Set In Flames (Morningstars Book 1) (27 page)

“Why should I have told you? You were already attached to her the moment you saw her! And you wouldn’t have let her go if you would have known,” he snapped and Kaden stared at him. Problem was, that all the heat Jaden had expected to feel during this confrontation actually wasn’t there. He sounded empty, and frankly, he felt like it, too.

“I needed to watch over her because you wouldn’t! You were too damn afraid that you could fall in love with her! She’s everything to me and you just handed her off,” Kaden screamed. In no time Jaden was nose to nose with his twin.

“She is everything to
me
, Kaden. She’s my Origin. For you she merely is the little sister we both could never have. She is my every breath,” he replied and he knew it was true. As much as he had been trying to tell himself that the emptiness in him was just evolution, a bond he hadn’t wanted, it was a lie. He loved her, needed her and wanted to be close to her. He needed to see her face so he knew she was okay. He needed it to see that he, too, was okay.

“If she would have meant anything to you we wouldn’t be having this discussion right now. You don’t know what you talk about because if you’d loved her the way I thought you did, you wouldn’t have allowed for anyone to take her away. We won’t be able to find her court because we don’t belong there. I cannot even go and see her. She must think we all knew, but it’s not true. I didn’t know. Instead Matt and Ryder are with her… Matt, who betrayed her just as much as you did, and Ryder, whom she isn’t even talking to. But he’s blood, that’s why he’s there. Guess what? You should be there. She’s your blood now, too! Did she know? Before you turned her, did you bother to tell her that this was the last she’d see of you for a long while?” Kaden demanded to know, but obviously the expression on Jaden’s face said it all. “Have you been that good at lying to yourself or are you just that much of a bastard? I wish I had met her first. I wish she had been my Origin. I would have never let her go!”

Kaden turned away, but not before Jaden saw the utter disappointment in his twin’s eyes. He told himself to let Kaden go because he didn’t care about his opinion, but that was just another lie his heart refused to believe.

“It’s tradition, Kade! You would have had to let her go as well. You can’t go against our race,” he explained, sounding as beat as he felt, while the bond now poured only betrayal towards him. She obviously had gotten a chance to think about it all and realize that it wasn’t just him, but the whole order that had kept this from her.

He could picture that almost too well, her sitting on her bed or standing at the window staring at everything, seeing nothing while she wondered if she meant that little to him.

“Fuck traditions! I would have tried,” Kaden called from downstairs and Jaden stood at the parapet, looking down on his twin who knelt in front of the fireplace. He was just staring into the darkness and Jaden knew he simply couldn’t sort his thoughts out, feeling just as betrayed by Jaden’s secret as Maya was. It was what he’d feel, too. Sometimes the twins simply were too similar.

“I think she wanted you to be it, too,” Jaden finally admitted, seeing his brother freeze. Maya hadn’t exactly told him, but there was no doubt about the warmth she felt whenever she talked about Kaden.

“That’s not true, Jaden. She wanted you to be it. She hoped you’d just change your mind and walk in, sweeping her off her feet and proving to her that his whole Origin business was not a burden to you. I thought you finally were there, at exactly that point. Turned out I was wrong. You sure are an amazing actor, Jaden,” Kaden replied, his voice quiet. As much as Jaden loved hearing that Maya never wanted anyone else, he wasn’t sure she’d had much choice. That thought scared him suddenly more than everything else. What if she would have been happier with someone else? What if she had never chosen him if the bond wouldn’t have linked them?

He shook his head, knowing that he wouldn’t have given her the chance to prove she was the one for him if the order wouldn’t have placed her in his care. Hell, even with her clearly having been made for him he had tried to walk away and find others. He needed to focus on something else or this circle of thoughts would kill him because he would start doubting her feelings for him.

“You wanna go, hang out in a bar and get a drink?” Jaden asked. He knew he couldn’t get drunk that easy, but a guy could dream, right?

“I ain’t going anywhere with you,” Kaden replied, his time in the New York back alleys always impacting his speech when he was the most emotional.

“You can’t hate me forever, Kaden. You are my brother,” Jaden whispered, thinking that he could use some soothing words, too. Would it be so hard for his twin to try and see
his
side of things?

“I sure can try. This stuff, our rules are thousands of years old. We are in the twenty-first century. Maybe it’s time to change our traditions,” Kaden told him, obviously being set on making him more miserable. How often had those exact words been repeated over the last weeks?

“I promised Colbin that I would help the new generation and turn their Queen. In that I honored traditions, but when I swore to him out of duty’s sake, I couldn’t have known how much she’d come to mean to me.”

