Seithe (23 page)

"Yes we will. From now on if we're alone together I will present myself to you this way. Especially if it's intimate or I am asking you to trust me with personal information."

I prop myself up, leaning to kiss him with exuberance when my body objects loudly.

"Oouuuch."

"You'll heal soon, I've made sure of it."

"How?"

"Being part angel has some perks, I know some of the best tricks in existence."

"I was going to say ... you are so clever!"

"Yes I am."

He smiles a smug grin at me. Chuckling at his cute arrogance I stick my tongue out. He clinches it between teeth playfully.

"Does this mean I'm actually forgiven for using your brother to rape myself?" I roll my eyes, "I sound so mentally deranged."

Hot, unnaturally red lips perch themselves briefly on the tip of my nose, "Yes. I think if blame is to be cast, we're equally to blame for the mess we're now in."

Tension cloaks my shoulders with those words. "I've really fucked up your life haven't I? And you mine."

"Hmmm, well from where I'm sitting I'd say a bit of distress over this is no biggie."

"Seithe come on. We're screwed."

"You are, yes." Laughter spills out of him, jostling me.

I scrunch my eyes up, "Very funny!"

He drops the jest and stares into my eyes seriously, "Do you regret anything we've done together?"

"No."

"Neither do I. Therefore I deduce the obstacles are worth the outcome."

"Who's challenged you?"

"I don't know yet." His eyes flare briefly silver again.

"Start talking demi-god."

He sits up, pulling me with him. I notice we're back in the sarcophagus.

"Turn your heat up," I demand with worry.

"Spider's coming to get you tonight."

"Not funny!"

He chuckles.

"It's not fair that you're so yummy!"

Brown eyebrows arch at me, "Well it's not fair that you're soft and fuckable with piercing blue eyes and hair designed to be played all over my body, but here we are."

"Bloody irresistible prick!"

"Is that an offer? My prick would love some more attention thank you very much."

"Seithe, stop it." Yet my smile couldn't be wider.

"You are smiling Minxy, and that's all I needed to see."

"Good point. Let's use that too. He's never heard you call me that. So if we're alone begin proceedings that way."

His free hand threads my hair through fingers lethargically. "What's your IQ?"

"Stuffed if I know."

"Look darling, if you want a good stuffing all you have to do is ask, I'm happy to oblige."

"It means I haven't a clue."

A wicked grin flirts with me, "I know." A wink follows.

"Seithe ..." I'm having a gushy mushy moment. His ways just pluck my heart strings, creating celestial harmonies.

"Phoebe? ..."

"I really do love you."

I know my eyes are sparkling wetly. I wish the hand I have on his chest could flow the love I'm feeling right into his heart.

Serious eyes survey mine, staying decadent chocolate brown, "I can feel it. I have no Spirit remember."

Pain dew swells on my eyelashes, "I don't love him."

"Remorse is a bitch, isn't she?"

Nodding I agree, too choked up to speak.

Absently playing with my hair he closes his eyes and begins filling in more gaps for me.

"I'm not going to lie to you. Knowing my brother has tasted your Spirit enrages me. I wanted you all to myself, but he seems to have an immaculate sense of timing with you."

I stay silent.

"I do feel the love you infuse into our interaction. That gives me hope that we can get through this both alive and well."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Red eyes turn red by spilling blood, taking life maliciously. It's so easy to feel that kind of rage, and your kind are such easy targets for angelic warriors." He pauses and stares hard at me, "They know I'm attached to you. We have bonded, I answer your calls immediately. They know I would do anything to protect you. But if I get cornered like that I might have to sacrifice my one and only chance for redemption to save you."

Anxiety widens my eyes, "No. Then don't do it."

"Oh Phoebe baby." He catches my nose between his fingers, "You are so naive. Nothing is ever that easy. I will not let them skin you, burn you, suck you dry, separate your Spirit from you, then your soul, before finally giving you death."

"My god Seithe."

"Phoebe, wake up. Angels are in charge of destroying Satans. You have no idea what we're capable of."

"Um ..." Panic is charging through me like an erupting volcano. "How many Satans are there?"

"Oh right. I forget you don't have the full story in your edited versions. Satan was always plural. For some reason the bunch of you have decided to make them singular."

"Are they the red eyes?"

"No red eyes are fallen angels who have chosen to fall farther. They have no hope ever of regaining the light of the Spirit. We are all half-breeds now. But we've been around for so long because we can't die. We have no mercy, death is mercy Phoebe. I know you can't see it that way, but it is."

I collapse against his body again, overwhelmed with ignorance and worry. Snuggling, I pull myself as close as I can, entwining my legs with his.

"I feel safe with you."

"You'd be one messed up broad if you did this with someone you couldn't feel safe with."

"Next.."

"I'm hoping we can avoid this challenge completely."

"How?"

"I can't tell you. It has to happen naturally."

"You're worse than a woman at keeping mysterious secrets."

"Free will Phoebe, that one's the motherfucker. Red eyes are marked. In their red eyes. The stain on their core shows through their eyes. By marking you as the challenge, they either are unhappy you refused immortality, shunning the entire community, or someone's marked you without my knowledge."

"This isn't calming me down."

