Sentence of Marriage (45 page)

‘Don’t force her to eat if she doesn’t want to,’ Susannah said. ‘It wouldn’t hurt you to cut down on your food, Amy. You’ve been putting on weight lately.’ Amy felt a stab of alarm, and her head swivelled towards Susannah.

‘Don’t say that, Susannah,’ Jack protested. ‘Amy could do with putting on a bit of flesh, she’s always been a bit too thin.’

‘She’s not thin now. She’s getting quite plump. That dress looks tight on you, Amy. Do you need a new one?’ Susannah reached out to twitch at Amy’s skirt.

‘No!’ Amy slapped at Susannah’s hand, fighting a rising tide of panic. ‘This dress is all right, you leave me alone.’
I should have told Pa before
.

‘What’s wrong with you?’ Susannah sounded affronted. ‘Jack, see what happens when I try to look after her?’

‘Amy, watch your tongue,’ Jack said. ‘There’s no need to talk to your ma like that.’

‘She shouldn’t say I’m fat. I can’t help it.’

‘Look at you—your dress is cutting in under your arms. You’ll have to get a new one. Why ever have you put on so much weight?’ Susannah again reached out towards Amy’s dress.

‘Leave me
alone
,’ Amy screamed. Her distress brought on another fit of coughing. She doubled over from the force of it.

‘Susannah, she’s really sick,’ Jack said, rising from his chair and moving towards Amy. Susannah also stood up and advanced on her. Amy looked from one to the other of them in fear.

‘I’m not sick,’ she said, taking a step backwards. ‘I’m a bit tired. I’ll have a lie-down. Leave me alone.’

‘Stop carrying on so stupidly,’ Susannah said. ‘Just because I said you’ve put on weight, there’s no need to make such a fuss. Let me look at your dress—it’s so tight, that’s probably making your cough worse.’ Two more strides brought her within inches of Amy. She took hold of Amy’s arm with a firm grip, while her other hand reached out towards Amy’s bodice.

Susannah looked down at Amy from her height advantage of eight inches, and her hand wavered. Her glance shifted lower. She flashed a look of disbelief at Amy’s face before her eyes shot back to the girl’s abdomen. Amy tried to twist out of Susannah’s grip, but her arm was being held too tightly. Susannah’s free hand snaked out and grasped the firm bulge of Amy’s belly. Her eyes grew wide.

‘Oh, God,’ she said, her voice shrill with alarm. ‘Oh, God!’

July 1884

Without another word, Susannah dragged Amy by one arm out of the kitchen and down the passage.

‘Let go, you’re hurting me,’ Amy said. But Susannah kept hold of her arm until they were in Amy’s bedroom, Jack following at their heels.

‘What’s wrong with her?’ he asked. ‘Susannah, what’s wrong with Amy?’

‘Get out,’ Susannah said, not turning her head away from Amy.

‘But—’

‘Get
out
of here,’ Susannah roared. Jack went as if he had been kicked. Susannah followed him to the door and closed it firmly behind him, then turned to Amy. ‘Take your dress off,’ she ordered.

‘No.’ Amy’s voice trembled as she spoke.

‘Do you want me to take it off for you? I will if you don’t do as I say.’ She made to reach for the buttons of Amy’s bodice; Amy turned away to undo them herself. She pulled her dress off over her head and stood shivering in her chemise and petticoat while Susannah looked her up and down in silence.

At last Susannah spoke, in tones of utter disgust. ‘You silly little bitch. You’ve really done it now, haven’t you?’

Amy looked at the floor, biting her lip to try and keep back tears, but they spilled from her eyes despite her efforts.

‘Whose is it?’ Susannah asked.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Who’s fathered it? Do you know? Or could it be just about anyone’s?’

Amy looked at Susannah in astonishment. ‘Of course I know whose it is! It couldn’t be anyone else’s. It was Jimmy.’

She took a step backwards as Susannah flew at her, took hold of her shoulders and shook her. ‘Don’t you
dare
say that! Don’t you dare tell lies about him! You sly little devil, don’t think you can blame it on my brother. I won’t let you.’

‘It’s true, it’s true,’ Amy jerked the words out between shakes.