Kaden finally looked up at him and Jaden squirmed under the hatred he saw in his brother’s eyes. “No one would have been mad at you for breaking that oath. We would have understood. Hell, Colbin most of all. He’d never give up Lara. I promise, running and hiding might not sound like his MO, but where Lara is concerned, he’s not thinking rational. Maya’s duty is fulfilled. She doesn’t need to stay where she is. No Origin will die anymore. Get her back from there … wherever that is,” Kaden explained, but Jaden couldn’t help but think that his brother didn’t understand.

“I never break a promise I made,” he whispered and Kaden coughed out a cold laugh. Jaden slowly calmed down because Maya seemed to fall asleep, making the betrayal he felt slowly ebb away. Unfortunately that left his own feelings to deal with.

“When have you turned into a liar, brother?” Kaden asked. “Didn’t you promise her to always keep her safe? How do you plan on doing that when you don’t even see her? Frankly, the way I see it there was only one person you owed loyalty to and in the end she was the only one you betrayed and lied to. We lost her, and it’s your fault,” Kaden accused, the heat leaving his voice as Kaden obviously came to the conclusion that Jaden wouldn’t bring her back.

Never in his life had Jaden seen his brother look so defeated and it was even worse knowing that he’d be around a lot more to see that, but Jaden couldn’t get himself to leave the only place where Maya truly had been his.

“Exactly, Kade, I lost her, too. You act as if she was yours, but that’s not true. She’s mine! I was wrong in waiting so long to turn her; to not telling her I love her when she still would have listened. Right now she is asleep somewhere, not knowing that she is my heart and soul. I was wrong in letting her fall in love with me, but I wasn’t wrong in giving new hope to our race! For us there won’t be a repeat of Lucas… I know you remember him and I know you know how he felt whenever he realized that his woman would die. To no one else this will happen because I did what I did,” Jaden said in a pleading tone. He needed Kaden to see that he, too, was hurting. He walked down the stairs, dropping into the leather chair that faced the fire Kaden had finally built.

“You know what I don’t get? Colbin said that you couldn’t feel love through the bond. I mean, besides the fact that this is more than just weird, how do you know she loves you? Did she tell you? I didn’t think she would.  After all, she needed that confirmation from you first. So, if she hadn’t said those magical words you never would have known how to cherish her, right?” There had been no need for that because he had felt it in her touch, saw it in her eyes. It was even obvious by the betrayal she felt, because the less she would have felt for him, the less she’d worry about his backstabbing. After all only those you love most could tear out your heart. “She did, actually, but…” He shrugged.

Finally his twin’s expression softened. “In the end she didn’t need to, right? After all your caveman brain got it, too, and you saw all that we have noticed for weeks. You probably knew before she said the words, hoping you could avoid hearing them.”

“Someone should have told me that this was more than the bond. Hell, she doesn’t even know me! You think she knows what we used to do? I’d be surprised if she even really knows my eye-color.” The moment those words were out of his mouth Jaden knew that they were a lie. She had probably noticed more about him than he could have ever guessed.

“That doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore. What you plan now is what counts!” Kaden remarked and Jaden sighed. He simply had no idea about what to do next, but at least he knew how he could make two people less miserable.

“If I tell you exactly where you find her because she does need a friend who truly couldn’t do anything about this situation, do you promise to check on her?” Jaden asked, knowing he should be the one making the way over there, but he wasn’t ready to until he could make amends. He needed to find a way to prove to her that she was everything to him.

“Dear Creator, I definitely would! As soon as the night comes, I’ll be going to see her.” Kaden looked a little too excited for Jaden’s taste, but for now he would live with that. After all, Fate had dealt him the Maya-card, and no one else. Luckily.

Sleeping usually wasn’t something Destra enjoyed, but ever since Nox had put some nice touches into decorating the hut, she felt a little better. The bed he had gotten her was much more comfortable than the one she had before, but still, this wasn’t her home. Not that she had one left any longer.

She didn’t feel like herself anymore, neither sane nor insane, and it was weird. Closing her eyes she thought of her runaway daughter and it made her furious. Just then she felt a slight tugging in her body. It was a feeling she couldn’t place, but she instantly knew that wherever this was taking her, the little bitch was waiting at the end of the way.

“Nox,” she mumbled, reaching for him, but her little helper wasn’t where she expected him to be. Something had shifted between them and she couldn’t put her finger on it. It was as if besides the weird obsession he had for her, Nox now as well developed one for her daughter and that was something she absolutely didn’t like.

“Nox?” she called, pulling her morning gown closer to her body. She knew there was no one who would be able to see her besides him, but she didn’t care. She was a lady of high standards and no condition was going to change that.

Her whole vision was tinted red; another sign that showed her insanity was taking over, but not coming fast enough. She wanted blood, needed it really, but it wasn’t just the drinking. She wanted to bathe in her daughter’s blood, feeling rejuvenated by it because not even a vampire could survive being drained.

