and letters of recommendation. The letters of recommendation don’t have to be originals, but color copies are preferred. If you have several letters of recommendation on your LinkedIn profile, you should print those out and include them as a reminder for the hiring manager to check out your LinkedIn profile. If they are considering you as a prospective employee, they may connect with you on LinkedIn.

Just a note, when HR reps see letters of recommendation, they quickly scan the letter to look for the title of the person who wrote it.

Quick Tip:
Many times the person you ask to write a letter of recommendation will request that you write a draft of the letter yourself. Or they may ask you to write the whole thing, which they will then sign.

In your portfolio, you can also include a sample project minus any proprietary information, training you’ve done, physical certificates that are noted on your resume, and awards. Give the hiring manager as much information as you can to make them see that you are
the
candidate for an interview.

Again, this is about trusting you. If you put a portfolio together, the HR reps and hiring manager can trust that you are not lazy. You have shown that you truly care about the job search and are providing
everything
that is needed to make a decision.

A MBA new grad was applying to a two-year management training program at a local hospital. He included a 25-page business plan he had done in a MBA class on how to improve hospital operating rooms. It was in color and it was impressive, a colleague told me. He also included four letters of recommendation, a beautiful cover letter, and a thorough resume. There wasn’t a close second choice. He really wanted to work for the hospital, loved health care, and it showed.