Serial Love: Saints Protection & Investigation (20 page)

He saw the change in her expression…from happy to guarded. He rolled onto his back, pulling her body over on top of his. She peered down in confusion until his lips latched onto hers, carrying her away with his kiss once more. One of his arms was wrapped tightly around her waist while the other cradled the back of her head.

Finally pulling back, he said, “This goes no further until I know that you understand what’s happening.”

She whispered, “I’m not a virgin, Jack. I know exactly what’s happening.”

She tried to take his lips again but found herself halted by his large hand cupping her cheek.

“Nope, you’re not getting it. This,” he said, giving her waist a squeeze, “means something. It’s not a casual fuck. I’m not the consolation prize for your grief.”

At that, her lust induced haze dissipated instantly and she jerked against his tight hold. “Let me go, you jerk. I thought this was what you were doing here. Making me feel something besides sadness for a few minutes.”

“Nope.”

She glared down at him. “Nope, what?”

Suddenly, he rolled and she landed on her back with his large body covering hers. Keeping his chest from crushing her, he held himself up on his forearms while cupping her face in his hands. His hips lay on hers, his eager cock straining to have the conversation over with.

“Nope, to all the fucked up shit that’s going on in your mind right now,” he growled.

Her glare turned icy but before she could say anything, he continued, “I told you I fucked up. I let my fears of not being able to give you what you needed take over the fact that I’ve never backed down from a mission in my life. Well, darlin’, I’m here to tell you that my new mission is you.”

At that, her glare melted…but only slightly. Seeing her questioning expression, he continued. “I don’t have a job where I’m home every night but that doesn’t mean that when I am home and lucky enough to have you there waiting for me, I won’t make every minute count.”

She blinked slowly, the iciness leaving her glare completely, but the guarded look remained. Plunging ahead, he said, “And my job has me seeing the underbelly of society, the part no one wants to know is there and sometimes living in that world can steal a man’s soul. But you’re in my life, then you’re in my soul and there’s no room left for that shit to take over. You’d be the reason I could go out every day and try my best to keep that world from ever coming into your world full of cabins and flowerbeds, and making others have a sweet vacation.”

At this, her guard come down completely and she tried to lean up to kiss his lips, but he held her head fast.

“Not yet, baby, because this is what you have to take down deep. I fucked up. I pussied out when I decided that I wasn’t worth the risk. It was never you, beautiful. It wasn’t that I didn’t want you. But I gave up on me and I’ve never done that before and I sure as fuck won’t do that again.”

Holding her gaze as she peered intently at him, he said, “So this is the start of you and me. My fuck up caused you to be alone when you needed someone to lean on and that shit stops here and now. This,” he paused to gently press his cock onto her, “is the start of us. Not casual. Not incidental. Not friends with benefits. And sure as hell, not a consolation fuck.”

Touching his lips to hers in a whisper soft kiss, he leaned back, seeing nothing but warmth oozing from her gaze and said, “But I gotta know that you’re getting this. That you’re with me. I gotta hear you say it.”

His words wrapped around her heart, squeezing it until she thought it would burst. Not with the sadness and grief that had surrounded her for weeks, but with the feeling that all was finally right with the world. Sucking her lips in to quell their quivering, she fought the tears, but one escaped in spite of her efforts.

He wiped the lone, wet trail with his thumb, his heart pounding until he heard her response. Her blue eyes, now shiny with unshed tears, held him captive. “So what’s it gonna be, baby?”

She nodded slowly, saying, “I was always willing to take a chance on us, Jack. That’s never stopped.” Sucking in a shaky breath and letting it out haltingly, “I choose you. Us. This. I know there are things we will have to work out, but from the first time I saw you…well, maybe not the first time,” she smiled, remembering her fright at the huge man that captured her and held her when she was trying to get to Gram. “But as soon as I saw you so carefully taking care of Gram in the bathroom downstairs, you filled my thoughts. And dreams. And hopes.”

He smiled at her, his fear receding for the first time in weeks. He pushed himself off of the bed and bent over to grab his boxers. Catching her confused expression, he said, “Not going any further today, beautiful. We’re not doing this now.”

She leaned up on her elbows, her glare returned as she watched him.
What now?
Her thoughts in a whirl, she opened her mouth to ask, but he bent over placing both hands on either side of her as he kissed her forehead.

“I’m taking you on a date.”

“Jack, I’m confused. I’m lying here naked, and you’re leaving my bed after telling me that you want this?”

Chuckling, he admitted, “Yeah. Maybe the craziest thing I’ve ever done and it’s sure as shit the hardest.” His eyes roved down her body and it took every ounce of control to keep his dick from ruling his mind. “You’re no fuck, beautiful. I’m gonna take you on a real date, treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Find out what all’s been going on. Work to make you realize I want to be in your life.”

Continuing to rub his thumbs over her soft cheeks, he said, “There’s one more thing, baby. I broke your trust when I pussied out. But no more. I promise that I’ll never just give up on us. Never. And beautiful?” he peered down at her. “I never fail at a mission.”

J
ack and Bethany
rose from the bed and looked down at the mass of still sopping clothes on the floor.

“Um, let me throw your things in the dryer and it won’t take them too long to dry.” She gave him a perplexed look, then turned and jogged into the bedroom across the hall. She returned with a pair of flannel pajama bottoms with a drawstring tie at the waist. Giving a shrug, she handed them to him, saying, “They’re clean. In fact they’re new, never been worn.”

He lifted his eyebrow in question, wondering what man had been in her apartment. She saw his look and laughed. “It’s not what you think. Gram bought these in extra-large for dad last Christmas but by then she was unable to discern sizes or anything like that. They were on sale and she was pleased. My dad is definitely not an extra-large man, but didn’t want her to feel bad so I just stuffed them in a chest and forgot about them.”