She found her sidekick outside, watching him from the doorway for a moment. He stood in the moonlight. His hair appeared white and his eyes focused off into the distance. She really wished she could tell what he was feeling, but her empathy stopped working after having flickered on and off in the last decade or so.

“Tell me your thoughts,” she ordered, feeling insecure. It was something she hated, because a woman like her had a grip on her life. She never was insecure. But with everything that had happened, hell, ever since she had Nox capture her daughter, things had changed between them The dynamics had changed and now she was waiting for Nox’s approval instead of the other way around.

“I was just wondering how to reach your daughter. We can hardly poison her if we don’t come close. Wherever she is, we won’t be able to get her like before.”

Destra walked closer to him, worried about the fact that he hadn’t yet turned to her. His eyes looked obsidian in the cold night. She didn’t even feel the biting chill, welcoming the fact that the fall nights were already getting colder by the week.

“We used to track her blood and you think that won’t work any longer?” she made sure, knowing that this was it. She even knew why it wasn’t working anymore, but sometimes it was nice to be the one who had more insight.

“No, first, if they are as smart as we think them to be, they’d make sure whatever we used against her before would be shielded even stronger, and second, the moment she takes a mate – which seemed to be a huge possibility – her blood won’t be the same any longer. Which made me wonder … do you need blood, my mistress? Will you be able to drink from someone else now again?” he asked, finally facing her. His beautiful face lay in shadows now and it made Destra wonder if she had ever gotten a full idea of what he was capable of, because right then and there he sure looked as if he could take down the world.

She didn’t want to think about the fact that her mate was dead. She never had wanted anyone else, but now she either found some new blood source or she’d have to turn into one of those Hellraise who roamed the street for their next meal. That was not acceptable. But neither was taking anyone else as her mate right now.

Nox stepped closer, pulling her against him. She actually enjoyed the warmth coming from his body and snuggled into him.

“What, you stopped talking to me now? Or are you worrying about finding someone new? We could try if my blood would work wonders for you. We are almost bonded anyways,” he mumbled against her cheek, gently cupping her behind through the thin material of the morning gown.

She snorted quietly, thinking that he had not the slightest inkling what it meant to be bonded because, after all it was total devotion. She even had hidden who she truly was. That was what a bond meant. It wasn’t about great sex, even though that had been awesome as well. She’d never feel for anyone again what her heart had been able to feel for Tymon.

“I didn’t stop talking and I am not worried. In fact, I woke because I need to tell you something and then I saw you standing here like the Greek God you were meant to be,” she smiled, charming him because she knew it always got him to do what she wanted. His ego was his biggest weakness.

He laughed, his deep chuckle almost seductive, but she was in no mood for the things that were on his mind. She wanted to have her daughter suffer when she told her that her precious father had died for her, and then she’d kill Maya. That was the only thing she lusted after.

“Tell me, what are your thoughts?” he wanted to know, nudging her with his nose, inhaling deeply.

“Nox, did you ever realize that you are not really sane, either?” she asked, stepping back to watch his expression. It never had occurred to her, but now, for whatever reason, she felt more reflective than she had ever in her life. Truth was, she was weaker now than ever before. There seemingly was no myth any longer when you lost your mate: It was true that he took part of you with him, leaving you temporarily vulnerable. Or, in her case, more vulnerable than usual.

Again he chuckled, kissing her quickly on the lips. “I never was. I’m just more rational than you are, but that is why you and I work together so well … inside the bedroom and out. You and I, dearest Mistress, we could take over the world. You spread the fear that I’d so desperately need to keep the people in line,” he said gently, his love for her clear in his words. He could do it all by himself and they both knew it. He didn’t really need her in his life, but he wanted her … or maybe he just wanted her blood. Another time self-doubts crawled up on her, making her ready to leash out.

“Promise me we’ll get her soon. How long until you have everything we need?” she wanted to know, touching his chin. Maybe it was time to dispose of him because, for whatever reason, she was getting afraid of him. She was fully dependent on Nox now and hated it.

“Two, three days the most. We should maybe make sure that someone knows we are coming for her. There is no better way to lure her out if we pretend we go after someone else. Maybe that mate of hers? That way we’ll make it possible to find her. She sure would sacrifice herself for him, don’t you think? After all, he was everything she could think of down there by herself,” he explained and she heard the angry undercurrent in his voice, noticed how his whole body tensed just that little bit more.

“What exactly is it that makes you mad? The fact that she still walks the earth or the fact that she doesn’t walk it by your side?” Destra snapped, stepping away. Her emotions were all over the place and it surprised her to realize that the bond with Tymon had done much more for her sanity than she ever had given it credit for.

