Sentence of Marriage (40 page)

Jimmy soon joined her. ‘What’s wrong, sweetheart?’ he asked, enfolding her in his arms. ‘You looked so unhappy last evening, now you look as though you hadn’t slept all night.’

Amy tried to take comfort from his touch, but when she started to speak all she could do was sob.

‘What is it, Amy? Did Susannah say something horrible to you? Come on, tell me all about it.’

‘It’s… it’s terrible,’ she choked out before her words disappeared into weeping.

‘You mustn’t let her upset you.’ Jimmy stroked her hair as he held her close. ‘What did she say?’

‘It’s nothing to do with Susannah. It’s us.’ Amy made an effort to calm herself, then looked up into Jimmy’s face. ‘I realised yesterday when we got home. Jimmy, I think—no, I’m almost sure—I’m going to have a baby.’

Jimmy’s face took on an expression of utter horror. On seeing it Amy lost all her slender self-control in a moment. Her face crumpled and tears welled in her eyes.

‘Please don’t be angry with me. Oh, what are we going to do?’ she wailed.

‘Shh,’ Jimmy said, pressing her to him. ‘I’m sorry I looked at you like that, I got a shock hearing the news so suddenly. Let’s sit down.’ He helped her to a chair and sat next to her, holding her hand between both of his.

They sat in silence for a while, then Jimmy gave his head a small shake. ‘Well, I didn’t expect that. That was stupid of me, I know, but I just didn’t.’

‘What are we going to do?’ Amy pleaded. She felt a little calmer now that Jimmy no longer looked terrified.

‘We’re going to do the decent thing and get married, of course! Don’t you see, Amy, it’s wonderful news, really.’

‘Is it? Why?’

‘Because we’ll be able to get married. My father won’t try and stop us now. Oh, he’ll lecture me about being stupid and irresponsible, but he’ll want to see us tidily married as soon as possible. He’ll soon forgive me when he meets you, anyway. It’s a good thing he’s going to like you—we’ll have to live with them for a little while.’

‘Will we?’ Amy asked fearfully. ‘Why?’

‘Because I’m not going to have enough money to get us anywhere to live at first. It won’t be for long, darling—I certainly don’t want to see us still living in my bedroom when the baby arrives.’ He shuddered at the thought.

‘As long as you think they’ll accept me. What do you think Pa will say?’

Jimmy smiled ruefully. ‘Your father will want to have my hide, and who could blame him? As long as I can persuade him not to tell your brothers what I’ve done, I’ll get through it in one piece. But after he’s got that over and done with he’ll march us down to the church, maybe with a shotgun to hurry me along. You, my darling, are going to be Mrs Taylor before you know it. There, that’s better,’ he said, seeing her smile.

‘I feel much better now I’ve told you. What shall we do, then? Will you tell Pa today?’

‘No, I still think it’s a better idea to tell my father first. I want to get you away as soon as possible after we’re married, and if I’ve got things sorted out with Father that’ll be much simpler. I’d better go up to Auckland straight away—this week if I can get a passage.’

‘I’ll miss you.’

‘I’ll miss you too. It won’t be for long, though.’

*

Amy saw Jimmy riding off down the road as she was hanging out a load of washing later that morning. She smiled; everything would soon be all right.

That evening she felt brave enough to sit in the parlour with the others, hemming a gown for George. It was almost time for the family to retire when Jimmy spoke.

‘I went into town today. The
Staffa
’s sailing on Thursday, I booked myself on it.’

‘Oh, no, James,’ Susannah said. ‘You’re not going already, are you?’

‘Well, March is more than half over now, Susannah, I’ve been here three and a half months. I’ve already stayed longer than I meant to because I’ve been enjoying myself so much. It’s time I went home and did some work again.’

‘Couldn’t you stay with me a bit longer? Jack, tell him to stay.’

‘You’re welcome to stay as long as you like, lad,’ said Jack. ‘You’ve been earning your keep. But if your pa wants you back I suppose you’ve got to go. You can always come again next summer if you want.’

‘Thank you, Jack, you’ve been more than hospitable. I really do have to go home now, though.’