‘It’s
not!
’ Susannah gave her another vicious shake. Her fingers dug into Amy’s shoulders so harshly that Amy cried out in pain.

‘Stop it, you’re hurting me.’

‘Admit you’re lying. Tell me who it really was.’

‘It was Jimmy. It was
Jimmy
,’ Amy sobbed. She screamed as Susannah’s nails bit at the thin flesh of her shoulders.

The door was flung open to admit Jack, startling Susannah into releasing her grip. Amy backed away from her and snatched up her dress. She fumbled as she turned it right way out again, trying to shield her modesty with her arms at the same time. Jack took in his daughter’s half-dressed state and looked away quickly. ‘What’s going on? What’s all the yelling about? For God’s sake, Susannah, tell me what’s wrong with Amy. Should I send for the doctor, or what?’

‘The doctor won’t be able to do anything for her. Use your eyes, man, it’s quite obvious.
Look
at her.’ Susannah strode over to Amy and took hold of the girl’s arms, wrenching them down to her sides so that Amy’s belly was exposed. ‘She must be nearly six months gone.’

‘What are you saying?’ There was a dawning fear in Jack’s eyes.

‘She’s with child.’

Jack’s mouth dropped open. He stared dumbly at Amy. ‘She can’t be,’ he said at last. ‘It’s not possible.’

‘What do you call
that
, then?’ Susannah demanded, jabbing at Amy’s bulge with one finger. As soon as Susannah released her, Amy scrambled into her dress and clasped her hands over her chest, rubbing at her sore shoulders.

‘Amy, is it true?’ Jack asked, his voice shaking.

Amy saw the distress in her father’s face as he took in her state, and felt her own misery as a stabbing pain in her chest. ‘I was going to tell you, Pa. I… I couldn’t find the right way to. I was scared.’

‘You should have thought of
that
before you got into this state,’ Susannah cut in. ‘Haven’t I told you, Jack? Haven’t I always said this girl needed correcting? God knows I never thought she’d prove me right like this, but I always knew she was willful. You’ve spoiled her all her life, and this is how she’s repaid you.’

Jack did not seem to hear Susannah’s tirade. He continued to stare at Amy, his face full of confusion. Then he shook his head, as though to clear his thoughts. ‘Who did it to you?’

‘She doesn’t know,’ Susannah put in quickly. She looked menacingly at Amy, daring the girl to argue, but Amy refused to meet her eyes. Instead she made herself look at her father.

‘I do know, Pa, honestly I do. It was Jimmy.’

‘She’s lying!’ Susannah cried.

‘I’m not, Pa, I’m not. It couldn’t have been anyone else.’ She gazed at her father, pleading with her eyes for him to believe her.

‘Jimmy?’ he echoed. ‘You mean I invited him into my house and he’s done this to you?’

‘You mustn’t believe her! She’s lying—she’s doing it to shelter someone else.’

‘Are you telling me the truth, Amy?’

‘Yes, Pa. I promise it’s true. No one else has ever touched me.’

‘And I say she’s lying!’ Susannah said. ‘Are you going to believe her over me?’

Jack looked from his daughter to his wife. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I believe Amy.’

‘Why? What have I done to deserve being called a liar?’ Susannah demanded.

‘She’s my daughter, and she’s never lied to me. I’m not saying you’re lying, Susannah. I’m saying Amy’s the only one here who knows, and I believe she’s telling the truth.’

‘She’s not! She’s trying to blame it on James to cause trouble. She’s always hated me, now she’s trying to get back at me.’

‘Don’t talk rubbish. Are you saying the girl’s got herself into this state to annoy you? For God’s sake, woman, I invited your brother down here to make you happy. Because you wanted it. All I seem to have done the last three years is try and make you happy.’

‘So it’s my fault, is it? You see—that’s why she’s saying it was James—so you’ll blame me. She’s a little slut.’

‘Shut up!’ Jack yelled so loudly that Susannah took a step back in fright. He walked to Amy and reached out towards her, then let his hand drop as if he were reluctant to touch her. ‘Amy, I want you to answer me honestly. Did he force you?’