Mollified, he slipped the pants on, commando, as she pulled on dry underwear, yoga pants, and another t-shirt. She bent to gather the wet clothes from the floor when her arms were gently pushed away.

“Got ’em, beautiful. Where do they go?”

He followed her downstairs and she loaded them into the dryer. Suddenly nervous, she fiddled with the knobs on the machine, afraid to turn around.
What now? Talk? Eat? Does he want to hurry and get out of here?

“I can see the wheels turning from here, babe,” he chuckled as his arms wrapped around her from behind.

Smiling, she leaned back into his embrace. “Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah. You’re wondering what in the hell do we do now?”

She whirled around, his arms still holding her tightly and looked up into his eyes. Meeting his returned smile, she saw the crinkles at his eyes and laughed again. Nodding slightly, she said, “Okay, busted. That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

He glanced around at the lodge’s empty room. “Anyone can come in here?”

“Yeah. In the old days, there wasn’t a TV in every cabin and people would gather here for games and conversation. Eventually Gramps had the TVs put in and then video players and then CD players, and then Wi-fi. The list keeps going! So this room is rarely used, but Gram just never changed it, so it’s still a room that guests could come to if they wanted.”

“Can you close it?”

She looked at him askance, saying, “Why?”

He pulled her back so he could see her expression. “I know we have a lot to talk about and I know that when my clothes are dry I’m gonna have to leave for a meeting this afternoon. But I hate the idea of you here by yourself with the door open and anyone can walk in.”

She glanced at the bottom of the stairs to her apartment with its little sign warning people not to go upstairs and knew he was right. Her eyes shot back up to his in concern and he grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the sofa in front of the fireplace. He settled her on his lap, holding her face in his hands.

“What I told you upstairs was true. I want to see where this goes. I consider myself your man now and until this ends, I take that very seriously. I’ll never take over your life but I’m also in the security business and this place is a disaster for a single woman. Hell, it was a disaster for you and Gram when she was here.”

He glanced at the registration desk and then cut his eyes back to hers. “Placing a wall with a locking door over there would give you a large welcome area and make this room, the downstairs bathroom, and stairs secure. It would give you more of a two-story home feel and keep you safer from someone just wandering in.”

Licking her lips, she said, “Jack, I like what you’re saying, but I just took over. Up till now, I was just here to help out Gram. Dad has signed this place over to me and I’ve only been the new owner for about a week. I…I need to check on all the finances to see where we are and what I can do.”

His face grew hard, knowing he could have the wall put up in one day with one phone call, but he had to make that her play. “Okay, compromise,” he said. “Until that happens, you keep the front door locked unless you are letting someone in during the daytime hours.”

“Okay, I should be able to take care of keeping me safe and if keeping the door locked makes me safer, then I will.”

He leaned forward, touching his lips to hers, capturing them in a soft kiss. Not of passion, but one of promise.

“Jack?” she whispered, trepidation in her voice.

His eyes piercing hers, he said, “Baby, you do not ever have to fear me. You want to ask, you ask.”

Nodding, she said, “I just wondered what happened that made you change your mind about us so quickly?”

Sighing deeply, he said, “Most of what I do, I can’t talk about. If I can tell you, I will. But because I travel, work on cases that often involve the lowest criminals, I always thought that trying to build a relationship and deal with that, just wouldn’t work. But you came along and knocked me on my ass and all I wanted to do was be the man you needed me to be.”

“But…” she prodded.

“You know the Saints are working on the serial killer case. I was in on the autopsy of the last victim. The one that was just in the paper.” He saw her eyes grow wide and he squeezed her hips just a little. “Tired, little sleep, bad coffee and then standing in there watching what had been a beautiful blonde, blue-eyed woman, who’d been murdered, be examined. Suddenly, I felt impotent. Felt like I couldn’t separate that world from yours. And you deserve only the best. So I just gave up. Not on you…never on you. I gave up on me being able to give you what you should have.”

Her expression, a mixture of understanding and fear, tore at him. She held his gaze bravely and asked, “What about in the future? Other victims? Other cases? You say you want this but Jack, if I give my heart to you and we have our future, I don’t want to live in fear that you’ll decide to give up on us again.”

“Your doubt cuts deep and that’s on me. I created those feelings in you and I’m the only one who can take them away. I promise you that I’ll work every day to make sure you know that we’re in this together.”

Smiling, she cupped his bearded face, pulling in his lips, this time offering more than a chaste kiss. And he was more than willing to participate.

*

Visiting the old
homestead always made him cringe. The shutters hung askew on the windows. He glanced upward recognizing the roof needed new shingles.
Maybe it’ll fall in on the old bat.
Sighing, he moved through the front door, seeing that nothing had changed, of course. The old furniture, old rug, old everything. His mother sat in her familiar chair nearest the TV as it blared an old game show re-run.

Her eyes, sharp as always, looked up. “Didn’t say you were coming by,” she remarked.

“No, ma. I was traveling nearby and thought I’d see how you were.”

“Humph, like you care. You were probably out looking for some girl last night and couldn’t get lucky so you came by here.”

Gritting his teeth, he said, “Now, ma. You know I don’t do that. I had business to take care of.”

Her eyes looked him up and down. “Your father had business he used to take care of and don’t think I didn’t know he was cattin’ around town.”

“Well, that was dad, but not me.” He sat on the sofa, pretending to watch TV with her for a few minutes, all the while fighting the urge. His hands knotted into fists, wishing for the familiar feel of his knife.
Well, dad’s knife.