‘What am I going to do?’ Susannah demanded. ‘Having you here this last summer has been the only thing that’s kept me going. James, I don’t think I can bear being left here alone again.’

‘Hey, Susannah, don’t talk like that,’ Jack protested. ‘How can you say you’re alone with all of us?’

‘I might as well be alone—I wish I was!’ Susannah flashed at him. ‘
They
all hate me.’ She took in Amy and her older brothers with a wave of her arm. ‘And as for you,’ she turned on Jack, ‘all you want is—’

‘Susannah,’ Jimmy broke in. ‘Don’t say anything silly. You’ll only regret it later if you do.’

‘Oh, James,
please
don’t leave me alone down here,’ Susannah begged. ‘I can’t stand it, I know I can’t. I think I’ll go mad if I have to live through another winter here.’

‘Susannah,’ Jack said, reaching out towards her arm.

‘Don’t
touch
me,’ she screamed, slapping his hand away before it reached her. ‘Leave me alone.’

‘Oh, for God’s sake,’ Harry said in disgust. ‘Why don’t you take her back to Auckland with you?’

‘You keep out of it, boy,’ Jack growled.

Susannah turned on Harry. ‘Do you think I wouldn’t go like a shot if I could? Do you think I enjoy living here?’

‘I know none of us have had any chance to enjoy it since you arrived,’ Harry said, ignoring the warning hand John placed on his arm.

‘Will you take me?’ Susannah said, turning a wild-eyed face to Jimmy. ‘Will you take me and the little ones?’

‘Susannah, you mustn’t talk like that,’ Jimmy said, looking helplessly at his sister. ‘You don’t mean any of those things, and you’re going to wish you hadn’t said them when you calm down. You don’t really want to leave, you know you don’t.’

‘I do, I do! I hate it here!’

‘Stop it, Susannah,’ Jack said. ‘You’re carrying on like a child. Stop making a fool of me in front of my own children.’ He reached out and put his hand on her wrist.

‘Don’t touch me.’ Susannah tried to shake his hand off, but Jack held it firmly. Amy could see his knuckles whitening from the force of his grip.

‘I will touch you, and you will do what I say,’ Jack said coldly. ‘And I say you’re staying here with me, and you’re not taking my little ones away, either. And right now you’re coming to bed so we can talk about all this nonsense in private, instead of you screaming like a fishwife. Come on.’

He pulled on her wrist, and Susannah fought him, tugging at his arm with her free hand. But Jack was much stronger. He put both hands on her wrist and jerked her out of her chair, only saving her from flying into the wall by the firmness of his grip.

‘You’re hurting me!’

‘Stop struggling, then. Do you want me to pick you up and carry you over my shoulder?’

Susannah subsided at that threat. She let him drag her from the room and across the passage, weeping as she went.

Amy stared wide-eyed after them, then turned to Jimmy, who looked equally stunned.

‘Pa’s never done anything like that before,’ she said. ‘He must be really angry.’

‘It’s high time he did,’ said Jimmy. ‘That’s half the trouble with my sister, your father’s too soft on her.’

‘I don’t suppose you could take her?’ Harry asked.

‘I’m afraid not, Harry,’ Jimmy said with a smile. ‘Even if I wanted to, your father seems to want to keep her.’

‘More fool him,’ Harry muttered.

*

Amy and Jimmy made the most of their time over the next few days, though it was confined to breakfasting together and evening walks accompanied by the little boys, with the consequently limited conversations.

On Wednesday afternoon Amy went to a grove of fruit trees around the side of the hill from the house. She was picking peaches for jam when Jimmy arrived.

‘There you are,’ he said. ‘I’ve been looking all over for you, and trying to avoid Susannah at the same time.’

‘I thought you’d be busy this afternoon.’

‘I told your father I was going to pack, but I haven’t got much, so I’ll get it done tonight. This is the last chance we’ll have to be alone for a while, and I didn’t want to waste it. Come on, we’re going for a walk.’ He took her hand and pulled.

‘But I’m picking these peaches,’ Amy protested.

