Set In Flames (Morningstars Book 1) (34 page)

He gave her one last squeeze before letting her go. He left everything unsaid that obviously was resting on the tip of his tongue. She took a deep breath, being sure that she could never thank him enough for not having spoken up that moment. It wouldn’t have made things easier or less messy, of that she was sure.

“I’ll have Lex monitor your thoughts closely and I swear, if we get the feeling that you’ll die on us, I’ll be in that room,” he said before letting her turn away.

“Kaden…” She stopped in the door, looking at him another time. She had no idea what she had intended to say, but she went on with what felt right that moment. “I love Jaden.”

“You don’t know him, Cupcake,” he replied and she nodded.

“Exactly my point, because I still love him,” she pointed out, hoping he’d understand how serious this bond-thing was.

Silence greeted her as she entered and Maya sighed. Sometimes it really was the worst thing to have everyone hear you perfectly. Without giving them another look she walked up the stairs, feeling as if she was heading to her own funeral.

“Take my dagger, Maya. You’ll need it,” Kaden whispered, being right behind her. Just then she realized that she had no idea when it would be time to give Jaden her blood.

“Listen to his heartbeat. Once you have the feeling it’s about to stop, you start feeding him,” Lex said, as well coming up behind her. “We’ll be right here,” he then added, squeezing her hand.

To her utter surprise Jaden was awake, sitting on the bed. Her heart stopped before it sped up.

“I’m gonna kill them. All of them,” he growled, his voice nowhere near his usual powerful tone.

“Pretty big words for someone who’s slowly dying an agonizing death,” she replied, her voice shaking. She wanted to be close to him badly, but she had no idea what was on his mind.

It was then that she realized worry overpowered his pain, which hadn’t made her aware that he was awake.

“I’m here because Ryder thought you might feel the need to say something to me, but…”

“Stop talking, Cupcake!” He pushed himself off the bed and Maya moved closer so she’d be ready to catch him if he should stumble. The moment she was within his reach she found herself hugged against a body that was undeniably home.

“I thought I wouldn’t ever see you again, so I am kinda glad that they didn’t listen to me,” he mumbled into her hair, kissing her below the ear, then her cheek and then her forehead. Relief now eased his pain.

“I did everything wrong. She challenged me. I knew it was a trap. We all did. We just couldn’t tell what kind. She didn’t attack and it freaked us out. But then she started talking and…” The look in his eyes spoke of pure regret. “She held a mirror to my face and I snapped. The moment my fingers locked around her throat I knew something was terribly wrong. It was like a burn going through my body; a reevaluation of my life, set in flames. I knew all my actions had been wrong when it came to you and I figured I’d be dying without ever really having told you what I feel. If I hadn’t betrayed you, myself and our bond, I would have taken my daggers instead of my hands, but…” He drew a long, clearly painful breath.

Time was slipping by and even though he supposedly had years left to suffer, Maya wasn’t ready to waste any more minutes.

“You can tell me all of that once you are fine again,” she fussed gently, but he just shook his head.

“I’m not gonna die now or any time soon. Moracai just makes you miserable and barely conscious most of the time, but it’ll take months and years until you’ll find your end, so please, just let me say all that I want to say,” he pleaded, cupping her cheek.

“Jaden, you are turning this into a goodbye when, in truth, it is a rescue mission, not euthanasia.”

He chuckled, making tears come to her eyes. Being there, seeing him, she knew exactly what he was aiming at. It was in the way he looked at her, the way he brushed his knuckles over her cheek and in the way he still could smile through the pain just because she was with him. She was his and he was finally ready to be all hers. The irony didn’t get lost on Maya.

“I know why you are here, Cupcake, I just want to make sure you know that if the roles would have been reversed, I would have come rushing to your side as well. I have to live with the knowledge that you doubt my feelings and it’s the worst thing ever. I should have never let you go, but I was scared… You hold my heart; have been holding it since the first time you ever lay in that bed right there. You are mine; sweetest Maya, and no one will ever be able to change that again. Let me hold you for the night and make me forget everything that happened. Tell me you forgive me,” he begged, framing her face. By now Maya was a shaking mess, kissing his chest slightly.

There was so much she wished hadn’t happened leading up to that point, including finding out that Jaden wasn’t the only one meant to be with her, but she couldn’t bring herself to regret the fact that he now, on the brink of a life in pain, had told her all that just had left his sweet lips.

“No holding me. At least not tonight,” she gave back, going on her tiptoes to kiss him long and hard, trying to ignore that there was no strength in the way he held her.

“Can I talk you out of that?”