Nox watched her, threating in his height that she had never really noticed even though she always had to look up at him. Her whole world had changed and all just because she now was no longer bonded.

“Cut me,” she suddenly demanded, knowing that her sexuality was all that she had still going for her. She needed to feel pain and the way only Nox could really fill her.

“She is nothing to me,” Nox whispered, lust deepening his voice, letting his eyes sparkle while he opened her morning gown, pulling it and her night gown off her body. He’d take her right outside, probably against the wooden wall and she didn’t mind. The more pain she felt, the more she’d be reminded that she was alive.

“I know where she is. I just need to focus on her. She is the Queen now and I am, after all, just an Origin. We’ll take her down and hurt her. I actually like the thought of taking that warrior of hers. If he is affected, so will she be. She could never become happy again. A lifetime of suffering. That sounds about right, it’s what I have to deal with because of her. And he probably is a hothead,” she explained, feeling how his finger grazed her puckered nipple. A moan escaped her before he latched on, biting down hard enough on the sensitive nub to draw blood. “By the Creator, yes,” she groaned and he sucked harder, pressing his thigh between her legs, letting his hand follow. She knew she was ready for him.

“We’ll make her pay,” he promised just before entering three fingers at once. Careful never had been his style and frankly, it was just what Destra needed in times like these.

Two days had passed since that dreadful night and Maya slept more than she had ever anticipated she could. The numb feeling had come back, making it easy for her to block out the bond she and Jaden shared. It was the one thing that she simply couldn’t get over. Having traded her gowns against jeans and tops again she now felt more like herself while, at the same time, she didn’t have any idea anymore who she was. That little courtier of hers almost constantly knocked on her door, trying to gain entry, but Maya never even bothered to answer. In fact, the door had barely been opened since the night she had walked in.

Her room, or better suite, was decorated with a touch that told her exactly how many people had known this would be a female room only. There was nothing masculine about the colors or the lines, and even though she usually didn’t mind, she just couldn’t see any chance of Jaden ever being ready to live here with her. Not that the chance stood in the room anyways, but sometimes, in some dreadful moments, she couldn’t resist tapping into his feelings on purpose, knowing that he was lonely and full of guilt. Her problem was that she couldn’t say for sure if those feelings were for her. Besides, he hadn’t bothered to come and she knew he knew where she was.

If she closed her eyes she’d be blindly able to find him. He was home, in his bedroom even. It was crazy how well she could tell where he was.

Shaking her head she focused her eyes outside again, not seeing much there since it was a new moon’s night and light was a rarity around this prison of hers.

“You cannot…” She turned at the voice of that courtier, followed by a door opening.

“Cupcake!” Her heart set out, but a quick check told her that Jaden was exactly where he had been just a few seconds ago. So this was…

“Kade!” she exclaimed, happily jumping into the arms of the sweeter twin. He held onto her strongly, smelling like home because he smelled like Jaden. Her broken heart shattered even more, realizing that she maybe never would be held like that by Jaden again. The truth of his feelings was a mystery to her and each time she allowed herself to feel, betrayal was all that surfaced.

“I didn’t know,” he said against her shoulder, shaking with suppressed anger. “I didn’t know,” he repeated and Maya couldn’t help but wish that Jaden would be him, sounding so distressed. “You need to believe me. If I would have known I would have tried to talk sense into him, but there was nothing much left to do. He knew I’d protest, which is why he didn’t bother letting me in on the secret. Dearest Creator, I am sorry he broke your heart, my little star.” He put her down on her own two feet, making her realize that she hadn’t even noticed how he had picked her up.

“How can you be here?” she wanted to know, stepping back. As far as she remembered no one was allowed to be there … and no one knew about this location, either. Kaden couldn’t meet her eyes, telling her more than he probably had anticipated. He was about to lie to her.

“Lex told me. I made him read Colbin’s mind so I could find out,” he said, turning away to look around her room. She followed his body with her eyes, trying to gauge what he was thinking. There was nothing personal in that room and she didn’t have anything really to add to it. She didn’t like the romantic sceneries hanging in frames all around the room. If she could she’d get them replaced with depressing pictures of rain and lonely people. Seeing scenes like that did something soothing for her. But no, here it was sunshine and happy couples.

The bed was big enough for four people, even if all of them were warriors the size of Devon. All shades of purple could be found: lavender for the sheets, mauve for the pillows, orchid for the curtains and it all contrasted well with the dark wooden floors and the cream walls. At one point Maya maybe would have liked a room like that, but now she wished it all would be less feminine and more made for a man.

“This is a truly beautiful room,” Kaden remarked, not even giving her the chance to comment before going on, “It doesn’t look like you at all. You probably would have needed warmer colors, something between red and pink. You seem cheerier than that usually.”