‘I’ll give you a hand later, then you’ll get all the peaches you need. Don’t you want to be alone with me?’

‘Of course I do.’

She abandoned her baskets and walked with him to their favourite glade, where their bodies were soon entwined. The knowledge that this would be the last time they would lie together till Jimmy’s return made Amy respond to him with a passion that surprised them both, and left them panting and sweaty.

‘How am I going to do without you?’ Jimmy whispered in her ear as she lay in his arms afterwards.

‘You’ll have to hurry back to me.’

‘Oh, I will. As fast as I can.’ He got to his knees to do up his trousers, while Amy lay with her head propped on one arm.

When he made to stand, Amy rose to her knees and put her hands either side of his face. ‘Wait,’ she said quietly. ‘I want to stay here a little bit longer.’

‘I can’t manage again that quickly, Amy, much as I’d like to.’

‘I don’t mean that. I want to print your face in my memory, so I’ll be able to see it every day we’re apart. Let me look.’ She stared intently, tracing the line of his mouth and the neatly-trimmed moustache with her fingers and studying the way his dark hair framed his face, then let her hands drop. ‘There, I’ve done it.’

‘It won’t be as long as all that, sweetheart,’ Jimmy said. He sounded shaken by the solemnity of her tone.

‘I know. It’s going to seem a long time to me, though, even if it’s only a few days.’

Jimmy was quiet for some time as they walked back to the orchard. When he spoke he sounded pensive.

‘Amy, I’m going to come back as soon as I can, but it might have to be a little while. I mean, I can’t just walk into the house and say “Hello, Father, how have you been the last few months, by the way I’ve got Susannah’s stepdaughter with child, can I go back tomorrow and marry her?” I’ll have to get him in a good mood first, hear all his boring news and all that. Especially since I’m going to want him to give me some money.’

‘Oh. Yes, I see that. How long do you think it’ll be?’

‘I don’t know, maybe a week or two—it shouldn’t be any longer than that. But listen, Amy, I don’t want you to tell your father you’re having a baby. That’s my responsibility, I’ll do it when I get back.’

‘I don’t want to tell him. But I’m going to be with you when you do.’

‘That’s not a very good idea, Amy.’

‘I don’t care. It’s not fair if you get in trouble with Pa when it’s something we did together. He can go crook at us both. I’m not going to let him hit you, either.’

He smiled at her. ‘Don’t worry about me, I can look after myself. But I’m a little bit worried about you, sweetheart.’

‘Why?’

‘Well, like I said, I don’t want you to tell your father. But if I’m away a couple of weeks, I suppose it’s just possible he’ll find out. I don’t know, Susannah might notice something, she must know a lot about having babies by now. Amy, if he does find out while I’m not here to protect you, what do you think will happen? Will he beat you?’

‘Oh, no, Pa never beats me. One time I was rude to Susannah and she made him give me a hiding, but even then he didn’t do it properly like she wanted—you know, so I wouldn’t be able to sit down. He just strapped my hand—oh, that’s a secret, Jimmy, you must never tell Susannah. But he’s never really beaten me.’ She smiled ruefully. ‘Of course, I’ve never done anything like this before.’ She thought hard, her brow creased in concentration. ‘No, I’m almost sure he won’t beat me. It wouldn’t do any good, would it? Don’t worry about me.’

‘That’s my brave girl.’ He gave her a squeeze. ‘That’s a weight off my mind. I think you’re right—your father’s terribly fond of you, anyone can see that.’

The two of them working together quickly filled Amy’s baskets with peaches, then Jimmy carried them back to the house for her.

‘I’m not going to come and see you off tomorrow, Jimmy,’ Amy said. ‘I’d only get upset and give our secret away.’

‘That’s probably sensible, I might make a fool of myself if you did. Can I have something to remember you by?’

‘Haven’t I just given you that?’ Amy asked, smiling at him.

‘Oh, I’ll remember that, all right. I meant something to look at. I know, what about a lock of your hair?’

‘That’s a lovely idea.’

That evening when Amy was getting ready for bed, she cut off a long tress from low on her head where it would not show. She tied it with a piece of narrow silk ribbon.