“Can you talk me out of saving your life?” she asked, shaking her head then. “No way in hell,” she added.

He sat down on the side of the bed and then lay down, looking exhausted.

“Cupcake, I’ll kill you in the process,” he mumbled, his eyes closing.

“No one gets killed,” she insisted, looking down at the man that her life depended on. She leaned down, kissing his cheek and lips before straightening again.

She was going to save him, no matter the cost.

She waited until he was fully unconscious again, grabbing the dagger she had dropped upon entering. Her hands were shaking while she spotted the three buckets neatly lined up against the wall. Someone had obviously hoped she would come and try her best. Moving them to the bed to catch the falling blood, she felt a tear roll down her cheek. As much as she wanted to stop his suffering; draining him of his blood just seemed too cruel.

She pulled his arm over the side of the bed, shaking enough to make her worry that she’d hack his hand off instead of opening his veins.

Lex and Kaden were whispering outside and she could all but see Kaden prowling in front of the door.

“I’ll do it. I’m fine,” she called to keep him from charging in and taking over. Her voice was thick with unshed tears, probably not making anything better, but she simply couldn’t control her emotions enough to reassure him that everything would be okay.

Kaden wanted to tear his hair out. Lex was staring up at him, resting on the floor with his back against the wall.

All of Kaden’s carefully kept thoughts, all the little lies he had construed for him and others had come tumbling down in that one horrible revelation downstairs.

Twins. Two people meant to be one.

“She’s going to do it. She’s going to drain him, trust me. It’s just the violence that appalls her,” Lex said softly, trying to ease Kaden’s mind, but it didn’t work.

“She shouldn’t have to do that. She just should have allowed me in,” Kaden replied. Even though he had barely any doubt left that he’d be able to walk into that room without the couple-magic holding him out, he still wanted to respect her wishes.

“Thought like a true mate,” Lex remarked and Kaden glared at him. Maya wasn’t his mate. She was his brother’s Origin.

“What is it about her, Kade? Since when do you know that…” Kaden made Lex stop with a gesture. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about his feelings for Maya.

Lex’s eyes followed him for a long moment before he eventually pointed for him to sit down. Kaden felt too anxious for it, but he still gave in to the silent command, planting his ass on the floor next to his friend.

With his hand going through his hair another time he sighed. “Whenever I talk to her I feel peaceful. The moment I saw her in our house it was as if something shifted inside of me. I just knew she was going to stay in our lives even if Jaden tried to brush it off at first. He all but jumped at me when I teased him about sharing her.” That memory made it clear again how twisted Fate’s sense of humor really was.

“Does it make you feel better if I say no one, really no one, expected this outcome? I’ve never known twins besides the two of you and seriously, one would expect a story like that to make its rounds,” Lex mumbled while Kaden rested his head against the wall.

“You know, maybe it really is better if she does that all by herself. If I think about all the things this could mean if she actually makes it through…” He shook his head, Besides the undeniable truth that he had no idea what it would do to her if she drank his blood and therefore bind herself to him; this could ruin everything between him and his brother. “You don’t see a positive outcome in all of this, do you?” he then wanted to know and Lex picked up a brow.

“If I see a positive ending for your love triangle with your brother and his Origin? I mean, your love for her…”

“I don’t love her. I just might fall in love with her,” Kaden corrected, but Lex shrugged.

“Same difference. Jaden is devoted to her because of the bond. He doesn’t know much about her for more. If she’d have any feelings for you they’d be real…”

“There is nothing more real than the mating between a Morningstar and his Origin!”

This seriously wasn’t the conversation Kaden had expected.

Lex sighed. “Oh yeah, Kaden, good things can come out of this triangle if one brother always has to worry about his love being less real than the other one’s love. Shit, this is cruel. Let’s pray that she can do it… That she’ll have enough blood so you won’t have to go in there,” Lex concluded.

Kaden told himself that he wasn’t there yet, he didn’t love Maya, but even if that would be the outcome, he’d stay away from them, he decided. There was only one person who should be suffering for Fate’s cruel joke, and he sure wouldn’t let Maya be the one.

This was too much. With every precious, tainted drop of Jaden’s blood falling into a bucket Maya cried harder. She had to cut him more than once because even though he was not able to fight the poison, his body still fought against injuries. Each time it took her a moment longer to hurt him yet another time.

The blood flow had slowed down to a steady, annoying noise that reminded her of a faucet not being fully turned off. She moved up on the bed, settling down next to him while feeling for his pulse. It was weak and her blood was rushing in her ears too loudly to be able to tell if his heart was still beating or not.