‘So you’re saying he’s a rapist now?’ Susannah snapped, but Jack ignored her. All his attention was on Amy.

Amy looked up at her father. He was wincing as if the sight of her hurt him, but she sensed he desperately wanted her to say yes. She knew that if she said she had been forced, she would in a moment be enfolded in her father’s arms to be soothed and comforted.

‘No, Pa. He didn’t force me.’ She closed her eyes to shut out the sight of her father’s pain.

‘Force her?’ Susannah broke in. ‘Of course he didn’t force her. Even she doesn’t have the audacity to pretend he did. She led him on, the little bitch.’ Her eyes glittered as the idea took hold. ‘Yes, that’s how it happened. She threw herself at him, and he didn’t know what he was doing. James was never even interested in girls till he came here. Then she was so shameless that she took him in.’

‘Took him in? How could she take him in? She’s a child and he’s a grown man. She’s a
child
,’ Jack repeated. ‘I asked your bloody brother down here. “Make yourself at home”, I said. He repays me by shaming my daughter.’

‘She shamed herself! You taught her to be bold—look at the way she’s always talked to me. I could never do anything with her.’

‘I wanted you to be a mother to her. I thought you’d tell her about that sort of thing. I thought you’d look after her. You begged me to let that bastard come here—why didn’t you watch her with him?’

‘That’s what you married me for, isn’t it? To be a nursemaid to that spoiled little bitch. Not to mention an unpaid servant to you and those other brutes. You should have hired a servant—no, that wouldn’t have done you, would it? You wanted more than that, and you could never have
forced
yourself on a servant.’

‘When have I ever forced you?’

‘Every
time,’ Susannah spat at him.

Jack stared at his wife, his eyes narrowed. Amy knew they were saying things to one another that should never have been said, even in the privacy of their bedroom. Things that could never be unsaid.

‘It’s been a bloody long while since the last time—I’m surprised you even remember it.’

‘Oh, you made sure it wasn’t easily forgotten,’ Susannah shot back.

‘Stop your gutter talk in front of the girl.’

‘Humph! She’s the one who’s chosen to wallow in the muck. It’s a bit late to try and keep her pure and innocent, isn’t it?’

‘That’s because of your bloody brother!’ Jack roared.

‘It’s because she’s a
slut!
’ Susannah shouted back. ‘She’s a cunning little whore!’ She screamed as Jack slapped her across the face. ‘How dare you? How dare you hit me?’

‘Don’t you ever call my daughter a whore!’

‘My father would kill you if he knew you’d hit me!’

‘He’d tell me I was a fool not to have done it years ago.’ Jack’s shoulders slumped. ‘And I am a fool. I’m an old fool who can’t look after his own daughter. I can’t even make that fellow do the right thing by her, now he’s taken himself off to Australia.’

‘I wish I’d never come here. I wish I was dead,’ Susannah sobbed.

‘You’re here, and you’re alive and well. And you’re no more miserable than anyone else in this place.’ He reached out an arm towards Susannah. She screamed again.

‘Don’t you touch me! Don’t you hit me again,’ she said, flailing her arms wildly. ‘I hate you!’

‘I’m not feeling very fond of myself, if it’s any comfort to you. I shouldn’t have hit you, and I won’t do it again. You drove me too far. Come on.’ He took hold of Susannah’s arm.

‘What are you doing? Let go of me.’

‘Taking you out of here. There’s no need for Amy to hear all this. Go to bed, Amy.’ He led Susannah from the room. As he closed Amy’s door he looked across at her. Amy searched for a spark of understanding in his gaze, but all she saw was hurt and bewilderment coupled with a deep weariness.

She heard muffled shouting through the wall till far into the night. Even when she resorted to putting her head under the blankets the noise still penetrated. When one or other of the little boys woke and cried the shouts would stop for a time. Finally both children wailed in chorus, and the adult voices subsided into an uneasy silence.

Amy thought she would never get to sleep, but when she woke to see the pre-dawn lightening of the sky she realised she had nodded off sometime in the early hours of the morning. It was time for her to get up and make breakfast. She knew the men would be looking for their food soon; the day started later for them at this time of year when there were only the house cows to milk, but they would still want to be fed and out of the house by eight.