"So far you've screwed up by trusting your body's data feedback. You trust what your eyes see, what you feel with your hands, what you smell. The only way you will get out of this intact is to let that all go. Heightened awareness through your senses gives you a heads up. But only by trusting this..."

And he places a palm over my navel.

"… This will keep you safe. That never lies. Your umbilical cord was there. And you still have one there direct to Spirit. Don't ignore twinges of nervousness, fear that stirs there is yelling at you. Any sense of unease in this region
must
not be doubted. I'm urging you to trust your Spirit. The INstinct you were born with."

"Shees, okay ... I will. Calm down."

"Phoebe Martin this is paramount to me. I will not calm down when I'm desperate for you to see the light."

"Fine."

"You will see the light. I'll make damn sure of it."

"And then?"

"Then nothing can ever hurt you again."

"None of this makes any sense."

"When you walk into a room, I expect you to see the entire room in one glance. In that split second what was standing there can disappear. Observation, especially of the peripheral kind, is survival for you right now. I'm going to test you everyday until you're going to want to cut out my tongue and suffocate me with it."

"Bloody hell..."

"I am going to freak you out by forcing you to see like God."

"How is that possible?"

"That's what you don't understand, for a human anything is possible. Phoebe, when you find me in the dark what do you see?"

"Light. I find a light I now associate with you. But it's inside my head. Lurking behind my eyes as if I'm seeing backwards. Okay, now I know I need a padded room and a therapist."

"And when Grastle stood with you?"

"Nothing, just a really really strong vortex of anger."

"That is the difference you need to remember. You are safer being blind than having sight. Why does the blind man see? The blind man sees more than the man with sight, because the blind man sees the soul."

"Parables now too?"

He arches his neck, highlighting his Adam's apple with seductive laughter.

"I quote, The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field, Matthew thirteen."

"For heaven's sake, Seithe."

"You still don't have a clue?"

"No!"

"The mustard seed is your Spirit which has been sown inside of you. Your Spirit is the Kingdom of Heaven. Because God is Spirit. John four. What gives life is God's spirit. John six. Phoebe..."

He covers my heart with his hot palm, "..The Kingdom of Heaven is within you.
That
is why you are made in God's image. That's why you have the same power. I told you I wanted to show you the Kingdom of Heaven. I only seek to make you see your own Spirit and what it's capable of."

I'm simply floored.

"Oh."

"And you will find it in the dark."

"Great."

"Because it is light!"

"And what does any of this have to do with the predicament we're in?"

"You said please to Jowendrhan, but not to Ellindt. Who gets to order angels, Phoebe? The Spirit of God, one and the same thing. If you say please, that means whoever you address has a choice. If you order it, you give them no power."

"
OH!
"

"Creation came about through words spoken. Mantras do work because you create every time you speak. Not that any of you realise it. When you speak to any Vampyre own your power. Don't ask, tell. Unless it's me of course."

"Haha!" I show him the tip of my tongue again. "So what now?"

"Now you face the darkness, and I won't let you out until you see the light."

"I can order you to let me out."

"Wrong, you said you would die for me. Now you have to. It's time for your past to die so you can embrace your future. I have your spoken words to use against you. I'm calling it in. You will die, just so that you can be born unto yourself."

My heart starts hammering, I inhale to speak, when I feel the rush of air surround me. I'm stuck! I'm stuck in a tiny box! IN THE DARK!

Chapter 32: Atoms

Oh god! Please tell me I'm not in a coffin!

"You're not in a coffin."

My heart slows marginally.

"Where are you?"

"On the other side watching you."

"Seithe, what the heck is going on?"

"You are in a wooden box. You can't come out until you tell me what's placed on the floor in front of the box."

I stare at the pure darkness around me. I can see nothing! Holding a trembling hand up, I can't see it or sense it at all. I have no idea even if it's being held in the right place to be seen. I stare at the space in front of me, feeling tentatively with the hand.

"Seithe, how am I supposed to see through wood?"

"Every boundary you perceive is inside your head. It doesn't exist."

"What utter shit!"

"Is it? Science proves me right."

"This isn't funny. And you're spouting utter bollocks!"

"What is matter made up of?"

"Stuff."

"What stuff?"

"Atoms and stuff."

"What's inside an atom?"

"A nucleus."

"And?"

"Who knows!"

"Empty space."

"So?"

"So what you perceive as solid is ninety percent empty space. The wood in front of you is not solid. You only think it is."

Stuff you! I bang my knuckles hard against it.

"Hear that? That's solid dude!"

"It's only solid because you believe it is."

"Whatever."

"What would happen if you choose to believe that ninety percent of it doesn't exist. What then? What if you choose to believe scientific proof. Would you see that wood as an obstacle? Or would it be as non-existent to you as oxygen? Oxygen is as powerful as wood. How you perceive it is the only difference."

"I really hate it when you make sense."

"Time's wasting Phoebe. No sex, no milkshakes, no margarita's, no lasagne, no clothes, no sleep, absolutely nothing until you tell me what's on the other side of that mental boundary called wood."

"Mean arse!"

"Phoebe, for your entire life you have focused on the ten percent of the matter barring your way. You've ignored the ninety percent that isn't in your way. YOU created the obstacle. For me that obstacle does not exist. For you, there shouldn't be an obstacle. Retrain your mind.
Change your mind
!"