She cut her wrist, pressing it to his lips. There was no sucking from his side at all and it worried her. Since her healing was perfectly fine, she needed to reopen her wound time and again, noticing eventually how he at least swallowed all she gave him.

Suddenly she found herself under him and he was hanging on her neck. The suction felt good because it meant he was alive and because it triggered need in her. There was just no way around the feelings his bite induced.

With bloody lips he kissed her.

“Again,” he rasped out. “You need to watch the blood flow, and watch close. If you have a feeling the blood flow dries off, open the vein another time and only when almost nothing, really nothing is left, come up and open your arm. Don’t stop feeding me your blood, girl. Don’t give up hope. I will start drinking eventually, okay? I won’t leave you.” His breath came in short gasps. Flipping her over had obviously taken all his energy.

“What if I kill you?” she wanted to know, her voice coming out a shaky whisper.

“No one watches me closer than you do, Cupcake, so you won’t,” he assured her, kissing her forehead before sitting down on the side of the bed, bowed over a bucket half full with his blood. The vampire body seriously was something amazing because even in his weakened state Jaden was up and moving.

He was unsteady, but it was clear in his expression that he wanted to get over with this. Her blood must have given him some extra strength because he even managed to smile at her while he kissed her knuckles.

“Empty the buckets and then … let’s make this right. Half draining me only prolongs your torture,” he whispered. She nodded, carrying away what was supposed to be Jaden’s life force.

He was still sitting in the same position when she returned.

“This will only take a few minutes. Your blood most likely will close my wounds faster than before, but if I stay seated like that it should be over rather sooner than later. The worst part comes afterwards…” Maya loved that he was almost back to his old self, bossing her around, taking charge. A second later though she hated that thought when he grabbed Kaden’s dagger, cutting open his arms, holding them over two of the now again empty buckets.

“Hold me, Cupcake. Staying like this while losing all your blood will get hard.” She took a deep breath, moving close enough so she could wrap her arms around his waist, holding him close to her.

“Talk to me,” he whispered and she swallowed while he rested his head against her shoulder. She started caressing his back, feeling how cold sweat covered the body underneath the plain shirt, soaking it.

“I’m not a good mate if I need you to drain yourself of your own blood. I’m sorry I tortured you and then didn’t even do it right,” she told him, this time around being determined not to feed him too soon. It wasn’t only for his sake, but for hers as well. She couldn’t take the sight of him bleeding much longer.

“You are getting there,” she said gently, realizing that he wasn’t answering anymore. The blood was only dripping from his arms by then and she placed him in the pillows, careful to not move his arms too much in order to prevent her getting his whole floor and bed bloody.

She kissed his mutilated wrists, kneeling next to the bed until nothing of his blood fell down anymore, then she moved up, another time cutting her own skin. She shivered as she pressed it to his now cold lips, hearing how his heart took forever to come from one beat to the next. This was most likely what Lex had meant. You couldn’t get closer to death than your heart almost not making it to the next beat.

She had to cut herself eight more times before his lips warmed slightly against her arm, and then four more times before he started sucking on his own. Checking through the bond she realized that there was nothing, meaning it was Jaden’s need for survival kicking in and making him drink. He wasn’t conscious. The way it felt in her body he wasn’t even really alive. His fangs sank into her, making further cuts unnecessary. It made her smile because she knew he was going to be okay.

She slowly got dizzy, realizing that it took even less time for a fully grown vampire to drain his Origin of her blood than it had taken for her to do it to him.

She settled down next to Jaden, not ready to fall off the bed. She closed her eyes, knowing that she was fading into unconsciousness with his lips sucking at her vein, his body close to hers. It was the best thing she could have hoped for before dying.

Kaden jumped up the moment Maya’s heart rate dropped so low he almost couldn’t hear it anymore. He knew that Jaden long would have stopped if he’d been conscious, no matter how much more blood he’d need, but obviously his brother wasn’t the one controlling his body. Maya would be dead in not time and Jaden still would be dying.

“I think the choice about what should happen actually was taken from both of them,” Lex remarked, being on his feet next to him.

He went for the door, proving to Kaden that he was not getting in, no matter how hard he tried. Seemingly someone wanted Kaden to stop doubting everything he had heard and come to know. He wouldn’t be able to doubt fate any longer if he’d be able to open that door and walk inside.

And really, the door swung open at his touch.

He found Maya on her side, arm against Jaden’s lips, his brother’s finger wrapped around the wrist so tightly it looked as if her bones would snap any minute.

Kaden forced himself not to worry because he knew his blood would make her wake up in no time again. He had more than enough to share.

He moved closer, pulling Maya up so she’d be resting against him, making the blood he was about to feed her travel through her body faster.

Wrapping his right arm around her body to keep her from falling he bit his left wrist, giving it to her.

She latched into the blood instantly, her body fighting just as much to stay alive as Jaden’s was. Her heart rate sped up after only the first few mouthfuls and Kaden silently thanked the Creator for their amazing metabolism.

He couldn’t help but cuddle her close, feeling how she released his wrist.

“You haven’t taken enough,” he started, moving enough to meet her eyes. The violet in them was dark, making him shiver. Without a second thought he turned enough so she could take the vein on his neck. He bit his own lip when she started sucking, not being able to help his body reactions.

With every draw he thought this would be the moment his feelings for Maya would change, morph into something different, but besides the endorphins pouring into him with her bite, nothing really felt different.

Relieved, he closed his eyes.

“Thank you,” Maya suddenly whispered, moving from his neck to his lips. Heat enveloped him and he drowned his hands in her hair, giving in to that one taste she now offered him. Before the kiss really began it was over though and she moved gently away from him.

“We’ll be okay now,” she said and he could hear the strength in her voice. She wouldn’t take more from him, no matter what he offered.

“Are you sure?” he wanted to know and she nodded, no longer looking at him.

“Yes. Even if he now half drains me again, he should have enough then and maybe we’ll just get back on the feeding after some hours of sleep. Thank you so much for saving his life, Kade,” she explained, her voice quiet.

“It wasn’t me, Maya. I couldn’t have done it. Only you did,” he gave back, but she just shook her head.

“I’ll see you as soon as he’ll be able to walk out on his own two feet,” she promised, then she gave him a smile before pulling her wrist from Jaden’s lips.

Kaden turned then, leaving the room while praying that it was night. He needed to get away. And he needed a long, hard drink that would maybe, hopefully, get him drunk at some point.

The moment Maya opened her eyes she knew it had worked. She felt energized and fresh and Jaden’s body was warm next to hers, no more cold sweat covering him. His breathing was deep and steady. She was relieved beyond saying. There was something else twirling inside her though and she tried to separate the two streams of feelings, but one was rather muted while the other one was satisfied and content. It was weird knowing everything the twins felt and yet, somehow she felt complete.

Which didn’t change all that Jaden had said to her. She hadn’t forgotten anything; neither the words he had said a few days ago – or had it been just hours? – nor the ones before she had been turned. And that was the problem. She already had realized that he didn’t know much about her, but the complication with Kaden made her wonder if Jaden had been right in the end. Did he only love her because of his genes? Because they were bonded? Had he fallen for her purely because they were meant to be?

Even though Maya never had bothered to think about the idea of love since she had been on the run, she now couldn’t help but wish that Jaden would have had something special he loved about her; something that was uniquely hers and that would have drawn him to her no matter what.

She certainly knew what she loved about him. After all, she had been falling for him from the moment he had walked into that base with her, trying to protect her from all the warriors. Following that, despite his hateful attitude, she had longed for his face because in those rare moments when he had smiled at her she felt as if she truly had someone belonging to her. His voice was soothing, and he had shown kindness towards her, even if later on he revoked it with hateful actions. What she loved most about him though was his devotion to his race and his brothers-in-arms. It was enough to make any girl weak.

She pushed herself up, looking at him next to her. He was beautiful, still the most handsome guy she had ever laid eyes on. A peaceful expression rested on his face; his lips curled into a satisfied smile.

She brushed her fingertips over his cheek, feeling slight stubble there. Obviously vampires needed to shave. The thought made her giggle because it stood in contrast to the popular belief of vampires always being hairless … that was, everywhere but on their heads.

She leaned in to kiss his jaw, grinning as the stubborn hair tickled against her skin. Jaden sighed in his sleep, making her get up. She needed a shower and time to think of the right words to say to determine the path she and therefore the warriors would hopefully take from now on.

There was a lot to sort out for her, starting with the kind of Queen she wanted to be.

She went into the bathroom, turning on the shower. Placing both her arms flat against the cold tiles, she rested her head against her wrists while the hot water pelted down on her.

The air changed and suddenly a hot body was pressed against her, their purple glow illuminating the room stronger than ever before.

“Someone’s feeling very healthy again,” she giggled, feeling his hard cock press against her back.

“Thanks to you. Let me show you how fit I am again, my beautiful Origin,” he said against her shoulder. His five-o’clock-shadow teased her skin in a totally new way.